Spoonful

Chapter 13

Jaylin finished The Adventures of Captain Hirohito Miyazaki, Explorer of Deep Space a week after he finished semester finals, because Miguel refused to schedule Jaylin for double-shifts at El Guanaco.

Jaylin had tried to insist that he wasn’t going to do much else with his time, but Carlos had tattled on him about having just finished finals, because “all work and no play made Jaylito a stick in the mud.”

Jaylin was able to talk Miguel into a few extra shifts, but it hadn't come close to filling all his newfound free time. Luckily, Jaylin found it easier this time around. He had people to hang out with and interests to pursue.

One of those involved sitting down with his colored pencils again. It helped that Hiro was at work, because Jaylin could draw out in the open.

By the time the comic was done, it wasn't so little anymore. Jaylin had been working on it on and off for almost four months, and it had gotten a full plotline, conveyed as best as he could with the picture speech/thought bubbles. He had put a lot of effort into making a really nice cover, and even had gone back and redrawn some of the original pages, so that there was a more uniform look from the beginning to the end as he’d gotten better at drawing.

He swore Aditi to secrecy, then drafted her into helping him with figuring out how to make it nice.

Partially because he could count on Aditi to know what to do or to figure out how to do it, partially because she had resources, and partially because his in-person time with Aditi was dwindling—she’d be leaving in August to go to MIT.

Aditi had been loud about the fact that she refused to let that get in the way of spending time with her local friends, and continually reminded Jaylin that her family lived here so she’d be back all the time.

Jaylin wasn’t going to hold his breath, but was also trying to not be obvious with his doubt.

He liked Aditi. He really did hope she’d stay in touch.

In the meantime, he was going to try to spend time with her over the summer.

Aditi read the entire comic, chewing on the tail of her braid while Jaylin sweated and tried to distract himself by playing with his phone. When she was done, she looked at him and adjusted her glasses. “Doesn’t Diego have an aunt or something that works in publishing?”

Jaylin squinted at her. Aditi and Diego had hit it off during the packing-up of Jaylin’s apartment, and had become fast friends. He didn’t know why she was bringing up his aunt though. “I think so? Or she was a family friend? Why?”

“Well she’d probably be able to help you better than I can,” Aditi said. “Unless you want me to go ask Deepak—”

“No Deepak,” Jaylin said quickly. Deepak, he had learned, was terrible at keeping secrets and had no poker face whatsoever. He’d spill to Hiro in thirty seconds flat.

“Didn’t think so,” Aditi said, looking smug. For some reason. “So let’s ask Diego.”

“But why?” Jaylin asked again. “I thought you could just, I don’t know, help me find a place to bind it nicely.”

Aditi crossed her arms and tilted her chin, radiating stubbornness.

“Fine,” Jaylin huffed. “We can ask Diego. But I don’t see why.”

***

Diego read the comic with clear excitement, and his face went through a myriad of complicated expressions as he did so while Jaylin got more and more self-conscious.

He was near the point of snatching the pages back and calling the whole thing off when Aditi, who had been rereading the comic next to Diego, squished into his side, said, “See?”

“Yeah,” Diego said, nodding as he turned another page. “Yeah, wow.”

“What?” Jaylin bit out. “Look, it was just some stupid scribbles, you don’t have to—”

Aditi glared at him. “Don’t call them stupid!”

“Excuse me?” Jaylin asked.

“You heard me,” Aditi sniffed.

Jaylin looked to Diego for help, who scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Okay so, uh, could I maybe like, take a couple pictures to send to Dorit?”

“Why?” Jaylin asked incredulously.

Diego flapped a hand. “I just think it’d be a good idea for her to see them.”

Jaylin sighed as Aditi and Diego pinned him with twin pleading looks. “Fine. But someone tell me why.”

Diego patted Jaylin on the back. “Because this is good stuff,” he said. “I just wanna see what she says.”

***

As it turned out, Diego’s not!Aunt Dorit worked for Scholastic. She was apparently impressed enough by the concept of Jaylin’s comic to ask for more pages. She liked the fact that it wasn't a words-based comic, so readers of all ages and backgrounds and languages could appreciate it.

She wanted Jaylin’s permission to pitch the comic for publication.

Jaylin said thank you very carefully, told her that he was okay with that, sure, he appreciated her time, and hung up the phone.

He wasn't sure if he was excited or about to be sick.

He still hadn’t decided which reaction made the most sense by the time Hiro got home from work.

Jaylin had stress-made a lasagna, so dinner was sorted for whenever they were ready to eat.

He had been getting better at cooking over the last couple of months, and had found he actually liked to do it when he wasn't worrying himself sick over wasting food or money or time.

Hiro beamed at him and came over to press a kiss to Jaylin’s cheek, and they settled on the couch to unwind together. This didn't quite settle Jaylin’s turbulent emotions, but it did warm him down to his toes.

“How’s your day been?” Hiro asked, curling an arm around him.

Jaylin immediately recalled Dorit asking for the name of the comic for her pitch.

He’d panicked and replaced Captain Hirohito Miyazaki with Captain Kuwabara, because he hadn’t felt like proclaiming to the world that the comic pulled from real-world experiences.

“Fine,” he choked out, before he cleared his throat. “What about you? How was your day? You had that networking event today, right?”

Hiro snorted. “If you can call it that. It was less networking with other companies and lawyers and more physicians trying to convince us to not kill ourselves with stress.”

“Um?”

A chuckle this time. “Maybe a little less dramatic than that,” Hiro said. “Mostly we had to sit through lectures about smoking, alcoholism, the need for healthy recreation—all that sort of stuff.”

“Oh.” Jaylin said. “Sounds… interesting?”

“That’s one way to put it,” Hiro said, pressing another kiss to Jaylin’s shoulder. “Mostly boring. The only highlight was that there was a self-defense portion. I guess to teach us practical skills?”

“Oh yeah?” Jaylin asked. “How’d that go?”

Hiro grinned. “Touya was the instructor. So it was kind of fun.”

Jaylin blinked at him. “Touya… your sparring partner?”

“Yep,” Hiro said. “The school he teaches at sometimes sends their instructors out to do self-defense demonstrations, and he just happened to be assigned to our event.”

“Wow,” Jaylin said. “Small world.”

“No kidding.” Hiro tugged just a little, and that was all the invitation Jaylin needed to properly slide into his lap. “I’ll tell you a secret,” he murmured into Jaylin’s ear.

Jaylin couldn’t suppress his shiver. “Yeah?”

“There’s this guy from another firm—we kind of hate each other’s guts, okay?

He’s a jerk and a dirty lawyer, and loves thinking he’s better than everyone else.

And he was posturing, trying to show off—I think maybe because it was obvious Touya and I knew each other—and he tried to fake Touya out with a punch.

” Hiro snickered. “Touya laid him out flat on the mat for it. Cited his reflexes and turned it into part of the lesson. Kingston was so red in the face he was practically purple.”

Kingston. Brent Kingston?

“That’s–” Jaylin sucked in air and tried to be normal. “That’s pretty funny.”

Hiro frowned at him. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Jaylin said automatically. “Just tired.”

“You hung out with Aditi and Diego, right?” Hiro rubbed Jaylin’s back. “I imagine you’re tired.”

Hiro never pushed. He didn't ask nosy questions. He offered his hand to Jaylin over and over again, and Jaylin just wanted to stop being afraid to take it.

He was getting better at it though. Taking baby steps was still moving forward.

“I-I have something I want to tell you,” he heard himself say. Pulled away from Hiro to give himself some distance while he said it. Hiro knew a little bit about… what Jaylin had done to pay for school, but he didn’t know details.

Jaylin wasn’t ready to tell him details. Didn’t think he’d ever be ready to tell anyone exactly what had happened, what he’d subjected himself to, but this… this he wanted to say.

“You can tell me anything,” Hiro said, giving Jaylin his full attention.

Jaylin took a deep breath, but it didn’t help the roiling, anxious feeling that had spun out inside of him. His chest felt tight, like he wasn’t able to get enough air. He didn’t think Hiro would care—everything Hiro had ever done for him had proven that Hiro wouldn’t care. But still, it…

“I-I don’t know for sure if you’re talking about Brent Kingston being the jerk who thinks he’s better than everyone else, but I kind of think you might be, because I know—I know what he’s like,” Jaylin babbled in a rush. “Because he, um. He’s the one who—who I…”

Hiro’s expression was one of dawning horror. Jaylin didn’t know how to feel, in the face of it.

“I’m sorry,” Jaylin whispered, curling in on himself.

“No—” Hiro burst out. He reached out a hand and then pulled it back, and Jaylin ached at the new distance. Hiro didn’t want to touch him now, Jaylin thought miserably. Of course he didn’t.

“No,” Hiro said again, much softer. “Please, no, don’t be sorry, I…”

Jaylin twisted his hands together, staring down at them.

“Brent Kingston?” Hiro asked, sounding pained. “He’s the one you were… with?”

Jaylin bit his lip, nodding.

“Sweetheart—” and the endearment was so far from what Jaylin was expecting that it had him glancing up at Hiro in shock.

Hiro looked both heartbroken and furious. “I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t get you away from him sooner. I’m sorry you had to deal with him for months. Fuck, I can’t even—I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for you.”

Jaylin swallowed. “It wasn’t—I mean he didn’t. He didn’t hit me or anything.”

“That’s not the assurance you think it is,” Hiro said, scowling now. “I'm sorry Touya didn't hit him harder, but it's okay because I’m going to murder him.”

Jaylin laughed weakly. “Please don’t. I wouldn’t be able to represent you in court.”

“I’d represent myself in court,” Hiro said mulishly. “And no jury on earth would convict me.”

“Hiro, I…” Jaylin’s throat tightened. “It wasn’t like I said no. I took his money.”

“Paying you for your time and… company is not the same as paying to hurt you,” Hiro snapped.

“And just because he didn’t hit you doesn’t mean he didn’t hurt you.

I saw the bruises you worked so hard to hide.

I saw the panic attack you had at the thought of spending spring break with him.

You still flinch when your phone goes off.

I—” Hiro cut himself off and sucked in a breath and then slowly let it out.

He sounded a lot calmer when he said, “I know exactly how nasty Brent is when given the slightest bit of power and control. And I know without a shadow of a doubt, because I know him, that he got off by breaking you down.”

Jaylin opened his mouth, but no sound came out. It wasn’t something he could deny. Hiro was right. About everything.

“You didn’t deserve any of that,” Hiro said. He tentatively reached out again, as if unsure it would be welcome, and Jaylin took a shaky breath and met him halfway.

Hiro linked their fingers together, stroking Jaylin’s hand with his thumb. “You didn’t deserve any of it,” Hiro said again. “And I will tell you that as often as you need to hear it.”

“Thank you,” Jaylin said quietly. “For… for everything. I feel like I don’t say that enough.”

“You don’t need to thank me,” Hiro said at once. Softer, he added, “Jaylin, my life is better with you in it.”

Jaylin licked his lips. “I um, I made lasagna. For dinner.”

“My life is also better with your cooking in it,” Hiro said with a smile, gracefully allowing the subject change.

Jaylin smiled hesitantly back. Hiro now knew a little more about Jaylin’s past and he was on Jaylin’s side.

This was okay.

They were okay.