Chapter 14 Penelope #2
“Did you have fun with Aunt Cara?”
I know she only slept, but it’s an olive branch question.
She tightens her arms around herself and glares.
Daniel starts the car and pulls up the address from yesterday.
“Your daddy helped me work today. Wasn’t that nice?”
More tightening, more glare.
Oookkkaayyyy.
I turn on the radio and find it on a classic rock station. I raise an eyebrow at Daniel, who is looking marginally better.
“Rebellious teen, remember?”
“I remember rebellious twenty-something,” I tease back.
We let it play on as we drive back home in silence. Again, he walks us to the door.
“Thank you again, for everything, Daniel. I’m sorry....” I want to apologize for her, but she’s allowed to feel big feelings.
“I liked seeing you again today, Danny,” he says to a scowling little girl. Her shoulders are pulled up to her ears, and she stares at the gravel walkway.
She grunts.
“Oh, I have this for you, too. Don’t want to forget.” He hands a folded piece of paper into my hand and walks back to his car.
“What is this?” I call after him as I unfold it. At first my brain doesn’t compute, and then I realize it’s a check. For $500,000.
I wave it at him as he rounds the front of his car. “It’s child support and alimony. "
“I can’t take this!”
“No take-back-sies!” he shouts back on a laugh as he plops into his car and starts the ignition and drives away.
I look down at my little angry gremlin and sigh. I let us inside the house and plop onto the couch after I’ve dropped my bag and shoes at the door.
“Your father’s ridiculous,” I grumble as I put the check in my bag. I’ll figure out what to do with that later.
I grab Danny’s hand and drag her into the living room where I sit and gather her in my lap and just hold her. The longer I hold her, the softer her body becomes.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“You know it’s okay if you have big emotions, right?”
“Yes.”
“Do you want to talk about what you’re feeling now?”
“I didn’t like that he was there.”
“Okay. That’s fair. Would you prefer he wait in the hallway next time? He was asking me how I wake you up without startling you, and I was showing him. But you’re right. Waking up to a strange man can be scary. I’m sorry.”
Her tiny body softens more.
“But he’s not a strange man. He’s my dad. I just don’t know how to act around him.”
“You just be you. He wants to get to know Danny. Not how Danny acts.”
Sad little eyes look up at me, and I see myself in her place.
Dad never outright called me a burden, but every time I had big emotions or acted like myself he made it very clear that I was a burden.
He would sigh, long and pained. And I wish I’d had a mother to hold me and tell me that I wasn’t a burden.
And that it was okay not to act perfectly all the time.
That I deserved to take up space just because. Not because I’d earned it.
“What if he doesn’t like me?” she whispers.
I give her a squeeze. “Ah, that’s the great thing about having a mommy and daddy. It’s called unconditional love. It means no matter what you do, or how you act, we will always love you.”
“Always?”
I nod. “Always.”
I move her tiny body off of me as she thinks through her thoughts.
“How about we make waffles this morning? That’ll cheer us up.”
“Do you think my dad likes waffles?”
“I don’t know! Let’s ask him.”
I open our text thread but hear Gen’s bell. I type him the text hurriedly before dropping my phone onto the island and jogging up the stairs to Gen’s room.
“You kept me waiting. This is what you get paid to do. I ring the bell. You come.” Irritation prickles up my spine, but I push it away. She can’t help it that she’s miserable.
“Of course, Gen. What’s up? What can I get you?”
“I’m hungry. What’s for breakfast?”
“I was just about to make waffles.”
“Well, go then. What are you still doing here?”
I make a show of fluffing her pillows for her, which I know placates her, and promise to refill her ice water.
When I get back downstairs, Danny’s already in the pantry, struggling with the very heavy and very full container of flour.
“Whoa, there, girl. That thing’s as big as you are.”
“I just wanted to help, Mommy.” Pride fills my chest. The thoughtfulness of our little girl is amazing. This. These are the moments I want Daniel to experience. He’ll understand then.
Speaking of, I open our text thread again. I hadn’t had a chance to look at his last message when I asked the question, so when I scroll back up I can’t help but laugh.
Daniel: I might be paraphrasing here: (And let me know if you don't have a printer; we have one at the club) You're it for me, Nell.
You're end game. I want to date you. I want to be your boyfriend, fiancé and husband.
I want the two of you to move in with me.
I want to make you that stay-at-home-mom I've always wanted and pop out however many more kids you want.
Daniel: I want to feed you and spoil you and provide for you. After you, if could never be anyone else. But I understand if this is too much for you right now, and you want to try on bits of what I want, or none of it at all
Me: do u like waddle
Daniel: Waddle?
Daniel: I confess my feelings to you and you're asking about waddling?
Daniel: Like ducks?
Daniel: I do like ducks
Daniel: Are you having a stroke? Wait. Did you stroke out and now you're on the floor not responding?
Danie: NELL
Daniel: NELL!!!!
Daniel: I'm about to send an ambulance to your address
Daniel: Who's watching Danny while you're unconscious?!
Daniel: Wait. You wouldn't answer that…you're unconscious! Shit!
I laugh and shake my head.
Me: Stop! Stop! I'm fine. Was just typing too fast and then had to take care of Gen
Me: We're making waffles. Danny was asking if you like waffles
Me: I meant WAFFLES, not WADDLE
Daniel: Woman
Daniel: You have no idea how close to a heart attack I want
Me: you're 30 you're nowhere near heart attack age
Me: And you still haven't answered the question
Daniel: Yes, I like waffles. I'd especially like to feed them to a certain sex, redheaded, wannabe stay-at-home-mom
I roll my eyes.
Me: I was going to offer to FaceTime you so we can make waffles together, but I take back my invitation
Daniel: No! I'll be good. I promise
Daniel: But only if Danny wants to
“Hey baby, Daddy does like waffles. I was going to FaceTime him to show him how we make them. But wanted to check in with you first. What do you think?”
She looks sheepish at first, unsure. But finally she nods.
I FaceTime him and set him up on the counter against a few cookbooks. It’s mostly just me in the shot, but Danny can pop her head in when she wants. I set her up on the stool, and Daniel picks up after the first ring.
“There are my pretty girls,” he says as a greeting. I flush at the compliment.
Danny hides at first, but she’s watching him. I get the rest of the ingredients from the fridge and set them up on the counter.
“So, what do you like on your waffles, Danny? Chocolate chips? Strawberries?” Daniel asks, his voice chipper again, and it eases some of the tension I’ve been carrying.
She doesn’t reply, so he asks me instead.
“What does Mommy like on her waffles?” There’s a sauciness to his voice that I’m sure goes over Danny’s head but twists my insides.
I quirk my lips to the side, filling a measuring cup with flour. I hand it to Danny, who pours it in with minimal mess.
“I like chocolate chips... strawberries... blueberries...” I sing-song, happy and light at this unexpected domestic moment. I could almost imagine him at work and us at home baking on FaceTime together.
I don’t know what he does at the club, but he was going to college for finance, so maybe he went back and finished.
“Okay. Now. The most important question... powdered sugar, chocolate syrup or maple syrup?”
“Maple syrup and butter!” Danny shouts from beside me, leaning over so her forehead is at least in the screen.
“Naturally,” I add.
We finish mixing the dry and wet ingredients while Danny and Daniel argue over toppings and breakfast foods.
What’s the best breakfast drink? What’s better — waffles or bacon and eggs, sweet or savory, fruit on the side or mixed in?
What’s better, pancakes or waffles? And I remain silent.
I want them to have their moments together, where they spend time talking and figuring each other out.
Bonding. It’s all surface-level stuff, but it’s building a connection; a series of positive interactions on which to grow a relationship.
I fry up the waffles in the waffle maker while Danny walks the phone around, showing Daniel our home, her toys, but I tell her not to go into the basement. Or upstairs to bother Gigi.
Once I have enough made, I top them with maple syrup and butter, and cut them up before calling back to Danny.
“Hand me the phone while you bring up a plate for Gigi, okay?”
She nods. “Two hands, and walk slowly!” I shout after her. A little maple syrup on the floor won’t kill anyone, but giving her an important job will be good for her self-esteem.
I take the phone back and smile at Daniel’s handsome face. Then I remember the check.
“I can’t take your money, Daniel. It doesn’t seem right.” And I’m incredibly uncomfortable with the amount. I could never imagine seeing that much in my lifetime, let alone saving it up.
He shakes his head. “I used a calculator. It’s the child support and alimony you would have gotten if I’d known.” That deflates my fight a little.
“How much money do you have if this is just a percentage?”
His grin is wolfish before it sobers.
“I’m meeting with my lawyer tomorrow, too. To add you two to my will.”
Waffles forgotten, I slump onto the dining room chair. “Daniel...”
But he holds up a hand and shakes his head. “I have no one else. My sister’s gone, my parents don’t need it. Currently, it’s all going to charity, but now that I have you two...”
I shake my head. “It’s just a lot... I... I’m grateful. I truly am, I’ve just never seen so much money... I... I don’t know what to do with it.”
“Spend it, save it, buy a boat, I don’t care.”
Like he didn’t just give me half a million dollars.
We could buy a house, but we can’t move out and leave Gen and my sisters.
We could definitely afford to fix the back deck.
Maybe pay off the mortgage? I’d have to ask Gen how much the house is mortgaged for in a way that doesn’t let her know about the money.
“I’d like to take you guys out tomorrow. Maybe dinner and a movie? The zoo? The aquarium?” I nod. I can make Gen and the sisters something easy before we go.
“I’d like that.”
“And I’d like you to quit your janitor position. You’re working too much, Nell.”
I nod slowly. “I’ll think about it.” It would be nice not to have to shepherd Danny around DC in the early hours of the morning.
She loves Aunt Cara, but getting up at two in the morning to go to a different place to sleep isn’t great.
But Chastity and Grace aren’t reliable, and Gen’s so far deep in her self-wallowing, I don’t trust her with Danny, either.
I could say that I’ve saved up the ten thousand and pay for the deck in cash and quit, and they’d never know about the rest of the cash. I can’t believe I’m going to go to the bank tomorrow and cash a check for half a million dollars.
I’ll definitely put most of it aside for Danny’s college fund. The idea of my little girl going to college fills me with pride and longing. Someday, too soon, she’ll be out on her own, forging her own path in life. And Daniel just gave me the means to make it happen.
We hang up so I can focus on the rest of the waffles and getting my day started.
The front door swings open right as we sit down to eat, and Chastity and Grace walk in, still wearing cocktail gowns and carrying their shoes. They toss their purses and shoes haphazardly by the front entrance, and I tense.
The check is in my bag. They can’t see it, but their proximity to it makes me anxious.
If they found it, they would absolutely not hesitate to take it.
They’d find some way to make me cash it and give it to them.
They’d ask why I have access to that much money — who I’m talking to.
Who I know. It would blow the lid off everything with Daniel. And I can’t have that. Not yet.
I’m about to ask Danny not to tell her aunts about Daniel, but don’t get the chance before they burst into the kitchen loudly laughing and talking about who they danced with the night before.
My stepsisters’ entire goal in life is to find a rich man and convince him to marry them.
They frequent galas and country clubs, polo games and charity events, always dressed in designer clothing so they look the part.
It’s not the path I would be taking, but I really do hope they find someone who can make them happy.
Because they don’t seem happy unless they’re chasing a suit or rubbing elbows with the elite.
Gen will be devastated when they marry and move out, but it’s inevitable. Every girl grows up and moves out - whether it’s with a partner or to pursue their own thing, adults need wings.
Except for me.