27. Luca
Chapter 27
Luca
R oman’s anger was palpable as we waited by Nicolai’s door.
Our relationship had taken a hit, and it was unusual for us to go this long on bad terms.
The only reason I was able to bring Irina to visit her brother was because I talked to Aurora and asked her to persuade Roman.
He could never say no to his wife.
My best friend leveled me with a stare. “I want her out of Italy. Away from him .”
I leaned back against the wall, hands in pockets. “You know I won’t agree to that.”
“You’re a fool,” he spat out, eyebrows pinched in exasperation. “She’s the daughter of the Pakhan , Luca. Do you understand what that means?”
That she was calculating in her steps and the Bratva would come after her and Nicolai. I understood .
“We’ll be ready if the Bratva retaliates.” My voice was dangerously low when I said, “But I’m not letting her go.”
“Ready?” he scoffed, raking through his hair roughly. “You’ve hardly been useful as leader of the Camorra. What makes you think you could handle war when I’ve been picking up your slack?”
I chewed the inside of my cheek, knowing he was right. My mind wasn’t fully in the right headspace and everything I did for the Camorra sent me into a spiral filled with wrath.
Carrying after my father’s footsteps never sat well with me and if it hadn’t been for torturing him almost every other day, it wouldn’t have been worth it even a sliver.
“Even if you don’t think so, you’re still my brother,” I said as he stared at me hard until he sighed and turned away. “I want her . Whatever it takes.”
“Does she want you ?”
“Did Aurora want you at first?” I shot back, walking toward him. “How is it any different from what I’m doing?”
“Because my son is now involved!” His obsidian eyes glowed with fury as he pointed toward Nico’s door. “And I’ll be damned if anyone tries taking him away.”
My heart pounded against my chest, lost for words. It was the first time he admitted how he saw our youngest member.
“I would never hurt him intentionally.” My voice was low and definite. “Irina would never hurt him.”
“Irina.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was her people who beat him half to death. ”
I sympathized with him, but he was illogical in every sense. “Why do you act oblivious to Irina being in the same position as her brother? She was also there! Drugged and tortured.”
“I blame her for all of it.” His jaw ticked; face consumed with hatred. “And nothing will change that. If she had never come here, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“You’re being unreasonable. You know she’s not at fault for what happened.”
“No, I don’t,” he strained out, getting in my face. “I don’t know shit because whoever the fuck did this covered their tracks. They were strategic and clearly strapped with resources.”
That’s why he thought it was the Bratva. Aside from them being ruthless and intelligent, he had no other leads yet. Still, it wouldn’t make sense to blame them when Irina was the Pakhan’s daughter.
Unless there was a bigger play at hand.
“Wait.” My mind tumbled, the pieces of the narrative coming together. “You knew Nico’s background. That’s why you were on the fence about affiliating with them when Viktor came to visit.”
He pressed his lips into a thin line, the answer evident on his tired face. “I didn’t think they’d known about him.”
Irina’s lies kept piling. I was almost certain Viktor wasn’t an exporter and that he’d been in Italy for the same reason as her.
It was then that Nico’s door opened, Irina storming past us until she disappeared down the hall.
“While you run after her, you might want to think long and hard about who you’re risking everything for.” He waved his hand mockingly. “Go on, ask her about Viktor and why he was really here.”
Then he disappeared inside the room, leaving me to follow the one person who would be my demise.
When I stepped outside, I saw Irina walk past the bike, her steps furious.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” I called out to her, frustration building inside me. With Roman’s anger issues and Irina’s chaos, I had enough.
“To hell!”
My own feet beat against the gravel as I caught up to her before lifting her off the ground.
Her legs kicked in the air as she beat her fists against my back, but it was futile. “Let me go!”
“Never,” I hissed, squeezing the back of her thigh.
Making my way back to the bike, I dropped her on it, searing a look in her direction as she bared her teeth at me.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Me?” she huffed out before laughing hysterically, eyes watering in an ocean blue. “What the hell is wrong with you ?”
She stood up and closed the space between us, face scrunching in irritation. “Do you have any idea what’s at risk the longer I stay here?”
My jaw tightened at her tone before I gripped her collar, pulling her up to me. “I do but for the life of me, I can’t find a good enough reason to let you go!”
“Why?” Her voice cracked, pressing her hands against my beating chest. “My father will come for me. Viktor will come for me!”
And there it was .
“What do you mean Viktor?” The bite in my tone made her flinch. “Why would an exporter come for you, Irina?”
“Because he’s not an exporter,” she whispered. “He’s my cousin.”
Motherfucker.
I let go of her and turned away, grabbing the back of my neck.
She had lied to me, and I aimlessly believed her.
It wasn’t a coincidence that he’d shown up at the same time Irina did. He had been here to keep an eye on her—on all of us.
“Luca.” She wrapped her hand around my bicep before standing in front of me. “Let me go. Please .” Her voice shook as she pleaded me with her drawn eyes.
My chest ached from her words. She was still in my vicinity, yet the mention of her absence was worse than her lies. It felt like shards of glass cutting me open.
They would come for her. And Nicolai.
“What does Viktor know?” I asked, the pounding of my heart painful against my ears.
“Everything,” she whispered. “He knows I was supposed to be back in Russia already.” The scar against her eye flashed more prominent under the moon. “Do you understand now? Their silence isn’t acceptance. I need to get in contact with them before this escalates.”
I searched her eyes, feeling myself drown in them and every rational thought slipped from my mind.
This wasn’t obsession. This was a visceral feeling so raw that death seemed better in comparison than removing her from my life.
She must’ve seen something in my gaze because she stepped back, her head shaking in dismay. “It doesn’t matter what I say. You won’t listen.”
“Get on the bike, Irina or I’ll do it for you.”
She held my stare, eyes narrowing as her body shook from rage. “I hate you, Luca Canaveri.”
I leaned forward, a merciless smile curving my lips. “And I hate you.” For making my heart attach itself to yours.
With nowhere to go, she grabbed her helmet and swung her leg over the seat, arms crossed over her chest in displeasure.
I’d find a solution and fast but it sure as fuck didn’t include her leaving me.
She went rigid as I sat in front of her, and I waited for her to wrap her arms around me, but the warm press of her body never came.
I ran my hands up and down her thighs for a moment before reaching for her arms, uncrossing them with force and wrapping them around my chest.
Her fingers curled into fists, and I held them close until she spread them. Sighing in relief that I still had her; I started the engine.
It didn’t take long until we reached my property.
The bike wasn’t at a full stop when Irina got off, throwing the helmet to the ground before barging through the house.
The pent-up rage buzzed beneath my skin, and I had reached my limit.
I was over this hot and cold, this fucking push and pull between us .
Turning off my bike, I followed her inside the house. The lights were off which meant Eva had gone to sleep already.
Taking the steps two at a time, I reached my bedroom before closing the door behind me.
With adrenaline pumping through my veins, I shrugged off my jacket and tossed it on the bed.
The faint glow of the bathroom light seeped through the closed door.
The hinges creaked as it banged hard against the wall when I pushed it open.
Irina didn’t react at the abruptness; her body hallway turned when I closed the space between us in quick strides. I grabbed her by the throat before slamming her against the shower door.
Her breath fanned across my face as she held my stare, fire simmering in her eyes. “Get out.”
“Not until I fix that attitude of yours.” Gripping the neckline of her shirt, I pulled it until the fabric ripped apart.
She was stubborn. Stubborn enough to not cover herself even when her chest rose and fell with quickened breaths.
With a delicate touch, I ran my fingers across her skin, feeling the raised flesh of her scars.
“You’re crazy,” she said, her voice low and wavering.
“You’ve made me this way.” I fell to my knees, hooking my fingers on the waistband of her jeans. I held her gaze as I slid them down and removed it. “Remind me how much you hate me, sweetheart.” I knew she deserved a far better man than me, but I was the only one she’d ever be with .
I leaned down, pressing a kiss to a scar on her thigh, hearing her inhale sharply. I continued my way up her body, kissing each mark until I was standing before her again. I pressed a lingering kiss to the scar above her eye. “Tell me.”
Instead of pushing me away, she held onto my biceps, nails digging into my skin as if she wanted to draw blood. “I hate you.” Her voice trembled as if she hadn’t meant it at all.
I peppered kisses along her jaw until I reached her ear, grazing my teeth along her skin. “How much?”
Irina belonged to me as much as I belonged to her. If not more.
I pulled her chin down with my free hand until she let go of her lip, blood coating the bruised flesh.
Her face flashed as I dragged my tongue across the crimson color, tasting her— hungry for her.
She tasted like everything I’d ever need to survive.
“You try so hard to appear unaffected, but you forget that I know you better than I know myself.” Leveling my gaze at her, I stared into the depths of her soul. “Now, tell me how much.” I bit down on her cut lip causing her mouth to part in a silent cry before I soothed it with my tongue again. And because I was a glutton for her dominance, I said. “Please.”
“I hate you,” she repeated, voice thick and eyes glossed over in malice. “So much that some days it feels like I can’t breathe.”
The heated look she gave me thrummed beneath my skin.
My lips twitched in amusement before I angled her face to me. “If that were true then why did it sound like the sweetest confession?” I captured her lips and slipped my tongue inside her mouth, feeling her melt against me. She met each ravenous slash of my tongue with her own. The kiss was sloppy, filthy, and painful. Exactly how I fucking wanted it.
I’d never get enough of her.
After a moment, she pushed against my chest until I was forced to pull back. She shot a glare my way. “Are you enjoying this?”
“Not as much as you are,” I said, turning her around to face the mirror.
She instantly averted her gaze. “Arrogant much?”
I grinned, pressing her back to my chest. “Only because you like it so much.”
Irina was silent and I knew it had everything to do with the position I’d put her in. “Look in the mirror, Irina,” I whispered in her ear. “Look at how beautiful you are.”
I knew she hadn’t seen herself since the accident and it killed me inside to see her avoid her reflection as if she wasn’t pure perfection.
Maybe I was an asshole for taking advantage of this moment, but I needed her to understand that she wasn’t alone. Whether it was near or from afar, I’d be her shadow.
She shook her head, resting it against my chest as if she was passing on the weight of her pain to me.
“Trust me,” I said to her.
Her breathing quickened before she slowly peered straight at the mirror.
“I want you to remember this moment every time you see yourself.” I locked eyes with her. “That I’d willingly carry your pain and if that was all you ever gave me, I wouldn’t hesitate to take it.”
She reached back until she grasped onto my neck, her tear-streaked eyes roaming over her body. “Luca…”
“I know, sweetheart.” I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, understanding that this was difficult for her. “You’re ethereal.”
My heart thrashed against my ribcage as she turned in my arms and stared up at me with vulnerability swimming in her blue eyes. “Thank you for this.” She lifted her hand, tracing the angle of my jaw with a softness that would’ve brought any man to their knees. A crease formed between her brows as she ran her hand through my buzzed hair. “And this.”
I caught her wrist, bringing it to my lips. “I would do anything for you, piccola ribelle .”
Her face conveyed an internal war she was having with herself, and I had no idea what thoughts plagued her mind, but I’d wrench it out of her soon.
I’d taken her to bed shortly after we’d showered.
With her back to my chest, I wrapped my arm around her waist and rested my face into the crook of her neck.
I might’ve used my body wash on her, wanting my scent to linger against her skin—even though I’d stocked the bathroom with her addicting amber scent.
When Irina’s breathing evened out, I thought she’d fallen asleep, but her voice broke the silence. “The nightmares started after my first panic attack. ”
I pressed her further into me to let her know I was awake. I’d waited for Irina to share parts of herself with me willingly, and I would’ve waited longer.
“In each one I’m trapped in a dark room, the walls closing in on me until I can’t breathe.” Her hand was cold as she set it atop mine, holding onto me.
I’d seen what her nightmares did to her, and it scared the fuck out of me.
I didn’t say anything, giving her the power to continue at her own pace. I only hoped that my presence brought her comfort in her vulnerability.
“When I left Russia at eighteen, I never wanted to be tied to who I was before,” she whispered, curling in on herself. “But when you’re hidden away from the rest of the world for most of your life and you’re finally free, it brings a different type of loneliness to a person. I couldn’t escape who I was.”
Envisioning Irina as a child, alone and afraid sent a fiery rage through me. It was hard to imagine her in that way when she was nothing like that person now. “Why were you hidden away?”
“A father’s love can be suffocating.” She turned around until she was facing me, a furrow deepening between her brows. “It’s hard to despise him when all he ever wanted to do was protect me from our world.”
Yet, she’d been hurt either way.
“But I felt so alone, Luca.” The broken tone of her voice chipped away at my soul, and I held her a little closer. “For eighteen years, I had little to no communication with anyone outside of the manor.” As if she needed validation for her own trauma, she added with a tight laugh, “It was hard to not let it affect me when the few people I talked to were on payroll. Aside from my parents, who were occupied most of the time with business, I was left to my own devices.” A sigh escaped her. “I hadn’t even gotten involved in the Bratva’s business until after I left Russia.”
It was extreme for her father to have done that to her but with being the leader of the Bratva, it seemed that he let his paranoia drive his motives and was too conflicted to see how it affected his daughter.
“I see you.” I cupped her face, caressing her cheek with my thumb. “I hear you, sweetheart.”
She grabbed my hand and leaned into it further as if it were her anchor to keep going. “The silence became unbearable, trapping me in my own mind and I didn’t know how to stop myself from spiraling—to even explain how badly I was hurting right here.” She pointed to her heart as her face twisted in agony. “I hid my emotions deep inside the hollowness of my chest where it festered. But then you came into my life.” Her blue eyes searched mine, and I felt myself fall for her further. That’s what happened when Irina set her gaze on me, she utterly consumed me in every way. “And it terrified me that someone could read me so thoroughly without knowing me.”
From the moment I first saw her, I knew she’d be mine. One way or another I would’ve had her.
“At first, I avoided you because I knew you were trouble and my father would disown me if I was involved with an Italian.” She shook her head, and a tear slipped from her eye. “Then I avoided you because I realized I didn’t want to do that at all. The incessant feeling in my chest wouldn’t go away. And I keep pushing you away-”
I cut her off with a kiss, taking her pain for myself. “The first time I pulled you out of a nightmare,” I started, my heart picking up speed as I recalled that night. “I felt the same helplessness I did when my mother was killed in front of me. That was the moment I realized how desperately I needed you.”
Her blue eyes misted over before she pressed her lips to my jaw, chasing away my demons with each tender kiss.
I gripped her neck, making her face me again. “You could never push me away, Irina. I’m right here. I’ll always be right here with you.”