Chapter Sixteen — Trinity #2
“Just because you don’t know them doesn’t mean they don’t exist,” Isolde said.
“And what you described really isn’t that uncommon, now that I’m getting to know people in the kinky community here.
Just because something you want isn’t ‘normal,’ doesn’t mean it’s bad.
And just because something is a fantasy doesn’t mean you’ll like it in real life, so there’s no reason not to try it. ”
“That’s true.” I hadn’t thought about it that way.
My brain often defaulted to black and white. Without realizing it, I’d been treating this list as permanent and irrevocable, when I already knew it wasn’t. From what I’d learned about it since meeting Cade and also doing research, kink practiced in a healthy way could always be negotiated.
“But,” I said, “I still don’t want to overthink it. So let’s watch something first. Give the chocolate time to hit.”
Ocean shook her head, but she was smiling. “Fine.”
“If we can decide what to watch in under an hour,” Isolde muttered, sending us all into laughter once again.
“Okay, what’s next?” Ocean asked through her giggles.
The chocolates were in full effect, and it was exactly what was needed.
I now had most of the list filled out with things I was interested in.
Every time I put something as ‘absolutely yes,’ I wrote it down in my notes app.
I was going to take pictures of the list too, but I wanted something condensed.
Bondage/Restraints
Worship
CNC
Praise
Ownership
Full time dynamics
Bratting
Group Sex
Free Use
Anal
Forced Orgasms
Cock warming
Somnophilia
Primal
Training
Collaring
Blowjobs/face/throat fucking
High Protocol
So far, there were only four things on the ‘absolutely never’ list, other than the generalized limits like no permanent harm or marks. Humiliation, degradation, crawling, gags, and begging.
Everything else fell into the neutrals and maybes, and I wasn’t quite done with the list. Admitting to wanting some of these made my entire body blush, but every single mark on this list was the truth.
“Stop it,” Ocean said.
I looked up to find her looking at Isolde, who was pouting at her phone. “I know.”
“Hawk?” I asked.
“Yeah. He should be home on Friday. But that feels like forever. But he just texted and said that he misses me, and can’t wait to see me, and I don’t want to wait.”
Ocean just smiled. “He’ll be here before you know it.”
I narrowed my eyes. Something about the way she said that felt off. Like she knew more than she was saying. Meeting my gaze, she shook her head subtly.
“Breath play is next,” I said. “Choking, that kind of thing.”
“And?”
I thought about it. Bastian’s hand on my throat made me feel things, but I wasn’t sure about the actual idea of being choked. But if it was just to make me a bit lightheaded?
I marked it down as a probably yes.
“It’s a maybe. Not—”
Isolde sat straight up and gasped, her hand on her chest. She looked at Ocean. “What did you do?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The sneaky smile on Ocean’s face said differently.
Micah—the third of Ocean’s Alphas—knocked on the doorframe. “Isolde, I have a special delivery for you.”
Hawk strode into the room without fanfare and without acknowledging anyone else, going straight to the couch and hauling Isolde up and into his arms. Her whine was lost in the kiss he took, completely consuming her.
I looked at Ocean. “You guys brought him back early?”
She shrugged. “What’s the point of having a private plane if you don’t use it?”
Micah laughed and kissed her hair. “We use it plenty.”
“Yeah, but you don’t mind doing favors for people either.”
Hawk broke away from Isolde and spoke, but he kept his eyes on her. “Trinity, Ocean, it’s good to see you, and I’m sorry to break up the party, but I’m taking Isolde home.”
Her face was buried in his neck, inhaling him, and that same longing rose up. I wanted that. The desperation and the comfort of coming home to someone who only ever wanted you. “Have fun,” I said. “Isolde, call us later.”
“I will.”
Hawk picked her bag up and carried her out of the room like he was being chased.
“That was really nice of you guys.”
“It’s their first long time being separated. It was harder on her than she expected.”
I didn’t doubt it.
Micah stroked a hand over O’s hair and down onto her shoulder. “Are you coming to bed soon, wife?”
“I will. I just want to help Trinity finish this list.”
I waved a hand. “It’s okay. I’m almost done, and then I’m going to crash.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” She smiled and looked up at Micah. “Then I guess I’m coming to bed. You good with your normal room, Rin?”
I nodded. “You know I’m halfway in love with that room. The sheets are nicer than the fanciest dress I own.”
They both laughed. “Night, Rin.”
“Night.”
“They already know you’re with me tonight,” I heard Micah say as they left the room hand in hand.
It wasn’t a lie. There were only a few more terms on the list, and I was tired.
Down the list I went. Maybe yes, probably no, maybe no.
The last term on the list made my heart skip a beat.
Objectification
The erotic, consensual act of treating someone as an object.
Purpose: Submission, display, use, control.
My phone was already in my hand searching for more, because I never knew this existed. I never knew this was a thing, and it was exactly what I’d described earlier.
I read until my eyes burned. Every facet I could find, both the ones I liked and the ones I didn’t. But the more I read, the more heat gathered under my skin. I felt hot and needy, and if I were at home, I definitely wouldn’t be falling asleep with my vibrator.
Before I went to bed, I circled absolutely yes.