Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12
I lifted a hand, shielding my eyes, as the thick cloud cover split and a single ray of sun arrowed toward my face. The leaves swirled in the wind along the short path as I made my way to meet Jax.
The skeleton of a desiccated leaf slowly drifted and came to rest on the shoulder of his leather jacket. His muscles flexed beneath his charcoal V-neck t-shirt as he plucked the leaf from his shoulder, Jax leaned against a thick pine tree as he twirled the leaf by the stem.
Jax looked up as I approached, and his dark eyes met mine. A smirk played across his lips as his gaze slowly traveled over me.
“Hey, Ax.” I flattened my skirt and fiddled with my charm bracelet.
“Zellie,” he acknowledged, his eyes heated. “Come with me.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Where are you taking me?”
I couldn’t see it, but I could tell he was smiling darkly as he walked ahead of me. “It’s a surprise.”
“Of course it is,” I muttered.
I searched for a conversation topic as we crossed under the carved stone arch leading to the academic building. Creatures of myth and legend were carved with so much detail and attention that it appeared they’d leap from their solid confines into reality. “First day back at the academy, hmmm?” I let out a heavy sigh.
He grunted. “Half the professors still canceled their classes today. The only students here are merely pretending to mourn. None of them likely knew Amara well, yet they placed flowers, teddy bears, and other useless shit by the site where she died, as if she spent so much time there.”
“I don’t know. I see it.” I mused. “It’s their way of mourning the loss of their own invincibility and the hard truth that even at our age, we are fragile and can be wiped out in a second. It’s not distasteful, and it’s not like Amara is alive to see it.” I said, trying hard not to sound insensitive.
He looked back at me over his shoulder and tweaked a dark brow.
“What?” I asked.
“Your responses continue to surprise me.”
“How?”
“You’re honest, sometimes on the side of too blunt.” He grinned and a wicked gleam entered his eyes. “And fuck if I’m not turned on by it.”
A blush quickly warmed my cheeks, then Jax lifted my chin with a knuckle. “It’s refreshing, pet. You’re not trying to please anyone or saying what society deems appropriate.”
I shrugged. “It’s all true. I mean, when I imagine being dead, I’ve never felt so loved.”
“You imagine that?”
“Do you find that odd?” I questioned, feeling uncomfortable.
“I think everyone does it now and again, but few people say it out loud.”
I smirked. “I guess I was born without that social filter thing.”
He smiled. “You are absolutely fucking perfect.” Jax paused, then ran a tattooed hand through his hair. “However, your magic severely needs training.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why do you think that?” Unholy shit. I thought I had been doing well to conceal my magic’s true, wild nature.
Jax ignored my question. “We’re here.”
I had been so focused on my conversation with Jax that my surroundings didn’t register until now. We stood in a dark corridor, cast iron sconces hung on the stone walls between countless thick doors on both sides. As Jax strode toward the closest door on our right, the candles housed in sconces on either side ignited with a soft whoosh.
Without warning, Jax turned incorporeal and stepped through the locked door. I crossed my arms. I get stuck with being too beautiful and he gets to walk through walls. I rolled my eyes internally. Before I could continue my annoyed inner musings, a translucent hand pushed through the door. The tattoos covering his hand and fingers, still visible in phantom form, rippled as he crooked a finger.
I raised my hand, then placed it within his. An unnatural cold seeped into me through his palm, and I shrieked as he tugged me through to the room beyond. My breaths stuttered as I swayed, then bent at the waist and leaned on my knees.
“You okay, pet?” Jax asked, then chuckled.
I waved my hand dismissively. “Oh yeah, totally fine. I’ve been yanked through solid objects tons of times.”
Deep, seductive laughter rumbled out of him and quickly filled the empty room. Jax wrapped an arm around my shoulders, then led me to the center of the space. Our steps left visible by thin prints in the dust coating the hardwood floor as we moved.
“Is this an old classroom?” I asked as my gaze darted from a carved human skull placed on a large mahogany bookcase, spiderwebs stretching across both eye sockets, to the three haphazardly stacked towers of black desks.
“Yes,” he affirmed. “No one uses these rooms anymore, but none of the faculty would give me a simple explanation as to why.”
“Well, that’s creepy as fuck, Ax.”
He snorted. “Perhaps, but it makes for a quiet, secluded place to play with your magic safely.”
He pulled out his phone, then selected a playlist. Black Honey by Thrice drifted from the small speakers. The alternative rock song suited Jax perfectly and was just what I imagined he would listen to.
“Nice playlist.” I approved.
“This is the best way to entice your magic to the surface.” He told me. “Music can evoke powerful emotion in us.”
“I’m not sure if that is the best idea.” The thought of dragging more of my emotions to the surface was terrifying. My horror must have shown on my face, because Jax stalked toward me.
“It can’t hurt to try, pet.” He continued, then backed me into a wall. “You need to learn to control your powers before you end up killing someone.”
Unease scraped down my spine. Something in his tone sounded off. It was unsettling. “There are two paths. Light and dark.” His hand collared my throat but didn’t cut off my airway. “But creatures like you and I balance on the edge between both. You cannot continue denying your dark nature.”
I looked up into his molten gaze. “How can embracing something so sinister end up in anything but tragedy? It feels wrong to unleash the very thing I’ve spent my entire life caging.”
Jax pressed his body into mine, then cupped my cheek with his free hand. “Your methods are failing, pet.” He smoothed a thumb over my lower lip, then leaned down and bit it gently. “You will never gain full control over your powers until you embrace everything dark within you. One cannot exist without the other.”
The candle light glinted in his eyes, showing off a thousand shades of gold. I gazed into them, entrapped by his stare. My hips rose of their own accord, and I rubbed against his stiffening length. I stopped as soon as I realized what I was doing, but the damage was done.
He didn’t need any further encouragement to lust after me. My despicable beauty did that for him already. Everything about me lured people to me like prey. Maybe if I had control over my siren magic, I could learn to dampen the effects of my pull on others.
Jax closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. He took a deep breath, then his eyes slowly opened. “As much as I would love to make you scream around my cock, this lesson is more important. Are you ready to embrace the inky void?”
“That’s what today is,” I stated, not as a question. “You want me to go dark?”
“To feel it, understand it, accept it.”
The corner of my lip twitched. “And you? Do you embrace your inky void?”
He nodded, then dropped his arm and stepped back. “Always. I’ve never hidden who I am,” Jax purred. “Show me who you really are.”
I felt intensely vulnerable as he looked at me with burning curiosity. I put my hand up to my neck, the warmth of his hold still ghosted over my skin.
“Everyone lies.”
“Yes, but usually not to themselves.”
I disagreed. “Actually, I think that’s who everyone lies to the most.”
He rolled his eyes, in a teasing way. The corner of his lips lifted. I ached to run my fingers against his dark brown stubble. Would it tickle my skin with soft, springy bristles or would it scratch? Being around Jax made me feel vulnerable. It was intimidating, like he could see right through me.
The music swelled as the alt-metal song reached the chorus. The thing in my chest shook, nearly rattling my bones. Unholy shit, he was right. The music was encouraging the madness, the fabric of my emotions themselves, to tear me apart. I rubbed my sternum, then walked to the other side of the room.
“That,” he said, pointing a long, tattooed finger at my chest, “is your inky void begging for release.”
A thin, glittering strand from a spider web stretch, then snapped as I picked up a small glass jar, its cloudy surface hiding the contents within. I placed the jar back on its shelf and reached for another, but Jax’s hand covered mine.
“I used to feel the same pain lodged deep behind my ribs,” Jax said, his breath tickling the back of my ear. “Let it out, Zellie.”
I turned around and pushed against his pecks. Jax slowly stepped back with each of my shoves, but I wasn’t under the illusion he was allowing me to move him.
“How?” I choked, the pain quickly transforming into agony.
Jax’s boots thudded softly as he paced a slow circle around me.
“Close your mind to everything. Shut down each thought pinging through your mind one by one. Then, focus all of your intention on your inky void. Speak to it within you and encourage it to allow you access.”
“You want me to talk to the thing in my chest?” I asked skeptically.
“Yes, pet. Building a healthy relationship with both sides of your magic is crucial.”
I forced out a shaky breath, then closed my eyes. “Ugh, Ax…This feels so fucking weird. How do I speak to it?” I threw my arms out to the side. “Oh hey, darkness, want to come out and play?”
Jax snorted, then cleared his throat. His boots thumped softly as he walked up behind me and placed his hands on my waist.
“Honestly, that could work.”
I jabbed my elbow into his torso, but he just laughed. The pain was quickly reaching too much for me to handle. Adrenaline raced through my blood and ice frosted over my heart as I panicked.
“Please, move away from me. I-I can’t focus when you’re touching me.”
As Jax stepped away, agony seared through my chest cavity. It was as if the inky void was a literal monster living inside me and hell bent on clawing its way out. The fabric of my shirt bunched under my palm as I clutched my chest and panted.
I need to get this magic out of me right the fuck now!
Black crept into the edges of my vision, as if my retinas were charring like a log in a campfire. My back arched sharply and my arms flew back as the torture increased, then collapsed into a brilliant, violent storm and surged from my chest.
The classroom shuddered as my power blasted into one stack of desks. Shards of wood speared through the air and impaled everything in their path.
Heat rose beneath me, and sweat beaded along my cheekbones. I looked down, and my stomach twisted into a jagged ball of fear. “Fuck!” I shouted, then leaped from the violet flames, pillaring into the air where I just stood.
Jax sent a wave of his blue magic over my head and smothered the fire. He blew out a breath, then ran a tattooed hand through his hair.
I couldn’t look away from the scorch marks on the stone floor. I sighed. “This was a waste of time.”
“I thought we agreed not to lie to ourselves.”
I ground my teeth together, and my limbs shook with exhaustion. “Oh, just fuck off, Jax.”