Chapter Twenty
“I told you I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Ben, shit come on,” Jared barges his way inside my house. “How many times do I have to apologise? I didn't think anyone was gonna go talking about it where she could hear.”
“You shouldn’t have been talking about it full stop,” I grunt, heading to the kitchen and grabbing a beer out of the fridge. I do not offer Jared one. This is the first time I’ve allowed him to come near me.
“Terri still isn’t talking to me,” he says.
“Boo fucking hoo,” I glare at him.
“Fine, yeah, I’m the asshole. Everyone hates me, but I didn’t set out to fuck things up for you. I thought I was doing you a favour.”
“In what fucked up world did you come to that conclusion, dickhead?”
“Can you stop calling me names?”
I roll my eyes and go into the living room. Jedi hops up on the couch beside me as I drop onto it. He puts his chin on my thigh and his eyebrows rise as he looks up at me. I stroke his head as Jared follows me. He remains standing .
“We all know you never got over her,” Jared says. “You were miserable for years, Ben. You’ve gone through your twenties fucking around, never settling down or having any kind of steady relationship with a woman. You ever think about why that is?”
“It’s horseshit, is what it is,” I say, even though there is a ring of truth to his words. “I haven’t met the right person. Yet.”
He drops onto the chair and clasps his hands between his legs, resting his elbows on his knees. “Acer saw it too.”
I lift my eyes up to look at him.
“Why do you think he did what he did, setting out those terms in his will? If not to get Elle back to Mystic. Fuck, for the last ten years, he’s treated you like his own son.”
“Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”
“Get your head out of your ass,” Jared says, raising his voice.
Jedi sits up at the tone. There isn’t a single vicious bone in my dog’s body, but he didn’t like that. I rest a hand on his shoulder to settle him.
“Acer tried to give you a second chance. It was fucked up and set you guys up to be at odds with one another, but it’s pretty obvious what he was trying to do with that clusterfuck of a will.”
“She left,” I grit out. “Again.”
“Because she thought you were only after one thing.”
“And whose fucking fault is that?”
“Fucking hell, Ben. I know. I got it. I’m the dumb ass. But don’t you be one too.”
I scowl at him. Seems he doesn’t have much more to say because he gets up and heads to the front door.
“Do yourself a favour,” he says from behind me. “Don’t let her walk away again.”
I don’t bother turning around. He leaves and Jedi whines. I pat his head to reassure him everything is alright. I’ve spent the last seven days fluctuating between wanting to do what he says and being pissed at her for running away. She never even gave me a chance to explain. Why should I go running after her ?
I’ve heard all about Frankie too, Darren’s kid. That whole thing is messed up, especially because Acer knew and never told anyone, or even reached out to Claudia and the kid. It’s no fucking wonder Elle has trouble trusting people.
At work the next day, after a fantastic day out on the water, I help the guys haul in the catch. I landed us a new contract with a fishmonger over in Stonington. It’s a huge contract and we only just beat the competition with our prices. I want our reputation to spread further afield, and there is no better way of doing that than providing a fishmonger with their best catch of the day.
Especially given the charter bookings are dropping off. I scowl down at the Day Away offices. They’re not open at this time of the morning, but I see Daley heading down to open up after parking his ridiculous Ferrari in the parking lot.
He sees me watching and instead of going to his office, he veers in my direction.
“Morning,” he calls, tucking his hands into the pockets of his beige slacks. The fucking asshole.
I don’t bother answering.
“I heard you just landed a new contract.”
I don’t let on that it bothers me, he knows that, just look up at him and nod, then get back to my task at hand, prepping everything for the truck that Rex is going to drive over to Stonington. Daley stands there and watches as I move crates from the dock to the truck. Rex comes over to help, glaring daggers at the Day Away prick.
“You know, the fishing business isn’t bringing in as much revenue as it once was. I hear things are getting a little tight for people. I was just chatting with Joe Leigh a couple of days ago about it.”
“That right?” I ask, knowing full well he’s been sniffing around Joe. We had a few beers a couple of nights ago and laughed at this asshole, thinking he was wearing him down .
“Yeah, it’s looking more and more like the charters and day trips are where the money is out on the Mystic.”
I pause what I’m doing and look up at him, pulling my gloves off and tucking them into my back jeans pocket. “Problem with that is, it’s a seasonal thing, tapers off in the winter, Daley.”
“If you get it right the rest of the year, then you’re ahead of the game.”
“Is that what you’re doing, Daley? Staying ahead of the game?” I know the fucker is stealing customers, luring them with his fancy boats, free food, and party atmosphere on his boat. We still have our loyal customers, people who want to go out and fish and not act like idiots.
“You know it. And we can always use good men to help, giving how big we’re growing.”
“Yeah, well, good luck with finding those men.”
He eyeballs me, but I just stare right back. He likes to think he’s intimidating, but he just looks like a schmuck to me in his crisp pants and starched shirts. Nothing like a real fisherman.
“Anything else I can help you with, Daley, cos if not, kindly fuck off. I’m busy.”
Rex laughs as I walk away from the asshole, leaving his lips flapping, like a fish of all things, as he tries to think of a witty comeback. Whatever it is, it’s lost to the wind as I head up to the truck to make sure we have the full inventory ready for Rex to head out.
“He really working on Joe Leigh?” Rex asks me.
“He thinks so,” I grin.
“Fucking moron,” Rex tuts. “All set?”
“Yep, good to go.”
He heads off and I go inside. After washing up, I head to the office to work on some invoices. I draw my eyes to the old filing cabinet in the corner. The one I’ve never gotten around to clearing out. I tap my fingers on the desk as I stare at it. It’s in there, taunting me. The picture Acer always kept on his desk .
I’ve been keeping busy, so I don’t let myself feel as if there is something missing. My mind flashes back to that night at my parents’ house when Elle gave her speech about life and how we’re standing still. I’d been offended at the time thinking she meant the job I was doing here, that it wasn’t important enough to mean I had made something of myself.
As I sit and think it over again, the more I wonder if she was talking about us. She was saying it in the context of me going out to New York. Shaking things up. Snapping myself out of this stagnancy.
Jared’s words swirl in my head, too. I have never met a woman I wanted to commit to, but that didn’t mean it was because I was holding out for Elle. Before Acer pulled his stunt, there’d been no hope for us.
But now there is. And sitting here, thinking about it, I realize I’m doing the same thing Acer did. I’m waiting for her to come back. Instead of going after what I want.
Fucking hell. I want her. I’ve always wanted her.
I grab my keys and head out to the truck, dialing Dawn as I go.
She answers, sounding harried, and I hear a baby squawking in the background. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Sounds like you got your hands full there.”
“I have a newborn. What do you think? So, you ready to pull that stubborn head out of your ass?”
“Shut up. Just give me her address.”
Dawn’s laughter grates on me, but I grab a notepad from the glove compartment and scribble out the address.
“Go get her tiger.” She hangs up on me, the crying cutting off.
I laugh despite the rudeness. I hurry home, shower, and change and drop Jedi off with Lewis and Natalie, because I’m still not talking to Jared. Zach’s youngest, Oscar, is allergic, and I can’t be bothered with a million questions I’d be sure to get from mom.
I program the address into my GPS and do something I never thought I’d do. I head to New York City.
Having never been there before and having left without thinking things through, I have to stop for gas and food because it takes a long time to drive to New York. But once I’m fed and gassed up, I feel better about the decision. Fuck knows what I’m going to say to her, but this sitting back and waiting is done.
I hate New York as soon as I arrive at it. The roads are busy, confusing, and crowded, people crossing the streets, horns blaring, insane road systems. I have no idea how anyone lives here. I get lost, then when I do find her building, there is nowhere to park, so I drive around looking for a parking garage.
And Elle thinks I could try living here. I have no clue how she likes it.
It’s nearing six in the evening when I navigate on foot back to her apartment building. The whole place smells. It’s not horrible, it’s different, potent, like I couldn’t inhale and get a clean lungful of air. As I approach the building, a woman is pulling the door back and shoving a box through with one foot. I hurry over and help her with the door, then offer to pick up the box. She looks harried and slightly red faced but when she stands up and smiles I’m stunned by how beautiful she is.
Fuck, do all the women in New York look like this? Not that she is a patch on Elle. This woman is younger by about ten years, if I had to guess. She’s well put together, though, in designer jeans and a baggy t-shirt that looks as if it’s meant to be old and distressed.
“Oh thank you, but I can manage,” she tells me, hefting up the box. “If you could get the elevator, though, that would be great.”
“You sure? That looks heavy.” I frown as she gets both hands under the bottom of the box.
“Honestly, I’m used to it. I just struggled to get the door. I’m not sure where the doorman is today.”
“Okay.” I cross the lobby to the bank of elevators and hit the button. “What do you have in there anyway, rocks?” I laugh.
“Might as well be,” she gives me a smile back. “Could you hit seven for me? ”
I press the button. It’s where I’m going too. She eyes me when I don’t press another button, but I say nothing. Her phone rings in her back pocket, and she groans.
“Want me to take the box?”
“No thank you, I’ll call him back once I’ve delivered this,” she rolls her eyes, like it’s a common occurrence.
I let her out first when we get to the seventh floor and we both turn in the same direction. She gives me another look and I just nod, hanging back a little. I don’t want her to think I’m following her. When she stops outside the door I’m going to, I frown at her.
“You know Elle?” I ask.
She looks at me in surprise. “I do. Do you?”
“Yeah,” I say, as if that is obvious.
“Sorry,” she chuckles. “I’m Jenna. I’m dropping off some books for her to sign. She has a giveaway for her fans coming up. We would meet at the office, but we’ve had to close up for a couple of days, so I said I’d bring them by.”
“There are books in there?” I shake my head. “Way to make me feel like an asshole. Here,” I take them from her before she can stop me. This box is heavy. I note the definition in her arm muscles though, and the look she gives me at taking the box, like I just offended her. “Sorry, it’s the way my mom raised me,” I tell her.
“Well, okay then. I could manage, but thank you.” she shakes out her arms and knocks on the door. “You never said who you are.”
“Ben?”
We both look up to see Elle standing in the doorway, staring between the two of us. She is shocked to see me, that is for sure, but she’s more confused about finding me talking to this lady on her doorstep.
I stare at her. Her hair is clipped up in a messy bun and she has a white sundress on that almost reaches her ankles. With the sun shining in behind her through the large windows, it’s almost see through, the outline of her legs clear through the fabric .
My eyes fixate on her face and everything else around me ceases to exist. I don’t care that a beautiful woman is standing right beside me, because all I can see is her .
“What are you doing here?” she asks me.
“This is heavy,” I point out.
“What? Oh, sorry.” She turns her focus to the woman. “Jenna, you didn’t buzz.”
“Someone opened the door as I got here, and your friend, Ben, is it? He helped me inside.”
Elle snaps back to reality and steps aside. I indicate for Jenna to enter before me, then follow the two women inside. Elle keeps casting glances back my way as she leads us through a beautiful open space with expensive and confusing looking art on the walls, across to a round dining table sitting next to another huge window that looks out over New York. I place the box down on it and turn to see the two women looking at me.
“Been a long drive. Mind if I use the bathroom?”
“Oh, yes. It’s just through there, second door on the left,” Elle says, running a hand up her throat as she watches me, still clearly at a loss for how or why I’m standing in her home.
I’m glad her friend is here. It’s taken the shock out of seeing me, and tampered down any negative reaction that could have come my way, like telling me to get lost. I head to the bathroom. I don’t need to go, but figure Elle needs to gather herself. I grin when I hear them whispering as I round the corner out of the line of sight.
The bathroom is almost dazzling when I turn the lights on, all white marble with black counters. The shower takes up one wall and has a wall of glass up to the ceiling, like it’s a separate room, with doors in the center. There is not a thing out of place in here. How does she live like this?
I wash up, then after a good five minutes, walk back out. They’re still standing by the dining table when I come back. They’ve emptied the box and made three piles of books. I note the bare-chested guy on the front with an eyebrow raise.
Jenna grins at me. “Aren’t they awesome?” she holds one up to show me it better.
Elle chuckles as I scrunch up my nose and look over the top of the book with a non-committal shrug. “I’m not qualified to comment,” I tell them, making them both laugh.
“Call me when they’re all signed,” Jenna says, grabbing her phone from her pocket when it rings again. “I’ll get them picked up when you’re done. I better answer this before he sends security out looking for me.”
“Thanks for bringing them over.”
“Nice to meet you, Ben,” Jenna calls. While Elle isn’t looking, she gives me a wink and a thumbs up.
“You too,” I tell her, confused by that gesture, as Elle sees her to the door.
“Adam, you don’t need to ring me twenty-eight times a day,” I hear her saying as Elle pecks her cheek and watches her walk away.
She comes back inside and closes the door, standing still with her back to me.
I wait for her to turn around and face me.