Chapter 32 #2
His arms are wrapped around my neck, and his head rests on mine. When we get to the tent, I put him down, and he sits on a chair outside.
When I head inside, I’m greeted by Nutmeg. She wags her tail, and I pet her head. “Hey, sweetie. You’re such a good girl.”
I rummage around the place, finding the first-aid kit. It’s tucked in a cabinet. I take it out and go through it, pulling out an analgesic spray, gauze, an antibiotic ointment, and bandages.
I squat in front of Romeo, who’s biting his bottom lip and gripping the sides of the chair while he watches me spray his wounds.
“Am I hurting you?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “No, but I feel like it should. I mean, they throb like hell, but you aren’t making it worse.”
“Where would you like to go next?” I ask to distract him.
“You mean we don’t have to stop traveling?”
“No, we can go anywhere for as long as you want.”
“Can we see some snow?”
“Of course. We can see the fucking world, if you want.”
I take the gauze and wipe away the dripping blood and spray. Next, I grab the tweezers and pick out some small rocks embedded in his skin.
“I guess we’ll need to settle somewhere, huh? We need to find help. Like, can we find a doctor?” he asks.
“Not necessarily. We can find a psychologist who’s willing to talk to us over video. We can be anywhere for that. They’ll probably need to put me on meds, though.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Why didn’t you do that before? Why the trip and… the plan?”
I gently apply some ointment to his knees and sigh.
“Because I didn’t want to. There was no reason for me to stay.
” I look up at his gorgeous, mismatched eyes.
“All I could think about was ending it all. Holt is in my skin, my blood… my fucking soul. I feel gross from it. Contaminated. I know he can’t really do that, but my brain screams about it.
He took everything from me. Maybe if I had a good friend or if my mother had cared, it would’ve been different.
But when you’re all alone, even surrounded by people…
I don’t know. When I started planning this trip, I felt good for the first time.
In control. Relieved. I wasn’t afraid to die. ”
“I’m… glad you couldn’t do it.”
My eyes water, and I glance away, choking it back.
I’m absolutely fucking sick of crying. “All I could think about was you. I think… I think you saved me, Cupcake. If I hadn’t met you, I’d be down there in that ravine.
I really had nothing to live for until you.
It sounds… kind of stupid and clichéd, but it is what it is. ”
He lifts my chin to force me to look at him again. His eyes are red-rimmed and swollen. “It doesn’t sound stupid at all. You saved me, and I saved you. I’m not sure I did anything at all, but I like that.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
I open the bandage wrappers and place them on his knees. “There, how’s that?”
“Good, thanks.”
He holds out his hands to me, palms up. There are scrapes all over them, but none are bleeding. “You hurt my hands, too.”
I take them both and kiss each heel of the hand. “Better?”
“Maybe. A little.”
I huff a laugh and kiss them again. “I love you, Romeo. It’s all happened so fast that it’s a little dizzying, but I do.”
“Not for me. I’m not dizzy at all. This is the steadiest I’ve ever been. I hurt for a while, thinking you were gonna die, but now that I know you’re not, I feel a hope I haven’t experienced before.”
“Just know that you’re enough, Romeo. You were enough to punch through my fear and plans.
I can’t say what’s going to happen down the road, or if I’ll feel like it’s all too much again.
I’m sure deconstructing my abuse to a therapist is going to hurt like fuck.
It’s also going to be hard not to let slip that I murdered someone. ”
“If anyone can, it’s you. We’ll both get help and hold each other. We’ll take care of each other. You’ll never feel alone again.”
I rest my forehead on his palms, which I’m still holding. “Thank you for that. I’ll need you more than ever.”
“You’ve got me. All of me.”
I glance up at him and smile. “Where would you like to go next, Cupcake?”
“As I said, I want to see snow. Is there snow somewhere in the summer?”
“Live in it, or just visit?”
“I think I want to live in it. I’ve seen enough desert to last a lifetime.”
“We could find a place somewhere. I’ll have to call my lawyer and accountant to stop the will, and let them know I’m not dead. I don’t need all that money, so you and Jinx can have most of it.”
Romeo cups my jaw under my chin and squeezes just enough to get my attention. “I don’t want your fucking money. You’ve already given me more than enough. You being here is all I want.”
My eyes fucking leak again. “Dammit! Stop making me even more emotional. No one’s ever…”
“I know, Sugar. No one’s ever cared about you. No one’s ever cared about me, except for Jinx. At least I had someone I could lean on. You had no one. You and I are soulmates, and soulmates are always there for each other, no matter what.”
“How do you know so much about that?”
Romeo shrugs and smiles sweetly at me. “I don’t know. It’s just a feeling deep in my gut.”
I smile and wipe my eyes on my hoodie. “Then I’ll trust your gut.”
“Mornin’. What’s going on?”
The voice makes me jump, even though I know it’s Jinx. I quickly wipe my face again and glance back at him.
“You should tell him,” Romeo whispers.
“Yeah, I guess I should.”
“What the fuck happened to your knees, dude?” he asks.
Romeo looks me dead in the eye and says, “Julien happened.”
“Dude, you shove him or something?”
I scoff at him. “Why the fuck would I shove Romeo? Jesus.” I stand, sigh, and run a hand through my tangled curls. “I need some coffee for this. Sit, and I’ll tell you a little story.”
Jinx is going to be as pissed as Romeo. I just hope he’ll forgive me, too.