9. Lily
9
LILY
I pulled on a knit skirt and ran a brush through my hair. I had five minutes before I needed to get into the main part of the house so Colin could leave for work. His job had kept him away from me throughout the week—which was good, I rationalized, because we both needed some distance from what happened the previous Saturday.
Sleeping with him had been incredible. I’d shocked myself with my own forwardness when I’d taken charge during our second round of lovemaking. The memory of what I had done made me blush. I’d gone down on him, bringing him right to the edge before he’d flipped me on my back and used his incredible body to please me.
I was happy to be dominated, knowing that I could exert my will over him with a touch of my hand or flick of my tongue and that he’d stop instantly if I said the slightest word. It was gratifying, but it had ended too quickly when his phone rang at four in the morning. There was some kind of emergency at work. He’d left the bed immediately, showered, and been out the door in ten minutes with only a brush of his lips against my cheek. No soft words or promises about what came next.
Because nothing did. I stuffed items I’d want for the outing I had planned with Sofia for that day into a backpack. Colin and I weren’t suited, a fact we both knew. Whatever was between us couldn’t possibly be more than a fling, which was why neither of us had broached the subject in the six days since then. Of course, I’d hardly seen him. He came home for a few hours here and there to get fresh clothes, see Sofia, and take a quick nap before heading back out. In those brief encounters, we’d exchanged not one personal word, making it clear what happened changed nothing about our relationship.
It was easier that way, I concluded as I locked my door. Since I didn’t know how to address the elephant in the room, it was better to avoid it. Colin clearly was. He had another date scheduled for that night, again with someone I knew. I had to admit that stung. Apparently, our night together wasn’t worth even a one-week hiatus from dating. It wasn’t as if I expected him to be exclusive with me—not when we weren’t even dating—but it still hurt a little.
I stopped on the walk, mustering my bravado and reminding myself that Colin and I had no future. He and Sofia deserved someone who would stay and fulfill the role of wife and mother, which would be so much better for both of them than having a nanny in their lives.
When my phone pinged, I dug it from my pocket, using the message as an excuse not to face Colin. He’d be in the kitchen, having breakfast with Sofia before leaving for work. I glanced at the display and read the message from Samantha.
Colin canceled. What’s up with that?
A tingle went through me, but I told myself the canceled date meant nothing. He was probably working or too tired from the incredibly busy week he’d had.
No idea. Sorry.
I sent the message back, feeling a little guilty about my false apology. I wasn’t sorry at all that the date was a no go. I did feel bad that I’d arranged it and talked up Colin’s qualities to Samantha. As jealous as I’d been of her only minutes before, I did consider her a friend, and I didn’t like the thought of her being disappointed. But if Colin had canceled the date because work interfered, then he’d probably make it up to her later. I didn’t bother mentioning that to her, though.
When I pushed open the kitchen door, two sets of eyes turned to me. One dark and excited, the other intense blue and unreadable. I forced a smile and walked to Sofia’s high chair, dropping a kiss on the girl’s head.
“Waffles, yum,” I commented, surprised Colin had taken the time to make them. “Good morning.” I assessed him, noting his casual attire. Jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt. Not what he wore to work. “Are you off today?”
“The project finished up late last night,” he explained.
“Oh,” I said, confused. “So why did you break the date with Samantha? She just texted me.”
“I don’t think it would have worked out.” He took a sip of coffee, watching me over the rim.
“Really? I mean…you seemed perfect for each other. You’re looking for steady and rational, and she practically screams those characteristics. If she ever screams at all, which I’m sure she doesn’t.” Samantha, an ER nurse supervisor, was never ruffled, always perfectly calm and controlled. Screaming as an expression of emotion was not in her makeup. Again, making her the right woman for Colin. “And she plays bridge. Do you know how difficult it is to find anyone under the age of eighty who does that?” I put my hand to my mouth, but it was too late—the words were out. “No offense,” I added.
Colin forked up a piece of waffle and grinned at me, letting me know he wasn’t offended. That was a relief, but it didn’t improve my understanding of what had happened with the date.
“Are you sure?” I asked. “Samantha’s terrific.”
“It’s canceled,” he said with a shrug. “I’m taking a break from dating. Maybe I’ll find some other activities to keep me busy. I could take an art class, for instance.”
Who are you? I wanted to ask. And what have you done with uptight Colin, whose house was white as snow? I looked around his kitchen, and I came to the abrupt realization that it wasn’t so white anymore. Sofia’s artwork was stuck to the refrigerator, and though the space was clean, it was no longer the gleaming, sterile environment it had once been. The other rooms were the same. Little bits of color and clutter had been added, including Sofia’s green handprint on the glass cabinet that held Colin’s beloved cards. It had happened so gradually that I hadn’t really noticed it. But now that I was noticing it, I liked it.
“If you like,” I said.
“Today, though,” he said, “I’d like to spend time with you and Sofia and tag along on this adventure that Sofia’s so excited about.”
“Sure,” I agreed, wondering why he didn’t simply dismiss me for the day. I had set up the activity and looked forward to it, but I’d give it up if he asked. “We better get you cleaned up and dressed.” I lifted Sofia from the high chair.
“I can do it,” he said, reaching for his daughter at the same time. We bumped together, front to front, before I took a quick step back. That brief contact had me thinking thoughts I shouldn’t, not in the kitchen with his toddler daughter present—and not at all, if I were being practical. Getting involved with a man who ultimately didn’t want me wasn’t smart.
“Sofia wants to wear something special,” I explained. “Let me.”
Upstairs, I dressed Sofia in a princess costume that must have been left over from the previous Halloween. Despite it being a size too small, Sofia could still squeeze into it. I twisted the girl’s thick hair into a bun and added a tiny bit of lip gloss.
“Gorgeous,” I declared. “Let’s find your daddy and go.”
We spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon in a children’s story center in a neighboring town. Sofia skipped ahead of us, exploring the large space that allowed children to interact with their favorite books. In one area, Sofia followed a path through a forest complete with trees, flowers, and caves. In another, she waved from the tower of a storybook castle. Her favorite room turned out to be a giant library, reminiscent of the one in Beauty and the Beast .
Later, we grabbed some takeout and headed for a park to have an impromptu picnic and enjoy the beautiful weather. After Sofia ate, she begged her daddy for a game of chase while I stayed on the bench and watched them. Sofia laughed and ran, keeping just ahead of Colin, who was moving in exaggerated slow motion to let her stay ahead of him. After several minutes of chasing, he reached out and almost “caught” Sofia, only to stumble and fall dramatically to the ground when he missed. Sofia squealed with delight, dancing around his fallen form until he snatched her, taking her to the grass and tickling her.
I laughed at the antics of the big, handsome man, still built like a SEAL, and his precious daughter. I had to admit that he wormed his way into my heart at moments like this. And other ones. His love for his daughter was so sweet. No one could witness that, as I had, living in the household, and not realize how big his heart was. I felt a pang. Colin and Sofia deserved someone who would stay with them forever and complete the picture of the perfect family he seemed to want so much.
I sighed, happy he’d canceled the date that night. He’d date again, though, and he should, I told myself. He deserved the happiness that a good relationship could bring. I waved when they looked in my direction, feeling a tug at my heart for both father and daughter.
Colin
I scooped Sofia up in my arms and rested her on my shoulders as we walked back to Lily. Sofia loved to ride up there, since my height gave her a bird’s-eye view. She clapped her hands and squealed when I ran a few steps, bouncing her. She would sleep soundly that night, which was a good thing since I had plans for the night involving her nanny.
Despite work consuming almost every waking minute for the past week, I’d stolen time to think about Lily, about our night together. It had been damn near perfect, and I’d regretted the phone call that abruptly ended it. Maybe it had been for the best, though. I didn’t know what I would have said to this woman who had captured both my daughter’s heart and my interest so easily. The week had given me time to consider the possibility of us as a couple.
She wasn’t on board with the idea of a relationship. I knew that. But what we had was too special to ignore. For once in my life, I was just going to wait and see, let things play out without trying to plan and control everything to a T. It was risky, but I had a feeling that it would be worth it, because something magical had happened when we came together—something I’d never experienced before.
“Time to go home?” I asked when I approached the bench where she waited. Late-day golden sunlight outlined the contours of her face, and I had the overwhelming urge to kiss her. I wondered for a second if Sofia would mind. I didn’t think so, since she was as enamored with her nanny as I was—though in a very different way.
“Let me clean up.” Lily stood and gathered up our containers and bags.
As she tidied the area where we’d eaten, I felt a twitch of warning. Something was off. I tightened my hold on Sofia’s legs and scanned our surroundings. Kids playing, parents watching them, joggers and cyclists going past. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until my eyes fell on a man standing on the edge of the parking lot. Recognition hit me. It was the guy I’d seen at Lily’s apartment building the day I’d helped her move out—the one who hadn’t looked familiar to me.
The man was openly staring at Lily, following her every move as she walked to a nearby trash can and returned. Had they had a relationship? Was that why the man was devouring her with his eyes? I tamped down on the jealous anger I felt and went to my training to guide my reaction.
I looked beyond the man to the parking area. A gray Camry with tinted windows sat parked on the edge of the lot, very likely the same vehicle that had taken the slow drives past my house twice—that I knew of. Had there been other times when I hadn’t been watching? My skin prickled with a warning, and I swung Sofia to the ground, preparing to take action if necessary.
“This can’t be happening,” Lily muttered, her gaze focused on the man, a visible shiver going through her body.
“My truck, now,” I said in a low voice, letting Lily take Sofia. I kept an arm around Lily and sheltered her and my daughter with my body as we hustled to the truck. I stood guard while Lily strapped Sofia in and climbed in herself.
A moment later we were headed out of the parking area. I kept my eyes on the rearview mirror and intentionally turned onto a busy road instead of taking the scenic but isolated way home I usually preferred.
“You know him,” I said quietly after we’d driven a few miles.
“Yes.” Her voice was faint, and she’d turned several times in her seat to look behind us.
“He’s not following,” I said to reassure her. “Later, after Sofia’s gone to bed, I want you to tell me everything you know about him.” She wasn’t yet three, but I didn’t want her picking up on the sense of danger I felt.
Lily nodded and spent the rest of the trip pointing things out and chatting to entertain Sofia. When we arrived home, I did a sweep of the house and yard, but I saw nothing to worry me. Still, I couldn’t shake my unease. Maybe the conversation with Lily would help me. After we settled Sofia into bed, I stayed a minute longer in her room to make sure she was asleep before going into the hall where Lily was pacing.
“Come with me,” I said, catching her hand and leading her to my bedroom.
“I don’t think…” She hesitated at the threshold, but I pulled her along and settled her in the upholstered chair by the window. I sat on the ottoman, facing her, and got straight to the point.
“The man at the park today lived in your building?”
She sighed. “Yes. His name’s John Stout, although I usually think of him as ‘creepy guy.’”
I didn’t want to believe that she’d gone out with a man she referred to in that way, but I had to ask. “Did you date him?”
“No.” Her fingers dug into the arms of the chair. “He asked, but I told him no.” The same shiver I’d seen earlier went through her. The guy had done more than ask.
“He harassed you?”
“Yeah. It actually got worse after I turned him down. He was always wherever I was—at the coffee shop down the block or the grocery store. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even come over or talk to me. He’d just stand there staring, like he did today. Like he wanted to make me uneasy.” She shook her head. “If that was what he was going for, it worked. Since his apartment was directly across the hall from mine, I couldn’t come or go without him knowing. It got so that sometimes, I was afraid to go outside. I tried to time my entrances and exits around when he wasn’t home, or when there were other people in the hall, but I couldn’t always manage it. That’s why I was so glad to move in here and get away from him. I hadn’t seen him since, so I assumed he’d given up, but now I don’t know. Do you think it was a coincidence that he was in the park?”
No, I wanted to answer. Instead, I put my hands over hers while I debated whether to tell her about the slow passes by my house. The car matched the description, but I couldn’t say for certain it was this Stout guy. Every instinct I possessed said it was, but there was no point in frightening Lily until I was certain.
“Oh my God.” Her eyes went wide. “Do you think the footprints in the backyard could belong to him? Does he know where I am now? How could…what about Sofia? I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her because of my problems.” She jumped to her feet as if to bolt from the room. I rose and pulled her into a hug before she could. As I kissed her hair, I decided not to add to her worries by telling her about the car. I’d investigate some more before doing that—and increase my vigilance at home.
“I’ll protect you and Sofia if it comes to that.” I lifted her chin. “I promise.” I rested my forehead against hers, glad to have her in my arms again. Gradually, her body softened and relaxed.
“I don’t want to be alone tonight,” she said, tilting her head so she could meet my eyes.
“I don’t want you to be alone.” We exchanged a long, charged look. “You’ll have to stay close to me.”
She pressed herself against me, her arms going around my middle. “Is this good?”
It was amazing. I could feel every curve of her body and her warm breath on my neck. But I wanted more. I wanted what I’d had a week ago with her. “Closer. Skin to skin.”
“I want that, too,” she whispered.
I took her lips and began a kiss that rocked me to my core. I liked that she wasn’t shy about sex. If anything, she was adventurous—and it was amazing.
“Bed,” I growled when she bit my shoulder lightly. Both our shirts had hit the floor, along with the skirt she’d worn, leaving her in a bra and panties. Black with little pink hearts, completely sexy and unforgettable.
“Make me,” she countered and whooped when I lifted her off her feet. She clamped her hand over her mouth, and we both listened for Sofia. Seconds ticked away, but no sound came from her room. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I said as I took her down to the mattress with me. Throughout the week, I’d thought about all the ways I could make love to her. It had turned into a long list, and I planned to check at least a few items off tonight. “I like this.” I ran a hand over the satin of her bra. “Did you wear it for me?”
“I didn’t think…I didn’t know we’d end up…” She trailed off when I kissed along the lace trim of the cup.
She’d doubted we’d go to bed again. I hadn’t. Not for one second. It had only been a matter of when. I slid a hand behind her to unclasp the bra before removing her panties. Something primal in me loved having her naked and beneath me. I rested on my forearms, my body inches above hers, just enjoying the moment.
“What are you thinking?” She tapped a finger to my lips.
“How much I want you,” I answered honestly.
“I think the question is…” She ran her hands down my chest. “ How do you want me?”
“Every way I can have you. And then all over again.”
She laughed. “Well, before any of that can happen, your jeans have to go.” Her fingers were on the buttons of my Levi’s, slowly undoing each one. I closed my eyes, savoring the sensation of being undressed by her, of feeling the brush of her hand on my dick.
“Jesus,” I muttered when she finally stroked me, her fingers expertly traveling from my balls to the sensitive tip and back down. I could have stayed like that forever, but I wanted to please her.
“Hey,” she complained when I left her to strip off my pants. I was gone just long enough to remove my clothes and grab a condom.
“I want to taste you,” I said, coming back over her. A flare of interest showed in her eyes. No shyness, no reluctance. That was such a turn-on. I kissed her lips before making my way slowly down her body. I gave each breast attention, arousing the nipples, and dipped my tongue into her navel before parting her thighs and finding the sensitive nub at her center. I slid my hands under her butt, opening her more to my attention. She tasted sweet and hot as I sucked her clit. She moaned, and her fists balled in the sheets. I broke off and kissed the insides of her thighs, not letting her orgasm yet.
“Please,” she whispered.
“You want more?” I was willing to oblige her every wish.
“I want to be on top.” Her eyes were on me as I kissed my way over her flat stomach, her nipples, and the curve where her shoulder met her neck.
“Okay.” I rolled us over, letting her straddle me and loving every second of it. She rocked back, taking my dick in her mouth in one quick, wet thrust before putting the condom on me. Once that was done, she lowered herself onto me, coming forward so her breasts dragged against my chest. Nothing had ever felt so good as when she squeezed her inner muscles and tightened around me.
“Is this all right?” she teased, giving my neck a little nip.
I grasped her butt with my hands, guiding the rhythm as much as I could. I pushed deeper into her, enjoying her gasp. While I took her mouth with mine, we pounded together until I felt her spasm around me as she came. I was right behind her. With one last thrust, I reached my orgasm. And damn if I didn’t see stars for a moment.
She collapsed onto my chest, breathing heavily, our bodies still joined.
Exactly how I wanted them to be.