Chapter Twelve
Elle might think I haven’t noticed, but I damn sure have. It’s like pure muscle memory, feeling the way she reacts to me. The shiver when I touched her back did not go unnoticed at all. I don’t think it’s even that she is cold because I’m sweating my balls off. The sun may be getting lower, but the residual heat is lingering. No, that was all about how I touched her. And I like it.
Jared is behind her to my right, and he winks. He didn’t miss it either. He nods encouragingly. He wants me to pile the pressure on, seduce her to get her to agree to stay. But the more I think about that, the more I know it isn’t a good idea.
Because if she does stay and I’ve made my intention on that level, then what does that mean going forward if she is here six months out of the year? If I need to back out of it, how do I do it? Do I want to do it, or do I want… something?
Problem is, I don’t fucking know. So I push it out of my mind.
It doesn’t help that she gets tipsy as we sample the different whiskeys on offer, or when Dawn and Tom arrive, and Elle completely relaxes and the wall she has had around her since she got back to Mystic starts to slip .
It’s a good thing and I silently send up thanks to Dawn for making Elle feel so at ease here. Even though Dawn isn’t able to drink, she’s still the life and soul of our little group. Jared disappeared a while ago to find Terri, his wife, but Denny is still here.
“Haven’t forgotten our deal,” Denny shouts across the table to me. I scowl at him.
“What deal?”
I pass my scowl Dawn’s way. She has bat hearing. It’s loud here, and she is on the other side of the table from Denny, but she heard that.
“That I get to drive his car, it was supposed to be today, but he conveniently kept forgetting to call me back, or pick up even.”
“You’re letting him drive the Mustang?” Tom’s eyes widen comically.
“You still have the Mustang?” Elle asks.
“Of course,” I say, like that is the craziest question ever.
“Only he’s trying to renege on our deal.” Denny points his whiskey glass at me. He’s more than halfway shot. Mom will kill him when she sees him, then me for letting it happen. She forgets he is over twenty-one and I’m not his damn keeper. “I did the shift. Now he’s gotta pay up.”
“Shift?” Dawn asks. “What shift?”
“Doesn’t matter.” I sip my coke. I’d stopped drinking whiskey about two glasses ago. I glance down at Jedi. He’s gnawing on a bone and seems happy enough, but he’s been out for a while.
“I had to go out on the boat, and I got seasick and everything, but everyone was funny and they made me laugh, except Charlie. He is a miserable bastard. But I did it because I love him and because he promised I could drive the car. I hate doing it, but he needed a favor cos they changed his stupid appointment about the old man’s will and he couldn’t go otherwise.”
I closed my eyes, turning my head away. But I feel her eyes boring into me .
“Hah,” Dawn laughs. “You can’t take it back if he went out on the water at four AM Ben, you’ll go way down in my estimation if you do.”
“I’m heartbroken,” I tell her.
She slips back into conversation with Elle while I glare at my brother, but he’s too drunk to realize I’m pissed at him for that. It’s not my intention to make Elle feel guilty. I guess it could be a good thing that Elle knows the lengths I’m willing to go over the business.
She knows what that car means to me. She was there when I bought it and started restoring it. For me to allow my youngest brother to drive it, she knows it had to have been something drastic that made me make that deal.
“So, were you drunk or something when you made that deal?” Tom grins at me.
“Or something.” I lean forward on my elbows. “I was desperate. Little shit knew it.”
“That’s what brothers are for,” he nods.
Tom has two of his own, and three sisters. Big families are a thing around here. I glance at Elle as I think that, seeing Dawn about ready to pop out her third kid with Tom, what amusement I had been feeling fades away.
I will never forget what she went through after Darren killed himself. And then her mom, too. Half of her family was gone within the space of four months. I’d always thought she was so strong to go on the way she did. She never gave up, despite her losses and what she rightly perceived as her father’s ignorance of her existence. Elle was a fighter. She still is. She isn’t going to be a pushover.
When I realized she was thinking about foregoing her dream of going to college and becoming a writer, for me, I’d near enough lost my mind. I couldn’t be the person who held her back. So I helped give her the shove. Just a little. I made her think that life with me here would be nothing like she thought. We weren’t going to be a happy family. We were going to be like hers. Me out fishing, her waiting for me to come home. I played into that a little too much. For her. So she could go out there and fly.
Trouble with that plan was, I’d always thought she would come back. Even when we didn’t speak once she was gone. In the back of my mind, I figured she would realize what I did, and it would all work out. But she never came back.
And then I heard she got married. And that shit killed me.
Ironic that I’m now trying to do whatever I can to get her to stay. Or at least be around for six out of twelve months.
The next hour consists of everyone getting a little drunker, my brother dancing around the table like an asshole and Dawn looking dead on her feet. Tom and I conclude it’s time for them to go at the same time. Dawn pouts a little, but she knows when she’s beat.
They offer to take Denny home, as my parents’ house is on the way. I happily jump on that. I could do without dealing with my drunk off his ass little brother. Especially if mom sees me delivering him home that way. Mom still sees Denny as her baby and, God forbid, any of us do anything to corrupt him.
If she knew some of the things that little punk had got up to, she’d lose her shit. Denny firmly has our mom wrapped around his finger.
Elle finds herself alone with me and Jedi after we’ve all said goodbye. Her cheeks are rosy and if I was the kind of guy who thought shit like this, I’d say there was a twinkle in her eye. I inwardly applaud myself. She has had fun tonight. Whether it’s down to me, or down to my family and friends, it doesn’t matter. The fact is, she enjoyed herself. Which is what I set out to do tonight.
“So Dawn told me Mystic Dead are closing out the night,” Elle says.
“They are,” I nod. They usually do. “You wanna go watch them?”
She nods. “Will Jedi be okay? ”
“He’s fine, loving life. Let’s go.”
We leave the table and head over to the main stage where the band is already playing the final set of the evening. The crowd is huge around them. They’re always a good draw. People are dancing and singing. I glance at Elle, who is practically bouncing on her feet, her arms swinging.
She’s had a fair bit to drink, but the Elle I knew when we were kids loved music and dancing and that was coming back out now. We stop on the periphery of the crowd, and I make sure Jedi isn’t going to get stepped on, then look over the crowds.
Elle is outright dancing beside me and I watch her, not realizing there is a small smile on my face till she looks over and sees me, her face flushing as she covers her eyes as though embarrassed.
“Don’t hide,” I shout over the sound of a Grateful Dead cover as the band begins to play, taking her hand and pulling it away. I’m about to let go when she pulls me nearer and I look at her in surprise. “You want me to dance?” I laugh.
“I know how much you love it,” she teases me. I hate to dance.
“I have the dog,” I protest.
“He can join in.” she takes the leash from me, Jedi wags his tail and hops around, like he is dancing. The little traitor. “Come on, Ben, relax, have fun.”
“I know how to have fun,” I tell her. “Dancing isn’t it?”
She doesn’t give in though and pulls my arm up to the sky with hers, and she starts to sing along with the band. She brings the hand holding the leash down onto my upper arm and we end up facing each other. Before I know it, we’re full-on dancing and laughing.
When she stumbles over a bottle someone has dropped, I grab her around the waist to steady her. She smells like vanilla and peaches. There is a thin sheen of perspiration on her skin and her eyes are bright with the joy of just being here.
Fucking hell. She’s beautiful .
I blink out of the trance and see her staring at me. She visibly shakes her head. “I think I need to sit down,” she gives me a small smile.
“Sure,” I say. We head away from the crowd and find a spot on a low wall where we’re still close, but it’s a little less busy. “This okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just hot, and I’ve had a bit too much to drink.”
“Don’t get out like this much?”
“Not usually, although a few weeks ago, I was at a BreakNeck concert in London, backstage. Practically danced the whole night away."
“BreakNeck? No shit. How’d you manage that?”
“My literary agent. She got us backstage.”
I nod, impressed. But it’s just another reminder that she lives in a different world. I stroke my dog’s head as he lays down between us.
“It might sound glamorous, but that trip was the first time I’ve ever left the country,” she says, leaning back so her hands are behind her, propping her up. She looks up at the sky. “I got to see so many amazing places. I didn’t even intend to do it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Despite what people might think, I’m still…”
“Still what?” I shift, so I’m facing her more.
“Scared? I mean, like sometimes I wonder why anyone would want to come and queue up to see me. It’s like imposter syndrome.”
“Seriously?” I pull a face. “You don’t think you deserve your success?”
“Not that I don’t deserve it. I mean, why would anyone want to get my autograph? I just write books. Then there is the fear of no one turning up.”
“And did people turn up?”
“A lot,” she laughs, and I can see the pride in her face.
“So, what’s the problem? ”
She laughs. “No problem, now . I’ve done it and I loved it and seeing how much joy my books bring to people changed something in me. I can’t even put it into words, Ben.”
“I’m glad you’re happy, Elle.”
“Took some getting there, but I am.”
“There have been some rough times?”
She rolls her eyes. “Come on, I know dad told you I got married, and divorced. It’s okay though, we’re still friends.”
“You and your ex?” Don’t believe that for a second. Who are friends with someone they divorced?
“We were always better as friends. Don’t get me wrong, we loved each other, but he wasn’t…” she tilts her head and looks at the sky, suddenly at a loss for words.
I find myself staring at her profile, waiting for her to finish that sentence. He wasn’t what?
She clears her throat. “We’re better off. He’s in a relationship with a great woman and he’s happy.”
Don’t know what the fuck possesses me, but I ask. “What about you, Elle? Are you happy?”
“Of course,” she looks at me, sitting up and dusting her hands off. She doesn’t sound as if she fully believes it, though. “I need to call an Uber,” she says and gets to her feet, startling Jedi who jumps up and barks.
I settle the dog, surprised by the sudden change in her. But like fuck, I’m letting her call a cab. “I’ll take you home.” I look up at her.
“Oh… But you’ve been drinking,” she does a cute little hiccup and curls her lips in together, putting her fingers against her mouth.
“I stopped drinking a couple of hours ago. I’ve eaten my weight in seafood since. I’m good. Promise.”
“But my hotel is only over there,” she waves her arm in no discernible direction. I already know she’s at the Hyatt. It’s actually close to my place .
“Elle, it’s fine, I’m gonna see you home.”
She looks at Jedi, who looks back up at her. “Oh we kept you out late huh,” she scrubs his cheeks with both hands and Jedi’s tail thumps. Shit, this dog is getting way too much attention.
She eventually relents, so we head to my truck. Jedi jumps in the back and curls up straight away on his blanket. Elle puts her hands over her chest and makes an aww sound as she slips into the passenger seat and pulls on her seatbelt.
“So, I never actually said congratulations,” I say.
“For what?” she asks, perplexed by my comment.
“The award, the New York Times Bestseller List.”
“You heard about that?”
“We have the internet here, remember?”
“Oh, come on,” she slaps my thigh and I try not to let that make me feel anything. “Stop trying to make out like I think Mystic is a backwood hillbilly town.”
“Don’t you?”
“Of course not.” She gives me a cheeky look. “You have more than one Starbucks. That makes it a metropolis.”
I burst out laughing and she grins back at me. Even in the dark of the cab, I can see the outline of every part of her beautiful face. I draw my eyes from her and back to the road before I drive us into a ditch. I have to stop crossing the line in my own damn head. When we pull up to the Hyatt, Jedi wakes with a snort and steps up, putting his nose between the seats.
“He thinks we’re home,” I tell Elle when he starts licking her cheek, making her squeal and giggle.
“You should get him back,” she tells me, putting a hand to his face, to stop him from licking her face.
“I’ll just see you in first,” I tell her. “Jedi, down,” I instruct the dog. He doesn’t immediately move, but when I give him a stern look, he drops back. I get out of the truck and walk around to Elle as she hops out and slams the door. “You good?” I ask as she wobbles slightly .
“I’m fine, just a little tipsy,” she grins at me. “I had a good time, Ben. Thank you for inviting me.”
“No problem,” we head towards the main entrance to the hotel. “I said you’d have a good time. Mystic never lets me down. You got your key?”
She roots around in her bag and pulls out a key card and raises it with a triumphant smile.
“Are you gonna be okay getting up to your room?”
“I think I can manage,” she laughs, but her hand comes up and she pats my chest.
“Good to know,” I decide to give her something to think about. “Better get some shut eye. I’ll be back for you at eight AM on the dot.”
“Excuse me, what?” She tilts her head slightly.
“Part two of our falling for Mystic adventure. Dress warm, plenty of layers and sensible shoes.”
“Ben, I am not going anywhere at eight in the morning. I’m halfway to drunk. I’ll need at least twelve hours of sleep to be able to function tomorrow, never mind,” she squints at her watch. “Six.”
“I’ll bring you an extra-large coffee. Now go, get yourself into bed and set an alarm. Actually, give me your phone.”
“No,” she twists away from me.
“Elle, pass me your phone. I don’t trust you.”
“You’re insane.”
I take the phone when she hands it to me. I find her alarm app and set it for seven fifteen. See, I do have a small portion of heart. I could set it for six AM. I hand the phone back to her.
“Don’t leave me out here waiting. You won’t like what I’ll do if that happens.” I start walking backwards to my truck.
“What does that mean?” she half yells after me.
“It means if I have to come up to your room to get you, whatever state you’re in is the way we’re leaving. Hungover or not, in your pj’s or… not. I’ll throw your ass over my shoulder and carry you out of there in front of everyone.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
“You’re still insufferable.”
“It’s my middle name. See you at eight.”