Chapter Twenty-One
After taking a couple of deep inhales, I turn and look at Ben. It is so odd he is standing here, in my living room. In New York. I can’t believe he is here. When I opened the door and saw him standing there, my heart leapt into my throat, and I barely got his name to fall from my lips. At first, I didn’t even see Jenna standing beside him.
I’d been expecting her. But not him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, still rooted to the spot.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“Not to me.” I cross my arms over my chest.
I hope I know the reason. My stomach is fluttering so badly as I wait for him to tell me. He wouldn’t have come all the way here to tell me something bad, or that will upset me. Right? I watch him as he looks around, taking in my apartment. It is so different from anything in Mystic. You only need to look out of the window and see we’re in a different world.
I drink him in as he looks around, in his rough and worn jeans and scuffed boots, the band t-shirt, his mussy hair and rough beard. Adrian wore jeans around the house, but they never looked so casual as Ben’s. My ex-husband is good looking, tall and toned, but Ben is something different. He is the embodiment of sex on legs, with his broad shoulders, narrow waist and built arms.
My heart beats a little faster as he turns his gaze back on me, his eyes so dark and penetrating, like he’s looking straight inside of me.
“You left.”
I bite my bottom lip but don’t draw my gaze from his eyes.
“You didn’t speak to me, didn’t call, didn’t listen.”
I resist the urge to wring my hands together. All words have flown from my brain. Despite the look on his face, the straightforward tone of his voice, I see the hurt there.
“What was the plan? Just come back to Mystic when your contract dictated, pop in to see how business is going?” He’s about to say something more but stops himself, running a hand through his hair. “Shit, I don’t know what I thought I was gonna say to you when I got here, but it wasn’t this.”
“You drove here?”
“Yeah,” he looks at me like that was the weirdest question.
“Where is your truck?”
Ben scratches the back of his head. “In a garage about two blocks away. Is that important?”
“You used a parking garage, Ben. That will cost a fortune. I have a parking space downstairs.”
Now he is looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. “I’m supposed to know that… how?”
“We should go move it,” I decide and grab my apartment key and a denim jacket from the closet in the front hall. The space just got a lot smaller, and the air might help allow me to breathe.
“Elle,” Ben steps forward and lightly takes my wrist before I can put the jacket on. “I can afford to pay for a parking garage for the night.”
“You’re staying the night?” I ask, not thinking before I open my mouth .
“If you insist,” he smirks. “It’s been a long drive. You got anything to drink in this fancy ass apartment?”
“Don’t make fun of my home.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. I mean, I could stare at that for hours.” He points to an Angelika Millmaker painting on the wall. He tilts his head. “Trying to figure out what it is.”
“It’s a painting of a garden.”
“Is the artist five? Or does she need to fire her gardener?”
“You’re perpetuating the small-town hick persona.” I give him a smirk back and head to the kitchen.
After a few moments, he follows. My kitchen is a long, narrow galley style with units both top and bottom on either side of the space. Adrian always liked clean white modern décor, but I’ve brightened the place up with colourful containers, flowers, and other decorative pieces.
I pick up the kettle and fill it with water, then turn to set it on the stove to boil. Ben is leaning against the archway into the kitchen. There are no doors on either end of the long open room, so light from the windows fills the space.
I get out some mugs and set them on the counter, feeling his eyes on me. The silence is growing uncomfortable. One of us is going to have to address this issue. I turn to face him.
“I’d already decided I was going to sign, then I found out that Claudia had a son. Darren’s son.”
“I heard,” he says, and my eyes widen, but I guess once a few people heard about it, it would spread like wildfire. “It must have been a shock.”
“A good one,” I smile. “He looks just like him. Claudia brought him here a few days ago, we talked. He’s going to college here, so he’ll be near. I’ll be able to get to know him better.”
Ben takes a small step closer.
“So, although finding out about him made my decision easier, it didn’t hinge on that. Because he’ll be here, not in Mystic. It’s ironic when you think about it. ”
Another step, but he still hasn’t spoken.
“And I missed it. You were right. I missed that stupid town, my friends, the ice cream,” I add on, because the ice cream is to die for.
One more step and he is almost in front of me. “What else?” he asks, his voice husky.
I tilt my head back. He’s so tall, his face is a work of art, even behind that beard. I can’t read his expression, but I see the question in his eyes, along with the words that just left his mouth. He takes a final step, his eyes never leaving mine, and he’s now standing right in front of me.
When he sets one hand on the counter to my side, I swallow and stare at the collar of his t-shirt.
“Elle?” he repeats.
“Why did you come here?” I ask.
“Because you asked me to.”
I did, didn’t I? I asked him to step out of his comfort zone and come to New York. To see it from my perspective, just to get a feel for what this would mean for me. And he’s here. Ben brings his hand up to my face, cupping my cheek gently in his large, callused fingers. His palm is warm and I can’t resist turning my face into it.
“But I left.”
“You had your reasons. Good ones. My brother is a dickhead.”
I laugh and he brings his other hand onto the counter, trapping me in.
“He wants to apologize, by the way, but I’m all for making him sweat, for being such a damn idiot.”
“You’re cruel,” I say.
“He nearly ruined this.”
I hold my breath as he looks at me. “Ruined what?”
“Us.”
He says it so simply, like its fact. I’m not sure how this is even happening right now. A week, I’d been back in Mystic, a week and he got under my skin, and it looked as If I was under his too. I didn’t dare want to put the truth of it into words.
I’m scared. Afraid to let my heart go again. To this man who broke it, no matter how unintentionally when we were kids.
But in the week I’ve been around him, I came alive. I don’t want for much in my life but since Adrian left, I was lonely. There was always something missing.
Ben’s thumb rubs across my lower lip, and I lose the ability to breathe. “Elle?”
“Hmm,” I manage to make that sound.
“I didn’t just come here to apologize for my brother.”
“Okay.”
The hand on my cheek shifts and moves into the back of my hair. I don’t have a chance to speak again as his mouth crashes against mine. His tongue parts my lips and delves inside, the kiss deepening in seconds. My legs almost give way and I raise my hands, grabbing onto the shirt at his waist. Using his leg, he nudges my knees apart and slots himself in between them as he tilts my head and kisses me even deeper. I could drown under this man’s lips.
His fingertips dance over my jaw, over my collarbone, and out to the straps of the dress on my shoulders. He pushes them aside and lowers his mouth to kiss my shoulder. This dress has built in cups. There is no need for a bra, a fact he learns when he pushes the dress. His eyes drop and he curses on a hiss.
“I shouldn’t have let you go.”
I stare into his eyes as my hands find their way beneath the hem of his t-shirt, my fingers making contact with the heated warmth of his skin.
“Either time.”
His mouth falls on mine again and I melt into him. Hearing him say that does all kinds of things to my heart. He hooks my dress up, gathering the voluminous skirts in his palms, then his hands go around my waist and he lifts me up onto the counter .
The marble is cold against my ass and the backs of my thighs, and I suck in a breath, but it does nothing to quell the heat burning inside of me as Ben drops to his knees and grabs my underwear, deftly removing it in one quick pull. He tosses it over his shoulder, his face full of lust as he spreads my legs.
I can do nothing but watch and cry out as he lowers his head and, with a soft growl, laps his tongue in a long stroke all the way up to my clit, which he lightly takes in between his lips and flicks.
“Holy shit.” I let my head fall back, and it bangs against the cupboard behind me. Ben looks up.
“You okay?” he asks, his brows lifting.
“Fine, yes. Don’t stop,” I tell him.
He grins, then lowers his head again. I push against him and his tongue alternates between teasing my clit to lapping up and down. He is so good at this. I don’t think anyone has ever brought me to the edge this quickly before. But as the telltale fluttering and tightening takes over, he stops.
My eyes open in dazed surprise. He’s taking off his t-shirt, unveiling that impressive chest with the fine layer of hair that I want to run my fingertips over and follow all the way down into his jeans. Ben doesn’t waste any time unhooking the button and lowering the zipper on his jeans, but not before he grabs something from the pocket. He kicks off his boots and socks and steps out of the jeans, handing the condom to me.
The kettle on the stove whistles, and we both jump. He grins and turns it off, then comes back to me. I open the condom in a hurry, my breaths shallow and desperate. My eyes lower down the length of him, every dip and rise of his muscles and that hard cock straining up towards me. I waste no more time either, unrolling the condom on him.
“You ready for this, Elle?”
I nod.
“I don’t just mean now, Elle.” He hooks my chin and forces me to look at him .
“What else do you mean?” I ask.
Although I know what he means, I’m desperate to hear him confirm it. Knowing he wishes he hadn’t let me go all those years ago fills me with a happiness I didn’t know I was missing. We’re standing here, obscenely naked in my bright white kitchen, staring at each other, both of us knowing what we want.
“I mean, when you come back to Mystic, I’m going to do everything I can to make it permanent.”
“Ben, I-”
“Maybe I’ll consider coming here, every now and then,” he glances around. “Maybe.”
I can’t help the laugh that skitters out of me. But it stops when he presses closer to me. He cups the back of my head, glancing at the cupboard I’d knocked into before. He keeps the hand in place as he pushes forward deliberately until he’s buried all the way inside of me.
I’d promise him anything at the moment, but that is a conversation for later. We can work out the details then. Right now, all I care about is having him here, inside, and around me. He pumps his hips slowly, making me gasp as he leans in and kisses me.
Not once does he remove his hand from behind my head, protecting me from hitting it again, and that makes my heart melt even more. As his thrusts strengthen, he uses his other hand to pull my leg up around him, pulling him tight against me.
I shift on the counter, meeting every movement of his hips with mine, never wanting him to let go. He changes the pace, moving slower but no less deep, making my body totally lose control.
“Keep squeezing me like that, Elle. Fuck yes. God, you feel so fucking good. Never gonna stop fucking you. Never wanted anyone the way I want you.”
“Ben,” I breathe out his name and he throbs inside me.
He arches back and I lean with him as he lets out a guttural groan, coming hard and fast, tipping me over the edge too. I reach up and cup my hand over his where it has protected my head the whole time. We’re both panting hard.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he says, kissing me deeply once again.
I feel bereft when he lets go and disposes of the condom, but he’s right back there, lifting me off the counter, my dress falling down around my ankles and bunched at my waist. His smile widens when he stares at my breasts, but he lifts the material to cover them, setting the straps back in place. I’m fully dressed, and he’s still nude.
“I think I like you naked in my kitchen.” I raise a brow.
“I’ll be naked in your kitchen as much as you like,” he waggles his own brows. “If you’ll have me.”
I bite my lip and a surge of emotion has me blinking my eyes rapidly. Ben shakes his head at me in a teasing way, then presses a quick kiss to my lips before stepping back and grabbing his jeans. Once they’re on, he toes the rest of his stuff into a corner, and I eye him with a frown.
“I’ll clean up later,” he goes to put the kettle back on. “You better get used to it.”
“Not a chance.”
He grins, then comes back and pulls me into his arms. I wrap mine around his neck. I cannot believe he is standing here, making jokes about leaving his clothes on the floor and me dealing with it. Like we are going to be a part of each other’s future.
My heart is beating hard, my head still trying to wrap around the idea of him being here.
He came all the way to New York. For me. After I ran away again.
Part of me feels I don’t deserve him, but another, more selfish part thinks I’ll never let him go.
“I guess dad really knew what he was doing when he wrote that stupid will,” I say.
“He did,” Ben agrees with a loud laugh. “The sneaky little fucker.”