Chapter 12
Jaylin changed his phone number. In the days that followed it didn’t ring with Brent’s incoming calls, because of course it wouldn’t, his number was different and Brent didn't have it, but he still found himself checking it too often, sure he had missed some sort of message.
He didn’t want to hear from Brent, wished that he never had to deal with the man again, and he couldn’t help jumping every time his phone made a sound. The habit was ingrained within him.
He was grateful that he had taken all the extra shifts at El Guanaco over his spring break.
They gave him something to do with his time that wasn't just stewing and worrying, but he still found himself unsure of what to do during the hours he wasn't working. He was taking up room in Hiro’s home, but he also didn't want to feel like he was a stranger.
He wanted to feel like he fit in the space.
Like he wasn't someone putting Hiro out, for giving him a place to sleep.
He read more, listening to audiobooks Deepak recommended as he walked around the neighborhood and got used to it.
He cleaned what he could in Hiro’s house, straightening up the living room and kitchen, sweeping the floors, vacuuming the rugs.
While Hiro kept his home tidy, Jaylin wanted to help make it nice.
Despite the distractions, the uncertainty of all the change still caught up to him. Hiro found him one evening after arriving home earlier than Jaylin expected while Jaylin was on his knees in the guest bathroom, furiously scrubbing at the tile as tears dripped down his cheeks.
Jaylin didn't want to talk about it. Didn’t want to have to vocalize how tired and frustrated and scared he was about what might happen tomorrow, in a week, in a month.
Hiro hadn’t asked though. All he had done was thank Jaylin for cleaning the bathroom and open his arms, an offering. Jaylin had fallen against Hiro’s chest and Hiro had held him for a while, until the tears had stopped.
So Jaylin found more things to do. He googled recipes and talked to Diego and then bought groceries with some of his tip money, making Hiro dinners to come home to. Hiro’s smile was always a mix of pleased and surprised and grateful.
He thanked Jaylin in ways that felt too heartfelt to be real. Hiro had given Jaylin everything , including the luxury of free time, and Jaylin didn't feel like he was doing enough. Could anything be enough?
Every so often Jaylin got out his sketchbook and colored pencils and doodled here and there.
He tried some figure drawing and some sketches.
He made more comics about The Adventures of Captain Hirohito Miyazaki, Explorer of Deep Space.
He still hadn’t shown them to Hiro yet, but the comic had gained a plot.
The Captain was currently in the middle of a rescue mission.
Kirah was an alien, an outcast, and everyone else had given up on him because he “wasn't worth saving,” but The Captain refused to give up.
Everyone told The Captain that it’d be a hard, thankless job to save Kirah, but The Captain was determined to succeed. He liked Kirah, and he couldn’t just stand by and watch someone struggle.
Jaylin hoped that one day he’d be brave enough to show Hiro the comic. He thought Hiro might like it.
***
“Hey, Hiro?” Jaylin asked tentatively, creeping into the dining room.
Hiro had spent the last several days working on a big case and had it spread out all over the table.
Jaylin hadn't wanted to interrupt him, but it was getting late and he'd been sitting on his news all day and if he didn't tell someone right now he might just burst from holding it inside. “Can I talk to you?”
Hiro looked up at him from where he was bent over pages of paper print outs and smiled. He looked tired though, and Jaylin immediately felt bad about bothering him. “Of course. What's up?”
“It can wait if you're still busy,” Jaylin hurried to say, clutching his phone in his hand.
“I'm never too busy for you,” Hiro said, so easily that Jaylin wanted to melt. “C’mere. Or do you want to move to the living room? Get more comfortable?” He started to get up.
“It's okay,” Jaylin said. “It's not um, anything big. I-I just wanted to, um, tell someone. My news.”
“Good news?” Hiro asked, standing up anyway.
Jaylin looked at the floor, fingers tightening around his phone. He'd played the email out loud three times just to make sure it was real. “Yeah, um. Yeah, good news.”
Hiro brightened and he stopped just in front of Jaylin. “Well hey,” he said gently, picking up on Jaylin's nerves. “I'm all for hearing your good news.”
Jaylin took a breath. He could do this. He wanted to. He wanted to tell Hiro.
Hiro would know some of why it mattered so much.
“I…” Jaylin glanced up at Hiro’s earnest, open expression and made himself keep talking. “I went and got tested a couple of days. Just in case he hadn’t been—just in case. I-I figured that now that I'm not… with him anymore I, you know, I um, I got to… care. About that.”
Hiro touched Jaylin's free hand, curling their fingers together. His voice was quiet when he said, “You said good news?”
“Yeah,” Jaylin said. He licked his lips. “All negative. So there's nothing–nothing left of him on me. I don't…” I don't have to worry anymore.
“I’d say that's great news, not just good,” Hiro said, giving Jaylin's hand a squeeze. “And I'm proud of you for going. Stuff like that can be really hard.”
“Thanks,” Jaylin whispered. “I'm… I'm proud of me too.”
***
A week after spring break was over, Jaylin packed up his stuff after his astronomy lab, opened the door to leave the classroom, and turned right back around to bolt back inside, heart pounding.
He got a couple of looks from his classmates, but Jaylin was too busy getting as far away from the door as possible to care.
It had been two and a half weeks since Jaylin had last spoken to Brent, and Jaylin had almost stopped flinching every time his phone went off.
He’d become lax and lazy and so, so stupid to not keep looking over his shoulder.
Brent knew Jaylin's class schedule. It was only a matter of time before he sent someone to come looking.
He supposed he should consider himself lucky that it was Ernie out there, and not Brent himself.
Either way, Jaylin didn't know what to do.
Panic was overtaking him. Ernie couldn't just drag Jaylin to a waiting car and Jaylin wasn’t about to go quietly even if he tried, but even the thought of Brent trying to get him was enough to make it hard to breathe.
“Mr. West, is there a problem?”
Jaylin’s eyes snapped to Serena, standing a few feet in front of him.
She had been a lot less frosty toward him since Jaylin had aced the midterm.
A part of Jaylin wondered if she’d thought that he was using his dyslexia as an excuse for easier work.
He didn't care–refused to care–but it was nice that she wasn't, like, openly hostile anymore.
Now she actually looked kind of concerned. He must really look like shit.
“I–” Jaylin bit down on the I’m fine. He wasn't, he really wasn’t, and while what he really wanted to do was just hope that Ernie would magically go away so Jaylin could go back to Hiro’s, the latter couldn't happen without the former, and he could absolutely see Ernie waiting around until the lights clicked off, growling under his breath the whole time.
Jaylin needed someone in his corner and Serena was the only one here. She was a good TA, all things considered. Fair. Made sure that it wasn't the same three loudest people getting their questions answered.
His brain scrambled for the fastest explanation that kept the spilling of too many messy secrets and feelings to a minimum. “My…my ex.” He stumbled to say it. “He’s waiting outside, and I don’t—I can’t—”
Serena’s eyes sharpened. “Jaylin, are you in danger?”
Jaylin bit his lip, unable to meet her eyes.
“Alright,” Serena said evenly, pulling out her phone. “I’m calling campus security. What does he look like?”
Jaylin looked at her for a beat too long before he rattled out an approximate description, which Serena repeated to the person on the phone.
She smiled at him after she hung up, even though it was tight.
Kind of like she was trying to comfort him but knew she wasn't the best person for the job.
“Campus security will escort him off the premises and then someone will be returning to walk you to your car.”
“That’s okay,” Jaylin said quickly. He had already caused enough trouble. “I bus home anyway.”
“Is there someone you could call to pick you up?” Serena asked carefully.
Hiro came to mind immediately. But it was ten o’clock on a Wednesday night, and Jaylin had already spent the last week convincing Hiro that he didn’t need to go out of his way to pick Jaylin up from class.
Hiro worked hard and often got home late as it was.
He didn't need to worry about going out again. Jaylin shook his head.
Serena’s lips pursed. “I am offering you a ride home,” she said, and her expression added that while Jaylin could say no, she strongly advised against it.
“I’m staying in Park Heights,” Jaylin said instead of arguing. Park Heights was twenty minutes from campus.
“What a coincidence,” Serena said. “I’m going in exactly that direction.”
***
Serena gave Jaylin her number before she dropped him off, as well as the number to campus security.
Jaylin punched them both into his phone, feeling awkward but oddly grateful.
He thanked her again and got out. The tail end of March meant that there was a bit of a breeze in the air, but it was still comfortable even with how late it was. Peaceful.
He unlocked Hiro’s front door and took off his shoes once inside. Then he headed to the couch to decompress for a minute, slinging his backpack off his shoulder and onto the floor, sighing as he flopped down.