Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
J ax called after me, but I didn’t turn around.
Whatever it was he was hiding from me; I didn’t want to hear it. Instead, I took a walk through the town. Going home wasn’t an option. Not only would Mother be pissed if she found out I was skipping the academy again, but I couldn’t risk her forcing me to complete her sick ritual—I needed all of my blood inside my body where it belonged.
I hurried down the small winding road, the same one Lalita, Eleanore, and I ran down as kids. I was haunted by the good times, taunting me as if to say those days were long over. Every path I walked in Crimson Leaf and Ghost Rose Academy echoed with memories.
My purpose had always seemed clear, or at least unimportant. Now, everything had changed. The guilt my mother pressed upon me daily was ever present, but thoughts of Jax constantly swirled through my mind. I couldn’t decide if I was truly falling for a man who refused to let his guard down enough to reciprocate any feelings…There was no doubt we shared an intense sexual connection, but I really couldn’t be sure how much of that was driven by our magical natures.
When we finally gave in to the connection in the library, the air shivered as our bodies connected. It felt like so much more than the instincts of siren and phantom blood.
Was it possible for him to be attracted to me and not just my all-encompassing beauty?
My heart ached as I shoved those thoughts into a vintage black trunk in my mind, locked it with a silver skeleton key, then tossed it into the depths of my subconscious to rest with the countless other buried memories covered in thick cobwebs.
The forest loomed in the near distance, surrounding the town of Crimson Leaf and Ghost Rose Academy. The town and the academy blended seamlessly into one another. The gothic style architecture bleed into both properties.
I had told Dad not to go hiking here so many times, but he never listened to me. I know I shouldn’t have lectured him. I too felt drawn to these woods. I laughed, not to mention if he wanted to do something, he did it and there was no deterring him. I wish I was like him—going for what I wanted without hesitation. I used to be stronger.
I passed Requiem’s Reads and Amethyst, the only place local to restock on all one’s magical needs. Displays of fluorite and black tourmaline stood on beautiful cast iron racks in the shop window, sheer black curtains framing the edges. My fingers itched to touch every single one and allow their vibrations to move through me.
I sighed, then turned away from the shop. The wind picked up, blowing my loose blonde tresses around me in a curtain. As the breeze changed directions, my long hair billowed to my side, waving hypnotically.
I allowed my feet to wander, leading me where they would. By the time I dragged myself out of my thoughts, the worn, but clean cobblestone ground of town had turned to a thick carpet of pine needles. I turned in a slow circle, taking in the sea of eastern white pine trees that expanded around me in all directions.
They grew in clusters, the acidity from their fallen needles encouraging more white pine trees to grow in an unending cycle. The air was damp, and my surroundings grew darker as I moved farther into the forest, the time-chiseled pines crowding together, cloaking me in darkness.
There was something magical about communing with nature. The forest was a beating heart, filled with creatures of all sizes. Each beat of its heart throbbed through my body. I smiled, then dug my toes deeper into the soil and pine needles beneath my feet.
I saw the allure that Dad must have seen. There was something freeing about being in a place where, if one were to drop dead, nothing would change. Nature would simply crawl over the abandoned corpse and claim it as its own.
I rolled my shoulders back and the tension radiating throughout my muscles disappeared as I submitted to nature. The thin, barren branches closer to the base of the trunk scraped at my arms lightly as I walked, but I embraced the slight pain they offered.
I inhaled slowly, tasting pine and natural decay. My hair hung loosely behind me, sweeping through the decomposing pine needles and desiccated leaves on the forest floor. I let my instincts guide me as I fought my way through the overgrowth. Gnarled tree roots twisted above the ground at the base of the eastern white pines before sinking back into the earth. Nothing was disciplined in nature—it could expand in all its glory without restriction.
The trees thinned slightly as I stepped through the branches, then gasped. My gaze trailed over the dark pond before me. There was hardly any space between the water and the encroaching trees. I crouched before the pond, then trailed my fingers through the surface.
My siren magic purred within me as my skin made contact. It has been far too long since I immersed myself within the magical depths that larger water sources provided. Goosebumps pebbled over my skin as I stripped myself bare, both mentally and physically. I hung my clothes and backpack over a low-hanging branch, then stepped into the shallows.
The power emanating from this secret pond whispered secrets in my mind as I sank below the surface. My body shifted slightly as my siren magic sang in my veins. I swam through the obsidian depths as gills slit into the sides of my neck and webbing stretched between my fingers and toes.
I lost myself within the world beneath the surface, and for the first time in far too long, I felt at peace. I swam, stretching my body and luxuriating in the pull of my muscles only swimming created. Bubbles surrounded me, then floated to the surface as I breathed. All sense of time fled as I gave into instinct and just existed in the present.
My spine arched, and I turned my face toward the surface as a shadow loomed over me. Had someone followed me to the pond?
I kicked my feet until only my eyes broke the surface. Water dripped into my eyes as I stared at the figure crouched by the bank, a wickedly sinful smile gracing their face. My gaze traveled over them as I stood, sandalwood and cinnamon tickling my nose. Every muscle in my body tightened , preparing to defend myself.
“Fully giving into your siren side, I see,” Jax stated, his gravelly tone dripping with lust. His eyes roved over my naked form.
It was then that I realized what set my instincts on edge. Jax was in his incorporeal form, his tattooed fingers seeming to disappear entirely as he dipped them into the water. No wonder I didn’t sense him earlier as I moved through the forest. I snorted, then cupped my hands over my naked breasts, the webbing still present between my fingers covering far more than they normally would.
“Did you follow me here?” I whispered.
“It was too tempting not to. A sad little siren all alone in the dark woods,” he said, then licked his lips. “Plus, I really don’t like how we left things in that classroom. I told you I would help you embrace your inky void and I intend to.”
My jaw dropped as Jax removed his clothes, then stepped off the bank and prowled toward me. His incorporeal muscles drew my eyes as they bunched and flexed with his movements. Everything was too heightened with both of us in our natural forms. I ached to run my tongue over his abs , then lower.
I gulped. “And that involves you being naked?” I squeaked.
He chuckled seductively. “No, but the temptation to feel your warmth seep into my phantom body is too strong for me to ignore.” He winked, then continued speaking. “Plus, I needed to get you alone. There’s something you should know.”
Unholy shit. This was not good. He grabbed his fat cock and stroked it as he pursued me. I watched a bead of pre-cum form on his translucent head and my mouth watered.
I shook my head. Fucking focus, Zellie. Ignore the hot phantom.
“Does this have to do with what you’ve been hiding from me? Poorly, I might add.”
His gaze narrowed, and he nodded, but he continued leisurely stroking himself as he spoke. “There’s a reason you’re struggling to accept the inky void within you.”
I raised a brow and forced my gaze to his face.
“I suppressed one of your memories from the day Amara died.” He lowered his gaze. “But know this, Zellie, it wasn’t your fault,” he said, defending me.
“But it was an earthquake,” I stated, confused.
Jax pinched his lips. “Your pent-up magic exploded from you. Amara took things a step too far and your inky void rose to defend you. The shaking felt around campus was the physical manifestation of your magic.
I gathered my thoughts and finally spoke. “Show me,” I demanded.
He replied, and his gaze bore into me. “That might not be the best idea, pet.”
“Show me,” I growled. “Now.”
He took my hand in his and closed his eyes. I closed mine too and lowered my mental shields I had been crafting since the beginning of the semester.
The cloud of fog lifted. The skull-crunching sound blared in my mind. Thomas watched me darkly from the window as it unfolded. The memory shifted to the aftermath. My hand shaking as I gripped a shard of glass, ready to end it all. Jax rocking me as I cried the whole night.
The connection broke, and he drew me into his arms. The unnatural coolness of his phantom skin wrapping around me. He waited patiently for me to break, but I didn’t. Instead, I felt something else shoot through me.
Why had I been so weak to try to kill myself over a girl who had done nothing but make my life Hell?
I shouldn’t have let those thoughts cloud my better judgment, but it was better to own it than let it tear me apart. The inky void in my chest rattled and shook its bone prison.
“Zellie,” Jax said, then kissed the top of my head, “your siren nature is very similar to mine. My dark, inky void craves to take life when necessary, too.”
I pulled away from him slightly, his still engorged cock brushing the apex of my stomach. “It does?” I asked incredulously.
“Yes, pet. And ever since you came into my life, it aches to kill for you too, but I know you can handle whatever threat presents itself to you,” he said, then smirked.
I wrung my wet hair between my hands, the golden mass much too heavy when soaked through with water. “So, acknowledging my inky void as a strength, and not something to be feared, is a necessary step toward controlling it,” I stated, then bit my lip to prevent the smile from taking over my face. Everything felt so much clearer now. I truly understood why Jax felt he needed to remove my memory. I was suffering from a mental breakdown and nearly ended my life. The combination of grief for my dad and the unfounded, immense guilt from killing Amara drowned me.
But now that my mind was once again my own, I felt so fucking free. I don’t know if I would ever completely forgive Jax for invading my mind without my consent…but there are better ways to spend my life than wallowing in sorrow—and I fucking needed him. It was an indisputable fact.
I raised my head, then met his smoldering gaze. “Fuck it, I am who I was always meant to be, dark void and all.” I took a step toward him. “And now that I know you’re just as fucked up as I am, I’m done denying the pull between us, phantom.”
“As am I, siren,” Jax growled.
He caught my hips as I lunged at him. Our lips collided, and I moaned into his mouth. I pushed Jax backward until we reached the edge of the bank. He sank to the ground with me on top of him. Water lapped at our hips as we kissed. I couldn’t control the need burning in my core.
“I need you. Now!” I said huskily.
“I know,” he replied, then yanked on my loose, wet hair. “Now shut the fuck up and ride this cock, siren,” Jax growled.
His head slammed into the reeds on the bank as I straddled him and dropped onto him in one quick motion.
“Fuck, Ax. Your cock feels so damn good.”
I gasped as he slapped my ass, then tilted my head back with his hold on my hair. My breasts pushed forward, and he latched onto a nipple. He drew it into his mouth, suckling on the tender flesh before biting it hard enough to cause a sting. Moisture flooded down his shaft. Pain blended with pleasure as I rocked on his cock.
“You’re so godsdamn beautiful, pet.”
He thrusted his hips up with each of my downward strokes. His girth stretched me as he rutted into me from below, the head of his cock stroking against my cervix. Jax pressed his thumb against my clit, then moved it in tight circles.
“Oh Ax!” I moaned.
“Good fucking girl screaming my name. Look at how beautifully you’re taking me.”
I glanced down between our bodies. It was eerie, but also exciting, being able to see through his hard incorporeal shaft.
Jax gripped my hips, then flipped me onto my stomach, my chest pressing into the bank. Our joining was dirty and primal. I wasn’t sure if my craving for him would ever be satiated.
“I’m close. Please. Fuck me harder,” I gasped.
He gathered my hair, then wound it tightly onto his hand and forearm. He pulled on the thick mass, using it as a leash as he fucked into me. The water sloshed lewdly around us as his momentum picked up. I dug my fingers into the muddy grass beneath my palms, then shoved my ass against him, meeting him stroke for stroke.
“Cover me in your cum and I’ll fill you with mine,” he demanded.
Jax reached around us and circled my clit hard with his fingers. The pressure deep in my core built painfully before centering deep inside me.
“I’m coming, please don’t stop,” I moaned, as everything within me focused and combusted into a cataclysmic inferno, my orgasm drowning me in nirvana.
“Gods dammit, baby girl. You’re so fucking tight around me.”
He curled his body over mine and rutted into me with wild, hard thrusts. “Fuuuuuck,” Jax roared. His cock throbbed rhythmically as his cum pulsed into me. He shuddered and jerked as his orgasm claimed his body, filling me with hot cum.
We lay on the bank panting as he rolled onto his side and took me with him, his cock still firmly within me. The water lapped at our tangled legs as we caught our breath.
“This changes nothing,” I mumbled, but the lie tasted bitter on my tongue.
“We’ll see about that, pet.” Jax moved my hair trapped beneath me to the side, then smoothed his tattooed knuckle down my jaw. “I’ll never have my fill of you. My hunger goes beyond only physical need.”