15—Little Rock （Larinda’s Bus）
“I’m going to kill him. I will,” I hiss as soon as Nash, Paige, and I escape into the hall.
“Figuratively!” Paige clarifies for whichever government agency might be listening. Seriously. Does everyone operate under the assumption the universe is run by spies? How did I not know this?
“Jarvis is an ass, and we will take him down, but we have to be smart about it,” Nash says. “He’s too powerful and connected to act rashly.”
“I know, but… ah!”
“Hey.” Paige grabs my arm and pulls me around. “We’re going to solve this, little bro, but we have to do it right.”
I release a heavy breath and manage to rein in the rest of my anger… until I see my sister’s smile.
“What?” I snap. “What could possibly be funny about this?”
“Nothing,” she says, still smiling.
“There’s obviously something.”
“I’ve just never seen you like this.”
“Like what?”
“Worked up. You’re the most chill person I know.”
“She’s right, actually,” Nash says. “What’s up with you? I get that Jarvis has a master’s degree in aggravating people but that’s nothing new.”
“Nothing’s up. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I double my pace through the corridor toward the back lot.
“Now he’s running. I’ve never seen him run,” Paige says from behind me.
I fire an irritated look back at her, and she returns a grin that only sisters seem to have.
Paige and Nash wisely remain silent for the rest of the journey to the parking lot.
“Oh shit,” Nash says as we approach Larinda’s bus. “It’s locked. We’ll need the…” He goes quiet as I punch in the code for the door. “Wow, I guess not. She gave you the code, dude? Damn.”
Nash slaps my arm, and I do an excellent job of ignoring him as I climb onto the bus and drop to my favorite spot in the lounge.
“Look how he just makes himself at home. How many hours you spend here, baby bro?” Paige teases.
You know what would be awesome? If they stopped talking.
I throw my arm over my face to block them out.
“Dang. This is incredible,” Paige says, eyes wide as she scans the space. “It’s practically a luxury hotel suite. Is this like the bus you were on when you worked for Abram?” she asks Nash.
He snorts a laugh. “I was on the crew bus, babe. No.”
“Fine. Well, maybe now that you’re a huge rockstar, you’d get a bus like this.”
“I’m not a huge rockstar, and I don’t tour.”
“When you become one and start touring.”
“I may never be and I may never tour.”
“Yes you will. Do you want to tour?”
“I don’t know. Not really.”
I’m just glad they don’t need me for any of this.
“Okay, little bro, now spill.”
Crap.
I lower my arm to find two expectant stares waiting for the wealth of information I’ve gathered since the last time we spoke. Other than discovering Arkansas’ woeful lack of octopi and the favorite songs of four strangers, I don’t have any updates.
“Nothing new to report.”
“Seriously? Come on. We know that’s not true,” Paige says.
“Fine. I guess the fact that I made Larinda hate me like you told me to is an update.”
“Hmm. Is that what we said?” Paige asks, tilting her head.
So maybe that was a tad passive-aggressive. Let’s hope they don’t read too much into it.
“Wait…” Nash says, eyes narrowing on me. “You didn’t… Oh shit, you fell for her, didn’t you?”
I concentrate on the ceiling again. It is a nice ceiling. Paige is right to be impressed.
“Val! What did I tell you?!” Nash groans.
“Not to fall for her.”
“Exactly! This…” He runs a hand over his face.
“Relax, babe,” Paige says. “It’s not like he can help how he feels.”
“Yeah, but… this is bad, dude. Real bad. You can’t tell her, okay?”
I scrunch the side of my face and shrug.
“You told her,” Nash mutters.
“I mean… technically, she told me first. We were even a secret couple for a day before I blew everything up this afternoon.”
“What?!” Paige and Nash screech in unison. Is that a couples thing? Fun. There’s so much for Larinda and me to look forward to.
“Yeah, so, the ‘crush’ is sort of a bit more,” I say.
Their shocked, slightly horrified expressions tell me this situation is as bad as I feared. Might be worse, actually.
“She’s engaged!” Paige informs me.
“Yeah. I’m aware.”
“To someone else!”
“Also aware.”
“You’re her producer, dude,” Nash says.
“Am I? Wait. Knew that too.”
So glad they’re here to help.
“Shit, shit, shit…” Nash mumbles, locking his fingers on his head.
My sister has been stunned into wordlessness, which in my experience, is a very hard thing to do.
“Who else knows about this?” Nash asks.
“No one. You shouldn’t even know, I just have no clue how to fix this situation without your help, and I don’t know how you can help if you aren’t aware of that tiny hiccup.”
“Tiny hiccup?!” Paige cries. “Seriously, Val. What are you thinking? You can’t have a secret relationship with an engaged superstar!”
“You already know the engagement isn’t real,” I say.
“Yes, but she doesn’t!”
“Actually, she does, just not for the right reason.”
“Fine, then the rest of the world doesn’t,” Paige snaps.
That part is true.
“This is a disaster waiting to happen, man,” Nash says. “Like, it honestly couldn’t get much worse for you.”
I grunt and stretch out on the couch. “Hey, I have an idea. How about we skip to the part where I called you because I already knew this crap?”
Nash throws up his hands but calms down after a few more seconds of aggressive pacing. “Fine. What about Jarvis? What does he know about you and Larinda?”
“Not much,” I say.
“From what I saw, that hostility was personal. He must at least suspect you have feelings for her.”
“Okay, yeah. So, that.”
“Val!” Paige cries.
“What? Fine. He probably more than suspects it. He’s done everything he can to make my life miserable since we rolled out.”
“Dude, Jarvis is the last person you want to go head-to-head with,” Nash says. “He’s a huge name with limitless resources.”
“He’s got Sandeke Telecom backing him, for heaven’s sake!” Paige adds.
“Yep.”
“He has a million reasons to want to crush you,” Nash says. “And a million ways to do it.”
Guess we’re back to listing things I already know. Definitely not telling them I can recite the capitals of every country in Europe. We’ll be here all day.
“I understand all of this, believe me. The question is, what do we do about it?”
They exchange a look.
“No effing clue, dude,” Nash says, shaking his head.
“Great. Well, this has been productive.” I push up from the couch. “Want anything to drink?”
They’re silent as I help myself to a bottle of water from the fridge.
“No, thanks,” Paige mumbles in her capitulation voice, so yay for that. “You think Larinda would mind if I look around?”
“Not at all. Just don’t move anything.”
“Of course not.”
Paige takes off to explore, which feels like a win until it leaves me alone with Nash. Does he have a capitulation voice? Let’s hope so.
“Look, man. I get it. I do. I saw the chemistry you two had since day one, but, dude. This is bigger than some fling. You understand that, right? Even if you find a way out of this Jarvis engagement mess, what’s your future? I love Larinda. You know that, but that woman goes through boyfriends like her flavored almonds. I don’t doubt she has a crush on you, but that shit means something different to people at her level than people like us.”
I lower my gaze, my heart crumbling into my stomach like the world’s worst almond flavor.
“Believe me, I know all that as well,” I mutter. “I’m nobody and she’s…”
“Hey, that’s not what I’m saying. You’re a great guy. If anyone deserves someone like Larinda it’s you. It’s just, she lives in a different world. I’m not saying she’s lying to you about her feelings. I’m sure she’s being sincere. I just don’t want to see you hurt.”
Way too late for that.
“I know, okay? Honestly, you’re probably right. She’ll get sick of me and?—”
“Um, guys?” Paige calls from another room. “You should see this.”
“See what?” I shout back.
“It’s in Larinda’s room. You told me not to touch anything, so you need to come look.”
“In her room? No way. I’m not invading her privacy.”
Paige pops her head through the open door. “Normally, I’d totally agree with you, but she gave us permission to be here and this is extenuating circumstances.”
I glance at Nash, who shrugs. “You know your sister. If she’s willing to break a rule, it must really need to be broken.”
That comment earns a glare from his girlfriend, but he’s not wrong.
None of that prevents it from feeling wrong as I drag my feet toward Larinda’s bedroom. There better be a global crisis that needs our league of useless superheroes to justify this invasion. When Paige waves me toward a notebook on her bed, I spin back to the door.
“Nope.”
“Just look at it,” she says.
“Not a chance. There’s no way I’m reading her private thoughts.”
“They’re to you.”
I freeze and turn back slowly. “What? They’re about me?”
“Not about you. To you. It’s a letter. Think about it. She sent us to her bus. She had to know you might see it. Even if she didn’t, she clearly intends to give this to you soon.”
I’m totally confused, but my feet must not be as they move me toward the sacred object on the bed. My heart pounds as I scan the beautiful handwriting I’ve come to adore. God, I’d even miss her handwriting if we parted ways.
The entire right page is covered in text, and I can tell it continues on. This note is either really, really good or really, really bad. I’m still not sure if I should read this, but there’s no way I can’t now.
Val,
I don’t know where to begin. I wanted to say this in person but I was afraid it wouldn’t come out right and I’d forget something. You’re very distracting. Did you know that? It’s your eyes or something. They’re too pretty. Your smile too. Also your hair. See? It even happens on paper.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about what you said today in the green room. It gutted me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized none of it made sense. You don’t care about money or fame or any of that stuff.None of your reasoning was consistent with everything I know and love about you.
That’s right. I said it. The things I LOVE about you. So many things, because I am so completely in love with you and I think it’s been developing for a very long time. I won’t even say you’re everything I’ve always wanted, because I never dreamed there could be someone like you. You’re kind and genuine and so incredibly talented. You make me laugh and see me better than I see myself in a lot of ways. I love who I am and who I’m becoming with you. You make me brave enough to be myself instead of who I’m supposed to be. I don’t just want you, I need you, and if it ruins my career, so what? You’re my muse. You’re the piece that was missing in my music, so there’s no point in continuing without you. Now that I know what our music can be together, I can’t go back to letting it be less. What’s more, I can’t go back to accepting less for myself and my heart.
I love you, Perceval Andrews. I want to be with you and I will do whatever I have to do to convince you of that. I don’t know why you tried to break things off between us, but I know it wasn’t for a selfish reason. You don’t have a selfish bone in your body. If I had to guess, it’s because you’re trying to protect me from something. You can tell me what that is, or don’t, but it makes no difference. I’m ending things with Jarvis once and for all, regardless of the consequences. If you don’t feel the same, I won’t tell the world who my heart really belongs to, but that won’t stop it from being yours.
I will always love you.
I will always fight for you.
And I’m willing to wait.
Yours always,
Larinda