Chapter 19 #2
Spending two hours fielding Amelia’s questions about what happened in a marriage bed was not how Helena had envisioned spending her first day as a married woman.
Even after Patricia returned to running her bath, filling the water with lavender petals and rubbing Helena’s skin with rosemary and almond oil until the soreness disappeared, Amelia still insisted on sitting by her side, chattering away.
“Your lips are very swollen.” She arched an eyebrow, looking keenly at Helena’s mouth and making her want to purse her lips in order to hide them.
“Oh, oh are they? I hadn’t noticed. It must have been something I ate,” she stammered, struggling not to blush or think about Silas’s kisses.
“Ah, yes, of course. Something you ate,” Amelia’s tone was a little too conspiratorial, which Helena could not help but find amusing.
“Yes, that’s right,” she said, trying to hide her laughter.
Patricia began to brush her hair and Amelia sighed. “You have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen. So long and wavy, soft and black, shiny like a clear midnight sky. I just want to roll around in it.”
Helena could not help but snort. “Thank you.”
“I wager Silas liked it too, did he not?”
Helena could feel herself getting redder. “He did. I think.”
Hands in her hair, grabbing it as he pulled her face towards his, their mouths dueling, tongues tangling, trying to get closer though they were as close as they could possibly get. Desperate and hungering for more.
She sat on her fingers to stop their trembling.
“Erm, so, have you seen Silas this morning?” she asked Amelia at last.
“No, I have not. He also ate breakfast in his chambers. I guess he was tired too.” Amelia grinned at her. “Did you two sleep very late?”
Helena blushed again. “That’s… not proper of you to ask, Amelia.”
“Aha! So you did! Was it—”
Helena had to stop her right there. “It was private.”
Amelia simply gaped at her before closing her mouth and staying quiet for all of two minutes. “But are you happy that you married him?”
Helena sighed, shaking her head. “Give me more than one day to make up my mind, won’t you?”
At mid-morning, a footman came in search of Helena, much to her relief.
“His Grace has requested your presence in the parlor, Your Grace,” he said quietly.
“Oh.” Helena got up from her sofa. “I’ll be there right away.” She looked at Amelia. “You’re welcome to stay here. I shall see you later.”
Amelia just grinned. “All right. I have lessons to attend anyway. I shall see you at tea.”
“Yes, all right.” Helena said abstractedly, her mind already taken up with what Silas might want from her.
She went down the stairs two at a time in her periwinkle blue morning gown and matching slippers.
Her family had never been poor by any means, but Helena could not recall a time when she’d had so many beautiful things.
The attention to detail was mind boggling.
The gold ribbon laced beneath her breasts and tied in a pretty bow was the same as the gold ribbon tied in a pretty bow on her slippers. The modiste had truly outdone herself.
She walked into the parlor with a smile.
“Good morning,” she said breezily.
He got to his feet, smiling back. “Good morning to you, Duchess. And how did you sleep?”
“Soundly.” She said stoutly. “You? You must have woken up quite early. Were you not tired?”
He smirked. “I might have woken up early, but I slept quite soundly as well. One thing you will learn about me is that I’m an early riser. I hope you don’t mind that I slipped out of your bed without so much as a by your leave. You seemed to be sleeping too peacefully to be disturbed.”
Helena blushed at the thought of him watching her sleeping. “I suppose it’s fine. I was a little disappointed, since I thought we might have breakfast together. But your sister kept me company.”
“My apologies. I wasn’t sure if you wanted some time to yourself or not.” He huffed ruefully. “Do you enjoy riding? I thought we might take the horses out for some exercise.”
Excitement lit through Helena at the thought of riding again. “I haven’t been on a horse since my father died. I would love to go riding again.”
He smiled and nodded. “Well then, I do hope that your riding habit has been made.”
She jumped to her feet. “I shall go and find out right away. If not, I hope Amelia has something I could borrow.”
Silas bowed his head. “I shall be waiting for you right here.”
Silas felt quite pleased with himself for having happened to suggest an activity that lit Helena up so brightly. He sent one of the footmen to get the horses ready as he waited for her to return.
He was surprised to find that he was rather nervous about spending time with her. He wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to act.
She came down quite quickly, dressed in a honey brown riding habit with a black skirt. Her hair was done up in an elaborate braid that fit under her riding hat. She was a vision.
He offered his hand and she smiled as she took it. They walked out of the house and found the horses waiting just outside the door.
He helped her up before getting on his own horse. “I thought I might take you for a tour of the property. Since you’re the Duchess, it’s only fitting.”
He watched her keenly to see her reaction, but she just nodded. He led her down to the gate before turning down a pathway that would enable them to ride the entire length and width of the property.
As they rode, he explained to her how the farm worked.
“We have cows that produce milk for the entire district and chickens for eggs that supply not only the district, but London as well.”
“You oversee all that and work for the Crown, too?” she asked incredulously.
“Not all the time. I have a very capable steward who does that for me.”
“I see. What else?”
“Well, as you may have guessed, the entire village is on my land, and the villagers are all my tenants. As Duchess, I shall expect you to join me on quarter days. It’s not just about paying rent, you see.
The tenants take the time to air their grievances or requests, get their questions answered and such.
I am in the middle of building an aqueduct that will supply the entire village’s water.
It’s an innovation that was suggested to me by the blacksmith, and I think it will really revolutionize the local economy. ”
“That is…” She shook her head. “My parents were also landlords, but they seldom bothered with the tenants in any way. My father was too busy with what I thought were his books and his interests. As for mother… well…”
He nodded. “Yes, your father loved theories. He was very good at finding the wherefores of things. I never really knew your mother.”
“Well…” she shrugged. “You’re not missing much.”
“Such a big gap between you and your brother. Did you lose some siblings in between?”
“I could say the same of you and your sister.”
“Indeed,” he said drily. “Well… my father was away a great deal fighting in the war, and later, I found out that he was working for the Crown as a spy. I assume he and my mother did not have much opportunity for baby-making.” He grimaced. “Much as I do not want to think about that.”
She laughed. “Well, I think that my parents weren’t that interested in each other at the best of times. I’d say it was a miracle that they even had any children.”
“Why did they marry?”
She shrugged. “I think that my mother wanted the title and the prestige that went with being a countess. Her father was a shipwright. Fairly well off, but a lowly baron.”
“And your father?”
“I think he just gave in to her persistence. He didn’t like it when people got emotional and tended to give in rather than risk that. All she would have had to do was throw a tantrum.”
He gave her a look. “I see.”
“I’ve had five years to think about the relationship deeply.
I’ve got through periods of imagining my mother somehow molded by my uncle into doing what she did.
I’ve had time to go over every single interaction I ever watched between my father and my mother.
In the end, I had to acknowledge that they weren’t very affectionate with each other.
Of course, at the time, I just assumed that’s how married people were.
” She looked at Silas. “And perhaps that is how married people are. I shouldn’t like to think so. ”
He sighed. “I think every married couple is different. Certainly, many do not marry for love. I had a great uncle who was rumored to have killed all his wives. I have no evidence supporting this, aside from the fact that he buried five wives before his own death. It is a strange institution.”
“And what of us? What are we to make of our marriage?”
He half-smiled. “Well, I certainly hope that we are not aiming to kill each other. We may not have had a traditional courtship, but I do hope that there is sufficient trust between us to build a solid relationship.”
She looked down at her bridle, brow furrowed. “What does that mean, a solid relationship?”
Silas did not know what to say. He knew that he wanted their lovemaking to continue, which would naturally lead to children. He supposed then that he wanted in her a true partner.
“What do you want of this relationship?” he asked instead of answering her.
She shrugged. “I suppose, what I truly want is a family. A loving family.”
He stared at her, a lump in his throat. He could say truly that before they’d died, his parents had given him and his sister exactly that.
He had a feeling that Helena had never really experienced the love that came with having a father and mother who loved not only each other, but their children as well. As absent as his father had been over the years, when he was at home, he was truly present.
“I suppose we can give each other that.”
She considered him seriously. “Can we?”
“It is a matter of deciding that it is what we want.”
“Is it what you want? Aside from catching a traitor, would you want to have more with me?”
He considered her back, just as seriously before slowly nodding.
“Helena, what I told you on our wedding night… I meant it all. Much as I would love to close this case, my asking for your hand was about protection. I felt the need to protect you, and I’m glad that I was able to.
There was nothing of duty in our… lovemaking…
last night. That was all… It was far mor than that. ”
Slowly, she nodded. “Yes.” She gave a nervous laugh. “To be honest, it scared me a little bit.”
They rode in silence for a while, each lost in thought, as they both stole glances at each other and then smiled before riding on.
Silas came to a stop beside a small lake. “This is where the aqueduct will be built. It will take water right to the village square.”
Helena smiled. “Will you do it like the ancient Romans did?”
Silas laughed. “No. I have quite modern architects and engineers working on it.”
“Is that so?” She gave a long sigh, “My father used to love having such men over for dinner. Do you do the same?”
“Well…sometimes. There are quite a few plans to go over and sometimes meetings spill over into supper time.”
She laughed. “So, you don’t just invite them to talk or regale you with their exploits?”
“Not at all. I don’t favor chitchat, as you may have gathered. But you are welcome to invite whomever you wish to dinner.”
The smile slid off her face. “Even my brother?”
He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Especially your brother,” he said quietly. “We will rescue him. Trust me.”
“I am starting to. I just hope my trust isn’t misplaced.”
“I promise you, it is not.”
She looked towards the lake. “It’s beautiful. The way the surface reflects the sky and the trees around it.”
“Reminds me of your eyes,” he said absently.
She gave him a sharp look. “What?”
He turned to look at her, blushing a little. “Your eyes. They have depth to them, like this lake, still waters that reflect the sky back to you. You’re not sure whether what you’re seeing is a mirror, or a deliberate opacity.”
She blinked a few times. “I had no idea my eyes were so… complicated.”
He laughed. “Not just your eyes.”
“All of me?”
He just looked at her and smiled.
Helena sat on her bed, trying to decide if she regretted going horseback riding with Silas earlier. Her thighs had still been a bit sore from their activities the night before and the long ride had not helped. She ached just about everywhere.
Nevertheless, she also felt quite happy and floaty, just from remembering their conversation. She didn’t think she’d ever had such an honest talk with anyone. It was as delicious as it was unexpected.
She wasn’t sure yet whether it was a good thing or a bad thing, but she could hardly wait for the supper bell to ring so that she might be in his presence again and get another opportunity to look in his eyes and know that what he’d said was true.
She wasn’t ready for another night like last night, not with every muscle she had protesting so vigorously, but she hoped he would come to her anyway, kiss her a little bit, maybe hold her in his arms. She wanted to be enveloped in his scent, protected in his embrace, feel his nearness and know he desired her.
As if she’d summoned him, there was a knock on the connecting door.
“Come in.”
The door opened and Silas walked in. “I was wondering if you would like to take supper with me.”
She cocked an eyebrow. “Were we not going to have supper together anyway?”
He grinned, looking down at his feet before looking up to meet her gaze. “I meant just the two of us.”
“What of Amelia?”
“Well, I spoke with her, and she does not mind supping in her quarters. I just took a shipment of new books from Paris, so I’m sure she’s happy as a clam to curl up by the fire with some hot soup and fresh baked bread along with cold cider while she reads.”
“Mmm. It sounds as though she’s getting the better evening.” Helena smirked.
Silas arched an eyebrow. “Is that what you believe? Well then, I must keep your interest through the meal. Perhaps you can go and beg for a book from her after. I must warn you, she tends to be very miserly with her hoard.”
Helena laughed, “I would not blame her. People can be very careless with books.”
“So, does that mean you’ll eat with me?”
“Of course I will.”