Chapter 16
CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
SMACK
Waking up to a blowjob is like expecting a Monday and discovering it’s Christmas. I gasped as the wet heat of Caleb’s mouth covered the head of my semi-hard cock. It took only another suck and I went rigid with need.
“So good.” I grabbed at his hair, yanking it slightly. “Don’t…stop.”
He hummed in answer, sliding his tongue along my length. His hand cupped my nutsac, giving it a teasing squeeze.
I bucked my hips, letting out a small whimper. I fucking loved being with him any which way, but Caleb taking charge? That was so fucking hot.
I breathed out slowly. I wanted to last. Caleb’s mouth was driving me crazy. His tongue was already lapping at my precum, insistently pressing at my slit.
I tugged his hair again. “Stop! I need—I don’t want to come…yet.”
Caleb huffed out a laugh as he pulled back. “Too bad if you do come fast, sir, because I’m sucking that dick.” He closed his fingers around my balls.
He returned to my cock, still shaking with laughter. And what could I do but surrender? My dick was all his, and he knew it. I gave a sharp inhale as he slurped and took me into his mouth again. My cock was so hard I couldn’t think anymore. He sealed his lips over me, taking me deeper down his throat.
I tipped my head back, my hands still buried in his hair. My thighs fell open wider, and the sounds I made would be embarrassing as hell if I cared.
I didn’t. I accepted Caleb’s gift. I began to thrust, fucking his mouth with abandon.
Caleb handled me with ease, sucking harder, taking me in until his mouth must have been sore.
Exhilarated, I fed him more of my cock. He groaned, then took me all the way in. I felt heat building in me, the need for a release stronger than my desire to make it all last. I was dizzy as the climax rushed through me.
“Caleb!” I shouted. He didn’t pull back, swallowing as my load sprayed into his mouth, down his throat. My dick pulsed with more cum, and he swallowed that too.
Afterward, we showered together, laughing and soaping each other but not taking it further. As much as I loved our sexy showers, we had to go our separate ways. Caleb had an early shift at work and then his yoga class, and I had a ton of errands to run. Without a kid in tow, I’d booked the time with appointments to get shit done like an oil change for my car and getting my teeth cleaned. Things that as a single parent, I’d juggled to do between when Erin was in school and my limited free time.
My first appointment was with Dr. Berlin. She had her dental hygienist clean my teeth, a new student who had a heavy hand with the scraping. The student chattered away, and I didn’t mind her endless questions. She was trying, learning. Dr. Berlin came in after my X-rays.
“I’m afraid you had some deep pockets in those gums, Sean.”
“Really? But I floss and take care of them.”
She shrugged. “It might be time to change to a sensitive toothpaste and buy a Waterpik. Sometimes gums just need extra attention and cleanings. It happens as we age.”
Normally, the age thing would make me wince, but I simply smiled at Dr. Berlin and thanked her. Caleb didn’t mind my age, after all. And I didn’t feel like somebody with aging gums.
I felt fucking terrific.
At the Firestone, despite my sore jaw from the student hygienist’s hard cleaning, I found myself smiling at strangers.
“It’ll be another hour,” the clerk told me. “I know you had an appointment, but we’re backlogged here.”
“No problem.” I grinned.
He gave me an odd look and shrugged. “Thanks.”
I took out my phone to read on my Kindle app but ended up staring dreamily out the window. What a beautiful day out. Maybe Caleb would want to take a late-night stroll in town? Or we could spend the night naked in bed. Or both. A million ideas of how we could spend the night occurred to me, from sweet ones to sexy ones, all these dreams filling me up.
I couldn’t stop smiling.
This was what life should feel like. Everybody should have this type of happiness bubbling inside of them. I nodded to the lady to my right, sipping the coffee. I nodded to the guy behind here, working on a scratch-off ticket.
I’d already won the lottery of life. Was that corny? Who fucking cared? I was floating, picturing how many ways I could make Caleb squirm and moan from my touch, when my phone buzzed.
I looked at the text and froze, coming back to earth with a thud.
CALEB
Being a firefighter, you’d think hot yoga was no major challenge. That thought would be wrong. By the time I’d placed my mat on the floor, removed my sandals, and done the first sun salutation, I was sweating worse than in my last job. It was like doing yoga in an air fryer. As I did my sixth swan dive, I stifled a laugh, imagining how I’d describe it all to Sean and his expression when I did so tonight.
I bent my arms and then glided forward into a cobra. As the yoga instructor encouraged us to do another position, my pervy mind thought about all the fun positions Sean and I could get into. An image of the long line of Sean’s body, his cheeks flushed like they were when he exerted himself, filled my brain. I could almost feel the whisper of his breath against my lips before he kissed me, the scent of him…
Oh geez, hot yoga was not the place for a hard-on. Time to focus on class and not how much I wanted Sean. And the yoga studio did not smell good; it smelled like feet.
I took a deep, cleansing breath. Doing my warrior two, I held out my arms, braced my legs, and held the pose. I wondered what Sean was doing, what errand he might be completing to cross off his lists. The man loved his lists and order. Curiosity to know everything he was doing, to know his every feeling, remained in my mind, even as my lust faded.
The class followed from plank to a downward dog, and I had to laugh as I stared at my feet. How ridiculous that I was imagining his smell instead of this musty room minutes ago. I couldn’t help it. I had it so bad for him. Sean had me in a spell. Even hot yoga didn’t break it.
I continued to think about Sean as I went to my shift. Kamira and I were on duty, and while she told me a silly story about her son, I daydreamed about Sean’s mouth, pressed into that firm line that I liked to kiss away. The dangerous gleam he got in his eyes just before he’d undress me…
“Hey, that was a good story, and you didn’t even chuckle.” Kamira tapped my shoulder. “What are you dreaming about over there?”
I blinked. “Sorry.”
“Right,” she said, faintly amused. “Just get the gear in order. And promise me you’ll pay attention to the next fire we go on and not be sending heart emojis to Smack.”
“Scout’s honor.”
Kamira, Phin, and the others might have worked at this station house longer, been friendlier with Smack than I had been before, but they’d be shocked at how Sean tugged me close, the pair of us laughing like idiots at rom-com movies. Or how he could be more romantic than any of those movies when he looked my way, touched me…
“Oh, shit.” I shook off the feelings. Kamira was right—I needed to focus.
For the next few hours, I did the job. My thoughts remained in check, and unfortunately, the shift ran a little late. Still, I jumped into a cool shower—my second one of the day after the gym locker room—and changed. I had suppressed my thoughts while on the job. But now that work was over, I eagerly texted him and rushed to get us some dinner. I couldn’t wait to be with Sean. Why did it feel like so damn long?
With the Chinese food secured, excitement propelled me forward to his place. A flare of need thrummed through my veins, my heart awake and demanding I hurry to see him—it really was as if I were in a magical spell. One that had a strong, maybe permanent grip on me. I sighed, so happy I could burst. If this was magic, let it never end.
The feeling only strengthened as I pulled into Sean’s driveway. My day had been a good one, but I was so ready to be with Sean. To see that smile he’d give me. The twinkle in his eyes.
I jiggled the handle, eager to put down my bags of food and kiss him.
Struggling to get the doorknob to turn while holding the food, I called out for him, knocking with my foot. The moment I saw Sean in the flesh, warmth seemed to illuminate everything.
“I brought Chinese food,” I said as he opened the door for me. “My shift ran over, and I know we talked about going out tonight, but I thought this was better. We never did get takeout and—” I stopped speaking.
Sean was standing like a statue, stiff and pale. He wasn’t smiling. There wasn’t a twinkle in his eyes. Any joy of anticipation crumpled.
“What is it?”
For a second, he stared blankly, as if he didn’t even know who I was. He rotated his jaw back and forth, grimaced as if a bad taste was at the back of his throat. Recognition skittered across his face, and for a second his eyes went tender, but it was followed rapidly by a bleakness that gave me a small shiver.
“My sister-in-law texted. I was just on the phone with her. Erin has to come home early.”
“Is she okay?” I asked, concerned.
He nodded. “Yeah, my in-laws got the flu, but she’s fine.”
“Oh, all right.” I put a hand to my chest. “You scared me a minute. I thought she was hurt or something.”
“Sorry…”
“Let me put down all this Chinese food, and we can talk.” I went past him to the kitchen. He followed me, and I started unloading the bags. “And your in-laws? Are they okay?”
“My sister-in-law is caring for them, so they’re doing all right. But it’s a lot with her kids sick, too. Erin and Rosie escaped the flu, but we all agreed she should come home.”
“Makes sense.”
Sean stared at me, his face grim. “The thing is, I might need some time with her.”
I leaned against the kitchen counter. “Sure, I get that.”
“Alone.”
“Okay…” I frowned. His tone was stiff, formal. “Look, we can eat and talk more after. You’re kind of pale, and maybe some lo mein will help. I bet you haven’t eaten since they called.”
I started to open the container when Sean stopped me. “Don’t. I’m not hungry.” He pushed the bag into my hands. “Actually, you can take it all back to your place.”
“My place?” I felt stunned. “You’re asking me to go?”
“I’m not fit for company.”
“I don’t care if you’re in a bad mood.” I touched his sleeve. “I just want to help.”
Sean rubbed his temples. “I don’t know, Caleb.”
“What don’t you know?”
“It was a good dream,” he said sadly. “But a dream…”
“What the hell does that mean?” My brain couldn’t compute it all fast enough, but a small pang of alarm started somewhere in my chest. “You don’t want me to just go for now. Is that it? What the hell, Sean? Do you not want me to see Erin at all or something?”
“Maybe not yet?”
“Are you asking me or telling?”
“Telling,” he said with real regret.
“Because she still might get sick? I’m not afraid of the flu.”
Sean didn’t reply.
Bigger alarm bells went off in my head. “We can ease her into things. She likes me?—”
“As her daddy’s friend. As a firefighter on my team, sure. But as…something else?” He shook his head. “She’s not ready.”
“She’s not or you’re not?” My head was spinning. I gripped the counter for balance.
“That’s unfair.” He exhaled, a hard line between his brows. “I’m doing my best here.”
I blew out a breath, trying to be reasonable. “All right, I’m sorry. I can step back a bit. But don’t…you look so closed off. Sean, it’s me. Just…give it a chance—” I moved from the wall toward Sean, holding out a hand.
“Caleb,” Sean cut me off. “I need some time. I’m not ready to take chances with my daughter.”
“I see.” The pain was unbearable. My entire body went numb. I wanted to reassure Sean, to say the right thing, but my mind was blank. Didn’t he get that I was all in—if he’d let me in?
“You’ve already decided, haven’t you?”
“Caleb…” His face was equally etched in pain. “I don’t want—I just?—”
“It’s fine. I’ll go.”
He looked miserable, but what was left to discuss? I gathered my things, and at Sean’s door, we exchanged some awful, awkward half hug. Like we were relatives at some long-lost reunion and not guys who, just hours ago, had banged each other so hard I saw stars.
I turned back. “Can you please talk to me? We can sit down and figure it out.”
Sean’s jawline tightened. He didn’t speak.
“So, this is the end?” I asked.
“A clean break might be best,” Sean whispered.
Giving Sean one final look, I spun around on my heels and left him with the Chinese food. Along with my heart.