7. Mae
SEVEN
Mae
I have no clue what happened at the party. Seth and I were so close to breaking that friend barrier, and then he disappeared. I was going to look for him, but Levi and Mark made it seem like he didn’t want to be found. Maybe I was too forward. I shouldn’t have been so eager to up and move to India with him. Even if that’s not really what I wanted. I bet he saw right through me.
I’m too needy.
I climb out of bed, intent on going for a walk and trying to rid myself of my negative thoughts, when Abi grabs my hand and yanks me into bed with her.
“What’s going on?” she whispers.
“I’m having trouble getting to sleep. I’m going for a walk.” I keep my voice low so I don’t wake the other girls.
“Sane people read a book if they can’t sleep. Not go for a walk in the middle of the night. What happened? You’ve been pouting since Seth left. Do I need to beat my brother up?”
We’ve done this before, but usually it’s Abi that’s having boy trouble.
I sigh. I have no one else to talk to, and even though he’s her brother, I tell her everything.
“I may have been a little forward with him, and then he disappeared. I think I ruined it.”
“Oh my gosh, we’re going to be sisters for real.”
She squeals, and someone yells, “Go back to sleep.”
I keep my voice at a whisper. “Abi. He blew me off. Which shouldn’t really surprise me. He’s smart and rich. Adventurous. Thoughtful. He’s everything, and what am I? Nothing.”
She waves a hand. “Nonsense. I saw you dancing together. He’s so into you. And give yourself a little credit. You’re amazing too. I don’t know what happened tonight, but I’m sure it’ll get fixed.”
I don’t believe her. I should, but I have no idea what happened.
“Whatever you say. I’m still going for a walk. And then I’ll come back and read if I still can’t sleep. I’m behind on our book this week. Not even halfway.”
“How can you be behind? That book was amazing. I finished it in a day.” Abi definitely likes pirate romance better than I do. She picks a different trope or genre every month, and we read three to five books in it. Most of them I like, but I still don’t read as fast as she does.
I give her a quick kiss on the forehead, grab a flashlight and my phone, and leave. Airing everything out with Abi helped, but my mind is still racing. I absolutely don’t want to ruin my friendship with Seth. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Truth be told, the reason I never managed to hang onto a guy for more than six months before Rick was because I always held them up against Seth.
No one was good enough.
Not that Rick was any better. Part of me was just trying to prove to myself that I could be in a relationship. Yes, I was hurt when he dumped me, but it didn’t last that long.
Because he wasn’t Seth.
I didn’t even realize we had a chance until he showed up in person.
Our chemistry.
As much as that thrills me, it makes me nervous as well. Because having his attention in that way is scary. I could just as easily screw it up. Maybe I already did. He shut me out. He didn’t even respond to my goodnight texts.
I take the trail through the woods toward the main area, intending to camp out in the gazebo and read. Even before Seth came back, I spent several late nights out here. I don’t know why it feels like the only spot I can read, but it’s so easy to get lost in the romance of the place.
I’m halfway down the path when I hear footsteps pounding toward me. I fumble with my flashlight, and suddenly, something collides with me, knocking me to the ground. Two very wet tongues lick my face.
I shove at the dogs.
“Bisbee, Gilbert! Where did you go?” a voice calls out in the distance.
“I’ve got them, Terry.”
Lights bob down the path, and the dogs run back for Terry.
She and Todd come into view. “I’m so sorry. We…uh…got distracted, and they took off when they heard you.”
I stand and dust off my shorts. “It’s okay.”
She and Todd look flushed, and Terry’s clothes are a little messed up. I cringe. These guys are like my parents. I don’t want to think about them making out in the woods like teenagers. I suppose little Ollie living with them makes things hard in their own house.
I think about my parents for a moment. I don’t remember them ever holding hands, let alone kissing. I drop my eyes and search for my phone and flashlight. They’re a few feet from me on the ground.
I hold up the phone. “I couldn’t sleep, so I was going to read for a bit.”
“The gazebo is a good place for that. Have a good night, Mae.”
“I will.”
They and the dogs head in the opposite direction of me, for which I’m grateful. I’m not up for chatting tonight. Though Terry is a great conversationalist after midnight. Abi and I get the best advice from her then.
The gazebo sits on the edge of the parklike lawn. On one side is the big red pole barn and a path down to the river. On the other side is the main house and big outbuilding that they turned into office space. Across from that is the lodge and food truck area, with the animal barn beyond them. At night, the stars go on for miles. I love sitting on the bench and staring off into space. Even though I know I’m wrong, I like to imagine every satellite is a ship from another planet, and I wonder what they’ll think when they arrive.
I exit the woods and glance up at the lit windows in the farmhouse and at the office building. Well, one window—Seth’s office. He hasn’t spent much time in there since we’ve started working together. The space is too small, but tonight the light is on. I check my phone. It’s midnight.
I go inside and approach quietly, not wanting to scare him. The door is open, and his back is to me. Deka lies next to his feet. She lifts her head when I approach but doesn’t stand.
He’s still wearing his starched white shirt, but the sleeves are rolled up, and his jacket is slung over the back of the chair.
I knock on the door frame. He turns. His tie is loosened, and the top button of his shirt is undone. My fingers itch to reach out and undo it all the way. But first, we’d have to lock the door and pull the blinds on that window.
He smiles briefly, and then it turns into a frown.
“Can’t sleep in your boob sheets?” I ask.
“No. I can’t. I ordered new ones from Amazon today. I don’t know what they did with mine.”
“You order from Amazon like us mere mortals?”
“Amazon has Mulberry Park sheets, so yeah, in a pinch, I can order from Amazon.”
I give him a small grin, but he turns back to his brand-new Apple laptop.
“You okay?” I’m not leaving until I get some answers from him.
He nods but doesn’t say anything. I’m not letting him get away with this.
I lean against his desk, touching his arm with my hip. I cross my arms and stare down at him.
“You’re mad at me.” I have no idea what I did. Maybe he thought about what a deeper relationship with me means and decided I wasn’t worth it. That’s what Rick did. Maybe Seth just came to that conclusion before taking things too far.
He shakes his head but won’t look at me. On his screen is a spreadsheet with a bunch of numbers that make no sense to me.
I reach over and place my hand on his chin, his stubble pricking my fingers, forcing him to look at me. “Seth. Talk to me.”
His eyes roam up and down my body, and he scoots away. “You’re positively indecent.”
I snort. “Have you been watching Pride and Prejudice ?” Then I realize I’m wearing what I sleep in. A tight tank top with no bra and very short shorts.
He sighs and runs a hand along his face. He meets my eyes, and for the first time I realize it isn’t anger there, but sadness. He’s not mad at me at all. I read this whole situation wrong. Something happened while I was dancing with Abi.
He leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees. “You have always been my mei mei , my little sister. When you were in college, things shifted a bit, and we became friends. Maybe even best friends. I call you before I call anyone else. But I still thought of you as my sister.”
I don’t like where this conversation is going. I cross my arms and debate just running out of here so I don’t have to face the coming rejection.
“But then I saw you in person, and from the second I laid eyes on you, I knew I’d never think of you that way again. You are a woman. Gorgeous in every way, and my feelings toward you changed in an instant. And it was more than sexual attraction. You held that silly sign that said you want to have my babies, and my first thought was, ‘Sign me up.’ We can have as many babies as you want. Then, when you sat in the car next to me, I knew you felt the spark too. But of course I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. When we started working together, I saw you in yet another light. You’re such an incredible woman. You make me want things I didn’t even know I wanted.”
He stands up and shuts the door, and I swear the temperature in the room rises ten degrees. He drags his chair closer. For a second, his hands hover next to my hips, but he drops them.
“I want so badly to touch you. To run my fingers along that sliver of skin between your shirt and pants. To kiss that spot where your neck meets your shoulder. To hold you in my arms and never let you go. I want you. All of you.”
My mouth goes dry. I don’t know what I was expecting when I came in here tonight, but it wasn’t this.
I lean down so I’m looking him in the eyes. “So take it. I’m yours. Because newsflash, I feel the same way.”
A sad smile crosses his face. “I know.” He scootches back and glowers, but not at me. “But we can’t do anything about it.”
“Why not? I don’t understand. You’re my best friend. There’s no reason not to pursue this. Last I checked, we’re both consenting adults.” Part of me is a little hurt. I can’t figure out why he would do this.
Seth’s face twists. “Because at the party tonight, your dad cornered me.”
I laugh. He’s always scared the boys a little, but I can handle him. He’s harmless. “Don’t worry about him. He’s always been overprotective, and he’ll get used to it.”
Seth hesitates for a moment and grabs my hand. He rubs his thumbs along my palm. I don’t know why he’s making such a big deal about this. I don’t care what my dad thinks.
“No. You don’t understand. Your dad is the only barrier between us and Green Bank. They want his land.”
I already knew that. But my dad tells them to go to hell every time they come knocking.
“He wouldn’t sell out because you and I had a relationship. Now, if you break my heart, he might, but he’s not that dumb. Todd is his very best friend. Plus, he loves that place.” Which is true. He loves it even though it’s falling apart, and he doesn’t have the money to fix it up. I love it even more than he does. I can’t believe he’d consider selling out.
“Fathers do strange things to protect their daughters. He knows we’ve been friends for a long time, and he sees the chemistry between us like everyone else. He says your happiness is too important to him, and he thinks I’ll run off and break your heart. He made it very clear that, if I even think about crossing that line, he’ll sell out, and we’ll be done for. He was emphatic. I cannot risk my family’s livelihood. I’m sorry.”
Dread pools in my stomach, and I pull back. I can’t believe my dad would stoop that far. And I have no idea what my dad has against Seth.
“So we can’t even be friends?”
“I’m not letting you go. We’ll still work together and maintain our friendship. Eventually, we’ll work something out, but for now, we need to keep things platonic. After the summer, you can go to D.C., and I’ll head out to India. Once my project is over, I’ll come to D.C., and we’ll see how things go without your dad interfering. It’s not long if you really think about it. Though, now that everything’s out in the open, I don’t know how I’ll handle being in the same room with you and not want to kiss you senseless.”
I snort. “The feeling is mutual. Let me talk to my dad. We might still be able to make this work.” My second thoughts over going to India are growing stronger, but we can talk about that later. Plus, it seems like he’s settling in, so maybe he’ll decide not to go.
Seth reaches out and grabs my hand again. “I can’t risk the resort, Mae. It means too much to the people I love. I have to protect them.”
After everything that Todd has done for my dad, I can’t believe he’d be this ridiculous. They’re practically brothers, and he’d go and betray Todd because of a possible romance between me and Seth. I swallow my anger because I don’t want Seth to see it, but Dad and I are going to have words about this. I will not let him ruin this resort.
“This place has been my second home, and I can’t believe he’d do this. Let me talk to him. That’s it. Then we’ll see.” I head for the door. Nothing more will happen tonight, and I need to wrap my head around all of this.
Seth leans back in his chair and rests his feet on his desk. “You do realize that at some point, I’ll probably kiss you.”
I grab the door handle so I don’t jump into his lap. “I’m counting on it. But first, let me make sure that kiss doesn’t cost you all this.” I wave my hand around the room.
He nods, and I disappear out the door before I make a mistake that could ruin everything.