15. Colt
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
colt
A knock echoed from the front door and I cursed, pulling my hand off my cock. I was so hard and so fucking close—I was ready to fight whoever the hell had interrupted.
If it were Cam, he would have just walked in. So that meant it was someone else.
Which meant I didn’t care.
I started to stroke myself again, grunting as I thought about Sarah.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Son of a bitch,” I rasped.
I was so fucking close.
I groaned and cursed as I got out of bed and threw on my jeans, tucking my cock in my waistband. I was shirtless, but didn’t care as I stalked down the hall to the front door and yanked it open.
Sammy’s hand braced against the doorframe. He looked down at me, his eyes widening as he took me in.
Seeing that expression certainly didn’t help my hard-on.
I cleared my throat. “Not the person I expected.”
“Who were you expecting?” he asked.
“Not you.”
Sammy sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “We need to talk.”
It was apparently the day for it. After I’d had breakfast with Sarah, I’d come home and stared at the ceiling, grinning like an idiot. It had gone perfectly. For the first time in years, I felt like I could shed the pain of the past.
Now, there was a new problem. My stomach did a slow flip as I stepped aside.
“Come on. You’re letting the cold air in,” I mumbled.
He stepped inside and I shut the door behind us. I snatched a sweater off the back of a barstool and pulled it over my head. His gaze pinned on me, heating my blood.
“Shoot,” I told him.
“I want Sarah.”
I blew out a breath and crossed my arms.
“I asked her if she was interested in you, and she said yes.”
“I asked her the same,” I said. “And I told her if you make her happy, then she should date you.”
He raised a brow. “Really?”
“Yeah,” I said. “And to date me too…”
“I see.”
We studied each other, having some sort of silent dick measuring contest over Sarah.
“I want her, Colt, and I’m not backing down. So you’re gonna have to be fine with me too.”
“Or what?” I bit out.
I could have told him I’d assured her I was fine with this situation, but something about the heat in his gaze was riling me up. He closed the distance between us in one long stride. I stood my ground, looking up at him. Once again, I felt the tension, the heat, the desire creeping up my spine—unbidden and inappropriate given this was Sammy .
His cheeks turned red. Unlike the other day in his kitchen, I knew he was blushing for me now. Nerves rattled through me, twisted with curiosity and longing.
“I’m going to date her,” I said. “I don’t care what you have to say.”
“What if I said I’m glad you are? That I’m fine with it?”
I put my hands on my hips. “What if I told her something similar?”
All of that tension boiled down into a hot simmering need. His shoulders relaxed slightly as he searched my gaze.
“I have a friend in Austin who’s polyamorous,” he said. “She has healthy relationships with three people. She’s married to one of them, and they opened their relationship, and now have two other partners. Good boundaries. They’re happy. Have been for years. They love each other.”
“And?”
“Why can’t we do something like that?”
I’d thought about it, hadn’t I? In brief moments where I’d then decided it was too damn wild.
Why couldn’t we?
I wasn’t sure what Sarah would think about it. But given that I’d told her I was fine with her seeing Sammy too, and her reaction…maybe she would be.
I wasn’t against it…
Everyone else would be.
“Everyone in Citrus Cove would judge us,” I said softly. “Because…”
“I’m not saying you have to love me or want me. I’m just saying we don’t have to fucking duel over Sarah like two lone cowboys having a standoff. ”
“Shouldn’t she get a say in this?” I asked. “I mean, earlier when I told her it wouldn’t bother me if she saw you too, she seemed happy. But I don’t know… I don’t know.”
“Of course. But I wanted to talk to you.”
“Why?”
“Because I want Sarah. But I want you too.”
Fuck. My heart thundered in my chest. I grabbed his shirt, pushing him back until he tripped and landed on the sofa. He pinned me with his stormy gaze.
“You and I can’t,” I snapped.
I raked my fingers through my hair, trying to push away the thoughts of why not?
I couldn’t do this. If things went south, then I’d lose my only family. Not to mention, I wasn’t sure how Sarah would react if I was her boyfriend and he was too and I wanted him…fuck.
I wanted this so fucking much that it was hard to breathe, but acting on my desire put it all at risk.
“We’re not doing this,” I said firmly. “We can’t. It’s too much.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re my best friend's brother.” I felt like I was trying to keep my footing on quicksand. “Because…”
I was at a loss for words as he sat up, his mouth level with my cock. Every single thought went up in smoke, vaporized by the way his lips tugged into a soft smile.
All my blood rushed down . I strained against my zipper.
“You’re my brother’s best friend,” he said slowly, reaching for my belt. “But I don’t see why that makes a difference.”
“Because this could get messy,” I rasped.
I bit my lip as he undid my buckle, the metal clinking. His fingers were long and nimble. My gaze raked up his forearms, to the butterfly tattoo I liked so much. I fought to find the voice of reason for us.
“Your parents are my family. Your brothers are my family. I have no one else.”
“I’m not here to take them away.” He scowled. “Let’s make a deal with each other.”
“Fuck, Sammy. What the fuck?” My question came out in a whisper as he pulled my belt free.
My cock strained harder. I was fighting every instinct from taking over as I breathed him in, drinking in his expression and the fire crackling in his gaze.
“I’ve never been with a guy before,” he said. “But I saw the way you looked at me at dinner last week. And before that.”
“Then why now?” I choked out. “Why are you doing this now?”
“Because of Sarah.”
Something about that made me pause.
If we were going to be together, it had to be for us. Not for someone else.
I reached down and grabbed his wrist before he could undo the button. I held him firmly, my breaths shallow. Fuck, it was hard to think straight.
“No,” I finally said. “No. If we’re going to fuck, it’ll be for us. Not for someone else, not even Sarah. If you want to be with me, then I’ll break you in. I’ll show you the ropes. But I’m not a toy.”
The hurt was sharp and fast. I took a step back from him as if I’d been stung.
He rubbed the stubble along his jaw. “Fuck. Colt, that’s not what I meant by any of this.”
“Are you sure?” I asked. I looked away, my blood still pumping. This wasn’t the first time I’d felt like this, but it was the first time it hurt this badly. “I’m bisexual. When I came out, I was kicked out of the house. Your own parents were there for me and kept a roof over my head.”
His eyes widened.
“That’s why I lived with y’all when I was seventeen. Not only did I lose my family, I also lost Sarah. Something changed between us. For the longest time, I thought she knew somehow and hated me for it. That was wrong, though.”
“Fuck,” he whispered. “I didn’t know. I didn’t realize.”
“No one but Cam and your parents knew. I might be open with my sexuality, but that’s not an open invitation for sex. You’re my friend, Sammy. We might not be close the way I am with Cam, but this isn’t right. I want you, but not if it means I’m risking anything.”
Sammy stood up and took a step toward me. He reached out, cupping my jaw gently and facing me to look at him. “I’m sorry,” he said with conviction. “I am deeply sorry that came out the way it did. I don’t think you are a toy or an experiment. I thought I would come over here and try to smooth things over about Sarah, but then I got in my head that maybe the three of us could try something different because I am attracted to you too. I’ve had a crush on you and I thought I was losing my mind, but I realized there could be a spark here.”
He began to pull away, but I slid my hand over his, holding him in place. I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent. He relaxed and leaned down, his forehead pressing to mine.
“I might be a little nuts for even suggesting this,” he whispered. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
I kept my eyes closed for a moment, mulling it all over. It felt like a dream, the idea of being with him and Sarah. It turned me on. All of the jealousy that had been plaguing me for the last week rolled into raw desire.
Could we make it work?
Did I want to try?
He was my friend. I’d known him since he was learning to walk. We’d grown up together, seen each other through every awkward stage of life, had slept under the same roof countless times.
The sparks were flying, but my greatest fear was they’d burn down everything I had.
His lips were almost brushing mine, though.
His hands were hot.
His body was so close.
“Sammy,” I whispered. “You better swear to me that if we fuck up, I won’t lose everything.”
“I swear,” he said.
I sucked in a shaky breath and finally looked at him.
Good god, this man had beautiful fucking eyes.
“I promise.”
“Okay. Fuck it. Kiss me, Sammy Harlow.”
I wasn’t sure who closed the gap. Maybe it was him, maybe it was me, but the moment our lips touched, I melted. Every concern, every fear—it all walked out the door as I curled my fingers in his shirt and yanked him close.
His stubble was rough against my face in a way that made me want to put him on his knees. He groaned against me as our tongues fought for dominance.
I really didn’t know who would win.
I broke the kiss to catch my breath. He was panting and a little shaky. I drew him back into another kiss, this one slower. Deeper with the occasional lip bite.
The things I want to do with him.
The things I wanted to do with Sarah between us…
I ran my hand down his chest and over the bulge in his jeans. He grunted, thrusting into my palm.
“Fuck, you’re hard,” I whispered, kissing down his neck.
I walked him back to the sofa and shoved, sitting him down again but this time with more force. His eyes lit up as he leaned back, his bottom lip a little swollen.
I straddled him. He grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it, tossing it to the floor.
Sammy let out a low whistle. “Someone hits the gym.”
I unbuttoned the top of my jeans as he leaned forward, the two of us kissing as he grabbed my ass. Fuck. Need shot through me as he pushed my jeans down, gripping me hard. He grunted, rocking me over his erection.
“ What the actual fuck? ”
My blood turned cold and I practically flew off Sammy’s lap. I hit the floor hard and looked up at Cam standing in the doorway to the house.
His expression was pure shock. He doubled over and planted his hands on his knees, squinting at the two of us as he breathed hard. “Am I seeing things? What the fuck did I just walk in on?!”
“Do you always walk in without knocking?!” Sammy yelled.
“Yeah, because that’s my best friend!” he growled at Sammy, pointing at me.
“Cam,” I said. I could barely speak. “I can explain.”
He pointed at Sammy. “That’s my fucking brother!”
“For fuck’s sake. Can you go back outside and give us a minute?” Sammy growled.
Cam turned paler than a ghost and grabbed the front door, slamming it shut. The walls shook as silence settled over us.
I sighed and laid back on the cold floor, spreading out.
Fuck.
Sammy rubbed his face and then peeked at me through his fingers. “I’ll go talk to him.”
“Okay,” I said. “I need a minute.”
He got up and adjusted his clothes and leaned down. He cupped the back of my neck and pulled me into a seated position, kissing me again.
“Dammit,” I breathed.
“I don’t regret a single thing,” he said.
Sammy let out a soft hum and released me. He darted out the front door and shut it behind him, leaving me alone to pull myself together.