Chapter 19
A couple of weeks later…
Jude got out of his post-work shower and dried off.
Once he’d tossed on a pair of sweatpants and a tee, he padded barefoot out to the living room and found Foster setting the table.
He walked closer and frowned. Foster had done the whole thing up, silverware, his mom’s old crystal wine goblets, and a bottle of red sat open on the table.
Thankfully there was no candle sitting in the middle of the table or Jude might’ve fully lost it.
“What’s wrong with eating in front of the television,” Jude grumbled.
“After the way you talked about Mrs. Giovani’s lasagna, I figured it deserved the table and real plates instead of paper ones,” Foster said before pouring them each a glass of wine.
He lifted them both and closed the small gap between them.
“It’s still got a few more minutes in the oven before it’s ready to serve. ”
Jude took the glass and downed it in one big gulp.
“Thirsty?”
Jude pushed past Foster and took the bottle in hand to pour another glass. “This feels suspiciously close to a date. And we don’t go on dates.”
“It’s not a date,” Foster said. “It’s just dinner.” He smiled. “I need my strength before my next payment, don’t I?”
Jude met Foster’s gaze, his heart slamming against his ribs.
For weeks, Foster had been slowly pulling Jude deeper and deeper. It was beginning to feel like he was drowning. Each time he gave Foster an inch, the guy took a mile.
He was the one to blame, though. He was giving up those inches way too easily.
When panic set in and his head told him to slam on the brakes, one look at Foster and his foot slipped—sometimes to the gas pedal.
He’d started wanting something he knew they couldn’t have, and that was dangerous.
It was only a matter of time before he was shattered again.
Foster closed the gap, took Jude’s glass away, and set them both on the table.
When he turned back, Jude knew what Foster wanted.
He could’ve backed away and refused it, but he was becoming addicted to Foster’s kisses.
Jude closed his eyes and melted against him, already jonesing for another before the first one was over.
The door downstairs slammed shut.
Jude shoved Foster back, wide-eyed, and pointed to his bedroom door.
Foster raced through, and Jude shut the door seconds before Anton appeared.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Anton said, clapping his hands. “You ready?” He stopped after giving Jude a quick perusal. “You’re not ready.”
“Ready?” Jude asked.
“We were going to stop in to Roan’s dad’s retirement party. He asked us on Sunday, remember?” Anton asked, surveying the table. He pointed a finger at it and then looked at Jude. “Are you on a date?”
“Nooo,” Jude said quickly.
Anton’s face stretched into a wide smile. “You hiding someone in your bedroom?”
“Nope,” Jude said.
“Why are there two place settings?”
“Paulie was going to come up and share some of Mrs. G’s lasagna with me, but he had got a call from home and had to go,” Jude lied.
“Paulie gets wine and crystal? I don’t buy it.”
Gimme a break! It had been the best he could come up with while in full panic mode.
“You got someone holed up in there,” Anton said, pointing to the bedroom door. “I know it.”
When Anton took a step toward the door, Jude put himself between them.
Anton cackled. “Knew it!” He grinned. “How long’s this been going on? Besides Sundays, I’ve barely seen you in weeks. Is he the reason behind that?”
“There’s no one. I’ve been busy at work is all.”
Anton smiled as he eyeballed the table. “I thought something had changed in you. Now I think I know why.”
“Nothing’s changed,” Jude snapped.
“The hell it hasn’t,” Anton said, ambling closer to the table. He lifted one of the two half full wine glasses and lifted a brow. “Roan and I were just talking about it earlier today.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” Anton said before sneaking a sip of wine. “Oh, that’s the good shit. If he brought that, he gets bonus points.”
“Anton…”
Anton smiled and lowered the goblet. “Yeah.”
“What trash have you and Roan been talking?”
“Like I said. You’ve changed.”
Jude scoffed.
Anton moved a little closer and searched his face.
“Your head’s always on a swivel. You’re jumpy.
You’re never able to just be in the moment, not entirely.
But the last few weeks, you seem almost…
peaceful.” Anton smiled. “At ease. It’s a good look on you.
” Anton returned to look at the table and stole a crouton from the top of the salad bowl.
He popped it as he walked closer to Jude.
“If this new guy you’re hiding is the cause of it, I’m happy for you.
Which means you don’t have to hide him.”
“There isn’t anyone hiding,” Jude snapped.
“Fine, fine,” Anton said. “I can’t wait to meet the guy not hiding in your bedroom. Whenever you’re ready.”
Jude scowled.
“Something more serious might be good for you.”
Tell him. Tell him the truth and just see where the cards fall. Yeah, he’ll be angry that it’s Foster, but maybe he’ll get over it.
Eventually
“Something serious? Not this guy,” Jude replied, unable to force the admission from his lips.
“Yeah, yeah…” Anton turned and walked back towards the stairs. “Have fun tonight. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
The need to tell Anton about Foster screamed in his veins, but instead, he watched his best friend disappear. He was a coward.
As soon as the door shut downstairs, Jude released the breath he’d been holding the entire time. His heart thundered in his chest, and his legs felt like rubber. Why hadn’t he just fessed up and gotten things over with?
Why had he stood there frozen with fear?
Because they didn’t belong together. As soon as he told Anton, that would break the spell they’d been living under. Anton would talk sense into him and make him see the truth.
Jude wasn’t ready for it to be over, so he’d kept his mouth closed.
He walked to the bedroom door and peeked inside. “All clear.”
“Okay,” Foster said.
As they Foster walked out of the bedroom, Anton reappeared at the head of the stairs.
“Hey, don’t forget the party Saturday nigh—”
Anton’s eyes widened the second they landed on Foster.
Jude’s stomach turned.
“What the actual fuck?” Anton asked, eyes narrowing. “What is he doing here?” His gaze whipped to Jude. “What is he doing here, Jude?”
“It’s not what it looks like,” Jude said, taking a step toward Anton.
“It doesn’t look like you were hiding Foster in your bedroom so I wouldn’t see he’s here—on a date—with you?”
Jude glanced at Foster, signaling toward his bedroom. “Can you give us a minute?”
Foster looked between them before nodding. He returned to the bedroom and closed the door.
Jude spun to face Anton. He took a couple of steps closer. “I…” I’ve fallen for Foster, and I want you to be okay with that. “I…” He couldn’t force the words out of his mouth. “It’s payback.”
“What?”
“Fucking him at the party was an accident, but it gave me an idea. He’d caused me all kinds of pain, so why not use him and get some pleasure out of him? He’d been a good lay, so why not?” Jude smiled. “I’ve made him my own personal sex toy. No strings. We fuck and then he goes home.”
Anton eyed the table. “That really looks like no strings.”
“He set this up while I was in my shower. It seems the golden boy has developed feelings for me.” Jude snickered. “Why not let him string himself out for a while and make an ass of himself? Serves him right.”
Anton searched his face. “You’re playing with fire.”
“Maybe,” Jude said. “But don’t worry. The expiration date is coming up fast. I’ll boot him to the curb before the holidays.”
Anton stared at him, shaking his head. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Of course I do,” Jude said with a grin.
Anton sighed. “Are you still coming to the Halloween party Saturday night? Or are you going to blow me off to hang out with Foster?”
“Of course I’m going with you,” Jude said, though he’d completely forgot. “Meet me here? We can hit the train down?”
Anton nodded. He glanced at Jude’s bedroom door one last time before he turned and walked out, silent.
Jude closed his eyes and breathed deep after the door closed downstairs. He crossed the living room and opened the bedroom door. Foster sat on the corner of his bed, elbows on his knees.
“He’s gone.”
Foster didn’t lift his gaze.
“Did you hear me? You can come out now.”
Foster finally looked up at him, anger in his eyes.
Jude inhaled, steeling himself for the rant he saw coming.
Only, Foster didn’t say a word.
“Look, I just told him what he needed to hear to get him to go,” Jude said.
“You shoved me away, hid me, and lied about our relationship.”
Jude shrugged. “I wasn’t in the mood for a showdown tonight. I’m tired.”
Foster rose from the bed. “I shoved you away, hid what we were doing, and lied about what was happening to protect us both. I was turned into a villain for that.”
Jude froze. “This isn’t the same and you know it.”
“But isn’t it?” Foster closed his eyes for a second. When he reopened them, heartbreak shone in them. “You were scared you’d lose a friend if he knew you had feelings for me, so you concealed the truth. Just like I was scared to be outted back then.”
Jude scrubbed his face with both hands before looking at Foster again. “I was just giving us time.”
“Time for what? Time for you to string me along a little more? Time to make me feel like a bigger fool?”
“I’ve been nothing but honest from the beginning. We weren’t supposed to be a thing. You changed the rules along the way and brought feelings to the table.”
“I wasn’t the only one with feelings, now was I?”
Jude looked away.
“I guess we’re both cowards,” Foster said. He walked past Jude, towards the stairs. He paused at the table at the top and snagged his keys. Spinning, he faced Jude. “I’d say we’re even now. Consider yourself repaid.”
Foster turned and walked down the stairs.