Chapter 15
Natasha
“We’re leaving,” he snaps as he grabs my hand. I snatch my hand out of his.
“Don’t touch me.” I scowl. He stops and frowns at me. I sigh and put both of my hands up in a stop signal.
“Just go home with blondie, Josh. We both know you’ve done it before.”
He drops his head and rests his hand on my hip. “Tash, don’t be like that.”
“You promised me, you asshole.” Oh no, those stupid tears are welling again. I bite my lip and look down to the ground. He grabs my hand once more and I snatch it away.
“I said don’t fucking touch me!” I yell.
Okay, donkey on the edge. I’m coming very close to licking the windows here.
This could be a scene from Fatal Attraction with yours truly starring as the serial killer.
“Josh, I’m leaving. Have a nice night, actually life…
it’s been nice knowing you.” I stomp to the front door with him hot on my heels.
I glance across the room to catch Bridget’s and Adrian’s eyes and give them a wave as I disappear down the stairs and out the door.
Outside I immediately lift my arm for a cab as I stomp toward the curb.
“What are you doing?” he snaps. “You’re acting totally irrational.”
“Irrational?!” I scream as I push him in the chest. “I said go away!” I yell.
I really am going for an Oscar here but I’m too mad to care.
The limo pulls up, he bends down, and in one fell swoop picks me up and throws me over his shoulder and pushes me into his limo.
I get in and scowl as I shuffle to the other side to get away from him, but he scoots in after me.
“What’s fucking wrong with you?” he yells.
I gesture that the driver can hear us, so he pushes the privacy screen button and it goes up slowly.
He sits back in his seat and runs his pointer finger over his lips while resting his elbow on the door.
I know he’s thinking. He runs both of his hands through his hair.
He’s frustrated. Well, good, because I’m fuming.
“If it’s not too much trouble, Natasha,” he sneers, “please tell me what the hell is the matter with you.”
“When did you sleep with her?” He frowns but doesn’t answer me. “Josh, you promised me.” And that is it, the pathetic dam bursts and I break into full-blown sobs.
“Promised what?” he says gently as he slides over to be near me and he wraps me in an embrace. “Sshh, precious, don’t cry. I can’t stand it, baby.” He kisses my forehead.
“You told me you wouldn’t be with anyone else,” I sob. “And yet you slept with her.” I sound pathetic but I can’t even pretend to act cool anymore, I don’t have it in me.
“Baby, I’m sorry, it was before I got back with you.
I didn’t know what was going to happen between us.
” I stay silent as I process his words, my chest racking with sobs.
He runs his hand down over my hair. I shake my head.
I’m an embarrassment to myself. I have absolutely no self-respect. I put my head down.
“How many times?” I ask but he stays silent. “Josh, how many times?” I repeat…still silence. “So help me, Josh, if you don’t.”
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to, Natasha.”
“How many?” I sob.
He drops his head. “Three times,” he says quietly.
“Three times!” I yell. That’s it, I’ve lost it. I put my head into my hands and weep.
He pulls me into his arms and onto his lap.
“Shh, stop it, please don’t cry.” He kisses my face continually as he rubs my leg.
We sit in silence all the way home, me too heartbroken to articulate and he too scared to speak in case he says the wrong thing.
We pull up in front of my apartment and he moves me off his lap.
I slowly get out of the car and walk toward the front foyer area and he walks in behind me. I turn.
“Josh, I don’t…. I can’t do this…not anymore. It hurts…you just hurt me too much. This isn’t a healthy relationship for me. I can’t deal with this…baggage. You need to let me be.” I turn and walk off and he follows again without saying anything. “I mean it, Josh, go home.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not ending it like this, Tash. You can’t let this come between us. She means nothing to me.”
“Three times, Josh. You went back for seconds and thirds.” “It was before we kissed at the wedding. I haven’t touched anyone since the first time we kissed at the wedding, I promise you.
” Can I believe anything that comes out of his mouth?
I’m exhausted. I don’t even have it in me to fight anymore.
I turn to walk inside, and he waves the driver off and the car pulls away.
We get upstairs and I immediately strip off and head to my therapy of choice, a burning-hot shower.
This was definitely not the night I had planned.
He wisely doesn’t come into the bathroom but waits for me in the lounge room with a cup of tea he has made for me.
I dress quickly into my favorite nightwear and join him.
He smiles when he sees my flannel pajamas.
“What?” I frown.
“I’d never thought I would see the day, but your pajamas are kind of growing on me.”
I momentarily forget I’m angry with him and look down and smile. “I told you I would buy you some so we could match.”
He smiles as he hands me my cup of tea and he leans in and gives me a kiss on the forehead.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. I don’t know what to think: is he lying to me?
Has he stuck to our agreement? Actually, what a joke.
I had to force him to agree not to be with anyone else.
Who am I fucking kidding? This isn’t a relationship.
This is a fuck buddy with benefits. Actually, that isn’t even right because at the moment the benefits are a broken heart.
I stand up and walk over to my kitchen bench.
“Josh, I need to ask you something and if you have any respect at all for me you will tell me the truth.” He swallows and nods.
“How many women have you slept with since you have been back in Australia?”
He shakes his head.
“What a ridiculous question,” he snaps. “None since you.”
“Josh, I mean it.” My voice is rising.
“Don’t fucking ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to, Natasha,” he snaps.
OK, I’m getting outraged. “Josh, stop it. I want to know.”
“Why?”
“Because it matters to me.”
“Why?” His voice is rising, and his anger levels are starting to match mine.
“You told me three times with that girl.” He scowls at me for bringing that up.
“How long are you going to throw that in my face?” he screams. Is he fucking kidding? Throw it in his face? I’m going to be throwing punches at his face in a minute.
“What I mean, asshole, is that if you were with her three times, how many times did you actually fuck her on each occasion?”
He narrows his eyes, finally understanding the question. “Fuck off, that’s semantics.”
“No, it isn’t, we both know how well you…back up, again and again. So, let’s see three times is more likely ten to twelve times in Josh language.”
“Fuck off, you just want to fight, and I have heard just about as much of your shit as I am going to take. It was before I was with you and that is the end of it. Stop being a fucking drama queen!”
“Drama queen?” I yell. “How many women, Josh?”
“I told you I’m not fucking going there. Now cut the shit or I’m leaving.”
“Fucking leave then!”
“Why does it matter to you how many women I have slept with?” he yells. “They mean nothing to me anyway, so who fucking cares?”
“Actually, I do,” I scream.
He rubs his eyes. “You know what? I know what you are doing. You’re pulling your psychology shit on me, trying to fuck with my head, and it’s working.
You know I have a colored past and that I like a bit of kink so don’t act all innocent now.
I didn’t see you complaining when you were taking it the other night. ”
Oh my god, he did not just say that. I narrow my eyes. “Bit of kink. What in the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I scream.
He steps back, shocked at my disgust. “I didn’t mean…that came out wrong.” He suddenly realizes what he just said and is trying to backpedal real fast. I throw an apple at him out of my fruit bowl and he ducks as it goes over his head.
“Well, sorry, I wasn’t aware that when I was taking it the other night that I was one of the many you were dishing out your bit of kink to. You fucking sleazebag! Get the fuck out of my house!” I scream.
“No,” he yells. “You don’t get to choose how this ends.”
“I just did,” I scream as I storm past him to my bedroom and I slam the door. I hear him coming after me, so I quickly flick the lock.
He bangs on the door. “Open this fucking door!” he yells.
“Go back to the club, Josh, and pick up a few of your harem so you can give them a bit of kink,” I scream.
“I’m sure they will love to take it!” The door suddenly smashes, and I jump back from it.
I frown. OK, maybe I should shut up now.
I hear my front door slam…. And then, silence.
Five minutes later I gingerly open the door and am relieved to find he has gone, my heart still racing at double speed, no doubt from the adrenaline of fighting with such an infuriating asshole.
I look at the other side of my door to find a gaping big hole where he has punched it in anger. He is so fucking paying for that.
I head back to the shower.
I didn’t get my hot sex tonight, but I definitely got a heated argument. And, quite frankly, I’m too pissed off to care.