8. Mae
EIGHT
Mae
I think about grabbing a golf cart and taking a shortcut across the farm to my dad’s place, but I need to clear my head before I go home. At this point, I’d probably tear into Dad’s bedroom and beat him with pillows before talking to him. I need to calm down.
I run back to the bunkhouse, quietly change my clothes, and then jump into my trusty junker and hit the gas. I grip the steering wheel, and my vision blurs with anger a few times, but I still manage to stay on the road.
After a few miles, I reach the Green Bank Observatory, which is surrounded by towering pine trees. The massive dish comes into view, lit up in the dark space. I park in a visitor spot. Leaving my phone behind in the vehicle, I make my way down the winding path toward the lab and punch in the familiar code that unlocks the door. Every step calms me just a little bit. The quiet hum of scientific equipment fills the air as I step inside. This is my sanctuary, a place where I can connect with the wonders of the universe.
Even though it’s late, the observatory still bustles with activity. I pass most of the labs and head to my favorite spot in the whole world. The one where the search for aliens happens.
I push open the door to the SETI Lab. I don’t recognize most of the people here. They’re young, probably graduate students, and they have a couple of people sitting among them with their skin painted green and wearing headbands with alien eyes.
In the corner is the man who taught me everything there was to know about life outside our galaxy.
Dr. Harrison’s face is lined with wrinkles, deep grooves etched by years of studying the stars. His beard is gray and unkempt, and his glasses perch on the end of his nose. As he spins around, his chair creaks and groans under his weight, but his smile is bright.
“Mae, you’re back.”
“I am.”
He turns to his computer without a word and studies his screen again. He’s always been like that. He knows nothing of my personal life, and he speaks of one thing and one thing only—aliens. And I love him for it. Here, I can get lost in the tiny blips on the screen that might mean something important. Here, I don’t have to think about how sucky my life is or that my dad is interfering again.
I take the chair next to him and study the screen. I don’t recognize anything, which means it’s new research.
“Whatcha looking at?” I ask.
He doesn’t take his eyes off the screen, but he starts going on about lasers and the Milky Way, and I don’t understand a bit of it. For some reason, my brain doesn’t grasp science or math, no matter how hard I try.
Which is why, even though SETI is the only company I’d ever want to work for, I’ll never be able to. I long ago came to terms with it, but I still come here and listen to Dr. Harrison talk. He gives me odd jobs, things that I don’t fully understand but can do, and sometimes the graduate students take pity on me and explain things in plain English. Which helps, but still isn’t crystal clear.
The screen goes blank, and Dr. Harrison rubs his eyes and turns his attention to me. “It’s been four years since you went off to college.”
I nod.
“And did you graduate?”
“Yep.”
“Good. Think we can find you a job here before you go to graduate school?” He has no idea my degree isn’t in astrophysics.
“No. I’m working out at the Blackwood Family Farm for the summer, and then I have an internship in D.C. in the fall.”
He blinks at me for a minute. “At NASA? Congratulations. I always thought we would get you here, but that’s a step up. Don’t forget us little guys.”
“No. Not NASA. A marketing firm you’ve never heard of. Plus, you know I’d never abandon you for them.”
His screen lights up again, and his face turns back toward it. “Can I help with anything?” I ask.
He shoves a notebook at me and points at the screen. “Every time you see a green dot, note the exact time to the millisecond.” He thrusts a timer into my hands as well and goes back to his computer.
The lab is mostly quiet. People take their work seriously, including Dr. Harrison. This is a great distraction from my anger at my dad. Every time the feelings bubble up, I concentrate harder on my screen, and they go away. After a couple of hours, the numbers start running together, and the screen goes blank once again.
“Thanks, Dr. Harrison. I’m heading home.”
He takes the notebook and checks the times but doesn’t acknowledge me. I shake my head and leave.
The second my butt hits the driver’s seat of my car, I think about Dad again. He’s threatening not only me and Seth but the whole Blackwood family, their employees and all the visitors who love the place. I clench my jaw and try not to drive too fast.
It doesn’t take long, and I pull into the driveway at three a.m. Dad won’t be up for another few hours, and I really should get some sleep. I should’ve slept at the bunkhouse and come in the morning, but I’m too impatient.
Dad’s bedroom is upstairs and on the opposite side of the house, so he won’t hear me come in. I could go back to my room, but I want him to know I’m here when he gets up. He has a lot of explaining to do. I gather a few blankets and pillows from the hall closet and collapse onto the couch.
I pull out my phone and scroll through the photos I’d taken of me and Seth over the last couple of weeks. Pictures that were innocent, but also, I’ve never seen either of us so happy before. There’s light in our eyes that I can’t describe.
I set my phone down on the floor and pick up Chunk, my dad’s too-fat cat who is meowing at me. I mutter a prayer of patience for my father while Chunk settles into the crook of my arm, and even though I don’t think I can, we both fall asleep.
“Mae. Mae.” Someone gently shakes my shoulder. I blink my eyes open. Dad stands over me with two coffee cups in hand.
“Good morning,” he says with a chuckle. “You want some?”
He holds out the cup. I struggle to sit up and then realize Chunk is on my chest. I push him down to my legs, and he growls but doesn’t jump off the couch.
“Thanks.”
“What are you doing here?” Dad still hovers over me, and I’m half-tempted to shove him away. He just can’t get it through his thick skull that I’m an adult and can make my own choices. I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry with him.
I stretch and curl my legs underneath me. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d come over and give you a piece of my mind.”
His lips form a straight line, and he sinks into the chair across from me. “I see. What did I do this time?”
“You told Seth to stay away from me.” I clench the blanket with my fists.
He sighs. “I didn’t tell him to stay away from you. I told him to keep things between you as just friends and work colleagues.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. He has no right to dictate my life.
“I’m twenty-two. And that doesn’t make what you did any different.”
“You’re too young for him. He’s thirty-four, and you’re just out of college.”
“Unfortunately for you, that’s none of your business.”
Dad leans forward, the lines on his face deeper this morning than normal. I don’t ever talk to him this way. I’m usually pretty obedient because I don’t want people to dislike me. But he crossed a line.
His face softens a little. “I know you and Seth have been friends for a long time. Abi has hero-worshipped him since you were children, but he’s not really a good guy. He broke his mom and dad’s hearts. He’ll do the same to you. I will not stand by and watch that happen.”
“First of all, you don’t know what Seth’s motivations were. And when Todd needed him, he came back. Maybe he should’ve come back before, but he’s here now. And, Dad, I need to make my own mistakes. You can’t interfere like this.”
He runs a hand over his thinning hair and scowls. “You forget that you and Abi talk loudly. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve overheard you two talking about Seth’s womanizing ways. How he likes girls who present him a challenge, and then he drops them when he gets bored.”
Dammit. We did talk about him a lot.
“People change.” Besides, I know the reason Seth dated and dropped girls so quickly. He dated shallowly. He was never friends with them before. Our relationship would be completely different. It’s still risky, but I can’t see him treating me the same way. Plus, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him date anyone.
“I thought that about Susan too. People don’t change.”
That was a low blow. He never talks about Mom, and he knows I want more answers out of him. To bring her up now is manipulative and mean.
“This isn’t about Mom.”
He sits back and stews for a minute while I wait for him to speak.
“Look, I watched all those boys grow up. They’re all like sons to me. Except Seth. He was restless and arrogant from a very young age. He picked fights with Todd, and he never listened to me. He hasn’t changed a bit.”
“That’s a weak argument. Seth isn’t a teenager anymore. There’s more. Something you’re not saying.”
He shouldn’t be that petty. He knows people can change. He did. His temper has softened over the years since Todd brought him into the church. He’s not usually this judgmental either.
Dad sips at his coffee and glowers at me. “Fine. There’s more. When you and Rick were together, you were happy. He’s settled in D.C., which is perfect for you. Even if Seth were to give up his womanizing ways, he’ll end up in one of two places. And I don’t want you stuck here, and I certainly don’t want you in another country halfway around the world.”
I take a second so I don’t shout at him. But I want to. I want to so bad. “Stop trying to control my life. Maybe I don’t want to live in D.C.”
Dad narrows his eyes. I took the internship because Dad was so excited about me working for a big corporation in the city and also because I wanted to be close to Rick. What I really wanted to do was come home and figure out how to help my community. But to Dad, that’s settling. And I didn’t want to disappoint him.
“Of course you do. You don’t want to stay here. You’ll get stuck here.”
“Why is that the worst thing in the world? I love it here. The whole time I was in college, all I wanted to do was come home.” It was a smaller town in Virginia, but it still felt too big for me.
“He’s already gotten into your head. If you two pursue a relationship, I will have no choice but to sell out.”
“I can’t believe you would be that vindictive. That you would hurt so many innocent people.”
“It’s not vindictive if you’re standing up for the ones you love. I’m not doing it to be malicious. I’m doing it to make sure that my only baby girl gets everything she deserves. And you won’t change my mind on this. Stay friends. I would never ask you to give that up. But if I so much as get a whiff of any funny business, I’m going straight to Green Bank with the deed. I mean it, and Seth knows I mean it too. Don’t put his family’s business on the line for a few stolen kisses.”
“Dad. This is ridiculous.”
“Says you. I say it’s protecting my child.”
I stomp my foot like a petulant toddler and storm out of the house. I’m not staying here and listening to his nonsense for a second more.
* * *
The sun sets, casting a warm glow over the family barbecue by the river, and I find myself snugly sandwiched between Mark and Abi. Most of the other brothers are sitting near us, except Jacob. He’s down by the river with Ollie and Terry. The kid’s got a life vest on, and Terry is in the water, but he keeps managing to escape, and Jacob has had to rush downriver more than once.
The sound of laughter and chatter fills the air, but my eyes are drawn to Seth as he arrives. He walks toward his father, who stands by mine, and my heart races. I quickly drop my gaze, not wanting to give away my feelings for him. Deka leaves her spot next to Bisbee and Gilbert, who are eyeing the snack table with longing, to greet Seth with her stub of a tail wagging.
This is mostly just family, but a few of the guests manage to snag invites. A pretty blonde stands closer to Seth than I’d like, but he shrugs her off and gives me a grin.
Abi nudges me. “Looks like your boy toy has arrived.”
Mark snorts into his beer. “That’s my cue to abandon this seat and let him sit here.”
I grab Mark’s arm. “No, you need to stay. Seth can’t sit by me.”
“Why not?”
I don’t know what to say. My dad didn’t make us promise not to tell anyone, but if we told Todd and Terry, he’d be upset. The siblings though—that might be a good place to start.
I glance around. “Let’s wait a few minutes. I don’t want to tell you guys without Seth. But there are issues.”
As if on cue, he appears in front of us. He hands Mark another beer and me and Abi seltzers. He seems to be avoiding my eye, but it’s not working. He keeps looking at me. I try to keep the smile off my face, but I’m probably not succeeding either.
“Seth, we should tell them.”
He raises his eyebrows. “Why?”
“Because we need people to vent to. And Dad never said we couldn’t tell anyone.”
“Tell us what?” Abi eyes us suspiciously.
“It was implied.” Seth completely ignores her, and I look to her but don’t reply yet.
“He’s already keeping us apart. I’m not listening to anything that’s implied.”
“What are you guys blabbering about?” Abi throws her hands on her hips and glares at us.
Seth lets out a sigh. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, but if you want to, go ahead.”
That’s all the permission I need. Seth drops into a chair on the other side of Mark, and I spill the whole story.
“That’s asinine,” Mark says. “He’d ruin everything. There’s no way in hell he’d do that to Dad.”
“We can’t take the chance that he would. This is your home, your livelihood. Mark, you’ve given your whole life to this place. I’m not going to ruin that,” Seth says, his face twisted. The fact that he’s worried so much about his family makes me appreciate him even more.
Mark takes a drink of his beer, a somber look on his face. “Are you sure you want to put all that work into this place, knowing it can be taken away in a second if Keith sells out on a whim? I didn’t realize he’d even considered it.”
Seth clenches his jaw. “As long as I stay away from Mae, we’re fine.”
“I just sat here and listened to y’all negotiate like a married couple over whether or not to tell us. You won’t be able to do it. If Keith’s gonna be an ass, I say call his bluff now before you dump hundreds of thousands of dollars into this place. If he knows he can threaten you with that, you’ll always be on edge.”
Seth shakes his head. “I’ve already dumped money into it. And it’s not about that. I can’t do that to Dad. It’ll be fine. Mae and I can be professional about this whole thing.”
Levi approaches, carrying a red Solo cup, and drops a hand on Seth’s shoulder. “I know at the dance you claimed you wore suits because Mom called them fancy parties, but this is a barbecue. T-shirt and shorts are required.”
Seth’s still wearing his tie, and he looks damn good.
“I came straight from work. I didn’t have time to change.”
“You work up at the office, and your cabin is less than a five-minute walk. You had time to change.” Levi snorts and shakes his head. “See, this is the problem. You left us all and decided you’re better than us.”
“That’s not true. I left Green Bank, not you. And I won’t apologize for going out and making something of my life.”
Mark reaches over and hits Levi’s arm. The cup tips and drenches Seth in bright red liquid. He splutters, curses them, and storms off. Part of me wants to chase after him, but that would be a bad idea. He’s going back to his cabin to change.
Images of Seth wearing nothing but his boxers pop into my head, and I swallow. I really shouldn’t follow him.
Levi takes Seth’s abandoned seat with a chuckle, and I welcome the distraction to my fantasy because I’m seconds away from following him.
“That wasn’t very nice,” I say and punch Levi’s biceps. I swear, even though they’re all older than me and Abi, they act like children sometimes.
“What are you hitting me for? Mark’s the one who spilled the drink.” Levi gives me an innocent look, and I want to smack him again.
“You two planned that.”
“Yeah, well, he prances around here like some pretentious asshole. Those suits cost more than my car. He needs to stop wearing them.” Levi is completely unapologetic. But if they keep acting like this, they’ll chase him away for good.
“You two need to stop ruining them.”
Mark gives me a long, hard look, then sighs. “As long as he’s wearing suits, he’s putting himself above the rest of us. His plan to change this place up is a good one, but it’s never gonna work if he doesn’t see us all as equal partners. Though I have to admit, his sheets are amazing.”
I gape at him. “You’re using the sheets you stole from him?”
“I washed them first. But yeah, I wanted to see what the big deal was. By the time I was ready to give them back, he’d already ordered new ones, so I kept them.”
These guys are impossible.
“I, for one, hope he never stops wearing the suits.” I do sorta see their point, but I understand Seth too. And I love the look. He’s not the same as the rest of them, and that’s okay.