Chapter Eighteen
Candy
That was it. Candy had officially scared Votra off.
The entire time they’d worked together, she’d never known Votra not to be there before Candy. She entertained the idea for a second that Votra was just running a little late, but she was pretty sure the word late wasn’t in Votra’s vocabulary.
She’d sent Votra a couple of teasing comm messages, asking her where she was, but they’d all gone unanswered. And now, she was just plain worried.
Her last resort was to message Qaed.
hiiii uh is votra okay? shes not here and its stressing me out a little
My apologies, I am not at home at the moment. She is not at work? Let me try to call her.
She didn’t allow herself the nosy luxury of asking why Qaed wasn’t at home so early in the morning.
Hm. She did not answer me, either.
I can get home quickly and check on her.
Candy wanted to check on her. God, when had she become such a worrywart?
its okay, i’m gonna head over now
Was this crazy, showing up at Votra’s apartment just because she was an hour late to work?
Maybe it was. Maybe she needed to settle down.
But if Qaed was also worried… then she wasn’t wrong.
She let out a loud groan that echoed throughout the incredibly empty office.
If she didn’t answer her comm the second time, she’d go.
Candy tried to call her again, and the call went unanswered. “Okay, Votra, I guess we’re really doing this,” she said, calling a shuttle taxi.
It picked her up a few minutes later, and the second she got in, she felt stupid. Votra was a grown woman who could make her own decisions, and if that decision meant sleeping in an extra hour, so be it.
Candy hadn’t worried like this about someone in a long time. Even if this sort of thing had happened with Ross when they were together, she would probably make the assumption that he was ignoring her to play games with his friends.
Or that he was out with some other girl.
The thought flickered through her brain for a split second before fizzling out.
Weirdly, she couldn’t bring herself to entertain the thought for long.
She trusted Votra. It wasn’t like they were exclusive or anything, but Candy wasn’t really looking to sleep with anyone else.
Hell, she was hardly looking to spend time with anyone else.
And some little niggling feeling inside her made her think that Votra felt the same way.
Or maybe it was just wishful thinking. Votra was her own woman, and she could do whatever she wanted.
After all, the ‘no fucking’ clause was back on track.
They’d fucked well over ‘a time or two,’ and Votra probably wanted to put her head down for the next two weeks and finish what needed to be finished before the launch party.
Maybe this was selfish, to be pouring her feelings out to Votra while they were in the throes of preparing for the launch of Starcrossed.
But she didn’t think she could hold it in anymore.
Every time she was anywhere near Votra, she felt like she was going to burst at the seams with all of the feelings she had for her.
But the worst Votra could do was deny her.
They were contractually bound to work together until the party, so at least she wouldn’t lose her job.
And if Votra did deny her, then she’d just go back to Earth and live with her parents, or she’d get her own apartment in Brooklyn. With a cat. A cat would be cool.
But going back home didn’t sound as good as it used to.
The taxi dropped her off in front of Votra’s apartment, and flashbacks of all those fucking stairs came flooding back to her. God, this better be worth it.
Votra was actually going to think she was crazy, getting her address from Qaed to come and make sure she was alright. What if Votra was on her way to work right now and she got to work and Candy wasn’t there?
Candy didn’t have much time to overthink it. The door opened a moment later, and Candy couldn’t bring herself to look up. Every word she’d rehearsed in her head in the taxi shuttle on the way over evaded her, but maybe Votra would find it charming that she was speaking directly from the heart.
“Sorry, I know there is probably a reason that you didn’t come to work this morning and I’m totally overstepping a boundary by being here.
I just wanted to check on you and I also just really wanted to tell you that, when I said that I liked you at Felicette yesterday, I meant it.
Like, more than just the whole sleeping together thing.
I mean, I like that too, of course. I’d be really fucking stupid not to like that part. But I also like being around you and—”
“Let me get Votra for you.” The voice that interrupted her was a good amount deeper than Votra’s, tinged with an amusement that Candy felt in her bones.
She forced her gaze up to a qintaril who was somehow even taller than Votra.
His skin was the same pretty blue-gray, but that was where their similarities ended.
His shoulders were broad and his chest even broader, muscular arms barely contained by the t-shirt he wore. One of their arms was bandaged tightly.
Shit. Her sibling. Candy grabbed his arm before he could turn. “Please don’t,” she said quickly. “Don’t tell her what I just said. This kind of just feels like it wasn’t supposed to happen.”
Votra’s sibling glanced down at Candy’s hand. “You are Candy, right?” she asked, and the hairs on the back of Candy’s neck stood on end.
Votra talked about her? “Yeah, I am.”
“I do not think you have anything to worry about.” Vendi patted Candy’s hand, and she relinquished her hold on him. “You should come in, at least. I know she would be happy to see you.”
She was too weak of a human to say no to an opportunity to see Votra. “Okay,” she said meekly, following her into the apartment.
Votra’s eyes were on her the second she stepped in. Shit, had she heard all of that anyway? “Hi,” Candy said, voice more akin to a squeak.
“Hi.” Candy couldn’t read the expression on Votra’s face.
This was stupid. “Sorry, I should probably go—”
“It is alright. I was just leaving.” Vendi patted Votra’s shoulder, and they exchanged glances that Candy didn’t understand. “I will be in the galaxy for a while, though. Perhaps the three of us could get lunch some time.”
“That would be nice,” Candy said, stealing the occasional glance at Votra. She genuinely couldn’t tell if she’d heard anything that she’d said to Vendi, or if she had, how she felt about it. She just looked… tired.
Oh God. Had she just interrupted something between them and now they had to act like everything was fine because she was here?
“It is so nice to see that you have found someone so good for you, Votra,” Vendi said, resting her hand on the doorknob. “I would have thought you would be more excited to introduce her to me.”
“I–” Votra cleared her throat. “Candy and I are not… together.”
Candy’s body ran hot and cold at the same time. Sure, it was true, but… hearing it out loud so casually felt… bad. Candy and I just work together and I don’t even know why she came all the way over here.
This was what she got for jumping into something with the first alien that gave her any sort of attention.
Apparently, aliens and humans weren’t so different after all.
Votra was just another person who was ashamed of her–but this time, she really couldn’t place why.
She’d had a rebuttal against every wall Candy had thrown up.
Vendi stopped, his hand stilling on the doorknob. “Really? I would not have guessed.”
Candy just wanted to leave. She wanted to go home, crawl into her bed, and cry. She wanted her bed, not the bed back at Xyxy’s. “Yeah. I was just coming to check on her since she didn’t come to work. But, uh, apparently everything’s okay.”
Vendi’s gaze didn’t waver from Votra. “Apparently so.” She opened the door, and Candy had half a mind to dart out after her. “It was lovely to meet you, Candy. Think about that lunch, okay?” Votra still didn’t say a word as the door closed behind her.
She sucked in a deep, shuddering breath, not looking at Votra. Her face tingled with heat, anger seeping through her pores. “Wow. This was stupid. I, uh… I should go.”
“Wait, what is wrong?” Votra’s voice was small, distant. God, that pissed Candy off. So now she could talk?
“Nothing. I think I was just… reading too far into this. This is on me.” It wasn’t like Votra was wrong. They weren’t together. And maybe Candy was naive for feeling like they were.
“Candy, wait–”
Candy drew in a shuddering breath. “I just wanted to make sure you were alive, because you, like, never miss work. And you’re alive.
So… I can go.” More than anything, she was embarrassed.
Embarrassed to be having this big of a reaction to something so small–she’d fallen too hard, too fast, as always, and she had no one to blame but herself.
She had to learn how to exercise some form of self-preservation, because God only knew she’d never been good at it in the past. She didn’t have the excuse of being with Votra for five years to keep her here.
It was two weeks of her life. And she could throw that away if it meant keeping her heart safe.
She left before Votra had the chance to stop her. There. She’d done it. She’d stood up for herself, because dammit, she deserved it.
The rain seeping into every fiber of her clothing only made matters worse. It was raining harder now. Veterok-III’s rain was ice cold, stinging her skin like tiny shards of glass.
And she hadn’t even called a fucking taxi. “God dammit,” she muttered, angry, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. At least they were keeping her face kind of warm. She weaved through all of those fucking staircases, and right now, she hated Votra for living in such a stupid place.
She wrapped her arms around herself as she stood in the parking area, surrounded by shuttles but none of which could take her out of here.