Chapter 12 #2
“Jaylin,” Hiro’s voice came a moment later, sounding pleased but confused. “You’re home early.”
Oh. Yeah. If Jaylin had taken the bus, he still would have been at least twenty minutes out.
The wonders of having a car. He hummed, eyes closed, and felt the couch dip.
Then a warm hand touched his shoulder, and Jaylin immediately leaned forward so Hiro’s arm could drape around his shoulders and pull him in.
He pressed his cheek to Hiro’s chest and sighed out.
Hiro had been touching him more lately. Carefully, as if worried Jaylin might spook, but Jaylin welcomed every offering.
Hiro’s hands on him made something pleasant fizzle down Jaylin’s spine.
Sometimes he’d glance up and just catch Hiro watching him with the softest expression on his face. As if Hiro was the one who couldn’t believe Jaylin was real.
They still hadn’t kissed yet, but Jaylin was pretty sure they both wanted to.
He got the feeling that Hiro was waiting for him to be ready.
Jaylin wasn't exactly sure what he was waiting for, but he appreciated the consideration.
He didn't want to feel like kissing Hiro was taking something else from him.
“You didn’t have to wait up for me,” Jaylin mumbled after a minute. The adrenaline was fading, leaving him exhausted in its wake. He could drift off like this, safe and warm with Hiro’s hand gently stroking his back.
“I wanted to,” Hiro said, like all other times he had said it. And then, softly, “Is everything okay?”
Jaylin kept his eyes shut and exhaled. “He showed up at my class.”
Hiro’s stiffened. “What?” His voice had turned steely.
“Nothing happened,” Jaylin said, reminding himself of that, just as he was assuring Hiro. “And I—it wasn’t even him. He sent his driver. But I don’t think he saw me. I told the TA and she called campus security. Then she, uh, gave me a ride home. That’s why I’m early.”
“I’m glad she was able to help you,” Hiro said after a second. He didn't say, I’m glad you were able to ask for help, but Jaylin heard it anyway. He was trying to get better at it. It was a process.
Jaylin opened his eyes and, after a moment’s hesitation, reached out to take Hiro’s free hand. Initiating the touches he craved was also something he was getting better at. “It was nice to be able to come back here, after,” he said quietly. “Being able to see you.”
Hiro sucked in a breath. “Jaylin.” It was all he said. Just Jaylin’s name, but it sounded like so much more. It sounded like Jaylin was important. That he meant something.
That he meant something to Hiro.
Maybe Jaylin didn't need to wait anymore. Maybe trying to move forward with Hiro wasn't taking something from him at all. Maybe it was giving Hiro something instead. Something Jaylin wanted to give, just because he wanted to.
No expectations. No exchange of goods and services.
Jaylin breathed out, thinking over what he wanted while he was still curled into Hiro. Hiro was always so warm.
His heartbeat was a little quicker than it probably should be.
“Would you want to kiss me?” Jaylin asked quietly, breaking the silence that had settled, comfortable, like a friend. “If I wanted to kiss you?”
Hiro’s heart thudded a little louder under his ear. “Yes.” He didn't hesitate. Didn’t ask why Jaylin was asking either. It was just open admission. “If you wanted it, then…yes. I would.”
Jaylin licked his lips and tilted his head up. “Would you… hold me after?”
“Sweetheart,” Hiro whispered, and Jaylin warmed at the name. “I’d hold you whenever you wanted.”
Jaylin angled a little better and closed the distance.
Hiro kissed him the same way he said Jaylin’s name. Like Jaylin was precious and important. Jaylin used to like a little rougher affection, but he didn't know if he was ready for that again yet. He liked that Hiro treated him gently, how the sweetness sent zings of pleasure fizzing down his spine.
He made a little noise into Hiro’s mouth and Hiro responded by pulling him closer, his big, warm hands pressing into Jaylin’s back.
Holding him, but not gripping too tight.
Jaylin wasn’t trapped there. He could stop whenever he wanted and get space whenever he wanted.
This wasn’t something desperate and wrung out and filled with shame.
Hiro pulled back first, panting just a little, and he rested his forehead against Jaylin’s. On complete impulse Jaylin kissed Hiro’s nose, then immediately felt embarrassed by it, cheeks heating.
Hiro blinked at him, wide-eyed, before his expression settled into one of quiet delight. He nuzzled at Jaylin’s cheek and Jaylin’s breath hitched as Hiro pressed feather-light kisses underneath his ear and along the side of his jaw.
Then Hiro’s hand cupped Jaylin’s chin, and he pressed one last kiss to Jaylin’s mouth. “Not that I want to stop,” he murmured, “but it’s late. And you’ve got an early class tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Jaylin sighed out, knowing Hiro was right. Besides, not only did Jaylin have to get up early, but Hiro did too.
Hiro looked at him, gaze heavy, eyes dark, and kissed Jaylin again, like he couldn't help it. Like he cared for Jaylin that much. “Let me hold you while we sleep?”
Jaylin swallowed. “Please.”