Chapter Thirteen
I had to applaud myself for being exactly where he said I had to be. At the right time. The look of surprise on his face seeing me standing outside the hotel entrance at stupid o’clock in the morning. I won’t lie. I feel like crap. I drank two cups of coffee, a bottle of water, took painkillers, and am wearing sunglasses.
Ben grins when he pulls up beside me and I open the door to his truck. I get in and glance at the two huge takeout cups in the centre console.
“For me?”
“Figured you might need it,” he waggles his brows.
“Why do you look fresh as a daisy,” I grouse.
“Years of getting up before the sun,” he shouts.
I put a hand to my temple and Ssh him. He just laughs, the ass. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” he says with a smirk.
I’m too hungover and too tired to care. And it isn’t just the drink making me tired. I’d tossed and turned for ages last night, thinking about him. How he looked at me when we danced, how he seemed to really care when we were talking .
I hadn’t missed how his expression darkened when I brought up Adrian. I gave myself a pep talk about letting memories fill my head, both old and new.
Ben doesn’t make small talk, so I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. I’m jolting awake when he pulls to a stop, a little more abruptly than would have usually been necessary.
“Wakey, wakey,” he claps his hands together. “Time to go.”
I push my sunglasses up and look through the windshield. I see the river. And boats. To the left of the parking lot is the office for George’s. They have not replaced the old sign in god knows how long. My mouth drops open as I watch Ben go around the truck. He is getting something out of the back. I half stumble out of the truck and turn to find him with a large cooler in his hands. He winks as he passes me, indicating with his head for me to follow.
“Fishing? You’re taking me fishing?”
“It’s another Mystic staple.”
“I never went fishing once when I lived here.”
“So then you should enjoy this new and exciting experience. Let’s go.”
He walks off in the dock's direction where there were about thirty boats lined up. I already know which one belongs to George’s. I pause when my eyes move over the back end of the boat. Where it used to say ‘Miranda,’ my mother’s name, it now says ‘Second Wind.’ I’m not sure if I’m relieved about that or sad.
I try not to think about her too much, remembering what an amazing mom she was to me, until Darren. I shake out of that memory. It’s just a boat.
Ben doesn’t comment on the change of name, so neither do I. Pulling my coat tighter around me, I follow him down the jetty. He steps onto the boat with ease and sets the cooler down, then turns and holds out a hand to me. I pause and look out at the water. It’s cold, but it’s calm and I know within a couple of hours, when the sun rises, it will get warmer, but I’m already imagining how my stomach is going to react once we’re out there.
“Come on, don’t flake on me now.”
“Not sure how that can happen when I didn’t even know where we were going,” I grumble.
“It’ll be fun.” He shakes his hand for me to take it. So I do. “You remember how to start her up?” he asks as he hops back off so he can untie the lines.
Surprisingly, I do. Guess you can’t have a fisherman as a father and not spend some time out on the water. Dad taught Darren and me how to drive a boat. He tosses me the keys from his pockets, then goes back to his work.
Already my stomach is protesting as the boat bobs up and down. He’s waiting for me to say I don’t want to do this. I won’t give him the satisfaction. Even if I felt I might hurl at any moment.
Ben doesn’t say much more as he does his last checks, takes over, and guides the boat out into the open water. I take a seat beside him at the controls and do my best impression of a non-hung-over person, grateful for the third coffee of the day, all before nine AM.
He keeps casting looks my way, but I only indulge myself watching him when I’m sure he’s occupied with the controls or the water. He’s standing at the wheel, his thick arms holding the boat steady, guiding her through the water. He has on a hoody with his jeans and boots. He’d been wearing a cap when he came to collect me, but it is gone now, so his hair is blowing about in the breeze.
I try not to let him catch me studying him, looking at all the ways he’s changed since we were teenagers and madly in love. I conclude he has only gotten better with age and my lady parts are far too interested for their own damn good.
When he reaches a point on the water that makes him happy, he drops the anchor, then gets everything ready for us to fish. I wrinkle my nose as he hooks the lines with live bait, and he laughs when he tries to get me to do it, but I squeal and slap his hand away from me. He drops the worm and I jump back in horror as it wiggles across the floor. He rolls his eyes.
“I don’t know how to do it,” I say when he pulls me over to the boat’s edge.
“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you,” he says.
And he does, getting up close and personal and making my blood pressure rise every time he pushes up against me. No matter how innocent. I get the hang of it after a while though, my father’s daughter, it seems. After an hour of trying, I get a bite.
“Holy shit!” I exclaim as Ben reaches out and pulls the line in with the enormous fish attached.
“He’s a big one,” he laughs.
“Oh my God,” I put a hand to my face as he unhooks the fish and holds it up. It’s wriggling in his hands, its little mouth opening and closing as it gulps in the air. “Throw it back!” I yell.
“What?” he looks up at me with an incredulous laugh.
“Put him back. He’s going to die.” I know I sound like an idiot, but I didn’t come out here to murder innocent fish. Even if it is his livelihood and he doesn’t see them the same way I do.
“You don’t want me to cook your catch for you later?” He’s holding the poor thing in front of him.
“God no.”
“Elle, since you got back, do you know how many fish you’ve eaten?”
“Please, look at him,” I say desperately.
“You’re serious?” he shakes his head when he sees I’m not messing around. He walks to the edge of the boat and tosses the fish back in. “You were happy when you caught him,” he tells me.
“Well, yeah but, that doesn’t mean I want to kill him and eat him. And yes, I know it’s irrational. Sue me.” He just stands there looking at me like I’m nuts. “Besides, what makes you think I’ll be having dinner with you tonight?” I cross my arms.
“Because I’m in charge of your plans for the rest of the weekend, remember? ”
I roll my eyes and turn to get a drink out of the cooler just as the boat rocks, making me lose my feet, I stumble forward, pushing my hands out to break the fall I’m about to have, but Ben is there in a split second, his strong arms come around me, stopping me from face planting the bottom of the boat. I glance up to thank him, because that could have been a total disaster, but the words die in my throat.
Ben is staring at me again, but it’s different from before. He isn’t looking at me like he thinks I’m insane. There is something much hotter in this look. His hands tighten around my waist. As my hair blows across my face, he releases one hand and reaches up to move it back, his eyes never leaving mine. I should pull away. This is a complication neither of us need, but… I don’t want him to let go.
My lips part, but I’m not sure what words are about to fall out of my mouth. His eyes drop to my lips, his grip on my waist tightens. I barely breathe when the hand holding my hair back traces over my cheek bone, his thumb moving like a feather over my lower lip.
“Shit,” he whispers and steps back.
I feel the loss, like something has ripped out of me.
“Why do you look like you wished I hadn’t pulled away?” he asks me.
His fists clench, and he looks as if he is vibrating out of his skin. I don’t dare look away from him. My head is still warring with me. This is all kinds of wrong. Ben is trying to convince me to stay in Mystic and follow my father’s insane demands.
He could be doing this with that agenda. But if that is the case, why did he pull back? I don’t think Ben would use me like that. He shakes his head as if pulling himself back to reality and the moment is going to be lost.
It's been so damn long since someone looked at me like this. I’ve been allowing my head to fill with thoughts of Ben since I got back here. It isn’t about reminiscing about the past that is behind us and has such bittersweet memories. This is about now.
I can’t deny I’m attracted to him, or that I’ve spent every waking hour thinking about him in some way. Mostly about our problem, but then my mind always goes back to other things.
He's been kind, helpful, trying to figure things out when he could have been a complete asshole. These things swirl through my head as I take a step up to him. He holds his ground, his brow puckering slightly as he studies me. God, if he pulls away again, I’m going to be so embarrassed. It will complicate everything but damn, just for once, can’t I do something for myself... No matter how this plays out and what decision I come to, being with Ben likely won’t be an option long term, but hell, I need him. I know in my heart this is the only chance we’ll get.
The question is, do I want to take it?
I put a hand on his chest and step closer. He doesn’t take those piercing eyes off me, but they’re darkening. His heart is pounding against my hand on his chest. Still, he waits. He wants me to make the first move. Screw it.
When I press my lips against his, his hand clamps on my waist again. His lips are gentle, yielding as I taste them for the first time in fifteen years. His beard tickles, but I find it doesn’t bother me. It’s different. His chest is firmer and more muscular, everything about him is different, but better. Then he takes control, he pulls me into him and his mouth parts for me.
I clutch his shirt, my elbows tucked in tight as his arms go around me, holding me tightly against him. His tongue enters my mouth, and my knees weaken. Ben always was the best kisser, but this… I’m melting. One of his hands leaves my waist, and he cups the side of my face and angles is slightly, his hand lowering down my throat, holding me in place as he devours my mouth. He quite literally takes the breath from my body.
We falter as a wave bumps the boat, but Ben plants his feet wider and holds me closer, so I don’t fall. The move has me unable to get away from the obvious hardening of his dick against my thighs. I can’t stop the moan that escapes me and that spurs him on even more. He pulls back, not for long though as he turns me, pushing me back against the glass door that leads to the inside of the boat.
I clutch at his arms as he grabs my ass with one hand, trailing it down my thigh and lifting it so my leg wraps around his hip. He’s thrusting himself against me as we kiss harder. I curse my jeans, and his as I writhe on him, desperate for more. He is too, because his hand cups my breast and I gasp into his mouth. He pulls back and looks at me, his gaze intense and lust filled eyes. He hasn’t let go of my breast or my ass. I grab his collar and pull him back. He has no choice but to kiss me again.
Then the loud blast of a horn has me jumping, and Ben pulls back and turns to see a boat coming alongside ours. I can hear the music now and laughter. I was so lost in the kiss, I didn’t even notice this obnoxious party boat approaching.
“Jesus,” Ben groans, and let’s go of me, my leg dropping back down.
“Who is that?”
“Day Away,” he says with a heavy sigh as he releases me. A man is leaning against the railing, grinning at us. He taps the peak of his cap before turning back to the group of men on the boat with him, all of whom just witnessed what we were doing are laughing and hollering.
I duck inside and put a hand against my chest, trying to slow my heart and avoid the knowing stares of those men. I watch as their boat passes. It’s much bigger than Ben’s, probably cost a couple of hundred grand. It has two decks, and their fishing equipment at the back of the boat is top of the line.
I turn my attention to Ben, who has his hands on his hips, watching the boat as it overtakes us and continues on. There is a scowl on his face and once they are far enough away, he shakes his head and lets it drop forward. I step back onto the deck and look between him and the Day Away boat .
When he turns round, all the lust is gone from his expression. In fact, he looks downright thunderous. It is the way the asshole helming that boat gave him a condescending and smug grin.
Okay, I hate them too. And not just for interrupting us when things were getting good.
“That’s who you’re competing with?” I ask, stepping up beside him as he bends down to put the lid back on the cooler that held our food and water. Even that seems inferior. I’d noticed the spread of food at the seating area on their deck.
“Yeah.” Ben moves past me, making sure the fishing lines are pulled back and secured. He glances at me, then heads back inside to the controls. “If you don’t want to catch anything, I’ll take you back.”
“We don’t have to.”
His look tells me there is no changing his mind. The mood is well and truly gone. So we’re not even going to talk about what we just did? I frown, but he pulls up the anchor and faces forward again. The Day Away boat is still very much visible given its sheer size. I sit down as he steers us back around and we head back to the docks, quiet the whole way.
After he ties us up and helps me off the boat, he looks at me and heaves out a heavy breath. “That guy,” he says, indicating with a nod back out to the water. “He pretends to be friendly, but he’s a sleazy fucker who constantly tells me how much better things will be out here if we just sell to him.”
“I’m sorry,” is all I can think to say.
“What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault. It’s not even your fault your dad has left a clause saying we need to do exactly that.”
Ben grabs the cooler and turns, but he waits for me. I reluctantly follow him. I can see the Day Away offices, like the boat, they’re huge and ostentatious. George’s looks like a shack in comparison, but I know they’re doing a really good business and are highly thought of in Mystic. He secures the cooler in his trunk again and leans his shoulder against it as I approach .
“My parents are having a cookout. I was gonna take you, but I understand if you don’t want to.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to?” I ask, getting annoyed with how he is acting. He just shrugs. “Did you tell them I’m coming?” I cross my arms. He nods but says nothing. “Then that is where we’re going.” I climb into the truck without another word.
He takes a few minutes, but eventually he gets in the truck, too. I glance over at him.
As we pull away, he sighs and looks over at me. “Sorry, the guy just rubs me up the wrong way.”
“So I saw,” I say with a shrug. “Why do you let him?”
“Because he’s a prick and takes great pleasure in winding me up.”
“Ignore him.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“Easy to do,” I point out. “Ever think he keeps it up because he knows it gets a rise out of you?”
Ben scowls again and looks back through the windshield. Today has taken a turn. I didn’t see coming and I’m wondering if it’s a bad idea to go to his parents’ house. It will be nice to see them again, but Ben is a completely different person now and I’m not sure that is something I want to be around.
I get it though. That guy was an asshole and that boat… Shit, it looked so ridiculous out on the river. We’ve never had anything that big and gaudy out on the Mystic before. I can see why he’s pissed, but he doesn’t need to turn that on me.
“I’m not pissed because of what he did,” He speaks, as though he read my mind. “I’m pissed at what he saw,” Ben says, as we turn onto the block where he grew up.
I look at him in surprise. He looks pointedly at my mouth. “Oh,” I say, realization dawning.
“Yeah,” He grimaces. “No one gets to see you like that.”
“It’s not like we were undressed. ”
“Don’t care,” he snaps. “I wouldn’t have done it if I knew we’d have an audience. You don’t deserve to be stared at like that. And I know exactly what those assholes on that boat would have been thinking. I don’t want them thinking of you like that.”
“Ben, I’m not worried. I don’t care what they think.”
“Well, I do.”
He gets out of the truck and I huff, but actually, when I think about it, he’s pissed on my behalf. It’s kind of sweet, actually. He pulls my door open, surprising me again. He reaches for my hand, and I take it, getting out of the truck.
“Let’s just forget I acted like a dick, okay?”
“Forget you acted like a dick? Is that all?”
He stares at me, and I stare back. Something flares between us and his hand trails up my arm.
“Ben?”
We break our intense stare and I look up at the house. Ben’s mom is standing there, watching us. And just like that, the spell breaks.
Again.
And I’m not sure how I feel about that. Though disappointment is at the top of the list right now.