Chapter Ten
Isla
A little later, after we’ve returned to the party, I’m mingling and chatting to people when someone says, “Isla? Can I have a word?”
I turn to see Nix smiling at me, and say, “Of course.”
She gestures with her head toward the Ark, and I follow her into the building’s main office.
Nix is Leon’s wife. She’s also his PA, which some of the others at the Ark think is funny because he used to be very strict about relationships in the workplace.
“Everything okay?” I ask as she perches on the edge of a table. The place is empty, the fairy lights on the tree twinkling gently.
“Yes, fine.” She hesitates. “I’m sorry to do this now… I’d hoped to catch you earlier in the week, but it’s just been crazy busy.”
“That’s okay, no worries.”
“I wanted to see you before the holidays though, as I wasn’t sure how long you’d be staying for.”
I perch on the table opposite her. “I have the bach until January the second. I’m not sure what I’ll be doing after that.”
She’s a pretty woman, with blonde hair she wears in braids pinned up like a Viking shield maiden.
“That’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about.
I hope you don’t mind, but Leon mentioned to me that you’d had some trouble at home.
If you’d rather not talk about it, that’s absolutely fine, and I hope I haven’t upset you by saying that. ”
“Not at all.” I’m a little embarrassed, but I know they weren’t just gossiping. Beth told me that Leon has delivered a presentation to the prime minister on domestic violence, and so obviously Nix knows a lot about it too.
“I just wanted to say that if there’s anything Leon or I can help with, you only have to ask. We have a lot of connections through the Women’s Refuge.”
My face heats. “Oh, I think you may have the wrong impression. I’m not, like, a battered wife or anything.”
I thought she’d feel awkward about suggesting it, but to my surprise she just meets my gaze calmly.
“Violence is violence, Isla. There are lots of women in your position. No matter what level of abuse they’ve suffered, none of them are victims, none of them deserve what they’ve suffered, and none of them should be embarrassed about what they’ve been through. ”
I swallow hard against a sudden wave of emotion. “You’re right,” I say in a husky voice. “I’m sorry.”
Her expression softens. “You have absolutely nothing to feel sorry about. I’ve talked to a lot of women in your position and written up the interviews for Leon’s work with the Ministry, so I have a little understanding of the issues you might be facing with deciding what to do.
I just wanted to say that if you need any help, you can always come to us—him or me. ”
I hesitate, looking at my hands. My wedding ring glitters in the fairy lights. I haven’t been able to face taking it off yet. It’s supposed to symbolize eternal love. I was prepared to try to make it work. But what do I do when my husband has made the marriage untenable?
I look back up at her. She has kind eyes, and even though it’s hard to ask for help, this seems like a good place to start.
“Do you know a good lawyer?” I ask softly.
She nods. “We have connections with a couple who have a really good understanding of issues like this. I can give you their names and numbers. Or I can book you an appointment after Christmas, if you’d like me to. It’s up to you.”
“Would you do it for me?”
“Of course.” She smiles. “I’ll call Gavin Fairfax. He’s patient and kind, but he’s also extremely good at his job.” She tips her head to the side. “Have you decided what you’re going to do after the second of Jan?”
“Not yet. I have Max to think about, and he’s just started school.
Chopping and changing schools, moving home, and leaving behind his grandparents is going to be disruptive, and I don’t know if I can do that to him.
” I pause. “And… I suppose I need to think about Rob. He is still Max’s father.
When he hit Max, I just picked Max up and walked out.
I don’t know about the legal implications of whether he will legally be able to claim access.
Max loves his dad, but of course he’s now frightened of him.
It’s really hard to know what to do for the best.”
I stop, my throat tightening with emotion.
When people hear about a woman who’s suffered from domestic violence, their first reaction is always ‘why didn’t you leave?
’ And other women say ‘Well, I wouldn’t have stayed.
’ But they don’t understand that it’s so complicated—emotionally, financially… there are so many factors involved.
“Well,” Nix says softly, “that’s why you need to speak to a lawyer.
I do know that a parent is justified in using force if the child is in danger.
So, for example, if your husband was trying to stop Max from touching a hot stove or running into the road, that’s classed as justified. Is that what happened?”
I shake my head slowly. “He was drunk, and Max was playing with his dinosaurs and bumped into him, so he lashed out and hit him across the face. He left a bruise. Max didn’t do anything to warrant it.”
“Then that is classed as abuse.”
“Couldn’t his lawyer make a case that it was the first time he’s done it, to Max, anyway, and that I’m overreacting by taking Max away and refusing to let him see him?”
“It doesn’t matter if it was the first time or the hundredth time. A parent can’t use force for the purpose of correction. It’s against the law. I can tell you now that the lawyer will say you have a duty to protect Max from injury.”
That hits me like a frying pan around my head. It’s such a simple thing, and yet it’s like a revelation to me.
“By law, you are supposed to report anyone who commits child abuse,” Nix is saying. “I expect the lawyer will encourage you to file a police report against your husband and possibly take out a restraining order. But you can talk to him about that.”
I nod.
“You okay?” she asks. “I’m sorry, have I shocked you?”
“No… well, yes. I’ve realized that it’s not a question of feeling guilty for giving up on my marriage. I have a duty to protect Max. I can’t go back to Rob.”
She reaches out a hand and rubs my upper arm. “How do you feel about that?”
“I feel…” I blow out a long shaky breath and press my fingers to my lips.
“I feel like the sun has come out,” I whisper, my voice little more than a squeak.
“I kept feeling as if I was weak for giving up on my marriage. I mean, before this, Rob wasn’t a bad father.
He had a good job. Lots of women are in a worse situation than me. ”
“Isla, none of that matters. The fact is that you deserve better. You deserve to have a man who loves you and who treats you like a queen. We all do. Forget about Max for a moment. What do you want?”
I give a short laugh. “I don’t know. I haven’t even thought about it.”
“Do you want to stay in Auckland? It makes sense if you’d rather be near your parents for support.”
I frown. “I love my folks, and of course since Jack died it’s been nice to be there for them. But they only want what’s best for me and Max.”
“So what would you like to do?”
I don’t have to think long to answer. “I’d love to live in Sunrise Bay permanently. It wouldn’t be a bad thing, would it, for Max to live somewhere quieter, in an area we both like? And to go to a village school with smaller classes?”
“Of course not. I’m sure he’d love it.”
“It’s not as if he had hundreds of friends where we were anyway, and he loves it at the Ark. I’d have to get a job, of course, and I don’t know if the Ark would be able to employ me full time, but I’d work anywhere, I wouldn’t care, and I have some savings.”
“Obviously I can’t speak for Leon or Noah, but I do know you’ve made a great impression here already.
Even if there wasn’t a full-time job available, I’m sure they’d love to have you on the books for part-time.
” She gives me a mischievous look. “Might there be another reason you would want to stay? A reason that has a gruff voice, messy hair, and a German Shepherd?”
I blush. “Is it that obvious?”
“Leon said it was clear that Cullen likes you.”
“Oh!” My head spins. “I… I can’t let him influence whether I stay. I don’t even know if he’s going to be in the area next year.” I don’t add that we’ve only had one kiss, and it’s hardly enough to build a relationship on.
But she shrugs and says, “He was going to leave before Christmas, and now he’s staying. Why do you think that is?”
“Because Archer’s asked for his help with PAWS.”
Nix smiles. “I don’t think that’s the reason.”
I blink. “You mean he’s staying for me?”
“Let’s just say I think the thought of spending time with you sweetened the deal.”
“Oh…”
“Well, I am sorry for approaching you during the party,” she says.
“I hope I didn’t upset you too much. I just wanted you to know that if you need help or advice at any point, we’re here for you.
I’ll give you my phone number, and you can call me at any time.
Although I suspect you’ll have someone else to call on over Christmas. ” She smiles again.
Fighting against another blush, I program her number into my phone. “Thank you, I do appreciate it.”
“I’ll let you know when I book you an appointment with Gavin. What are you doing for Christmas, anyway?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. My parents were horrified at the thought of me and Max spending it alone, but I just had to get away.”
“I understand. Don’t tell Noah, though. He drags all the waifs and strays to his house on Christmas Day.” She grins. “Come on, let’s get back to the party.”
“I’ll just nip to the Ladies’.”
“Okay.”
“Nix… thanks.”
She hesitates, and then we exchange a hug. “You can always talk to me,” she says huskily.
“Thank you.”
She smiles and goes out to rejoin the others.
I walk through to the bathroom. After I’ve washed my hands, I lean on the basin and look at my reflection in the mirror. Then I look down at my hands.