17. Lettie
Lettie
T urning off the steaming water, I stepped out of the shower and toweled off.
Despite the scorching water, I still felt cold.
My skin wasn’t cold to the touch, but I felt it in my bones.
I didn’t have to look in the mirror to know my complexion was dull and my lips were still drained of color.
Usually, I could go a few days without my supplements and be fine, but with all of the excitement, I got ahead of myself.
I was embarrassed, even though I shouldn’t be.
Bailey probably thought I was the same helpless little girl, not being able to take care of myself.
Having lived with this condition for the better part of my life, you’d think I’d have this down pat, but I didn’t.
I hated it, and sometimes, I let that hate get the best of me and would purposefully not take my prescription; just to see if it had magically gone away.
I should know by now that it didn’t. I should also know that it wasn’t the smartest way to go about being anemic, but like most things in life, I didn’t like to be bound by rules.
My family knew this about me. Reed even blamed my growing up around Brandy, as if that was the reason I rebelled against this diagnosis every so often.
Unlocking the bathroom door, I headed into our empty room. I heard Bailey when he left, but I was too humiliated to respond to him. He had to practically hold me up when the wave crashed into me as I was about to get in the truck. If that didn’t raise alarm bells, I didn’t know what did.
I left Bell Buckle to get out from underneath everyone’s overbearing umbrella. I was barely back a week and already showing that there was every reason for them to worry.
Bailey was never the overcrowding type, which I was thankful for, but I hoped he didn’t tell my brothers about what happened.
I knew he cared about me, and if he did tell them, I knew it’d be coming from the kindest parts of his heart.
How could I hold that against him if he did?
My loathing of everyone close to me caring about me was a problem, but growing up, it got to the point that I couldn’t even muck a stall without someone around the corner listening for me.
I rarely had alone time because of it. After so many years of dealing with it, I started to detest their worry for me.
I should appreciate them looking out for me, but instead, I tried to push everyone away.
For five years, it worked. But now that I was back, I could see how moving away wasn’t the best course of action.
I grabbed my shorts and oversized shirt from my duffel bag, slipping them on and crawling under the covers. Clicking on the TV, I flipped through the channels until I settled on a home renovation show.
The next episode had just started when the door opened. Rouge ran over to the bed after Bailey unhooked his leash, immediately welcoming me with a lick to my cheek before circling twice to lay at my side. I draped my arm over him, scratching his shoulder as he rested his snout on my stomach.
Bailey rummaged through a plastic bag before walking over to my nightstand, setting a water and bottle of pills down. Without a word, he went back to the desk, working to untie the knot on another bag.
I sat up, leaning my back against the headboard.
Rouge moved his head to my thigh, letting out a sigh as he got settled again.
I reached for the bottle, shaking out two iron pills before uncapping the water and swallowing them.
I held the water in between my thighs, watching Bailey pull two containers out of the bag.
The TV was the only sound in the room as he set the containers in the middle of my bed and sat next to me, kicking off his boots before crossing his legs.
He reached over to open my to-go box, a steak, mashed potatoes, and a side of green beans on display.
All of those were rich in iron.
He opened his to reveal the same meal, then laid a knife and fork next to my box before cutting into his steak .
“It’s rare, just how you like it.” He gestured to my steak with his knife before taking a bite of his own.
I looked at him as he chewed. Once he swallowed his bite, he met my gaze.
“Thank you,” I said.
He nodded before turning back to his dinner, acting interested in the show as he ate.
We didn’t talk as we ate, the TV blasting commercials every few minutes.
Once we were both finished, he grabbed the boxes, discarding them in the trash before pulling off his jeans and shirt, leaving him in boxers as he crawled into his own bed.
I’d seen him in boxers before when we’d go swimming on a whim in the creeks and lakes.
It was nothing new, but I averted my eyes anyway.
Something about being in this hotel room felt more intimate than all those times in nature.
Taking that as his sign that he wanted to sleep, I clicked off the bedside lamp before turning the TV down to the point it was barely audible.
I liked sleeping with the TV on. Brandy always hated that when we had sleepovers growing up.
More times than not, I’d wake up to her sleeping in a different room.
Rouge moved to the end of my bed as I got myself situated, laying on my side facing toward Bailey, bringing the comforter up to my neck. Through the dim light of the TV, I could see his eyes on me from where he was laying on his side.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I said quietly.
“I did.”
I paused, then asked, “Why?”
“Because I care about you,” he said matter-of-fact, and while I already knew he did, it felt like it was the first time that it held any weight, and that weight didn’t scare me. Not this time. Not when it came from Bailey.
Sometime later, sleep claimed me and I dreamt of what the last five years would have looked like if I had stayed in Bell Buckle instead of running from the man that my heart never stopped beating for.