Chapter 5
Natasha
It’s been four days. Four days of nothing since I saw him go up the stairway to hell.
My mind is torturing me with visions of him with those two girls and what went on upstairs.
The way he touched the blond one with the backs of his fingers.
Every time I close my eyes, I see it and it kills me.
The way he smiled at her with the cigarette between his teeth, the way he cracked his neck.
That’s the worst one, it rolls my stomach. I feel sick at the thought.
A broken heart is lonely business, and no one can take away the hurt.
I feel so alone. I haven’t left the house other than to work, haven’t slept.
I have however eaten everything on the southern side of the planet; there’s a lot to be said for comfort-eating.
I am full stomached and empty hearted. The emptiness is overwhelming.
As I wait for the bartender to serve me my drink, I notice Bridge and Abbs discussing a man standing next to me at the bar.
I roll my eyes and shake my head at them.
Determination doesn’t come close to the scheming these two are doing tonight.
We are at the Ivy, our favorite nightclub, and I am pimped up to the nines.
I’m in a tight charcoal strapless dress and black stiletto ankle boots, their choice of course.
I feel like Barbie with my hair all out and full, not to mention the hooker makeup they have applied.
They both want me to pick up a random guy and have a one-night stand.
I have been forced to listen to the benefits of this for two frigging days.
They think I am only under the influence of Joshua because he has been my only one, which is probably true.
I told them if they find a guy who can get me hot then I will do it.
However, I know this is not an easy feat.
If it was, I would have done it years ago.
Apparently, it should be someone I don’t know, but the thought of that scares me a bit.
What if I get back to his house and he’s a serial killer?
There are a few guys who I do know and sort of like and I know like me, maybe I should do it with one of them.
I can’t believe I am even considering this.
I sound like Abbie. She knows she will have sex later that night, by lunchtime that day, it’s totally preconceived.
The poor bastard she picks is in for it, whether he likes it or not. Though I’m sure he’s not complaining.
Can I really do this? I shuffle forward in the line at the bar while I think.
Let’s recap, I haven’t had sex in seven years.
I think I’m in love with a total asshole who fucks multiple strippers at the same time.
I close my eyes as I imagine the orgy. The human imagination can be so cruel.
I shiver in contempt. I need to move on, and I think the girls might be right.
I do need to take control of my life and I intend on doing it tonight.
How in the hell am I going to get through it?
I look around the room for divine intervention as I take a deep breath.
Alcohol, that’s the ticket. If I get drunk enough maybe it will take the edge off, calm my nerves so to speak.
My turn comes around and I shuffle up to place my order.
“What will it be?” asks a pretty girl with massive boobs. Um, am I really going to do this? Oh shit, fuck it.
“I’ll have six Tequilas please.”
Joshua
I look around at the women seated around Ben and me at the Ivy on the deep leather lounges in a half circle.
We have been here a few times—it seems Adrian’s club of choice.
I’m not a fan really, the women are all desperate and money hungry.
They can smell my wallet from a mile off, attractive enough though.
I smile at Ben as I listen to the two girls either side of him compliment his accent.
“Ben, you sound so gorgeous when you say that, can you say it again?” My eyes roll.
God, why does he tell them his real name?
I rub the side of my pointer backward and forward over my lips, my elbow resting on the armrest as I listen to the small talk.
I take a sip of my Cointreau and ice. I really would rather go, this redhead next to me is annoying as fuck.
“So, do you have an accent?” she gushes.
“No, I don’t.”
“Do you live near here?”
“No,” I answer again, deadpan. I can’t even pretend to be interested; in fact I’m being quite rude. Ben flashes me a dirty look; he’s obviously interested here. I frown as I rub my eyes—where the fuck is Adrian? He drags me here then pisses off, fucking typical.
“So, you live in America?” she asks. I nod as I take a sip.
This is unbearable. I’m going to the bar, as anything is better than sitting here with this idiot.
I stand and walk to the bar without an explanation.
I’m not going there. Ben is on his own with this one.
Adrian finally appears through the crowd and walks over to me.
He takes my drink from me and sips my Cointreau.
I scowl at him, and he gives me a devious smile over the rim of the glass.
“Natasha’s here.”
My eyes go wide. “What,” I snap. “Where?”
“Downstairs dancing.” Before I can stop myself, I am striding toward the stairs. Adrian is running beside me like the personal assistant that he is.
“Did she see you?”
“No.” He shakes his head. My heart has started racing at just the mention of the fucking bitch’s name. I stop on the stairs and Adrian runs into the back of me.
“Ow, what are you doing?” he snaps.
I turn to him. “Did you know she would be here?”
“No, I hoped.” He smiles. “Bridget told me they often come here.”
“When?”
“At the wedding.”
I tilt my head. “Why?”
“Because you haven’t slept or eaten since we saw her in the restaurant on Tuesday. And you’re a total nightmare to be around.”
“Fuck off. Excuse me if I don’t want to play happy family with her new boyfriend.”
“He’s not her boyfriend, I already told you this. Who do you think you’re speaking to? I know you better than anyone,” he snaps back.
“Fuck off,” I mutter as I continue down the stairs, two at a time.
We arrive at the lounge next to the dance floor and I go straight to the bar.
I’m not up for this shit tonight. I need another drink to temper my sexual attraction for her before it becomes an addiction.
Whatever you call it, it’s a fucking nightmare.
Adrian comes up beside me. I can’t even look at her—my nerves are shot.
“Do you see her?” I ask softly, as I keep my eyes face forward.
“Yes.” He smiles. As I hand him his drink he points with his chin. “She’s over there with Bridget and another blond girl.” He cranes his neck and does a low whistle. “Fuck, she looks hot, Josh.”
With that comment I can’t help myself, I have to look.
I turn to see her laugh out loud with a carefree flick of her hair, and my insides melt.
I love the way she laughs. I miss the way she laughs.
Those dimples do me in, every time. She’s perfect, my eyes swipe down her from head to toes.
Looks hot is the understatement of the year—she looks fucking edible.
My cock immediately twitches to attention.
Why in the hell does she affect me like this?
She’s wearing a tight dress that shows every curve on that beautiful body, and those tits.
I haven’t seen her dressed like this before—she’s asking for it.
Actually, she may be begging for it by the end of the night, either that or begging me to stop.
I smile as that thought crosses my mind.
My eyes drop as her long muscular legs demand my attention in those sky-high boots.
Boots that belong around my ears while I bury myself deep inside that beautiful tight… . This isn’t good.
I rub my face and turn back to the bar. Seriously fucked-up shit going on here.
This is unbearable. I need to get the hell out of here before I do something that I will regret.
Something that will entail her being bent over the bar while I take her from behind.
Hard. Where did that come from? I rub my forehead as cold sweat breaks my brow.
I can feel my willpower slipping inch by inch, moment by moment.
The brain in my cock overtakes the gears of my brain, too much blood in one part, not enough in the other. Shit.
“Go and talk to her,” Adrian urges.
“Are you kidding? No.” I glance back as she turns her back to me and starts to dance.
God that ass, fuck me. What I could do to it.
My cock gets harder. This happened at the wedding, and the last time I saw the bitch.
Just the sight of her and I could orgasm.
My heart starts racing again at the thought of what sex would be like with her.
Fuck, it’s almost primal. My eyes flick back again, the urge of ownership over her that fills me is disturbing.
I need to go home before I drag her kicking and screaming out of here.
Natasha
I’m well on my way to drunken heaven by my fifth drink and fourth shot.
I think I will be unconscious before I’m able to come through with the goods though.
I’m finding it hard to even dance with men, knowing what the night might hold.
How do people do this regularly? At this point in my life, celibacy in a monastery is alluring.
And the men. Seriously, is this the best we’ve got? Not a single person here interests me.