Chapter 30 – Emmett
Chapter Thirty
EMMETT
I watch her eyes. “I’m going to come,” I say, knowing she’s already there, her pussy dripping wet, waiting for that moment to let go. “I need you to give it to me.” I fuck her faster, wanting her to come with me at the same time. “And then I need you to take what I give you.”
Her hand comes up to my face as my heart soars in my chest. “Always,” she whispers right before she comes on my cock, her pussy pulsating around me as I close my eyes and plant myself in her.
I collapse down on her when I’m done, the sensation like I’ve never felt before. Everything with her is like I’ve never felt before. But tonight, I wasn’t fucking her. Tonight, I made love to her. I wanted her to know how special she was. I wanted her to know there was no one else I wanted with me in my bed.
“Condom,” she whispers as I open my eyes. “We didn’t use anything.”
“Fuck,” I swear, looking down at where we are joined and pulling out, seeing my cock without a condom. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” The back of my neck feels like it’s being branded. “What the fuck?”
“Emmett,” she says, “I’m on the pill.” She sits up, and her hand covers her chest before she moves to get off the bed. “I—” she says, and all I can do is watch her, knowing she is the first woman who I’ve ever been without a condom with. The first woman who I’ve ever felt so comfortable with that I didn’t even think. “It’s—” she says again as she grabs her clothes. “I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone in a while.” She avoids looking at me. “You can get tested if you like.” I can see the tears well in her eyes.
“Lilah,” I call, and she bends to grab her bra, ignoring me. “Lilah,” I call her name again, and she looks at me, and I see the tears as she tries to fight them away. “Come here, baby.” I move to the edge of the bed, sitting down, but she doesn’t move toward me. “Please, baby, come here.” I hold out my hand to her, and she comes to me. She steps between my legs, her clothes in her hands covering her chest. I grab her things out of her hands and toss them to the other side of the room, where she can’t take them. “Baby,” I say, looking up at her as I hold her hips in my hands, needing to feel her. “I’ve never in my life been so into someone I forgot to use a condom. Never, not even with Lucy’s mom.” The confession shocks her. “I have never in my life put myself in that position before. I’m clean.” I’m fumbling with my words. “It’s been over two years since I was with someone.” I won’t tell her the reason is because I fell so in love with her that no one compared to her.
“But you’re you,” she starts, and now my eyebrows pinch together, “and you have condoms in your drawer.”
“They were a gag gift from Charlie at Christmas. He told me I’d be a nicer person if I got laid.” She giggles. “You have to get cleaned up.” I stand. “Want me to bring you a cloth?” I ask, and she shakes her head.
“I’m going to go get cleaned up. I’ll be right back.” She turns and walks to the bathroom, and I let out a breath, looking up at the ceiling in my room.
I walk over to the bed, tossing the throw pillows onto the floor before sliding into my side of the bed as she comes out of the bathroom.
“Are you okay?” I ask as she slides into bed beside me. I reach for her, pulling her to me as she lays her head on the pillow beside me.
“I’m good,” she confirms. “What about you?”
“I’m good.” I nod at her. “More than good.”
“Oh, yeah?” She wraps her arms around my neck. “That’s good to know.”
“Do you have to do homework tomorrow?” I ask, knowing she’s almost done with school.
“Yeah.” She sighs. “I’m almost done, and I’m counting down the days.”
“So what are you doing when you are done with school?” I watch her face light up.
“Hopefully, I can work for Charlie in the field, helping people. He was thinking of opening up a new branch, and he might need extra hands.”
“The new branch is not here.” My heart speeds up. “It’s like two hours away.”
“I know, I’m hoping he’ll have a place on his roster here. But if I have to work there first and then transfer back here, I’ll do that.”
“Then what?” I don’t even know what that question means.
“Then I guess I do what the storybooks say I should do, get married and have children.” She laughs as the pit of my stomach feels like it’s burning. I knew she would want children, fuck, it’s only normal. It’s what everyone wants. Everyone but me. “I don’t want to do it right away,” she keeps talking, “but eventually, I think it’s the best gift you could give the person you love.”
“What is?”
“A child.” She smiles. “A little piece of each of you created in this little person made with love.” She smiles again. “It’s the best gift you can give, I think,” she mumbles and I’m not sure I can say anything. Thinking about her words, knowing I love her, knowing I’ve been in love with her for sure for the last two years. Knowing if there was anyone in this world I would want to share my life with, it would be her. Knowing she is the only one I would make these promises for. Knowing she is only makes it that much harder.
No matter how much I want to give her these things, I know one thing. I can’t.
“I’m beat.” I turn to the side and shut off the lights, taking her back into my arms. “Night, baby,” I say, not wanting to say another word. Not wanting to hear what else she wants out of her life because I know I’m so in love with her I’m willing to make those promises even though I know I can’t do it.
She puts her head on my chest, her arm around my waist as she snuggles up to me. She falls asleep way before me. Her breathing finally puts me to sleep.
The doorbell rings the following morning as soon as we walk out of the bedroom. My hair is wet from the shower, as Lilah heads to the kitchen to make coffee and pretend she wasn’t in the shower with me. I disarm the alarm and open the door, seeing Lucy there. “Hi,” she mumbles, and I can see it will be another long day for her.
“They slept two hours,” Brock mumbles. “I don’t know how they do it.”
I laugh. “Remember when you were younger and would fuck around all night long and then go to work the next day?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t remember that.”
“I do,” I reply, grabbing her bag from him. “Thanks for having her over. My turn next time.”
“Yeah, that’s what you said last time,” he mutters, turning and walking back to his truck.
I walk back inside and catch Lucy on the couch, with a smiling Lilah behind the counter. “How tired are you?” I ask as Lilah hands me my coffee mug. She mumbles something. “So you can’t ride Rosy?”
She springs up. “I think I need to shower, and then I’ll be okay,” she declares, getting off the couch and heading to her room, leaving Lilah and me laughing.
“Lilah has to do homework, so we are going to have to get out of the house today,” I explain to her retreating back. “That should get her moving.” I look over at Lilah.
“You don’t have to leave for that,” she says. “I could go to the office and work.”
“Nah,” I refute, grabbing things to make for breakfast. “I have work to do, and she can help.”
We eat breakfast, and when I walk out of the house, I head straight to the barn, shocked when I see Charlie.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as Lucy goes to Rosy to talk to her.
“Came to see how my horse was doing.” He points at the horse he’s had for the past four years. “Is that a problem?”
“Nope,” I reply. “We were going to go for a ride.”
“Heard you two got out of the house,” he prods, trying not to laugh.
“Is that what you heard?” I side-eye him.
“Word is spreading that you and Lilah left holding hands,” he continues, and I lean against the stall.
“She told me that you would give her a position up north,” I say, and Charlie nods.
“If she wants it, it’s hers. Is that okay with you?”
“Why wouldn’t that be okay with me?” I almost growl out the words.
“Well, now that you’ve got your head out of your ass, are you just going to let her leave you?” Every single time I look at her, I ask myself that same question. “Would you be okay with her leaving?” I don’t answer him; I just watch him. “Would you be okay with her being with someone else?” I stand straight. The image of me punching Charlie in the face now fills my mind.
“She wants kids,” I confide in him because he knows where I stand with this.
“You okay with her building a life with someone else?” He stares at me. “You okay with her making a child with someone who isn’t you? If you are, then let her go.” He shakes his head. “I love you like a brother, but I think if you let her go, you are going to regret it for the rest of your life. You love her, man.” If only he knew how much I love her. “Fucking admit it to yourself.”
I’m about to tell him that I have when I hear the sound of wailing and rush past him toward Lucy, tears running down her face. “She bit me,” she says, her bottom lip quivering. “I went to see if she was okay, and she bit me,” she repeats, standing next to one of the new horses we got a couple of days ago.
She cries out as I look at her arm with a red mark on it. “I didn’t even do anything. I just said hi and let him smell my hand, and then Coffee bit me,” she sobs. I hold out my arms, and she runs into them.
For the first time since she’s been with me, she accepts my hugs, crying. “It’s okay.” I rub her back, feeling the warmth fill my body. “I don’t think she meant to hurt you.” I get up, taking her with me in my arms. She puts her head on my shoulder. “Let’s get you inside and clean you up, yeah?” I tell her, and she nods. I know, just looking at her, I’m going to fight until my last breath to make sure she is safe and happy for the rest of her life. Even if it’s the only thing I’ll ever do for her.