Chapter 10 #2
“I thought you avoided military types because you were worried you wouldn’t see the signs if something’s wrong.” The back of his hand caressed the contour of her cheek, and she leaned into his unexpected touch. “And yet, here you are.”
“So, you admit there are signs I should notice?”
His brows lifted as if he were surprised, too.
“Something is hurting you. You’re hurting.” She eased closer to him when he lowered his hand from her cheek. “Not just from getting shot.”
She joined him beneath the water and reached for his left forearm, unsure where he’d been hit.
“I’m not Jaden. I’m not going to . . .” He closed his eyes, pulled free of her grasp, and turned away, setting his clenched fists on the stretch of tiled wall.
She’d expected him to say he wasn’t like Tucker, but she was clueless about who he was referring to. Her hand went to his back since he’d rejected her touch on his arm. “Who is Jaden?”
“I just need a minute, okay? Please. I’ll be fine.
” He lifted one hand from the wall, and she thought he was going to wave her off, but instead, he squeezed his palm into a fist and placed it on the wall again.
“Just go.” He looked at her from over his shoulder, a mix of rage and anguish filling his dark green eyes that glittered like wet emeralds.
“Please go. I’m going to get naked now. So, unless you want to be here for that . . .”
Feeling defeated, she dropped her hand from his back and turned to leave. But Finn took her by surprise when, faster than she thought possible with an injury, he grasped her wrist and firmly tugged, whirling her around to face him.
He raked his gaze down the length of her body, his eyes flaring at the sight of her red dress that was now soaked and plastered to her skin.
And no doubt her hard nipples poked through her thin bra.
Before she could say a word, he pulled her flush to his body and held her tight as his chest heaved with deep, anguished breaths.
And then time slowed when he eased up on his hold and slowly skated his palms up the sides of her arms, stopping at her biceps. His gentle touch was a contrast to the storm of emotions brewing in his eyes. Anger competing with something else. Lust? That couldn’t be, though.
“Tell me what’s wrong?” she whispered as his gaze dropped to her mouth. “Let me help you.”
At those words, he released her and backed up just enough to lift his shirt over his head.
He peeled it off slowly, then tossed it over the glass partition.
Before she had the chance to appreciate his exposed chest, her eyes landed on the purple bruising already starting to form.
It looked like someone had taken a baseball bat multiple times to the upper part of his left pectoral muscle.
Thank God he’d been wearing protection beneath his shirt, or he’d be in the hospital now or worse.
She stepped forward and gently touched the marks, half-expecting him to snatch her wrist again, but he lowered his focus to where her hand raced over his muscle, water continuing to glide over them both.
“You should go,” he said gruffly.
“What if I don’t want to leave you alone?”
“I’m in the shower. About to get naked. And I’m just . . .” He took a few shallow breaths as his gaze slowly drifted from her eyes down as far as he could view.
“You’re just what?” she whispered, breathless. Her world felt condensed down to this very moment, fully clothed inside the shower with Finn, while everything outside of their room was spinning out of control.
With his large palm on her lower back, he quickly pulled her closer to him, trapping her arm against his chest.
Ohhhh. She felt the bulge in his pants. The hard, hard bulge. “Are you thinking about, um, angles?” Was it stupid to attempt a joke now? Probably. But she would do anything to help ease his tension and stress. To help him. She also had no idea why he was turned on right now.
Okay, that was a lie.
She was aroused, too, even if she had no right to be. But here she was wet between her legs and not only from the shower.
“You need to go,” he murmured darkly. “Please, go. I don’t trust myself.”
“I trust you,” she answered without a second thought, and a fluttery sensation filled her abdomen. “I trust you,” she said again in a softer voice, tipping her chin up to find his eyes.
His eyelashes were wet and dark, enhancing those stunning green eyes. “I’m thinking about a lot more than angles, Jewels.”
Jewels?
Why did that name turn her on so much? No one had ever called her that before. It somehow felt fitting coming from him.
“You were shot. And something else is bothering you. So, why would you want . . .” She couldn’t even finish her line of thought. It felt absurd to say what she assumed he wanted. Sex. Because hell, what if she was reading him wrong?
But his cock was ridiculously hard. And big. So, yeah, she shouldn’t second-guess herself.
“I’m angry and tense. And you’re soaking wet in that dress. And I need to escape the past before it swallows me whole.”
The past? Her breathing picked up, and she wanted to hug this man and take away his pain. Both physical and mental. Whatever was hurting him. She wanted to erase it.
“I will not use you to escape.” And with that, he looked to the floor and let go of her.
“See,” she added in a soft voice. “I knew I could trust you.” She licked her wet lips.
“But what if it wouldn’t be using me? Because what if I need to feel something other than my pain, too?
” Her eyes closed as she struggled with how to go on.
“I haven’t felt anything in so long. I’ve been numb.
But when I’m around you, I-I don’t know. You make me feel things.”
“Julia.” The use of her name felt like a warning, but a warning about what?
“I haven’t even been able to get myself off when I touch myself,” she confessed and opened her eyes to find him staring at her, his mouth drawn tight. “I—”
“What?” he hissed through barely parted lips. “You can’t tell me something like that and . . .”
She turned her cheek, suddenly regretting her honesty. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s not a word you use often. Don’t start now.” The back of his hand once again traced her cheek, and he drew her back in to face him. “You can’t get yourself off?” he prompted, his voice still low and deep.
She shook her head in response, afraid she’d say even more crazy shit if she opened her mouth. This wasn’t the time to push him into saying something he might regret tomorrow. He could have died tonight, and he needed a safe space to handle that.
He closed his eyes for a moment, then lifted his lids as if they were heavy. And the next thing she knew, he was walking her backward to the tiled wall, and based on his hard jawline, he was biting down on his teeth as if he were pushing through his pain. “Lift your dress.”
“What?”
“Lift it,” he said again like an order.
Without hesitation, she gathered the skirt of her dress and lifted it to her waist. His big hand skated up the inside of her thigh as he leaned in so close she felt his breath against her cheek. She cried out when his fingers feathered over her wet panties.
Was this actually happening, or was she dreaming? Maybe she fell asleep while Finn was gone, and this wasn’t real.
“Can I touch you?” he whispered in her ear, the water bouncing off his broad shoulders and back, shielding her from getting sprayed.
“You already are.” She wanted to grip his biceps, to hold on to him before her legs gave out, but she kept her grip on her dress. He was ignoring his pain to pleasure her and give her something she hadn’t had in so long. Putting her needs first while he was suffering.
Then again, maybe this was the escape he appeared to so desperately need. A win-win. The moment was too intimate to only translate to them using each other, though.
“Beneath your panties. Can I touch you there?”
“Yes.” She arched into him. “Please.”
He set his forehead to hers the moment his finger dipped beneath her panties and touched her damp folds. “You feel like silk down here. Fuck, Julia.”
“Jewels,” she murmured. “I like that.”
When he lifted his head and looked into her eyes, she knew she was truly fucked. This man was going to break her. But she wasn’t sure if it’d be in a bad or good way.
His work was dangerous and—no, don’t get inside your head again. She needed this release. She needed this man to touch her more than she needed anything else right now, even if that was insane.
“Jewels,” he said on an exhale before inserting not one but two fingers inside her pussy, and she bucked against his hand, wishing the panties were out of the way.
She let go of her dress and set her hands to his abdomen instead of his chest, not wanting to hurt him, and he backed up one step.
Her fingers went to the straps of her dress, and she pushed them over her shoulders, then removed the rest of the saturated material while steadily holding his gaze. Her panties went next, leaving her in only a nude strapless bra.
His eyes snapped down to her breasts. “Bra, too. I mean, if I’m going to get you off, let’s have you fully naked while I do it.”
“Confident, huh?” she asked with a surprising smile as she unhooked her bra, and he leaned in, bringing his mouth dangerously close to hers, but he didn’t lay a kiss on her lips.
“Very,” he responded as the bra fell to the tiled floor.
He had her against the wall again in a heartbeat, the cold tile sending a shiver up her spine. His hand wandered over her flat belly down around the curve of her ass before finding its place back between her legs, never once breaking eye contact.
His fingers felt like a seductive dance over her soaked center, as if he already knew every intimate detail of her body and how she liked it. And maybe how she never knew she liked it.
Fingered by my bodyguard in Egypt. What title of an erotica film was she lost in right now? This couldn’t possibly be her life.
“You in pain?” she asked before moaning when she felt his thumb on her bud while he continued to pump two fingers inside of her.
“What pain?” he answered with a cocked head and heated look in his eyes. “I’m distracted from every fucking thing except for you, Jewels.”
She was going to come.
Too soon. Too fast.
And after not having the ability to find pleasure for so long, she didn’t want it to end because who knew when or if she’d be granted sweet surrender again.
“You feel so good.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his palm against the wall twitch as if fighting the urge to keep this from escalating further. And was it wrong that she wanted to feel the heat of his mouth on her breasts? Have him take off his pants and fill her deep in one fast thrust?
“Finn, please, don’t stop. Don’t. Oh. God.
” Her back arched off the wall, bringing her pebbled nipples against his chest, and she cried out, forgetting what it was like to come.
She was breathing heavily, gulping in the damp air as she came down from the ride of ecstasy and whispered, “Let me help you with your tension, too.” It wouldn’t be quid pro quo.
No favor. She wanted to touch him. To feel him.
His mouth snapped shut. Jaw tight. The veins in his arms popped as he now had both palms against the wall on each side of her as if he needed it for support, worried he’d collapse onto her. “No, I needed that to happen for you.”
“You needed it for me?” she asked softly. “Why?”
“I needed to see you fall to pieces from my touch. To see you lose your control.”
“You going to help put me back together?” Her legs were rubber, but she was temporarily relaxed.
Finn’s dimple appeared for one quick second as he brought his mouth to her ear. “You’re not the kind of woman to need help from any man.”
When he started to pull back, she slid her hand over his right pectoral muscle free of bruises. Then she lifted her chin and found his eyes. “And what if I want help?” What if I want you?