Chapter 20
Chapter 20
G aines still had hold of her hand. He used it to lead her to the passenger door of her car. Jay and his friends weren’t really the sort of men to let a woman drive them places. Jordan supposed she should take a stand for her independence, but really she didn’t care. She had never acclimated to heavy and aggressive DC traffic. In fact she had missed Jay shuttling her places and was almost ridiculously grateful for the time away from the wheel.
“So, Miss Jordan,” Gaines began as soon as he’d pulled away from the curb.
“Yes, Mister Gaines,” she returned, using the opportunity to stare at his perfect profile. Straight nose, full lips, long lashes, stubbled cheeks. A little part of her brain hoped it would be a longer than usual drive so she could keep staring at the literal eye candy beside her. Parts of her brain she previously didn’t know existed were lighting up, like she was sitting next to a Da Vinci while listening to Mozart and doing Sudoku.
“I would like an answer to a question, please.”
“And what is the question?” she returned.
“Why is it when I try to tell you you’re beautiful you become flustered and want to argue with me?” He darted her a glance and she faced quickly forward, immediately flustered and defensive.
“I don’t.”
“You do.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she insisted.
“Just now, at Amelia’s salon.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “That was you being you. Of course I can’t respond to it.”
He waited until he paused at a stop sign to look at her. “What? What does any of that mean?”
“You know how it is, Gaines.”
“Really, really no.” The car behind him beeped. Reluctantly he forced his attention away from her and began to drive. “Please explain.”
She was helpless to understand the annoyance in his tone when it was all so obvious to her. She needed to do this the right way, so she wouldn’t cause offense. She drew a deep breath. “For thirteen years I’ve been on the periphery of your life, Jay’s life, the team’s life. I’ve gotten an up close glimpse at how your world works, how the game is played. I know how it goes.”
“Jordy, I don’t understand a word coming out of your mouth.”
“I’m saying I’ve lost track of the number of women and girls who have come and gone in that time. I grew up in a navy town, and I always, always understood how it was.”
“How what was?” he asked, exasperated.
“The game, the thing you all do. There’s an overabundance of testosterone involved; it has to find an outlet. A sort of pressure release valve. One of those happens to be picking up women. I was miraculously lucky to find a guy who didn’t do that. I don’t expect to find lightning in a bottle twice in a lifetime.” She turned her gaze out the window, missing the raw and wounded look Gaines tossed her way.
The rest of the drive was quiet. Jordan remained unwitting that she’d plunged them both into sadness, her remembering her past, Gaines thinking of their future. He parked in Darren’s drive and turned off the car. Jordan started to get out, but he put out a hand, halting her.
“In the past thirteen years, how many women have I dated?” he asked.
She bit her lip, thinking. “Three I’ve met.”
“Three,” he repeated.
She blinked at him. “What?”
“Not three you’ve met, three women. Total. I’m not that guy, Jordan, not the sort who uses women and tosses them away. And it makes me so sad that you who should know me so well think differently.”
All of a sudden she realized she’d hurt his feelings and tears sprang to her eyes because it was the last thing in the world she wanted. “Gaines, I’m sorry,” she said sincerely, resting her hand on his arm. “I guess I am guilty of lumping you in with the others. And Jay used to tell me stories, nameless faceless stories of some of the antics that went on. I assumed he was talking about you.”
He shook his head slowly back and forth.
She glanced down at her hand, still resting on his arm. “Why only three?”
“What?”
She looked up again, meeting his eyes, eyes that now bounced cagily away. If she didn’t know better, she’d say the question made him nervous, but she couldn’t figure out why. “Why only three women? In all that time. Why so few?”
“Because…” he started and stopped, beautiful mouth hanging slightly ajar. “Because I…because…”
Her heart kicked into overdrive, though she had no idea why. Gently, her hand smoothed back and forth on his arm. He stared at it a few beats, composing himself. At last he took a deep breath.
“Jordan, I guess what I want you to know is that when I tell you something from this point forward, I’m not feeding you a line. I’m being sincere. I would never lie to you.” Tentatively his hand eased out, covering hers.
Now it was her turn to stare at their combined hands. “Gaines, you know I was twenty when Jay and I got married. We were married for twelve years. I’ve been a widow six weeks. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t have a lot experience in my current position as a single woman. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I’m just…I’m so predictably bad at this.”
He tipped forward a little, catching her eye. “I think you’re probably better at it than you realize. And in case I wasn’t clear before, you are beautiful, Jordan. Now, then, always.”
He gave her such a sweet smile Jordan had to let go of his arm to press a finger under each eye. “I might cry.”
“That’s okay,” Gaines reassured her.
“Yes, but I also might…” She broke off, unable to continue.
He gave her what she had always thought of as his rogue smile, except now she realized he wasn’t a rogue, not at all, not even a little. “What else have you got, Jordy? Let me have it.”
And so she did, almost lunging across the console in her haste to kiss him. She had no idea if she meant it to be a quick press of lips, mostly because she gave it no forethought, but as soon as her lips touched his all thoughts of quick or simple flew out the window, along with her restraint.
Kissing Gaines was as good as she’d always imagined it would be, if she had allowed herself to imagine such a thing, which she hadn’t done until shockingly recently. But it had been a long time since she’d kissed anyone besides Jay, and at that it had been mostly perfunctory hello or goodbye kisses the last few years of parenthood. At first she was on sensory overload. She might have been kissing anyone and overwhelmed by it. And then her brain caught up and she realized she was kissing Gaines. Gaines. And he was kissing her back, quite artfully. So much that she sighed against his lips. Her fingers slid into his hair, his fingers caressed her jaw. Jordan had no idea what might have happened next, nor how long they sat in her car kissing like teenagers, but eventually a horn honked, startling them apart.
Abruptly she yanked back, staring at him, mouth ajar with shock, lips bee stung with his kisses.
He regarded her in silence, looking strangely subdued. Or perhaps he was merely being a gentleman after she jumped and mangled him, putting him on pure hormone blast.
“Gaines,” she whispered, wishing she could dissolve from the combined power of misery and humiliation. What had she done? And how could she undo it?
“Let’s go get the kids,” Gaines said and then, not waiting for an answer, got out of the car.