Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
“You want something to drink?”
That organ in her chest—it was beating harder and faster than the moment she took a life back at her apartment on Friday.
Being alone with Liam and the anticipation of what was to come was like the tantalizing promise of rain on a hot and sticky summer day.
The cool taste of a better tomorrow after a shit day in court.
She wanted him. Needed him more than that rain or a win on a case.
“You know how we get when we drink together.” A tiny smile met her lips as she unzipped her boots and tossed them.
He removed his black fleece jacket and knelt in front of the mini-bar and opened the fridge. She had a weakness for a man in well-worn jeans, and damn did he wear them well.
She resisted the urge to angle her head and study his backside. Well, not too much, at least.
“Yeah, but I’m thinking we might need something to—”
“Keep our hearts from leaping out of our chests?” She got rid of her leather jacket and the wig next. “Maybe I like the fast-paced beats.” She freed the bobby pins and shook out her mass of hair so it dropped over her shoulders and to her chest.
He stood but didn’t face her. His hands went to his hips, and he dropped his head. “You should know something.”
Oh, God. “What?”
“I want you,” he said in a husky voice. A voice that said he was hanging on the edge of his need the same as her.
But?
“I’m worried tonight won’t be enough for me.” He slowly turned, his chest expanding as he filled his lungs with air.
Her lips parted but her voice was gone. It was trapped inside the little jar she saved her father’s air kisses in when she was a kid—the kisses he used to send to her over the phone whenever he’d been deployed.
She’d saved them all. Placed those air kisses in that glass jar, a jar she still had tucked into the drawer in her nightstand by her bed.
“I’ve never been nervous about sex.” Both palms went together and his fingers steepled beneath his chin as he studied her. The blue rim of his eyes absorbed some of the green, taking over.
“Why are you nervous?” she asked, thankful she found her voice again.
He let his arms fall to his sides. “Because it’s not just about sex.” He paused, his voice deeper this time when he spoke. “It won’t be just sex with you.”
She stepped closer and placed a palm to his chest, discovering his heartbeat matched her own. Roller-coaster intense. “What will it be?” Her words were whisper light.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t know if we can .
. .” He hissed, his warm breath touching her.
“All I know is that I want to kiss you right now, but I’m afraid I’m never going to want to stop.
” He wet his lips, his eyes falling to her mouth.
“You don’t want anything serious, and I don’t . . . didn’t—shit, I don’t know.”
“I want you,” she admitted, even though a cruel pain gathered, pressing against her breastbone, “but there are things you don’t know about me. We both have bag—”
He cut her off with his mouth, and she gave in to him. Surrendered to her desire. To her need. To the rain. The wins in court. The air kisses. He was everything to her at that moment. He was what was right and good in the world.
She kissed him back, allowing him to seal his lips to hers, to suck her into the vortex of his universe where she could stay forever.
He guided her legs around his hips, and he walked them backward and to the bedroom. He shouldered open the door without losing hold of her.
“No baggage, then. Not tonight, at least,” he said against her mouth before releasing his hold of her, and her feet found the carpet.
“Okay.”
His fingers threaded through her hair.
“Make love to me like this is our first time.”
“So . . . all the sweet spots of yours I remember,” he said while his free hand worked at the button of her jeans, “I should forget?” His hand slid beneath the waistband of her panties and skimmed down to the V between her legs.
Her nipples hardened almost to the point of pain as desire eclipsed her thoughts. “Maybe you can—”
He stole her words again with his mouth, and he yanked at her jeans and shoved them down to her thighs along with her panties.
Her body collided with his, needing to be closer to him. He palmed her wet center, teasing her with feather-light touches.
She fought the urge to tilt her head back and stare at the ceiling as if the stars were visible instead. Because the way he touched her made her see light—see so far beyond it was as if she could see their future. And he was in it.
“Do you have protection?” Her voice was throaty, the achy throb of desire squeezing her vocal cords. She lifted his shirt and helped him get rid of it, so she could brush her palms over the hard planes of his muscles that he said he had to work hard to achieve.
“Yes, I have something,” he said once he relieved himself of all of his clothes and helped her finish getting undressed as well. “I want the lights on.” He was at the door and flicking on the switch before she had a chance to protest.
His legs were as muscularly perfect as the rest of him.
A tattoo of a trident on the back of his right calf.
Another tattoo of a frogman on the back of his left shoulder blade.
And then several others colored his right arm.
He was a work of art. She’d never been drawn to ink before, but then there’d never been a man like Liam standing naked in front of her either.
“I feel a little exposed right now.” She hugged her arms when he faced her.
“You’re so beautiful.” His gaze roamed from her pink-painted toenails and slowly swept north before meeting her eyes.
She did about three double takes of his impressive length and tried not to clear her throat at the shock of the size. “You’re, um, big.”
He flashed her a smile. “You really don’t remember Vegas, do you?” He ate up the space between them, and she rested her fingers on his abdomen, tracing a line with her index finger down his happy trail before wrapping her hand around his shaft and lightly squeezing.
He groaned at the touch, and she dropped to her knees without a second thought. She had to taste him.
He braced her shoulders as if he might fall as she swallowed as much of him as she could. “Emily,” he barked out gruffly. “Fuck.”
She cupped his balls with one hand and circled her tongue around his tip. When she deep-throated him; his groan of pleasure was so loud it had her doing it again.
“Stop,” he rasped a minute later, gently pushing at her shoulders for her to back away. “I don’t want to come yet.” He urged her to her feet, took her in his arms, and kissed the hell out of her. Kissed her like it was their first and maybe their last time.
His hand went to her center, and he slid his finger over her slit, rubbing her swollen pussy. He shoved his fingers inside of her. Two. “You’re tight.”
She clamped down on her back teeth.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, a throaty touch to his tone. “Last weekend the alcohol probably helped ease—”
“Stole the memories from me.” She nipped at his lip. He removed his fingers and palmed her hip. “I can handle you.” She brushed her mouth over his. “I can handle everything you give me, I promise.”
His hand dipped to the curve of her ass, and he squeezed her flesh so hard it drew a ragged breath from her. “This ass,” he growled.
“Hard-earned with my love of Italian food and Oreos,” she said with a laugh. “You enjoy the extra padding?”
“It’s fucking perfect.” He nuzzled his nose against hers.
“I have a virgin ass, by the way.” She held a finger between them and closed one eye. “No ideas.”
He tipped his head back and let loose a throaty laugh. “You.” He flashed her a smile. “I could get used to having you in my arms like . . .” He let go of his words as if he couldn’t bring himself to admit what she knew they were both feeling.
“What about your focus?” Damn it. She hadn’t meant to bring that up right now. The last thing she wanted was for his conscience to steal him from her.
The man had way more layers than he let on; he wasn’t some womanizing player. Not even close.
“Right now,” he said while brushing the back of his free hand down the column of her throat, “you’re all I’m focused on. All I want to be focused on.”
“Good answer.”
His other hand remained on her ass, and he squeezed again. “Can you turn around so I can properly admire you?”
She slowly whirled the other way, her eyes falling to the bed a foot from where she stood.
“Spread your feet apart and hold your arms above your head. Cross your wrists,” he said like a command, and she followed orders and lifted her hands in the air.
She looked to the ceiling when he trailed a palm down her spine before both his palms went to her ass cheeks.
At the feel of his tongue at her center a moment later, and from that angle—her knees buckled, and she nearly lost her balance. “Geometry.”
“What?” The word vibrated against her sensitive flesh.
“Snipers are good with angles. Geometry. I guess it comes in handy in more ways than—” A groan left her lips when he darted his tongue between her folds.
He replaced his mouth with his hand. “Only you would bring up math while I have my mouth on your pussy.” She heard the smile in his voice.
“Liam,” she cried out when his tongue returned between her legs, and she did her best to remain standing with her arms above her head.
“I think you’re warming up for me.” He lightly bit at the flesh near her hip and kissed his way up her back as he rose, then he reached around for her stomach and spun her to face him. “Keep your arms up.”
He smoothed his fingers from her wrists down to the soft interior part of her arm, tickling her, and he leaned in and sucked at her nipple.
She bucked, a desperate frenzied need for him to fill her etched a hard shot of desire through her body, and she clenched her teeth, clinging to the hope he’d ease the ache soon.
He stood and slung her arms around his neck. “Do you want me?”
“Yes, please,” she cried, not even embarrassed by the plea in her tone.
He left her to retrieve a condom and rolled it over his length, and she positioned herself on the bed, her back flat.
He climbed on top of her and kissed her mouth before whispering, “I want you so much. I’ll try to be gentle.” He positioned his tip at the center. “You sure you’re ready?”
“More than ever.”
As he slowly entered her, stretching her, she clutched at the comforter on each side.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice tender. Caring.
“Please. I need you.” Their eyes remained locked as he thrust inside of her in one fast movement.
He reached for her hands at the sides of her head and laced his fingers with hers. The muscles in his arms flexed as he held his weight above her, their palms clasped tightly.
She lifted her hips to try and take all of him, matching his pace with her own movements, arching her body, so her slit rubbed against him in the process, creating even more mind-numbing friction as they made love.
He was strong and gorgeous. There was no denying that. But his soul . . . it was so beautiful it was almost blinding.
“Emily, stay with me.” He kissed her, pulling her back to the moment. She’d let her mind distract her, and he saw it. Knew it. No man had ever been so in touch with her thoughts and her needs before.
“I’m here,” she said against his mouth.
She was on the cusp of letting go, of giving in to her orgasm, even though she didn’t want to yet. She wanted him inside of her for as long as possible.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered as they continued to move together as one. “I won’t let you go.”
He’d made love to her in the shower next. And then up against the wall. He’d said he wanted to remind her of their first time together in Vegas, and apparently—they’d been naughty that night.
“I’ve had so many orgasms I’m beginning to lose feeling south of the border.” She bent her knees in the massive soaking tub and leaned against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.
She dropped her head back to rest on his shoulder, her hair swept atop her head in a messy bun. “This is heaven.”
His hands wandered to her breasts, which skirted the bubbly water line. “I agree.”
“Can we just stay here? Pretend the world isn’t so messed up?”
“I would love that.”
“But—”
“No buts, let’s just pretend for a few more hours that people in my profession aren’t necessary in the world.” The pad of his thumb caressed her nipple. “Are you tired?”
“Not really, but my body may need a break before you make me swear in three languages again.”
“Yeah, I didn’t know you spoke French, too,” he said with a laugh.
He smoothed a hand over her abdomen beneath the water, but the little touch was a reminder of . . .
“I can’t have kids,” she quickly admitted, and his hand stilled.
“Well, probably not. I, um, have endometriosis. It’s pretty bad, and although I have the pain under control, for the most part, there’s a chance of infertility.
” Her body tensed at the memory of being in a hospital gown after the doctor performed a laparoscopic surgery when she was twenty-five to confirm the diagnosis.
“I don’t know much about that, but damn it, I hate the idea of you in any kind of pain.” He hissed a breath that touched the back of her neck. “Are you sure it didn’t hurt when we had sex?”
“No.” She glimpsed him from over her shoulder, but his eyes were squeezed closed. “Whether I can have my own children or not, I still want to be a mom. I’ll make it happen.” She looked straight ahead. “I thought you should know, though.”
“Is that why you split? When he found out?”
“I never kept it a secret from him. But when he told his mom I might have fertility issues she freaked out. He broke it off at her insistence.”
He kept his hand on her stomach but his thumb moved in circular motions near her belly button. “You’re better off without him.” He pulled her tighter against him, wrapping his arms around her in an embrace, and the beats of his heart intensified against her back.
“After we split up, I’ve done my best to keep my heart safe from getting broken,” she said, willing her voice not to crack. I’ve been waiting for someone . . . maybe someone like you?