Chapter 9 – Emmett
Chapter Nine
EMMETT
I watch her in front of me, her eyes lighting up when she talks about Lucy. “There is no need to thank me.” Her soft smile comes out, making her even more beautiful. She is always beautiful, but when she smiles, it simply takes my breath away. “She’s amazing.” She fidgets with her hands, and I can see she is nervous about something. She looks down and then looks back up at me. “I think she would love to ride.” I nod, agreeing but still not able to say anything. “I can take her.”
“No,” I snap. When I do, I see her eyes shield over, a look that shows me how hurt she is by my tone. A tone I use with her all the time, a tone I’ve used so she wouldn’t know she was getting under my skin.
“I understand.” Her voice sounds like it’s dead, monotone, and not there. My stomach tightens, and I fucking hate it. “I’ll see you later.”
She turns to walk out of the stall. “Lilah,” I shout, and she stops in her tracks, “wait!”
She slowly turns around to face me. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I start to say and run my hand through my hair. “I mean, I didn’t mean to snap.”
“But you still meant that you don’t want me to take her riding,” she replies, and I nod, “because I’m reckless.”
I close my eyes for a beat, hearing my own voice in my head telling her she was reckless so many times. “No.” I shake my head. “Because I want to be the one who does that with her.” I take a deep breath in. “She hasn’t said a fucking word to me since I met her.” I close my eyes, trying to fight back the emotions coursing through me. Emotions I thought I didn’t have since I grew up hollow and empty. Emotions that are so foreign to me, I think there is something wrong with me. Emotions I have no idea what to do with.
“Which was?” she asks and I don’t even think I can look at her when I tell her, the shame might be just too much for me to bear.
“Six days ago,” I reply and she gasps. I finally look up at her and see her with her hand to her mouth. “She said one sentence to me,” I admit. “Am I going to have to live with you now?” I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. “That’s it. Then it was nothing, not a peep, not a sound. Nothing but nods and shakes.” My voice trembles on the last word, and I stop talking to clear the lump from my throat. “Then I come to find you two, never expecting to hear her voice and then her laughing.”
“Emmett.” Her voice is in a whisper, and I’ve had dreams of her saying my name in that tone. Dreams where she would smile at me while she looked into my eyes and said my name just like she did. Dreams I would wake up from and wish were real. Dreams I feel were stolen because they weren’t supposed to be mine.
“It’s fine.” I shake away the emotion. “It’s all good. Thank you for helping her.” I put my shoulders back, standing straight, not willing to show her how it felt listening to Lucy talk to her. The hurt that she was so comfortable with Lilah that she even giggled. But to me, I’m the worst human in the world to her right now. Instead of staying and talking to Lilah, I take a deep inhale and start to walk out of the stall, marching right past her. However, the stall isn’t big enough for me to clear her, so I have to move to the side not to touch her. I’m about to walk past her when I feel her hand grip my arm, stopping me from walking out.
I look down at her hand on me, not sure there was ever a time she’s had her hands on me, and it is exactly the way I thought it would feel like. Heaven. “Emmett.” My name is a whisper on her lips, and my heart, which has been all over the place the past six days, finally feels like it’s beating normally again. I stand beside her, our faces toward each other, our eyes locked. Our chests rising and falling at the same time. “I have no doubt she’s going to trust you soon enough.” Her hand lets go of my arm, and I want to slide my fingers with hers. “I should know, I trusted you the first day I met you.” I watch her lick her lips, wanting nothing more in my life than to mix my tongue with hers. Fuck, I’ve never kissed her, but I have a feeling one kiss would make everything in the world better. “She’ll come around, and then she’ll never want to leave.”
The lump is back in my throat as she moves away from me, walking out of the stall, leaving me alone with her words. My eyes track her every movement as she turns the corner and disappears from my view. My breathing feels erratic, and I need some fucking air as I walk away from her instead of toward her.
Closing the stall door after me, I walk toward my desk, seeing Bobby and Sammy there. “Hey, I’m going to the other barn.” I don’t even wait for them to say anything to me. Instead, I walk out and get into my truck.
Hector spots me when I arrive. “Want me to saddle him up?” he asks of my horse.
“I’ve got it,” I say. “Just going for a quick run.” He doesn’t say anything more to me, just gets on with his chores as I walk into the barn and grab my saddle. I get him out of his stall and out of the barn before I mount him. “Let’s go.” I say two words to him, and he’s already gone.
Riding has always been a stress reliever for me. I need a good ride, and I’ll be back better than ever. I push my horse faster and faster, the wind on my face, but nothing can make the burning in the pit of my stomach better.
I get off him when we get close to the barn and let him go as I see Hector bringing out the other horses. “Leave him there. I’ll take care of it.” I walk him over to the water by the side in the shade before I walk back to my truck.
Taking my phone out of my pocket, I see Charlie texted me while I was riding.
Charlie: Got the name for the school and called them for a meeting. Be back with her to pick you up at eleven.
I put the phone back in my pocket and look at the house that now feels like it’s her own personal hell. When she went to bed, I sat outside her door with my back to the wall and my knees up, listening to her cry. I wanted to go in and comfort her, but I knew nothing I said would have made it better. I got up after fifteen minutes and turned the handle of the door. She must have heard it because when I stuck my head into the room, she faked that she was sleeping. Another kick to my stomach—she hated me so much she would pretend she was sleeping. I closed the door behind me and sat outside again for another ten minutes, listening to her sniffling before it stopped.
This morning wasn’t any better. By the time she got up and I made sure she ate, something that was taking some getting used to, I was running late. Usually, I would grab a cup of coffee and head out. But now I was responsible for this little girl, and I was telling myself it was a learning curve for both of us.
I walk back into the barn, feeling just a bit better. Getting to my desk and checking on things, I see Bobby did everything I needed him to do while I was gone. I slip through the paperwork when I hear Autumn’s voice. “Let’s go see if your dad is waiting for you.”
Looking up, I see Lucy walking beside her, her eyes scanning the room, looking at the stalls of the horses. “There he is,” Autumn points out, and Lucy looks back at me. “We brought you a donut.” Autumn looks at Lucy, who stares at me.
I get up. “Did you have fun?” I ask, and she shrugs. I look at Autumn, who looks like she’s about to break down and cry.
“We went to the park, but it was pretty empty since everyone is in school. The only kids there were toddlers, which wasn’t as fun as we thought it would be,” she relays, “so we went to grab a couple of extra donuts.”
I put my hands on my hips. “We are going to check out your new school,” I tell Lucy, who looks behind her, and I have to wonder if she’s looking for Lilah. “We should get going, actually,” I urge when I look up and see it’s almost ten forty-five.
Charlie comes in the barn with an envelope for me. “This is everything you need for the school.” He hands it to me, and I take it before looking down at Lucy.
“You ready to go?” I ask, and she just looks at me without saying a word. I look at Charlie and Autumn, who look like I feel—demolished. “We should get going so we aren’t late.”
I put my hand on her shoulder and turn her around to head toward the truck. “I’ve heard this school is fun,” I say. “My friend Brady, his son, Wyatt, goes there. Also, my friend Brock’s daughter, Saige, goes there, and I think you are the same age as her.” I fill her in as she gets into the truck. I watch her buckle in before shutting the door and walking over to the driver’s side. “The school year just started, so I don’t think you’ve missed much.” It’s like I’m talking to myself at this point.
We pull up to the school, and I grab the envelope as I get out of the truck and walk around to her side. “Ready?” I ask as she jumps down. Side by side, we walk into the school, a father who has no idea what the fuck he’s doing and a daughter who has no idea what is in store for her.
I have to ring the bell to get in, and the woman greets us at the front door. “You must be Mr. Clarkson.” She extends her hand with a huge smile. “I’m Mrs. Maureen, the school administrator.” After shaking my hand, she looks over at Lucy. “And you must be Lucy,” she says, bending to shake her hand. I wait to see how Lucy will react, and somehow, I’m not shocked that she extends her hand to shake Maureen’s. “How about we take a tour?” she asks Lucy, who nods. Well, at least she isn’t shrugging, I think to myself as Maureen takes us on the school tour. Lucy takes it all in, with kids lining up outside of their classrooms, going to lunch, walking past some classrooms, and seeing some still in class. “This will be Lucy’s classroom,” she states, looking over at us as we step into an empty classroom since everyone is outside for lunch.
A woman at the desk looks up at us, her blond hair in a bob and tucked behind one ear. “Ms. Summer,” Maureen says, “this is Mr. Clarkson and his daughter, Lucy.” She smiles down at Lucy. “She will be joining your class on Monday.”
Ms. Summer gets up and walks over to us. She looks at me and smiles. “It’s nice to meet you,” she says and then squats down in front of Lucy. “Welcome to our classroom.” She gets up. “Would you like a tour while your father fills out paperwork with Mrs. Maureen?” Ms. Summer asks, holding out her hand to Lucy. “I can show you where you’ll be sitting, and we can pick out a couple of things to be ready for you on Monday.”
Lucy goes with her, and I watch in amazement as she leads her to the side of the classroom where there are little cubby holes. “It won’t take too long,” Maureen assures me, “she’ll be fine.” I nod, take one more look at Lucy—or better yet five looks—over my shoulder as I follow her down the hall to the office.
We go through all the paperwork, and she gives me what feels like a million papers to fill out and bring back to her on Monday when Lucy starts. Forty minutes later, I’m standing up with all of my “homework” when Lucy walks back in, a bag in her hand.
“I have to get the kids,” Ms. Summer says, looking at me. “I gave her a couple of worksheets to do at home and return on Monday.” I nod and then look down at Lucy.
“Thank you so much,” I reply, and the two of us walk out of the school.
“Do you want to get some lunch?” I ask once we are back in the truck, and I see it’s a little after noon. “You’re probably hungry.” I look in the rearview mirror at her as she looks out at the school. “Did you like Ms. Summer?”
She nods, and I feel somewhat better, but I would really love to hear her talk to me. We pull up to the bakery, which has started serving lunch specials. Nothing big, some wraps and sandwiches. Bagels are a big thing there now, but they sell out by two o’clock. When we get there, I’m not shocked that it’s starting to fill up. I look behind the counter to see if Ms. Maddie or her daughter, Everleigh, are in, but I don’t see either of them.
“Do you want a bagel or a sandwich?” I ask, and she looks at the display case where the wraps are displayed and then looks at the bagel, pointing at one. “With cream cheese?” I ask, and again she nods. I order two of the same thing and then order the four wraps they have that she wanted to try but was too scared to ask me. I pay for the order and move to the side to wait for the cashier to bring me the bag. The door opens, and I make the mistake of looking over my shoulder and see Lilah come in, except she isn’t by herself. She’s with Caleb, who is saying something to make her laugh. She must feel me staring at her because her eyes meet mine in surprise, no doubt. She’d never expect to see me here, especially at lunch, since I usually just grab something on the go at the barn.
She stops near us, and I see Lucy look at her, and her eyes light up. “Lucy,” Lilah says as if she hasn’t seen her for a week. “I never thanked you for my donut.” She smiles at her. “You left it on my desk, and it was such a nice surprise.” Lucy smiles up at her. “Did you go to your new school?” she asks, and Lucy nods. “I want to hear all about it.” She looks at Caleb. “How about I come and find you when I get back from lunch? We can go visit the horses.” She nods ferociously, then finally looks at me. “If that’s okay with your dad.”
“That’s fine.” I look back down at Lucy. “Let’s get our lunch and leave Lilah to her date.” I put my hand on her shoulder and usher her out of the bakery. I push the door open, holding it on top to have Lucy walk out before me, taking one last look at Lilah, wishing she was coming with us.