CHAPTER FOUR
David: I need a couple of days.
Me: For what?
David: Just to sort things out. Ok?
Me: We always said we’d face things together.
David: Ev, I can’t. I need the space to fix things on my own this time.
Me: I don’t even know what to say. Ok I guess. You’re not giving me any other options.
Me: I don’t like it, but if that’s what you need.
David: Thank you. I love you.
Me: I love you too.
I sat at the table with the baby monitor, staring into space.
How many different ways could your heart break?
That was the question. It felt like mine had been entrusted to the wrong person suddenly.
David and I had always had each other’s backs.
We’d always done our best to be there for each other and now…
he wasn’t coming home. Not yet at least. Maybe not ever.
And I hated not knowing as much as I hated him not being here.
Head in my hands, I sat and cried.
The call came from the front desk just after two the next afternoon. “Mrs. Ferris? A Jude Darcy is here to see you. She says she was sent by Mr. Ferris.”
“Um, all right. Send her up,” I said. “Thank you.”
A young blonde woman was standing at my door a couple of minutes later. She had blunt edgy bangs and a nose piercing. “Mrs. Ferris. Hello. It’s lovely to meet you.”
“Hi,” I said, bewildered. “My husband sent you?”
“Yes. I met with him and his associates this morning. And it was agreed that so long as you’re happy with the arrangements, I was to start work immediately.”
She was smiling at me, so I smiled at her and… “Huh?”
Her smile dimmed. “Ah, I’m your new housekeeper slash nanny. If you’ll have me. I have a printout of my resume for you in my handbag. And of course I’ve already signed an N.D.A. and so on.”
“You’re my new housekeeper slash nanny?” I stared off at nothing. “Wow.”
The woman held a small bundle of papers in her hands. “They didn’t tell you?”
“Not a word.”
“Okay. What’s the best way to handle this…
let me think.” She took a deep breath. “Hi, my name is Jude Darcy. I’m twenty-five years old.
Born and bred in this fair city. I’ve worked for the last two years for a well-known family down in Los Angeles.
So I’m familiar with dealing with celebrities and fans and security and so on.
I have references, and you’re very welcome to give them a call and check for yourself. ”
“Did my husband already do that?”
“No. A person by the name of Martha, I believe.”
“And she was happy with you?” My eyebrows rose. “You must be good. Okay. Carry on.”
“Can I ask a question?”
“Go ahead.”
“Do I really have to become proficient on the drums as part of this position? I’m pretty sure that was a joke, but I just want to make sure.”
“Malcolm Ericson was at your interview.”
“Yes.”
I nodded. “No, you wouldn’t have to learn the drums.”
“And the speaking fluent Greek and fire twirling…”
“Likewise, unnecessary.”
“Got it,” she said. “Phew.”
“Come on in, Jude. Let’s talk.”
“Let me first ask: Are you open to having someone help out?” She gave me a small smile. “If not, I don’t want to waste your time. I realize this has been sprung on you.”
“It sure has.” I took a moment and thought it over.
I should probably be furious that all of this was organized behind my back.
But honestly, why bother? Who had the energy?
When (not if) David came home, we weren’t going to suddenly magically start coping.
Stress was a big problem. For him and me. We could afford the help, so why not?
I wouldn’t be less of a woman or mother or whatever because someone was picking up the slack in the condo and helping with the baby.
If she was the right person to let into our home.
It was a risk. She was pretty, if not beautiful, and much more pleasant to be around right now than me.
I mean, she actually had the energy to wear makeup and coordinate outfits.
Even if that outfit was just jeans and a button-down shirt. And I bet her boobs didn’t leak.
But I trusted David. He regularly travelled without me and had women throwing themselves at him. And we wouldn’t know if having her around would help unless we tried. “The fact is, I think we could really use some assistance.”
The woman beamed. “Great.”
Me: House Keeper/Nanny?
David: What do you think?
Me: We should have discussed it first. But I like her and it is a good idea.
David: Good. We were lucky to get her. One of the bodyguards met her on a job and was impressed. She was thinking of taking a position in France.
Me: How’d you talk her into it?
David: Left it up to Martha and Jimmy.
Me: And money?
David: There was a healthy signing bonus.
Me: When are you coming home?
David: Soon. Just give me another day or so. I promise I’m working on things.
Me: Like what? I need more than that. Please. We’re feeling pretty damn abandoned here.
David: I know and I’m sorry. My head isn’t where it should be. I’m going to fix it and get back to you as soon as I can.
Me: You’re talking to someone?
David: Yes. I’m getting help.
Me: Ok
Me: Any ideas for our son’s name yet?
David: No. Is he ok?
Me: Yeah he’s good. He misses you.
David: I love you.
Me: I love you too.
I first realized I was low key in love with Jude Darcy the next day.
She was folding laundry with the baby lying on a rug nearby.
Jude was quietly singing Nine to Five by Dolly Parton, and the scent of something delicious filled the air.
The condo didn’t look like a bomb had hit it.
What a miracle. The woman was magic. We had someone in to clean the condo once a week.
But you could amass a lot of mess in that time.
“You’ve been cooking?” I asked.
She smiled. “Just chicken pot pie and a garden salad. Nothing fancy.”
“Yum. I’ll take it.” At the sound of my voice, the baby started fussing and sucking on his little fist. “You’re hungry too, huh?”
“He seems pretty chill, as far as babies go.”
“You think so?” I picked him up and settled us in an armchair for feeding time.
Along with my bottle of water and cell. Being able to hydrate and having something to do if he decided to mess around and take all day were both necessary for my sanity.
I smoothed back his tuft of dark hair. His skin was so soft and had that baby smell. My beautiful little boy.
Jude kept folding the laundry.
“Does it bother you, handling our underwear?” I asked. “I hadn’t thought about it before, but if you’re not comfortable–”
“It’s fine,” she said. “At one job, I had to iron everything. His boxers and her briefs and the bed sheets and you name it. So just folding and putting everything away is easy.”
“You had to iron their underwear? Now that’s high maintenance.”
“I shouldn’t be gossiping.”
“No names have been mentioned.”
“Nor will they be. I do know how to keep my mouth shut, I promise.”
I smiled.
Of course, it was a concern. The media was always open to new, scandalous tales about us.
Me and my surprise baby gave them enough to talk about for the time being, thank you very much.
But Martha wouldn’t have let Jude into our home if she wasn’t certain of her discretion.
Martha was David’s first girlfriend way back when.
Then she’d been the band’s assistant for several years.
Now she successfully managed a couple of up and coming rock acts.
She was also Ben the bass player’s sister.
And the woman was a barracuda when it came to protecting those she considered family.
We mostly got along. It kind of depended on how hardcore her mood was at the time.
However, I definitely trusted her when it came to something like this.
I’m sure she vetted Jude to heck and back.
It was nice not to have to worry about it, honestly.
If it had been up to me to pick someone to come into our home and help, I’d have been a mess of nerves.
There wasn’t room in my brain to deal with anything extra these days.
Let alone decide on someone who would have access to my child.
I was grateful David and everyone stepped in and found me an angel.
I ran a finger back and forth over the back of his little fingers as he drank his dinner.
It both was and wasn’t weird to not have David here.
He often travelled with the band, so not having him here wasn’t unusual.
But it was like a dark storm cloud hanging over me and our son.
The knowledge that things had gone so badly that he had to step back from our life together.
Though he hadn’t stepped back, exactly. Actually, I wasn’t quite sure what he was doing.
But everything felt sad and edgy and just generally off. Which sucked.
David came home the next afternoon. Keys in hand, black jeans and Henley on, he stood near the entry. “Okay if I come in?”
My breath caught in my throat as I stared at him.
Talk about a sight for sore eyes. And a sore heart.
The organ currently felt like it was trying to beat itself right out of my chest. I honestly didn’t know whether to hug him or slap him.
I’d missed him so much, but his being gone had been hell.
The last few days had been some of the worst of my life.
And his eyes were wounded, his face leaner and starker somehow.
As if this time had aged us both. I curled my hands into fists and kept them at my side.
We needed to talk. That’s what had to come first.
“Of course you can come in,” I said.
Jude had left for the day, and the baby was sleeping. I’d made myself a cup of decaf coffee and decided to sit and chill on the sofa.