Chapter Thirteen #2
Once she’s done that, and removed her underwear, she climbs back on.
I’m worried that I haven’t spent long enough on foreplay, but she pushes down my shorts and boxers to release my eager erection, and within seconds she’s maneuvered herself so I’m pressing into her.
Then she impales herself on top of me, and I have to stifle a groan at the sensation of being buried inside her, all the way to the hilt.
“Cullen…” she whispers, kissing me as she begins to move. “You feel so good.”
“You feel amazing. So warm and soft.”
“I want to do this all day, every day, with you.” She delves her tongue into my mouth, sliding up and down my shaft and giving a little moan every time I plunge into her.
I think about her words while she makes love to me, wondering if it’s just the wine or Christmas working its magic, or if she really meant what she said.
Is she saying she’d like a relationship?
It’s the first time either of us has come close to talking about whether we have a future together.
There are so many ifs and buts… but essentially, it’s a simple question. Do I want to be with her?
Am I going to stay?
She’s moving faster now, and so I banish it to the back of my mind, determined to enjoy the present rather than worry about what happens next.
She pushes up so she’s sitting astride me, and I slide my hands up her tee and cup her breasts, teasing her nipples while she rocks.
She drops her head back, arching her spine and pushing her breasts into my hands, and I give a husky groan, superheated at the sight of her hair tumbling down her back, and her breasts gleaming in the last rays of the sun.
She leans forward to kiss me, then bites her bottom lip and mumbles, “Mmm… oh God…”
“Yeah, baby, come for me…” I slide a hand into her hair and pull her head down so I can kiss her again, and feel her sighs whisper over my lips as she clenches around me, her body trembling with the strength of each pulse.
Ahhh, it’s fantastic to give her pleasure like this, and when she’s done I wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly, brushing my hands over her warm, damp back.
“Mmm,” she murmurs, kissing me. “That felt wonderful.” She starts moving again, giving little thrusts of her hips. “I want to make you come. I want to make you feel good.”
“You do. You make me feel amazing.”
“Do I?” she whispers. “You like my body, Cullen?”
“Mmm.” I squeeze her butt.
“You like my ass?” she murmurs.
“I love your ass.”
“And these?” She lifts my hand to her breast. “You like these?”
“I love them. You have an incredibly hot body.”
“You think so?”
“I do. It turns me on.”
“I like turning you on.”
“I can see that.”
She kisses me, tugging my bottom lip with her teeth. “I want to watch you come.”
I groan. “I’m close.”
“Quietly, Cullen,” she teases, placing tiny kisses on my lips. “Do I need to cover your mouth?”
I roll my eyes, recognizing my own words from the night before, and she chuckles, still moving on top of me. “How close are you?” she whispers.
“Very close.” Tension is building inside me. “You want me to come for you?”
Her eyes flare. “Yes.”
“Inside you, baby?”
“Oh yes…”
I close my eyes as heat sweeps up through me and then gasp as pleasure explodes. Beautiful pulses make me twitch as I spill inside her, and she kisses me as if she wants to capture my ecstasy, and keep it as proof of how she made me feel.
When I come back down to earth, I open my eyes and look up to see her watching me. The sun has almost set, and the room has grown dark, but her turquoise eyes glitter in the fairy lights.
“I’ve fallen in love with you,” she says.
I blink, my brain fogged from sex, shocked by her admission. “Isla…”
She smiles. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say it back. I know it hasn’t been long. And I’m not trying to trap you or force you to stay. But I thought you should know.” She kisses my face.
My head whirls, her words like snowflakes whipped up by the wind.
But as she kisses me, they slowly settle, and I realize what she’s saying.
She acknowledged that it hasn’t been long.
She’s not saying she loves me, because that’s something that develops over time, and it’s not something you can declare after knowing someone for only a week.
She’s saying that she likes being with me. And she’s enjoyed sharing herself with me. Right now, tonight, she’s feeling something—a little Christmas magic, maybe.
I can feel the magic too. Maybe I feel the same? However, even though I don’t want to disappoint her, I’m not ready to say it back. Instead I say, “It’s been an amazing week, hasn’t it?”
“It really has. I didn’t expect it.”
“Me neither.” I hesitate and brush my thumb across her bottom lip. “Can I ask one thing, though?”
“Of course.”
“Can we wait until tomorrow to discuss this more? It’s just… I need to get past it first.”
Tomorrow is the anniversary of Jack’s passing. It’s going to be a tough day for us both. I don’t know how I’m going to feel or react, and I don’t want to make promises I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep. But after tomorrow, I think things will be clearer.
“Of course,” she says again, pressing her lips to my nose. “No worries at all. I understand.”
“Thank you.” I cup her face and kiss her again. “You’re a wonderful woman. And I’m so lucky to have found you.” I don’t want to lose her. But I just need time, and I’m so relieved she gets that.
*
We cuddle up on the sofa and watch another movie, and then I tell her it’s time I went home. I call Ghost from Max’s room, and Isla comes outside with us and gives me a hug on the deck.
“Thank you for such an amazing day,” she says. “I didn’t think I was going to enjoy it at all, but you’ve made it a great day for Max, and I appreciate that.”
“And you’ve helped me, too. And Ghost.” I look down as she bends to pet the dog, and he lets her stroke his ears, then gives her face a lick. “You’ve both been amazing for him.”
“I’m so glad we’ve been able to help.” She pushes up, then gives me a final kiss. “So, 8:15 a.m. tomorrow?”
“Yep.” We’re both helping out at the Ark on Boxing Day, to try and help the day go more quickly.
“I’ll see you then.” She waves goodbye and goes back inside, closing and locking the door.
Ghost and I head up the road toward the B&B.
It’s dark now, but the village isn’t yet asleep.
There are parties going on with music playing, and the smell of cooked food from barbecues drifts across the beach.
Most houses have people sitting outside, chatting with a beer or glass of wine, and everyone nods and says, “Merry Christmas!” as we walk past.
I’ve fallen in love with you. Her words are like having a sip of whisky, warming me all the way through.
I should have said, Me too. Because I know I’ve fallen for her.
Of course I have. She’s all I think about.
She lights me up like a firecracker whenever I see her.
I adore her and Max, and I don’t want to lose them.
But my guilt is like a heavy stone inside me, weighing me down, and I’m afraid of how I’m going to feel. I just need to wait one more day. Then I can decide whether it’s time to move on, or whether I’m going to stay.