Chapter four
Gray eyes inches from my fluttering sight and boring into me are the first things I see. I blink again. I'm having a hard time thinking clearly. It's like cobwebs are holding me down. One and one aren't adding up to two. Why are these eyes so close?
"Vic!"
I'm shaking. I don't understand. What's going on? I close my eyes and become aware of my breathing. Short, shallow breaths.
"Vic! Stay with me."
Stay? Who wants me to stay? I open my eyes again and now I'm staring at the ceiling.
"I'm calling 911."
"No. It's her asthma. She'll be fine."
"She turned blue."
"And now she's not. Sit down and give her space."
Someone moves, a chair creaks, and the room slowly comes to stillness. I inhale deeply letting the simple act of air filling my lungs center me. Asthma. Okay, yes I remember. I had an asthma attack. Ben's here.
Ben!
My heart gallops and my next breath is shallow again. Ben's here and he still doesn't want to be around me. Elation dies replaced by shame as my mind clears. Horror that I've reacted so strongly to his refusal to spend time with me.
"I'm fine," I say struggling to sit up.
A strong arm like steel supports me as I rise to a sitting position. Ben, one arm around me, stares into my face. His expression is unreadable. His chiseled, tanned features give away nothing but my heart flips like it always does when I look at him. Grief hits me out of nowhere for no reason that I can remember, but it seems like I should.
"Are you sure Vic?" he asks.
"Yes and please, call me Victoria."
I hate it when he calls me Vic. That was what he called me before, when we were close. That's a special name, one he no longer has the rights to use. Any warmth that might have been in his face is gone as he regards me coolly and returns to his chair. I climb from the floor unassisted. Mr. Morian sits on the edge of the desk with worry and concern evident on his face as his pudgy fingers tap the ink blotter beside him.
"Are you sure you're okay Victoria? I can get a doctor here for you if you need."
"No, thank you. I'm fine."
He shuffles papers around in front of himself for a moment staring at me. At last he comes to the decision that I'll be fine or he has no control. Either way he decides to continue.
"Well, as I was saying. You may of course have your own lawyers look at the papers but her intent and will is quite clear. If you refuse, the company and all assets will be liquidated and the proceeds will go into a charitable fund."
I glance at Ben covertly. He sits stock still giving away nothing. No indication of what he's thinking outwardly except one perfectly manicured finger traces a circle on the arm of the chair. He used to do that when we were kids. If he was working on some particular problem he would absently do that until he figured out the solution.
"Fine," Ben says at last.
"So you agree to comply and go along with this?" Mr. Morian asks.
"Yes," Ben says.
He still doesn't look at me. I'm so busy staring at him I don't realize for a moment that Mr. Morian has shifted his attention until Ben turns and looks at me directly. His lips are pursed tight and his brow is furrowed.
"Victoria?"
I jerk around towards the lawyer.
"Oh, I agree," I say.
"Good," Mr. Morian says. "This will make your mother very happy."
He shuffles some papers and we have to sign in appropriate places. He gives us our tickets and itinerary. Then he leaves and once more I'm alone with Ben. We stand in the living room staring at each other. I have no idea what to say and apparently he doesn't either.
"Well, that was interesting," I say at last.
Ben stands in silence for a long moment then he steps in close to me. Too close. It was okay when he was my hero big stepbrother but now he's a stranger. Every fiber of me tenses. The scent of him fills me, my fingers twitch with desire to reach out and touch him.
He raises one hand towards my face. I flinch, I can't help it. I close my eyes steeling myself to see what happens but his touch is gentle, soft. Memories flood me as his finger strokes along my jawline.
"Ben," I breath.
"I'm sorry Victoria," he says. "I have to go."
He turns and heads for the door. I watch him leave. Again. He doesn't look back as he strides across the lawn.
The driver jumps out and has the door open for him and he climbs into the back of the limo.
I stare out the front window. I think, for a moment, that he's staring back into the house from the darkened interior then the driver shuts the door.
As the limo and escort leave, dark emptiness wells back up threatening to consume me.
He just left. Again.
He didn't want to be around me for a month. He can't stay here with me or even have dinner.
This is going to be a tough thirty days. I have to stay focused on my goal. My stepmother was a very shrewd, hard woman. I am sure she left no loopholes in her plan to reconcile the two of us. I never wanted to be dependent on her money but I need it to finish my degree.
Focus. Don't let him get to you.
Besides the villa is nice. We used to take our family vacations there. Sometimes we'd spend the entire summer. Ben and I would hike the hills, swim in the lake, and have grand adventures as kids. Then as we grew we'd go to the village. Even then he loved going fast, he'd race cars against any local. He was good at it.
I haven't been the last several years. I've been attending school even during the summer to finish my degree early. So going back there could be nice. Surely we can get along for thirty days. Fulfill her last wishes then be on my way back to school.
I nod to myself and return to my task.