Chapter Nine #2
He smiles. “I hope so.” I told him earlier that I’m staying for Christmas, and that I’ll take time to think seriously about his offer.
“I won’t keep on,” he says. “You know I think it would be great if you stayed. But I will say this. The area needs PAWS. There are a lot of people here who are struggling, and the system is letting them down. It’s going to be a challenge to get the place up and running, but neither of us is afraid of hard work.
And helping others is a sure way to make you feel better about yourself. ”
I hadn’t thought of it like that. I’ve been thinking that I don’t deserve to stay, but he’s reminded me that a lot of people will benefit if the center works as we hope it will. And if I contribute to it, he’s implying that it could be a cathartic experience for me.
I don’t reply, but he claps me on the shoulder as we approach the Ark, presumably conscious that his words will linger.
Leaving him to chat to some of the others, I go into the Forever Home and check on the animals, take them to the yard, and do a little training.
Then when Max comes back, he helps me feed them all, and we give the dogs a brush and a bit of fuss.
They’ll get another walk when Ed comes on shift in a few hours, but for now they’re happy to go back into their crates and settle down for a snooze.
Max and I head outside. It’s now just gone five, and things are livening up a little. The clinic has closed for Christmas apart from emergencies, and although the vets and nurses will still go to check on the animals in the Hotel, everyone’s pretty much done for the day.
They’ve turned the music up a bit, and for the first time they’ve opened a mobile bar and they’re serving champagne and cocktails. Noah’s paid for a couple of minibuses for the evening to take people home so they don’t have to drive.
There’s hot food, too—mostly vegetarian or fish as it seems a bit crass to fry steaks on a barbecue in front of a veterinary surgery, but there are lots of tasty appetizers, from summer quiches to salmon rolls to veggie pizza bites.
Everyone’s taking the opportunity to catch up over a drink while they nibble snacks and sip drinks, and I know it won’t be long before the girls start dancing.
I mingle. Talk to Jude and Beth, Albie from IT and his girl, Remy, to Hal’s brother, Ryan, who’s come home with his girl, Clio, for Christmas, and to each of the Three Wise Men—Brock, Charlie, and Matt, who are all there with their wives.
With each conversation, I move closer to my target, and then finally I end up beside Isla at the food table.
“Hello,” she says. “I wondered when you’d sidle up.”
“Busted. I didn’t want to look too obvious.”
She chuckles. “Enjoying the party?”
“Yeah, actually.”
“You sound surprised.”
“I’m not really a party person.”
She finishes off the piece of Christmas cake she’s eating and removes crumbs from her lip with her finger. “Me neither, but everyone here is so nice, it doesn’t feel too stressful.”
“Mm.” I’m distracted by her mouth. I want to kiss her, but I can’t do it in the middle of the Quad.
I glance around. Max is over with half a dozen kids on the children’s playground. It’s now or never.
“Want to go for a little walk?” I ask.
She looks up at me with those amazing turquoise eyes. Then she nods. “Okay.”
We finish off the last mouthful of champagne in our glasses, move to the edge of the Quad, then walk slowly around the end of the Ark, heading for the path around the paddocks. Ghost comes with us, content to pad quietly by our sides.
The sun is low to the west, and it’s a beautiful, warm evening.
The calm sea looks like a sheet of beaten gold.
I can smell the cooked food mingled with the honey-like scent of the jacaranda trees and the citrus aroma from the lemon trees behind the Ark.
In the background, Judy Garland is singing, telling us to have a merry little Christmas.
Neither of us have brought a hat or sunglasses, but it’s late enough in the day that the sun isn’t too bright or hot. The sea breeze brings a touch of freshness to the humid air.
“There was a cyclone here a few years ago,” I say. “It did a lot of damage to the Ark.”
“Oh no, really? How awful.”
“They’ve done well to rebuild it so fast. You’d never know.” I gesture in front of us to where a large, old oak tree spreads its branches over the gate into the paddock. “This is where they occasionally hold weddings.”
“Aw,” she says. “What a lovely place to get married.” She goes over to the fence and leans on it.
I join her, and we watch Hector the horse having a drink from the trough, while Ghost lies in the shade. “Yeah, I was a witness at a double wedding just a couple of weeks ago. Two couples from Waiheke Island.”
“How romantic.” She gives me a playful look. “Have you brought me here to propose to me, Cullen?”
I chuckle. “I’d consider it, but I think it might be a bit premature when I haven’t even kissed you.”
She bumps my shoulder with hers. “Have you brought me here to kiss me?”
“Would you run a mile if I said yes?”
She wrinkles her nose and gives a little shake of her head. “I was kinda hoping…” She smiles, and my heart lifts.
The evening sunshine casts dappled light over us.
Her brown hair has turned coppery again.
She’s pinned it up to keep it off her neck, but several long strands have tumbled down throughout the day to curl around her face.
Her earrings are made from paua shell in the shape of Christmas trees, shining blue and purple.
Her eyes, framed by long brown lashes, topped with a touch of glittery eyeshadow, are stunning.
I turn to face her, and she pushes off the fence and faces me, too. I take her face in my hands, stroke my thumbs across her cheeks, and then lower my head.
At last…
Relief and pleasure fill me as I press my lips to hers a few times. She rests her hands on my chest, clutching my T-shirt, holding me there. Her breath whispers across my lips, and when I lift my head she gives a little, “Mmm…” of appreciation.
I look into her eyes, and we study each other for a moment.
The world around us is still, as if the evening is holding its breath, waiting to see how this plays out.
A tui bird calls from above us, nicknamed the parson bird because of the white bobble at its throat, reminding me that this is where other couples have stood to declare their love.
It’s too soon for that… but it feels as if the air is filled with hope that sparkles like glitter.
“Kiss me again,” she murmurs.
“Yes, ma’am.” As I lower my mouth to hers, I slide my arms around her, pulling her close to me, and she lifts her arms around my neck.
I tilt my head to the side, changing the angle of the kiss, and touch my tongue to her bottom lip.
When she opens her mouth in response, I slide my tongue against hers, and we exchange a long, lazy, luxurious kiss that makes me feel like a sleepy grizzly bear waking from hibernation.
My body stirs, hairs rising all over, my pulse picks up, and a tingle runs from the nape of my neck all the way down to the base of my spine.
When I finally lift my head, her eyes look as sleepy as I feel, as if the warm evening and the stunning view have cast a spell over us.
“Mmm,” she murmurs again. “That was nice.” Then, to my surprise, she rests her cheek on my shoulder and gives me a cuddle.
I rub her back, wondering if she feels weird kissing someone who isn’t her husband. If she feels disloyal.
“You okay?” I ask.
“I’m better than okay. I feel happy, for the first time, I think, since Jack died.”
I rest my lips on her hair, thinking about her words. Then I say, “Do you think he’d like the thought of us seeing each other?”
“He’d love that I’ve broken up with Rob, and I know he adored you, so yeah, I’m sure he would.”
“That was a nice thing to say.” I look out to sea, thinking about her words. Guys don’t talk about their feelings, but we trusted one another, and we were close.
“Cullen… If your positions had been reversed, would you have blamed him for your death?”
“No.”
“Would you have wanted him to punish himself for it?”
I don’t reply, but the answer is also no.
“I know you’re not ready to let it go yet,” she says. “But you will be. Have faith.”
I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of her in my arms, the touch of another human being, such a small thing, but it feels like forgiveness.