16. Sixteen
Sixteen
March 2021 - One Year Ago
Connor Kelly
I don’t know why I’m even here. He signed the agreement. He has promised to marry my sister. I wish I hadn’t agreed to meet him here; this barn holds too many memories. This is where we had sex for the first time. Where we said I love you for the first time. I suppose it’s a fitting venue for getting my heart broken for the first time, too.
When Niamh came home a few days ago looking alarmingly pale, she dropped the biggest bombshell of my life on me. In the wake of hearing about the plot against Jade and the baby, instead of retaliating, Alpha Campbell met with my da, and they decided enough was enough.
They had meetings every day for over a week, putting together an agreement to put an end to this asinine turf war. The hours I must have spent over these last four years, wishing for this very moment, desperate for peace between our packs so Fee and I could finally be together out in the open. And now, that same peace agreement I’ve longed for is what will break us apart for good.
Phoenix and Niamh are engaged.
The wedding is set to take place in a few days, and then they’ll move to the Yorkshire territory and start to build a pack of their own. If this goes ahead, not only will I lose the love of my life, I’ll lose my twin sister too. She won’t be part of our pack anymore, and I definitely can’t stomach watching her build a life with the man who was supposed to be mine.
When I shift and open up the plastic storage box we keep spare clothes in, I choke up seeing Fee’s big threadbare uni hoodie I always wear. I bypass it and dig out one of my old jumpers from the bottom. Next, I shove on some jogging bottoms; at this point, I have no idea who they belong to because we’ve been sharing these clothes for years.
Fucking years.
Sinking to my knees, I couldn’t stop the heaving sobs that escape me if I tried. I’m still hiccuping and covered in snot when Fee pads into the barn on all fours. He looks into the box and picks up his uni hoodie with his mouth, dropping it into my lap and nudging me with his head.
“It’s yours,” I whisper. Fee shifts and dresses in silence.
“It’s your favourite, you have it,” he says softly, sitting down opposite me.
“Don’t. Give me. This. Hoodie like. It’s some. Consolation prize.” I should be embarrassed by the way my sobs interrupt every other word, but I’m too exhausted and too broken to care.
Fee leans forward and uses a t-shirt from the box to wipe the snot and tears off my face before discarding it behind him.
“When did you last sleep?” he asks, rubbing his thumbs under my puffy eyes and along my cheekbones. His hand drifts down, and he tugs my lip from between my teeth where I’ve been chewing on it. “Please don’t hurt yourself, baby,” he whispers, pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around me. My breathing keeps stuttering as I try to gain some composure. He presses a soft kiss to my lips, but it’s over before it even registers.
What if that’s the last kiss we ever share, and I was too wrecked to even take in the moment?
“P—please. Don’t go through with it,” I beg, even though I’ve already asked him a million times.
“Babe, I need you to really listen to what I’m going to tell you. Listen to the actual words, okay?” I nod.
“I have to marry Niamh. I have no choice in whether I go through with this or not. Do you hear what I’m saying?” He speaks slowly, as though I lack speech comprehension. Condescending prick.
I hear precisely what he’s saying.
I scramble off his lap. Apparently, I have just enough remaining dignity to stop continuing to embarrass myself.
“Yes, Phoenix, I hear what you’re sayin’. You’re breakin’ up with me and marryin' my fuckin’ sister. Do you know how disgustin' that is?” I start pacing because I can’t stay still for this.
“Right. So you didn’t listen to what I said at all then. I’m not breaking up with you, but I have to marry your sister.” He keeps looking at me like I’m being purposefully difficult, and it’s only adding fuel to my fire.
“Oh, how fuckin’ generous of you, Phoenix. I get to be your side piece while you run off into the sunset with my TWIN!” I shout in exasperation because I don’t understand how he can say all this to me, knowing he’s ripping my heart to shreds.
“Can you stop saying my name like it’s some kind of disease? I’m not asking you to be my side piece. For fuck’s sake, you aren’t listening to me. Can’t you tell Niamh the truth? Surely she wouldn’t go through with it if she knew?” He has some audacity to put this on Niamh when she’s the innocent party in all of this.
“I’ve fuckin’ told her, okay? I told her as soon as I found out, but if she backs out of this, she’ll be shunned from our pack. I can’t ask her to give up everythin’ for me. You told me you’d run away with me if you could, I know I said I couldn’t do it, but I can. I will. I’ll leave with you today, but please don’t marry my sister. I won’t survive that,” I plead with him.
I rescind my previous statement. No dignity left whatsoever.
Fee lets out a resigned sigh. He looks as exhausted as I feel. The dark shadows under his eyes make him appear suddenly much older. His jaw is covered in a thick stubble that hadn’t filled out when we first met. A deep crinkle nestles between his eyebrows as he frowns at me. I have to fight the urge to smooth it out with my thumb.
“Don’t say this now. I’ve waited years for you to say this. You can’t say it now. Please hear me, unless Niamh calls off the wedding, I have to marry her. I love you, Cee, and I will always love you, but Niamh has to be the one to call this off.” He sounds exasperated, but there’s a finality to his words.
“I hear you. All this time, you told me if you had to choose between me and your pack, that you’d choose me, was a fuckin’ lie. Hear me this time; if you go through with this, I will never forgive you.” I choke on the words even though I mean them. There’s no coming back from this.
“I have never lied to you, never. I don’t have a choice. And let’s not forget Will; where does your future husband fit into all of these plans you have for us?” He spits the words at me, and I’ve never heard him so angry. I’m oddly grateful for them because it’s easier to be angry than broken. I’d sooner yell and scream at him than fall apart at his feet.
“Don’t you fuckin’ dare throw Will at me. I’ve never hidden that from you, and you’ve always known I wouldn’t go through with it. My family have been on my case for years to set a date, and I’ve never even come close.”
“You might not have set a date, but you never called it off either, did you? Maybe Will’s been your safety net all along. You were right, I’ve asked you so many times to run away with me, and you always said no. Obviously, I should have listened.” I’m ready to launch into a defence, but he interrupts me. “Did you know I found him through your socials once? You’re in half of his photos, and he looks at you like you hung the damn moon, Connor. I told myself it didn’t matter because I trusted you, but maybe you’ve been stringing us both along.”
Connor? He never calls me Connor.
I physically flinch at the words he throws at me, every single one landing like a dagger in my heart. I hardly even recognise the man in front of me. Where has my soft brown-eyed boy gone, and who is this stranger cutting me into pieces?
I feel as though he’s ripped out my heart with his bare hands and is squeezing it tight, digging in with his fingernails to be sure to leave a scar. How fucking dare he try to make this my fault when he’s going to marry my own sister. I wipe my eyes with my sleeve, and when I look at him, I can see the regret swimming in his eyes. He covers his hand with his mouth as though he can shove the words back in.
I hope he regrets this moment for the rest of his fucking life.
“I fuckin’ hate you.”
I shift so suddenly that the clothes tear right off my body, and I take off running. I need physical distance between us, and yet with every step I take away from him, the bond between us pulls taught. The bond between our souls that demands we be together—because bite or no bite, we’re mates.
How do I get my brain to tell my soul that my mate is going to marry someone else? That my mate is going to marry my sister.