Chapter 8
Eight
XANDER
Present
A knock at the door draws my attention as I wrap a towel around my waist. It better not be Darren. I can’t deal with any more bullshit about the baby. Especially when I’m almost completely positive it isn’t mine.
I open the door and step aside for Tobias and Stone to enter. They’re both dressed as if they’re planning on going out.
“What’s up?” I ask as I close the door.
“Get dressed,” Stone says as he follows me into the bedroom and drops onto my bed.
“For what?” I ask.
“Dinner.” Tobias taps his finger on the desk as he also fully invades my space by inviting himself into my room.
I drop the towel and pull out a pair of boxers. If they’re going to invite themselves in, they can deal with seeing my dick.
“Have you noticed Jade has been acting weird lately?” Stone asks, meeting my eyes in the mirror.
“Yeah,” I draw the word out, unsure where he’s going with this.
“She’s really pissed you knocked some chick up,” Tobias says.
“I didn’t knock anyone up.”
“You don’t know that for sure.”
“I’m sure,” I snap back at him.
“Relax,” Stone interjects. “We’ll figure it out if it’s yours. We don’t need to worry about it until we know for sure.”
I’m positive it’s not mine. It can’t be. But I’m not in the mood to go round for round with either of them.
“I think there’s something else going on,” Stone continues. “I know you guys have a history you aren’t fond of talking about, but it feels different than the usual tension between you two.”
“I know. I tried to talk to her after sound check, but she just shut me down. Every time I try to get her to listen, she comes up with an excuse to walk away.”
“I don’t get it, you guys fucked once like fifteen years ago. Why is she still pissed?”
I hurt her. That’s why. Her pain is all my fault. The heaviness of that thought settles onto my shoulders as I pull a pair of jeans on.
“Where are we going for dinner?” I ask to change the subject. I know that Stone is right, but I don’t have it in me to do a deep dive on all the mistakes I made that summer.
“A sushi restaurant.”
“Sounds good.” I grab a black henley out of my suitcase and pull it on.
We meet up with our security at the elevator and descend to the basement parking garage together.
The six of us walk up the steps into the waiting sprinter van.
When we all go out together, even the biggest SUV isn’t big enough.
We could use two separate cars, but after years together our security team is just as close to us as we are to each other.
The ride to the restaurant is quiet. Stone spends most of his time texting Dan, the bodyguard he assigned to Hazel after an incident early on in the tour. If he could be with her right now, he would be, but anytime any of us go to a signing with her, we cause a ruckus.
Tobias has his eyes closed and head leaning back against the seat. His leg bounces up and down to some unknown beat. He’s never still. Energy seeps from him regardless of what he’s doing. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t tap his feet or drum his fingers even while sleeping.
Hans sits by the door with Adam and Andy, Stone and Tobias’s respective bodyguards.
The three of them speak quietly while keeping an eye on what’s happening out the windows.
They like to walk in a triangle formation when it’s just the three of us out.
Hans takes the lead because when you’re six foot eight and built like a brick house people get the fuck out of your way.
As we pull up to the back of the restaurant, my assumption proves correct.
Hans is first out of the van and scans the alley.
He takes a few steps out and Adam follows along with Andy.
I let Stone and Tobias go first. Being taller than both of them, I like to be at the back of the pack, so I can see over and know what’s happening just in case.
We’ve been mobbed more than once, and it always sends Tobias into a panic.
He’s on the edge as it is this tour, we don’t need anything to happen to him.
The scent of trash and piss fills the air, but it’s thankfully free of any spectators. I’ll take the awful smell over a crushing crowd any day. At least in terms of daily life. Crushing crowds are great when you’re selling out stadiums.
The manager greets us at the back door and leads us down a hall to the back of the dining room.
Most of the tables are full, but we don’t draw much attention as she takes us to a booth in the corner partially blocked off by Shoji screens.
The six of us settle around the round table and take the offered menus.
A server comes quickly and sets two chilled, tall, glass bottles of water on the table for us. Stone stiffens as none of us order any alcohol.
“Relax,” I say under my breath. “We’re not abstaining because of you. It’s because no one wants to be hungover and playing a sellout show of sixty thousand people.”
He snorts. “As if we haven’t done that nearly every night of every tour.”
“We’re not in our twenties anymore.”
He meets my eyes and smirks. “Thank fuck for that.”
“No kidding.” I glance at the menu and settle on my order quickly because I always get the same thing. “I was wondering if I could crash your writing session tonight? I have a few ideas for the next album.”
His face lights up. “Hell yeah. You don’t even have to ask, you know I’m always happy to have you join in.”
“Yeah.” I pour water into my glass. “It’s not just composing the music this time though, it’s also some lyrics.”
For the past thirteen years he’s been the one writing lyrics for us. I might toss in an idea here or there, but I’ve never had as many ideas as I do now. I’ve stayed up several nights just filling my notes app with ideas.
“Really?” His smile widens. “Hell yeah, brother. I can’t wait to see them.”
“Wait to see what?” Tobias asks looking up from his menu.
“Xan has some lyrics he wants to put on the album.”
“Maybe,” I correct him quickly. “They might suck.”
“They won’t suck,” Tobias says with authority. “Nothing we do sucks.”
“Fuck yeah,” Stone raises his glass to Tobias. “We’re unstoppable.”
After we get back from dinner, I go to my suite to change into a pair of sweatpants and grab my guitar, forgoing a shirt.
I’ll get hot and then it’ll be hard to focus.
Stone has a notebook with all the lyrics, so he can just add my thoughts into that.
I know he has a system that I don’t want to mess up.
Nerves flutter in my stomach as I walk across the hall to his suite. He answers the door wearing the exact same thing as me minus the baseball cap I put on backwards to hold my hair back. He takes one look at me and laughs.
“You look nervous as hell.” He steps aside, so I can enter.
“I fucking am, dude. I’m usually the melody guy.”
“I’ve waited for someone to help me with lyrics for so long. This is the seventh happiest day of my life.”
“Glad I made the top ten.”
“It’s all Hazel and then you.”
“Speaking of Hazel, where is she?” And more importantly, where is Jade?
“Still out to dinner with Jade.” He checks his watch. “They’ll probably be back any time now.”
I nod. At least I’ll know when Jade is back by Hazel coming in. She’s been so shifty the past few days. If we finish at a decent time, I’m going to stop by her room, so she’ll finally listen to me. She won’t be able to brush off me so easily that way.
Stone grabs his acoustic guitar and strums a few chords. “You want to hear what I’ve been working on?”
“Yeah.” I sit back and listen, guitar in my lap as I learn the music.
He quietly sings a few lines, changing words around until it sounds right.
His talent for all things musical has always blown me away.
I might be able to play a plethora of instruments and compose music, but he does everything.
He’s the closest person to a musical savant I’ve ever met, and not enough people give him credit for it.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he glances up from his guitar.
“Just thinking about how fucking talented you are. It’s irritating.”
His grin is quick. “You love me.”
He’s trying to turn it into a joke, but I’m serious. “I do. I’m really fucking glad we’re here doing this still. Blue Sunday wouldn’t exist without you.”
The air in the room thickens with all the possibilities of what could have been. Him dying from his accident. Overdosing. Hell, us never meeting in the first place. I can’t imagine a world where I didn’t have him by my side.
Just as it’s getting awkward, the door swings open. Hazel and Jade walk in with smiles on their faces. Jade’s falls as she sees me, and it fucking guts me. She’s radiant in a moss green sweater dress and brown ankle boots. Green has always been my favorite color on her.
“What are you two up to?” Hazel drops down on the couch by Stone and kisses him.
“Song writing. Xan has some lyrics he wants to piece into a song.”
“Really?” Her gaze turns to me. “I didn’t realize you did some of the songwriting, too. Can I hear it?”
“No.” The answer falls from my lips quickly. “It probably sucks right now,” I add quickly when her lips turn down. I’m not about to put my writing out there for a professional writer to critique right out of the gate. I’d rather die.
“I’m sure that’s not true.” Jade has her phone out, ready to document the moment for some future social media post.
I lock eyes with her and recognize the gift of her sincerity. It immediately reminds me of when we were kids and she found my notebook full of lyrics. I felt so dumb that I snatched it out of her hands and didn’t speak to her for a week. It was the worst week of that summer.
“It’s your job to say that,” I reply.
“My job is to make you look good, not blow smoke up your asses. Don’t be an idiot, you know you’re just as talented as anyone else. You’re just scared.”
Fuck if she isn’t right.
“It’s okay,” Hazel reaches across and pats my knee. “I get it. The first time I had to share a story in a creative writing class I almost passed out from nerves. And then they proceeded to rip it apart.” She shudders. “Still gives me nightmares to think about.”
“I don’t think I could have pushed through that.”
“I think you could. You will. I don’t know anything about song writing aside from watching Tyler, but I’d love to see what you have when you’re ready to share.” She gives him a kiss and stands. “I’m going to go shower and get ready for bed.”
I watch as she walks into the bedroom and closes the door before turning my attention back to Stone. “I’ll never get used to her calling you by your actual first name.” He’s always gone by his last name, so it was easy for him to adopt Stone Tyler as his public persona.
“I know. It’s so weird, but I love it. Like our own secret language.”
“God, you two are sickeningly cute,” Jade says as she sits in a chair at the table. “Do you mind if I stay for a bit to document you two creating?”
“Not at all,” Stone says for both of us.