Chapter Eleven #2
“We haven’t matched like this in over a decade,” I say as Amelia and I stare at ourselves in the mirror. I found two athletic racerback one-piece suits, her swimming class attire, with the exact same blue body and orange-outlined straps. “Why do you have two of the same exact swimsuit?”
“It was the one on sale because apparently no one wanted this color.” She slides on a pair of shorts. “I got two so that I wouldn’t have to wash them as often.”
There’s no text response from Declan, and I decide to leave my phone in the room, along with my hearing aids; without them in, the world falls into a hushed hum.
Without the amplified volume, everything around me fades away, settling into the background like I’m acting in my own movie and the only sounds that matter are the ones I seek out.
The rest is just noise.
It lends a childhood-vacation quality to this night that clashes with how grown-up it feels to be on our own.
I’m in a hotel with my sister, in dorky matching swimsuits, but without our parents or any supervision.
We’re the adults here? That doesn’t seem right.
The strong chlorine scent takes me back to wanting to cannonball into the deep end, my dad frowning in the distance, and my mom yelling something about not running that I can’t quite hear and therefore ignore.
We drop our stuff on an empty table, and Amelia slides into the deep end from the ledge while I walk slowly down the shallow steps.
The water isn’t cold, but it’s not warm, either, and takes adjusting to, but after being scrunched up in the car all day, it feels amazing to submerge and spread my limbs about.
I wade forward until the water rises to my chin and I have to stand on my toes to keep above the surface.
Once or twice, there’s someone walking past the window in the hallway, but neither Declan nor Grady has shown up. I settle in, feeling like there’s a good chance they won’t want to join us in the pool, so it can just be my sister and me.
Like this whole trip was supposed to be.
Amelia swims a few laps across the narrow side of the deep end without much effort. She then drifts over in my direction, floating on her back nearby, keeping her voice loud and accessible. “Should I do?” she calls out, but I’ve missed what she’s asking about.
“What?” I ask.
She drops her legs and stands upright beside me. “A triathlon.”
“A triathlon?” I’m almost positive I hadn’t heard correctly. “Don’t you have to, you know, run?”
She scrunches her face. “That part wouldn’t be fun. But my friends have been talking about training for one.”
“Your swimming-class friends?”
She nods but seems to change her mind as quickly as she made it up.
“Though I probably won’t have regular access to a pool or bike this summer during the abroad program since we’ll be traveling so much.
I should see how they do with the race this fall and then decide if I want to join them next year. ”
“If they hate it, then you never have to do it,” I agree.
She laughs. “They won’t hate it.”
“And you think the running part will be fine enough?”
“It’s not like they’re going to load up the course with obstacles. I doubt I’d trip,” she says, unbothered, before pointing toward the door I hadn’t heard or seen open. “I think I can guess who’s here.”
Declan steps inside the pool area wearing athletic shorts. He says something to us as he drops off his stuff on the same table, sliding off his T-shirt and adding it to the pile.
“Lee, what did Declan say?”
Amelia ignores my question and gives me a pointed look instead. “Just so you know, I’m leaving if Grady shows up.”
“I don’t understand your friendship with him,” I say. “Do you like him or hate him?”
She tilts her head back, considering her words, but there’s a trace of a smile creeping onto her face. “No, he’s nice and everything, but I can only listen to someone name-drop members of Congress for so long before it becomes too much.”
“Okay, but what did Declan just say? I couldn’t hear him.” I still need her to repeat whatever he said when he arrived.
She dips beneath the water, popping up a few feet away from me, too far for me to catch what she says, so I have to paddle after her.
More childhood flashbacks, honestly—chasing after my sister just to stay in the know. “What?” I insist.
“That Grady’s upstairs on a call.” She hops around on her toes. “I’ll probably swim a few more laps, then head back upstairs so I can shower first.”
“You assume you get to shower first?” I tease, crossing my arms.
Also feeling childish, she sticks out her tongue, splashes water in my face, and swims away. I try to follow, but she’s actually learned a thing or two in that class, because I can’t catch up to her.
Now shirtless, Declan steps toward the pool but doesn’t get in.
I tiptoe over to the edge in strides, like bouncing across the moon, very similar to the void of space because I can’t hear what he’s saying.
Why isn’t he getting in the water? But it’s made clear when he points over his shoulder to the hot tub.
“Oh, nice,” I say, nodding.
He continues talking as he walks over and hits the button and the bubbles roar to life. He waves again for me to join as he slinks into the water. Maybe I sort of already agreed to when I nodded?
I dip beneath the water, screaming internally.
This is not how I wanted the night to go. But of course I’m going to join him in the freaking hot tub.
We’re friends, aren’t we? It’s normal for friends to hang out together. You know what, I wanted to go sit in the hot tub anyway, so this is fine.
I self-consciously climb up the pool stairs, holding my arms tight across my chest, shivering as I hurry over to the hot tub, plunking down into the warm water.
Cold to hot.
Though fully anticipated, it still sends a shock through my system.
I’m across from Declan, and he says something, but as I sit on this bench, it’s still incredibly difficult to hear him with the roar of bubbles at my shoulders. There’s too much competition noise, and I’ve never been the best at lipreading. But also, with Declan, I’m maybe a little distracted.
I just smile and nod, uncharacteristically quiet.
The way he stretches out his neck, I can tell Declan is speaking up a little louder, but I return a vacant smile. Another nod.
What am I doing here?
If he hadn’t gathered already, Declan deduces what’s going on and slides around the circular bench until he’s next to me, close enough that I can pick up on the low register of his voice, just crossing the threshold of what I can catch, and also stare at those lips of his.
With a grin, he asks, “You haven’t heard a single word I’ve been saying, have you? ”
I smile—for real this time, recognition alight in my eyes—and shake my head.
Which still leaves him guessing. “You can hear me now, though?”
I grin, teeth showing, as I nod, not quite ready to talk since I know my voice will come across louder and unregulated because I can’t hear myself, either.
This is something I’m usually not self-conscious about.
Until now.
“No swimsuit?” I ask, but I apparently overcorrected and didn’t add enough volume.
He just laughs and slides another inch closer until we’re less than an arm’s reach away to say, “You’re whispering, Iris.”
“Right,” I say, too loudly, but he doesn’t seem bothered. “Just wearing shorts?”
“It was either that or follow your lead and steal from my brother’s wardrobe.” He shakes his head. “But he didn’t have a suit for me to borrow. Well, not of the swimming variety. He’s got professional work attire for days.”
“Better than nothing,” I say, and immediately regret saying the word nothing when we’re already less dressed than usual. I can’t stop the blush spreading across my cheeks.
“Lucky that we got the hot tub without a bunch of kids hanging out in here,” he says.
“I think the last time I was in a hot tub was when I was one of those kids hanging out in here.” I’m definitely shouting over these bubbles. This is so cringe. “But our parents would make me and Amelia get out if they saw an adult looking angrily in our direction.”
I glance over my shoulder to check on Amelia in the pool and catch a glimpse of her leaving out the doorway without saying goodbye, her hair dripping a trail of water in her wake.
“Oh, she left,” I say to myself.
Though Declan probably hears. He shrugs.
I don’t know what I expected when I decided to go to the pool.
Maybe I had some innocent picture of the four of us playing a game—someone finding a Nerf football and breaking into teams, throwing it across the length of the water.
Or going back and forth taking turns jumping into the deep end.
And maybe, on some other night, we still would’ve gotten up to more silly antics.
But right now it’s just Declan and me in this hot tub.