Chapter 19
Chapter 19
J ordan knew she must be crazy, to plan a birthday party in the midst of so much grief and chaos. But this was the first year Charlotte had an awareness and understanding of her birthday, of what it meant to have a party. Jordan didn’t have the heart to disillusion her, not after everything else. But there were a lot of logistical concerns.
First of all she had no idea who to invite. Her mother would be on a cruise. Jay’s parents made it clear they couldn’t make it. Their tone, when she asked, had felt disapproving, as if they thought she shouldn’t host a party when the grief was so raw. But maybe that was her own sensitivity over the matter.
Charlotte wasn’t in school, so there were no little friends to have over. It felt too needy and aggressive to invite the near-strangers from the library’s story time, especially after the debacle of a play date with Blarney and Clipper.
In the end she decided she was overthinking it. Charlotte might have a vague notion of what a party entailed—people and presents and cake—but she didn’t know those people were supposed to be her age. It would be enough to have guests there to pay attention to her and give them a reason to eat party food. So after a brief few days of agony, wherein Jordan tried to assemble a list of Charlotte’s pint-sized social group, she instead scratched that idea and decided to invite her own friends, hers and Jay’s. Once that was decided, she began to relax. Amelia and Ethan and Ridge and Maggie had already RSVP’d. Frog and his wife were on the fence, pending her family’s visit. And then there was Ribs.
Her stomach did the flippy thing it had been doing whenever she thought of him lately. As if someone had broken in and released a fresh wave of butterflies. She didn’t like it, but she also couldn’t seem to undo it.
Face the facts, kid. You have a crush on Gaines. It was so mortifying she almost couldn’t stand it. Six weeks a widow and see how low she’d sunk. Instead of healing she’d developed an unhealthy and unrequited crush on her husband’s best friend. She felt confused and ashamed by the unwarranted feelings, but mostly embarrassed that she’d become such a sad cliché.
On the other hand she had no idea how she could help it, not with Gaines being so solicitous and tender and concerned and there . He’d shown up in the last six weeks more than Jay had in the last three years.
She gasped at the disloyal thought and pressed her hand to her eyes, almost drowning in guilt. How could she think such things about the man she’d been married to for twelve years? On the other hand, how could she not?
The fact was that she and Jay had some serious problems. His death and her grief didn’t change that. As much as she didn’t want to be easy pickings for the first man who paid her a bit of attention, neither did she want to memorialize Jay, to make him a saint when he hadn’t been. They’d loved each other, but life hadn’t been perfect.
“Not to nitpick, but this would go a lot better if you’d stop throwing your hands over your face,” Amelia said.
Jordan lowered her hands and stared at her stylist and friend in the mirror. “Oh, I forgot you were there.”
“I get that a lot,” Amelia said, a lie. She was usually impossible to ignore, beautiful and witty, the sort of woman who lit up a room and made heads turn. If Jordan didn’t love her so much, she’d probably resent her. “Are you thinking of the kids? I’m positive they’re okay.” Amelia usually did Jordan’s hair at her house so the kids could roam free. Today Jordan came to the salon and her children, at Amelia’s suggestion, were with her brother, Darren, and his stepdaughter, McKenna.
“Actually, no,” Jordan admitted.
“Good, because he has a lot of faults, a lot , but Darren is freakishly good with kids. It’s kind of a Pied Piper situation. Kids flock to him. And I think McKenna and Charlotte will hit it off.”
Jordan smiled at her in the mirror. It was nice to have a friend who thought about your kid enough to try and find her a friend. “I’m sure they will,” Jordan agreed. She’d met Darren a couple of times before, along with Babs, and felt no qualms about leaving her kids with him. Strange since she left them so rarely, but Darren was that kind of guy—good and upstanding and conscientious. And it was only for an hour and a half. After the first thirty minutes Babs would arrive home from work. Jordan had promised to return the favor next week and host McKenna so the newlyweds could have a date, a favorable arrangement for both of them. She made a mental note to invite them to Charlotte’s party, squirming under Amelia’s intense inspection.
“If it’s not the kids, then it must be…” Amelia let the words hang.
“World peace?” Jordan said weakly.
“Or a certain peacekeeper,” Amelia said, wagging her brows.
Jordan hadn’t mentioned a word about Gaines to her, but somehow she knew, proving that she must be completely obvious in her newfound crush. She felt her cheeks go crimson.
“Stop blushing, you’re throwing off my mojo,” Amelia groused, frowning as she gave Jordan’s hair a little tug. “Why are you blushing, anyway?”
“Because it’s so completely humiliating,” Jordan said.
“Which part?” Amelia asked.
“All of it. The fact that I’m a recent widow with a crush. The fact that I’m one of them now.”
“Normal human female?” Amelia guessed.
“No, one of the groupies. I mean seriously. How many times have we thrown shade at them, tossed them our disdain for obsessing over a guy merely because he’s a SEAL, because he’s handsome and manly and wears a uniform.”
Amelia scowled at her in the mirror, set aside her scissors, rested her hands on Jordan’s shoulders, and gave her a stern look in the mirror. “Jordan, I say this with all the love in my heart: you’re a moron.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Jordan said, tossing her hands in frustration.
“Listen, you dope, you’re not a SEAL groupie. You were a SEAL wife. And you’re not having feelings because a guy is handsome and wears a uniform; you’re having feelings because he’s been your friend for more than a decade and he’s stepped up in a major way.”
Jordan blinked at her, letting the words settle over her. “Oh,” she drawled, multiple epiphanies dawning. “What about the part where I’m a recent widow?”
“No, that part is still bad,” Amelia said, picking up her scissors and pointing them accusingly at Jordan in the mirror.
Jordan couldn’t help it, she snorted a laugh that was quickly followed by another and then another and then, ten minutes later, they were still bent over laughing and wiping tears.
“I’m such a mess,” Jordan declared, wiping her nose.
“Yep, but so is he. So is everybody,” Amelia agreed, picking up another stalk of hair to trim. “Life is messy. It comes hard and fast. Grab on to the good parts and don’t let go.”
“Everything magically makes sense when I’m sitting in this chair,” Jordan mused.
“I’m not sure if it’s because I have a lot of wisdom or we’re always high on salon fumes,” Amelia said, causing them to start on another round of giggles that couldn’t be stopped until the door jangled. Amelia’s husband, Ethan, entered, followed by Gaines. Both men smiled as they approached. Ethan paused to kiss his wife while Gaines crossed his arms and regarded Jordan in the mirror.
“This is where the magic happens,” she told him.
“Impossible,” he replied.
“That Amelia can do something with all this?” she motioned to her hair and face.
“No, that Amelia could be the cause of the magic when I know for a fact it’s been happening at least the past thirteen years.”
In the mirror, Amelia and Ethan exchanged a surreptitious fist bump.
“Do you routinely drop by beauty salons to say smooth things to lonely widows?” Jordan asked.
“Not as often as I’d like,” he said. “I’m here to pick you up.”
“I drove.”
“Not a literal pickup. The sort where I take you and the children to supper and then…”
Her brows rose. “And then?”
He shrugged, tossing her a half smile. “We’ll see where it goes.”
Amelia and Ethan exchanged another fist bump.
“You know we can see you,” Jordan told them.
“And we can hear you. That’s why we’re doing this,” Ethan returned. “My man is doing well. Don’t ruin this for him.”
“He could be doing better,” Amelia inserted.
“How?” Ribs asked her.
She tipped forward to whisper in his ear.
“I’ll take that under advisement,” he said, nodding.
“Oh, my goodness, you guys. Our friendship has crossed too many lines today,” Jordan said, pressing a hand to her overheated cheek.
“Ours?” Ethan said, motioning around the group. “Or yours?” This time the motion only included Jordan and Ribs.
“I…” Jordan stopped short when she realized they were all staring at her, genuinely awaiting an answer. “I have to go get my children,” she resolved, aiming for primness.
“I think that’s my cue to provide a rescue,” Ribs said, extending his hand to help her up. When their fingers touched, Jordan felt a tingle that went all the way down to her toes. And when she stood he didn’t release her. Instead he tucked her hand in his, leading her alongside him toward the street.
Jordan glanced helplessly behind her, in time to see Amelia and Ethan exchange one final fist bump, followed by a kiss.