Chapter 19
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
SMACK
I wasn’t even sure how I drove home from the picnic. I was on autopilot in the car; all I thought of was Erin, swinging away, her blue eyes happy. My baby girl. And Caleb, right there with us. The entire moment was so perfect—not to mention the massive relief that Caleb had agreed to go with us. That he had gazed at me with longing and offered his trust in me not to fuck it all up. He was just the most generous, amazing man… I grinned, happy for so many reasons. Fucking blessed.
At home, Erin was tired and whiny. She would feel better after her bath. I hummed as I filled the tub. My brain was already planning a fun outing for next time. I couldn’t help myself. Caleb came into my life and changed everything.
“Can we read a story, Daddy?” Erin demanded after she’d had some bath and television time.
“Okay, honey bunny. How about you pick a book?”
She brought Paddington , the gift from James had become her favorite. We read together, and I tucked her into bed.
“Did you have fun with Caleb and me today?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Good. I like him a lot,” I said simply.
“Me too.” Erin yawned. “Can we have pancakes for breakfast?”
“Sure, honey bunny.” I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a squeeze. Erin kissed my cheek, and then snuggled down with her stuffed animals.
As for me, I couldn’t sleep. I replayed every second of the picnic. Erin on the swings, showing off. Caleb sharing a donut with her. How he laughed when I brushed crumbs off his shirt. I started humming again. It took me a moment to realize it was a Chris Stapleton tune.
I spent a few days with Erin, figuring out childcare concerns since I was heading back to work. Luckily, since she’d returned from Seattle earlier than anticipated, I’d managed to arrange a last-minute spot for Erin at a science camp that would go up to her first day of school.
Caleb and I had to wait for that “tomorrow,” but he was wonderful about it, patient. Over the next few weeks, we did manage to see each other, and Caleb and I constantly texted. We were taking it slowly with Erin seeing him, but she lit up whenever Caleb came over.
So did I.
Caleb was the one who insisted he not spend every weekend with us. He didn’t want Erin to feel she had no alone time with me. I agreed with him, and we did the best we could to steal some hours during the weekdays while she was at camp.
Let’s just say we often disappeared from the firehouse on our lunch breaks.
But after a month of this, I wanted a real date night with him. At the station, I tugged him into my office to ask about it. I had learned to communicate, not assume things with him. I wasn’t perfect at it all, but I was working on it.
“God, it’s been too long.” I kissed him as soon as the door was shut.
“No quickies in your office, Captain Smack,” Caleb teased. But he licked his swollen lips and sighed.
“More time would be nice, though, yeah? That’s actually why I wanted a moment with you. How would you feel about spending this Saturday night together—all night? If you like the idea, I could approach James and Phin about a sleepover? Erin loves them, and they’ve been hinting…?” I touched the side of his face.
“Fuck yes. A whole night?” Caleb let out a little laugh.
“As much as I like our dinners with Erin, I’m aware it’s been a month of mac and cheese or hot dogs.” I leaned in toward Caleb. “Not to mention too many quickies.” I gave him a soft kiss. “What do you say?”
“Well, to be clear, I liked spending time with Erin. And I like mac and cheese just fine.”
I smiled. “I know. But I want some real food. And we both deserve a date night.”
He covered my hand with his and kissed me. “And a non-quickie with you sounds like heaven.”
The moment Erin was securely with James and Phin, I rushed to Caleb’s. I wore my best buttoned shirt and tan slacks. I’d shaved and even used some of my fancy cologne that Mom had given me for Christmas. When I knocked and Caleb answered, he was the best present I could imagine.
“Oh, you didn’t tell me to dress up. I’m in jeans.”
“You’re adorable,” I said, grabbing Caleb around the waist and spinning him in a tight circle.
“Hello to you, too.” Caleb chuckled at being lifted off his feet.
We kissed, tasting each other as if it were our first time. Our mouths clung, promising each other everything.
I squeezed his jean-clad ass, and Caleb moaned.
“If you keep moaning like that, we’re never going to get out of here,” I threatened jokingly. “You’ll miss all the romantic things I’ve planned.”
Caleb gave me a sultry look that made my breath hitch. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed my ass.
“Take me to bed, Sean.”
“But…our date?—”
“I don’t care.” Caleb looked at me with a needy gaze.
“Hell, neither do I,” I growled. “We can do takeout…later.”
“Yes,” Caleb whined. He rubbed his body against me. A bolt of pure heat went through me, and I scooped him into my arms again and took him to his bed.
Who needed crowded, expensive restaurants or the movies, or any of the other things I’d planned?
The date was perfect. I wanted it to be us, just us, anyhow.
Caleb had given me a second chance. He had brought me to life. I only wanted to fucking worship him.
His eyes met mine as I put him down on the bed. Caleb stripped off his clothes, and I stripped off mine, glad to see his insecurities about his scars gone.
“Come closer.” He grinned, stretching out his naked body.
Lying down with him, stroking his shoulders to his waist, I couldn’t stop smiling at Caleb. I had the biggest, most foolish grin on my face.
I eased my body on top of his. Caleb pressed us closer, whispering, “Yes.”
I held back a whimper. I needed him so much. His gaze locked on mine. I read the same need there in his brown eyes.
There were no more words.
We kissed for the longest time, and by the time I parted his thighs and slid between them, all I could think was how we were made for each other.
His knees were on either side of me as I surged forward, the lube and condom making it smooth and easy.
“Sean…feels so good.”
I pushed harder, finding the deep part of him that lit Caleb up like an inferno. I grunted, sweat at my back, hammering the right angle, while Caleb jerked at his cock.
I leaned over him, needing one more open-mouthed kiss.
We rocked together as my hand reached for his.
“God, I love you.” I hadn’t meant to shout it out like that as I came inside of him, but I couldn’t hold it back one minute longer. With Dan, we’d been sweet and slow, dating for years, moving logically through the right steps.
With Caleb?
I just exploded with feelings.
“I fucking love you,” I repeated, and it felt so good to say it. To not care about what was right or wrong for once, to own what was in the very essence of my soul.
“Sean!” Caleb’s eyes found mine. I thrust into him, climaxing with a grunt, and Caleb followed me.
When we caught our breath, Caleb sat up. He rested a hand at my heart, pressing there as if to test it.
“People say all kinds of things in the moment…” He began and then stopped, swallowing hard.
“That’s true.” I cupped his face between my hands. “But I meant it. In a moment of passion or in the light of day…” I drew a shaky breath. “I am totally, completely in love with you.”
Caleb stared at me, his lips parted, and it felt like an eternity as I waited, my heart under his palm beating frantically, raw and exposed.
But hopeful.
“You love me?” Caleb repeated.
“I know it’s way too soon. And it’s totally fine if you want time to figure out how you feel about me. But I just—” I fumbled.
“Love me?” he whispered.
I smiled, tracing a finger over his lips. “Yeah, that.”
“God, I love you, too!” Caleb crushed me to him. He kissed my eyelids, my cheeks, jaw, lips. As he kissed me, I ran my hands down his body. Caleb laughed. “We’re both so dense. I’ve loved you for so long. I kept trying not to.” He laughed again, the warm, rich sound like a joyous treasure. I was about to say so when Caleb’s expression sobered.
“Make love with me,” he said. “I want to feel you inside of me.”
“I want that, too. Or…” I slid him a sly glance. “You could be inside of me?”
He inhaled sharply. “It’s been a while…but hell yes.”
Caleb was faster than me to grab the lube and condoms. His gaze stayed on mine the entire time I prepped, using the lube to stretch my hole.
“Fuck, that’s hot. I want in.” Caleb drizzled lube on his palm and rubbed his hands together.
“I’m not a genie’s lamp,” I joked, then groaned as he nipped at the shell of my earlobe, making me shiver.
“But I have so many wishes,” he whispered in a teasing voice. “I can’t wait to have your ass.”
“It’s already yours.” I grabbed him, seizing his mouth in a kiss.
Drawing back, Caleb stroked his dick, getting it firm. I soaked in the sight of his length, thicker than my own. A shudder went through me. I’d missed bottoming, and I meant what I’d said to Caleb. I wanted him to have me.
I flipped to my knees, wiggling my asscheeks at him. “I like it from behind.”
“Bossy,” Caleb said.
I spread my cheeks with my hands, letting him see all of me. “I also like it hard. Can you handle that?” I glanced back to find Caleb’s eyes fixated on my pucker.
Then he looked up. “Yes, sir!” He gave me a cocky grin.
That’s when things turned. I was no longer in charge—Caleb was. And I loved the way he rolled on a condom, positioned himself, and pounded me into that mattress.
“Caleb,” I let out on a ragged groan. I clenched him tighter, pulling him into me. I grabbed at my poor helpless dick, in need of attention. Caleb rutted into me, each thrust powerful and strong. I matched his furious rhythm, jerking my cock. Caleb murmured endearments. I cursed.
Then I begged, “Please.”
He pushed us higher and higher, and with a sharp cry, I orgasmed. Jets of cum shot through me so hard I almost blacked out.
Caleb gave a final thrust or two and followed me. I felt the shake of his body as he rode out his climax.
Ending in a tangled heap, we collapsed onto each other. Panting, Caleb rained kisses over my sweaty back. I groaned as he pulled out of me, already missing his warmth, the feeling of Caleb filling me. Small aftershocks had my legs still shaking.
Caleb rolled to his side, watching me, smiling. Without speaking, I moved and held him close. There was nothing better than this, I thought as I traced a lazy circle on his stomach.
My body ached with fulfillment, my limbs wobbly, my dick spent, my pulse still slowing down.
“You just killed me,” I said, my eyes twinkling. “You killed me with love.”
“Be prepared then to die nightly,” Caleb teased.
I barked out a laugh, hugging him to me. “I love you, Caleb.”
“Love you,” he replied and then yawned.
A long time later, after Caleb and I had slept and recovered, I cuddled him in my arms as we talked about the coming weekend, made plans. Outside, a storm rumbled, but in bed with Caleb, everything felt safe and warm.
Caleb stroked my arm with one finger. “This was the best day. I’d like to live it all over again.”
“It’s only the beginning.” I pressed a soft kiss to his bare chest.
He sighed in agreement, and we kissed again. I licked at his lips, savoring Caleb’s sweet taste. I groaned as he sucked my tongue. I would never get enough of him. We deepened the kiss, exchanging tiny grunts and sounds of pleasure. When the kiss ended, his eyes shined with love as they locked on mine.
“I’m so lucky to be with you,” I murmured. “I’ll never take it for granted.” I cupped the sides of his face and gave Caleb another slow kiss.
“Me either.” He laid my head on my chest.
Nestling together, his skin warm near mine, the rising and falling of his breath matching mine, I thought how Caleb was right: this was a day to live over again.