Chapter 31 – Lilah
Chapter Thirty-One
LILAH
“N o worries, Baxter.” I smile into the phone. “We’ll see you today at four.” I disconnect the phone, putting it down as the front door opens and Emmett steps in.
The smile on my face gets even bigger when I see him. It’s a strange thing waking up with him every single morning and going to bed with him, and still being captivated by his presence. “Hey,” he says, taking off the baseball hat he’s wearing backward and scratching his head.
“Hey, how was drop-off?” I lean back in my chair and grab the coffee mug I filled up when he dropped me off right before he took Lucy to school. It’s been a week since our date out and since he held my hand in front of everyone. I thought it would be weird coming to work on Monday, but no one looked at me differently. I also didn’t hear any whispering, which I was happy about. I mean, I knew they would be talking about me, but it was nice not to have it in my face. We also don’t bring it to work. It’s not like he sucks my face every single chance he gets. He saves that for when we are behind closed doors, and I mean closed doors. He doesn’t even kiss me if Lucy is there. Which I’m grateful for since I don’t even know what to call this thing between us.
“Good,” he reports. “Saige is sleeping over tonight.” I try to hide the smile at the way he says this as if he would rather ride bareback on a skinny horse who tries to buck him off.
He’s about to say something else when Charlie comes waltzing in. “Morning,” he says, walking to my desk. “How is everyone this morning?”
“Emmett was good until he found out he’s going to have two girls over at his house. From the rumors I heard, they like to see if they can stay up all night long.”
Charlie laughs while Emmett groans and finishes his story, “Well, Brock and Everleigh are also staying for dinner.”
“Oh, good,” Charlie says, “count us in also.”
“What?” Emmett shrieks. “Who the fuck invited you?”
“I’m bringing your godson,” he tells him, and Emmett rolls his eyes.
“That excuse is on its last leg.” He points at him. “Every single time you want something, you use the child to get it.”
“I think the child has a name, does he not?” I interject while they both stare each other down. “Perhaps we should use it.”
“Whatever,” Emmett grumbles. “You better bring something. This isn’t a show up and everything will be catered event.”
“Emmett,” I say, not helping the laugh that comes out.
“I’m ordering pizza,” he tells Charlie, ignoring me. “That’s as much as you’re going to get.”
“Meat lovers, or I’m not coming,” Charlie counters, and Emmett looks at me.
“Or four pizzas, just cheese.” He stomps off after he says that, leaving both Charlie and me laughing at his retreating back.
“This should be fun.” Charlie takes a sip of his coffee and then looks back at me. “On another note, Pops just called. All is done in your apartment,” he informs me. “You can go home when you want.” He raises his eyebrows. “If he lets you, that is.” He turns and walks away from me.
I watch his back retreating and let the words sink in for a second. It’s not like we’ve spoken about how long I’m going to stay there. Even though Charlie has kept me up to date with the fact Derek hasn’t been in town since last week, I know, eventually, things have to go back to the way it was. I don’t know what is next, and I hate feeling so out of control with my life. It’s like everything is hanging in the balance, and I’m jumping from stone to stone, but each stone gets smaller and smaller.
I put my mug down beside my keyboard when the phone rings, and I have to get it. I work almost to lunch when I get up and bring my mug back to the kitchen to put in the dishwasher, stopping midway when I see Emmett sitting on his desk, writing on the clipboard in his hand as he looks up at me. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he replies as I get closer to him, his legs open, and if we were home and alone, I would walk between his legs without a second thought. “What’s up?”
“I’m going to go out for lunch,” I tell him, “and get some sweet treats for tonight.”
“Isn’t that the job of people coming to the house to bring stuff?” he asks, and I close my eyes and roll my lips. “It’s enough that they are coming over to the house.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to go and get myself something to eat, and then if they have cakes, I’ll get a couple of those.” He rolls his eyes at me. “Would you like me to get you something to eat?”
“Yeah,” he answers softly, “that would be good.”
“Will do,” I tell him and turn to walk toward the kitchen, putting my mug in the dishwasher before walking back to him. “Can I have your keys, please?” I hold out my hand and he laughs.
“They are in the truck, baby,” he says, and it’s the first time he’s said that nickname when we weren’t in bed with each other.
“See you later.” I try not to make a big deal of it as I walk back to my desk to grab my purse and then head to his truck.
I park near the bar, thinking of picking up a bottle of whiskey in case he doesn’t have any. I get out and put the keys in my purse, headed toward the bakery with my head down when I ram into someone.
I look up, and the blood drains from my body when I see Derek in front of me. He’s wearing all black, and his hands hold my arms to keep from moving. “Hey,” he says as I step back. “Sorry I scared you.”
I take a step back from him to get his hands off me. “Derek,” I whisper.
“I’ve been calling and trying to get in touch with you.” I look into his brown eyes that I thought were sweet, once upon a time. His brown hair is longer than it’s ever been. “I was hoping we could talk.”
“About what?” I ignore the way my heart is beating in my chest. “About you leaving me for dead?”
He closes his eyes as if I just struck him with something. “Yes,” he answers me, “there are things I need to say to you.”
“I don’t want to hear them,” I tell him. “I didn’t want to hear them when you asked the court to let you address me. I definitely don’t want to hear them now. I just want you to leave me alone.”
“I just want to say?—”
“I don’t care what you want to say.” I inhale. “Listen to me and listen to me clearly, Derek. I have nothing to say to you, and there is nothing you have to say that I want to hear. Please leave me alone.” I exhale as I walk away from him.
“Whatever,” he mumbles, still watching me. His head goes down, and then he looks up and nods at me before walking away.
My hands are still shaking when I get to the bakery and order lunch. Everleigh comes out to hand me my bag. “Hey.” She smiles at me and all I can do is fake it.
“Hi,” I say, grabbing the bag from her.
“I heard we are coming to your place for dinner.”
“Oh, yeah,” I reply. “I forgot to get some sweet things for dessert.” I put my hand to my head.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got you covered.”
“Sounds good.” I hold up my hand. “I have to get back to work. I’ll see you tonight.”
I turn and walk out of the bakery shop, the whole time looking around like I’m expecting Derek to jump out at me. When I get back to the barn, I spot Emmett outside talking to Bobby and Sammy, and I leave his lunch on his desk. He gives me a chin up and I head back to work.
The whole afternoon, all I can do is replay the conversation over and over in my head. Trying to calm myself before Lucy comes home, but even with her beside me and talking to me, I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of the cliff, with one foot stepping off.
When we get back to the house, she runs in before us and I dump my purse at the door and kick off my shoes. “I’m going to make a salad for tonight.” I look over at Emmett, who is eyeing me as he walks into the kitchen.
“What’s up with you?” he asks as I pull open the fridge and grab ingredients for the salad. “You’ve said maybe three words total since we got in the truck.”
“It’s nothing,” I start to say and stop when his eyebrows go up.
“But there is something.”
“I don’t want you to freak out,” I start to say as he rounds the island and stands in front of me, “but I ran into Derek today.” He stops walking, and I can see his jaw get tight. “It’s fine.” I hold up my hand. “He just—” I don’t say anything else because Lucy comes running into the room.
“Saige is on her way!” she squeals, jumping up and down. “She’s bringing cupcakes.”
I put the stuff down on the counter. “Please don’t say anything,” I whisper to him. “I’ll tell you everything after everyone leaves.” I put my hand on his chest, touching him for the first time in front of Lucy. “Please.” I look up at him as his hand comes out to grip my hip. “Let’s not ruin it for Lucy.”
“Can I help?” Lucy cuts into our staredown. “I can get a bowl.” She walks over to the cupboard to get a bowl. “I can tear the lettuce like you taught me.”
“I’ll help Lucy and you can go and take a shower,” I tell him, and he looks at me and then looks at Lucy, nodding his head, giving me a squeeze, and then walking away from me.
I let out the breath I was holding, and my head hangs forward for a second before I get started preparing the salad.
The doorbell rings five minutes after we start, and she rushes to the door. I can’t help but laugh at her big smile and her squeal when she opens the door and then the squeal is doubled. “It’s going to be a long fucking night,” he mumbles from behind me as he stands there with his front to my back. “I ordered the pizza,” he says to me, and I look over my shoulder at him, wanting him to lean in and kiss me. His hair is wet from the shower, and little water droplets are falling on his charcoal T-shirt that I wore to bed last night.
“Hey,” Brock says, “we brought cakes and beer.” He holds up the white box.
I can’t help but laugh when the doorbell rings again. “That must be Charlie,” I say, and I’m waiting for Emmett to get the door. “The door?”
“He knows where the handle is,” he retorts, leaving me and walking toward Brock. “Let me get the beer,” he offers, grabbing the case from him. “Would you like one?” he asks, and I nod.
Thirty minutes later, there is more noise than I’ve ever heard in this house. The girls are lying on the carpet in the living room playing with Billy. Brock, Charlie, and Emmett sit on the couch watching them, each with a bottle of beer in their hand.
Meanwhile, Autumn, Everleigh, and I are in the kitchen, sitting on the stools while we drink wine and chitchat about nothing and everything. Everleigh and Autumn have been best friends since they were Lucy’s and Saige’s age, so they are talking about stories from when they did sleepovers.
The doorbell rings, and Emmett gets up, going to the door and coming back with four big pizza boxes. “Jesus,” Autumn says as he places the boxes down on the counter near us, “how many people are you feeding?”
“Wasn’t sure how hungry everyone was,” he defends, coming over to me. “You got the plates?”
“Yeah,” I say, nodding.
“Who would have called this?” Brock ponders, putting his beer to his lips, smirking. “Emmett with his own woman”—Emmett glares at him—“and not trying to take someone else’s.”
“It’s called domesticated,” Charlie goads, laughing. “It looks good on him. Like a feral cat.” Emmett stares at him. “Don’t fuck it up.”
I look over at Emmett only to see him looking down at the pizza boxes, his eyes focused on nothing, but he looks like he’s in a trance. “Let’s eat.” He finally says and avoids looking at me. I watch everyone grab plates as they take pieces of the pizza and I stand here almost like a stranger in this house. Hating I feel this way and knowing tonight, after we talk about Derek, we are going to have another talk, and that one is going to at least let me know where I stand with him.