Chapter 44 Shane
FORTY-FOUR
SHANE
We slip into bed, and I pull Jed to me so he’s resting on my chest. I drift my fingers through his curls.
I hadn’t realized his hair was curly when I first met him, but it’s grown out a bit.
He’s not blessed with my gorgeous ringlets—not everyone can be that lucky—but they’re still pretty nice.
I pull on one. Really nice. I inhale deeply, and the minute the familiar mixture of cinnamon and Jed hits my senses, everything inside me settles.
He leans into the touch, and my stomach flips over. It’s almost like my presence is what he needs.
“How’d the Clippers do?” he asks.
“Shit show.” I can feel his grimace against my bare chest. “It’s not surprising.
A lot of shuffling going on. I’m back at short now.
Shirk took over at second. Henderson will hopefully be back soon.
” He came back for a couple Double-A games, but apparently his ankle wasn’t ready.
“Thompson was on the mound and, dude, I have no fucking clue what was wrong with him, but it was ugly.”
“Probably in a bad headspace with Araujo leaving. Those two are really close. And they were roommates.”
The room falls silent. He pushes off me and rolls to his side so he can face me.
“How…how was Devereux? Now that the news has landed.”
“Dev is as lovable as a fucking bull and we’re all wearing red. He’s pissed, JJ. They banned him from the locker room. He and Paulie were having the most violent death glare war I’ve ever witnessed in the dugout during the game.”
“Woof.”
“Yeah, like I said. Shit show. But we’ll sort through it.” I wince. “My head wasn’t really in it either. I was a bit reckless. Got picked off.”
His eyes widen.
“I know.” I tousle my hair and let out a huff. “I was just ready to steal all the way home every inning. I wanted the game over.”
“You do know that’s not how it works, right?”
I grin at him, and my heart melts at the way his eyes light up when he sees it. “Don’t question my logic.”
His gaze falls to my smile, then flicks back up. “You haven’t kissed me yet,” he whispers.
I slide a hand over the light scruff on his jaw and lean in. “Oversight.” Then I dust a kiss over his lips.
His arm comes around me and pulls me tight against him. Warm skin, hard muscles, strong hands. I sigh into him. It’s like falling into my perfect place, the spot that was created just for me.
It’s gentle and unhurried, lips drifting over lips, hands roaming quietly over skin. I map every inch, reorienting myself with his body. It hasn’t been that long, but with everything that’s passed between us, it feels like ages.
He rolls onto his back and takes me with him. I slide my hand down his neck, over his strong chest, and through his dusting of dark hair. So strong, so alive, so here. I pull on his nipple piercing, and he hisses into my mouth, his dick twitching against me.
Whoops.
He chuckles against my lips. “Careful there, or I won’t be able to control myself.”
I push up, which rubs our half-hard dicks together. I bite my lip and stare down at him: cheeks lightly flushed, lids low, lips swollen.
I’ve missed him so fucking much. I shake my head slowly. “Don’t control yourself.”
It wasn’t what I intended for tonight. I just wanted to be here for him. But now that we’re here, skin to skin, heart to heart. I need to be closer. I need the intimacy.
Jed dips his chin in a nod. He pulls my boxers down over my ass, and I help him push them the rest of the way off. He slips out of bed and shuffles around in his moving boxes. Then a bottle of lotion lands next to me. When I look up, Jed’s boxers are gone.
My heart goes from calm to chaos in the next breath.
Because there he is, all hard-earned muscles, a tease of dark chest hair over pecs I desperately want to sink my teeth into, a nipple piercing I need to sink my teeth into.
And that deep-set V that leads straight to where his cock is standing tall and proud from his trimmed black pubes. I lick my lips.
“Sunshine,” he warns, a tremor sliding through the word.
One of his knees presses into the bed, then he crawls over me.
He grabs some lotion, then slides one slick palm over me and the other over himself.
My stare is locked on his dick, the crown swallowed by his foreskin with each stroke.
My breath quickens. He’s loose with his touch, careful, almost…
reverent. It’s not a grip to get off, it’s a caress.
Then he lies back and pulls me over him again. He reaches for my hips, adjusts me until our dicks are slotted against each other.
“Like this,” he murmurs. “Slow.”
I can’t look away from those deep-brown eyes. I see it in their depths. The need for connection. I lower myself, forearms around his head. Hover there. Eyes locked.
He rocks his hips, hands gripping my ass and moving me in rhythm with him. Our dicks slip against each other, crowns bumping and grazing.
Warmth seeps into me, spreads beneath my skin, lazy and unhurried. Like standing in front of a hearth and letting the heat from the fire warm you from the outside in. Our pants mingle in the small space between us. But neither of us moves to close the distance, to break the connection.
I’ve never felt more vulnerable in my life, having someone peer into the depths of who I am while desire slides over my skin. His fingers squeeze, and he presses into me that little bit harder. But then relaxes immediately, almost like he forgot himself.
“Slow,” he says unsteadily. A reminder for himself.
I lean on one arm and run my knuckles over his angular jaw, his sharp cheekbone. “Slow.”
He grinds into me, and my eyes flutter shut as another wave of lust rolls through me. It’s subtle, like calm waters lapping at the shore. Creeping in before slowly pulling away.
My eyes drift open, and I find him watching me. Those brown eyes touch every inch of me, do the job his hands can’t because they’re locked on my hips. But I feel them, like the graze of fingertips over my cheeks, across my lips.
“I could look at you forever,” he whispers.
Then do it.
I swallow hard, and another rush of pleasure rolls over me. Stronger now. Those words settle over me, hot, heady…heartwarming.
And he knows. Because he keeps going, loving whispered words folding around me.
“I think getting lost in your eyes is my favorite place to be. So blue. So expressive. You tell stories with them, without saying a word.” His gaze dips.
“That smile. Playful. Fresh. Cocky. Even the fake one. I want every single one.”
He grips me tighter and gently rolls us so he’s on top. His hips sink deeper into mine, his heavier weight giving us the friction our heated bodies quietly crave. Our hands trade places, mine on his hips and his coming up to sink into my hair, cup my jaw.
“I want to steal you away.” His faint words wrap around my heart.
“Steal me.”
Forever.
Pressure coils at the base of my spine. My muscles clench, tighten as they wait for that bliss looming just out of reach. It’s right there, right beneath the surface.
Our ragged breaths slice through the blood thrumming in my ears.
My fingers sink into him, hold him closer, but we don’t pick up our pace.
We don’t need to. This isn’t frantic. It’s not grasping.
We don’t need to reach for it; it’s coming to us.
My body buzzes, pleasure easing in, sweeping over me.
My breath hitches, and Jed’s hips fall out of rhythm.
“Shane?” he rasps, a plea running through the word.
I nod. I’m right there too. I open my mouth to let him know, but I’m too late.
Pleasure surges in. My head falls back, a silent moan catching in my throat.
It spreads through me, curling inside me and spiraling outward.
Just when I don’t think I can handle the overwhelming pressure anymore, I erupt between us.
Jed shakes, his head dropping, lips dragging down my cheek as a deep moan rumbles from him, sinking into my skin.
He shudders, following me over the edge as the warmth of his release joins mine.
He collapses atop me, choppy breaths puffing over my ear. I glide my hands up his back, over those strong muscles, digging into those thick traps. I wish I could fuse us together.
It’s not until our breaths even out, until our heartbeats settle into a hushed, soft rhythm, that Jed pushes up. I reach for him, a whimper escaping me. He shoots me a gentle smile, one that promises he’s not going anywhere. He quickly wipes us off with the sheet before settling back over me.
He hovers there, staring down at me. “I missed you,” he whispers.
I nod, biting my lip hard as I fight the storm of emotion rushing at me.
“I missed you too.” The words barely make it past my closing throat. But I force a few more. “I’m so sorry, JJ.”
He shakes his head and drops his forehead against mine. “No, Sunshine. Don’t ever apologize for feeling. For hurting.”
“I—” My voice breaks. “I shouldn’t have cut you out. I-I shouldn’t have spent that night flirting with that woman.”
He stares down at me, and there’s not an ounce of resentment in that warm espresso gaze. Only understanding. Empathy.
“I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt,” he whispers.
“But, Shane, I understand, okay? Life isn’t simple for us.
We don’t get to just walk out the door and love a man.
Not without judgment. Not without disapproval.
I will never be upset with you for struggling with that.
The only people who deserve our anger are those who have made it so we have to struggle with that at all. ”
I swallow hard against the blockage that’s formed in my throat, but fuck-all good it does. “I don’t know why, but when I had to be strong for myself…it felt insurmountable. Every day was a battle, and where my head went…it was terrifying.”
Jed clutches me tightly, and I try to tell him with my gaze that I’m okay now, that I survived that dark place.