Chapter 23
Zephyr
Iwasn”t the kind of guy who lost his temper. It happened but rarely, and when it did, it was epic.
I”d always been careful about how I let the inside show on my outside. Growing up, I leaned on Rome and Angela for support rather than my mother—because Camille had zero maternal instincts. I kept my distance from Grandpère because he was emotionally unavailable. All my life, I chose to stay away from emotional upheaval. No mystery as to why I did that. I wasn”t fond of getting hurt.
I never fell in love and not because I was working hard not to; it just never happened. I enjoyed women. I let them enjoy me, and I usually kept my encounters drama free for the most part. There was always a tourist who was up for a good time and before she got too attached, she had a plane to catch and go back to her real life.
I was considered the hound dog of the Quarter, and I didn”t really care what anyone thought. How I lived my life was my business as long as I was not intentionally hurting anyone.
But Grace was different. I wasn”t the kind of man who lived in denial, so I accepted that. But I also knew that I was not ready to analyze my feelings for her. Between trying to let everyone know I”m a gambling addict with money problems while hoping and praying a Russian hitman didn”t have a sniper rifle pointed at me but that there was a Russian fixer wanting to try to corrupt me, a journey into self-awareness was not high priority.
Grace wasn”t the first person to tell me I was promiscuous. She was, however, the first person who hurt me by saying it. Since we got together, I”d been loyal to her. I hadn”t even looked at another woman. That should have had my warning bells go off, but those fuckers were on vacation, it appeared. I liked the comfort of being with Grace, of the peace I had with her, of holding her, taking care of her, showing her the delights of her own body, and learning them for myself.
The worst thing was that I missed her. I never missed anyone—not family, not friends, no one. I could subsist on my own company for days, and I was fine with hanging out with acquaintances. I didn”t need a daily dose of deep connection.
I needed Grace. Broken, terrified, courageous, powerful Grace. She was smart and sexy, and her lingerie was a wet dream wrapped in silk. She was everything I never thought I wanted.
”That”s a major scowl on your face,” Blaze noted. I saw his reflection on the floor-to-ceiling walls of the BBH offices.
”I miss Grace.” I was baffled by my feelings, and my surprise was evident in my tone of voice.
”Yeah?” Blaze pondered. ”You in love with her?”
”Don”t know. I like her somethin” fierce. I want to be inside her all the fuckin” time. I hear her voice on the phone, and I”m ready to blow a nut.”
Blaze and I had always had an easy relationship when it came to talking about feelings, women, and sex. He was the one who”d taught me about the birds and the bees.
”I have this urge to be with Nick all the time or, at least, know where she is.” Blaze watched my reflection in the window. ”She doesn”t know it, but I have an app on her phone to track her. I”m really hoping this feeling eases up ”cause it”s fuckin” with my head.”
”Nick”s gonna kick your ass when she finds out you have an app on her phone.”
Blaze chuckled. ”She”s a Krav Maga expert, so she actually can kick my ass. I love her. I”ve never loved anyone the way I love her. If someone told me that was how they felt about their woman, I”d say the asshole was obsessed.”
”I don”t need to know where Grace is all the time,” I paused, ”just some of the time when I think about her.”
”How often do you think about her?”
I sighed. ”She”s gotten under my skin, and for the first time, I don”t want her to get out. I want to keep her there.”
Blaze patted my shoulder. ”Yeah, it sucks to lose control of your own mind and body. Love is a pain in the ass that way.”
”I have a feeling she thinks of me as a booty call.”
”I guess you”ll just have to find a way to convince her otherwise.” Blaze looked around, and his jaw tightened. Hugo was hovering close by. ”How much money do you owe Eddie this time?” he rage whispered.
I wanted to groan. This whole charade was getting old. My irritation, hence was not an act. ”None of your business, B.” I walked away from him and nodded to Hugo who was watching us as he drank his coffee.
We were waiting for the board meeting to start in the lobby outside the boardroom. I went to the breakfast table and got myself another cup of coffee.
”Hey, Z, I…heard you”re having money troubles.” Hugo kept his voice down as he came up behind me.
”You heard wrong,” I snapped.
I saw Henri at the other end of the room. I hated that Grace didn”t want Henri to be read in on the operation. I knew he”d worry about me. He”d called a couple of times already, asking me this and that without outright saying, ”Son, I hear you have a gambling addiction.”
I have to say Grace”s plan of using strategic conversations and action had paid off. I was starting to even feel like an addicted loser.
Henri walked up to me. ”Can we talk after the meeting?” he asked softly.
”Sure, Henri,” I said with false cheer. He”d be heartbroken that I”d gone on this path. I knew he expected that from the other Doucets but not Blaze, Gaia, or me. We were the golden Doucets, according to him, the good ones.
”Everyone, we”re ready.” Miss Matty”s voice rang through the lobby as she opened the boardroom”s double doors.
As I took my seat at the BBH board meeting, the weight of my role hung heavily on me. The polished mahogany table reflected the somber expressions of its occupants—a collection of the company”s most influential figures. Rome sat at the head, his demeanor calm but authoritative, while Blaze, my brother, offered me a subtle nod of encouragement from across the table.
The agenda was dense, but my part was clear. I was to push for a series of risky investments, playing the part of the desperate new member, hungry for quick returns to alleviate my supposed financial woes.
”As you all know,” I began, my voice steady despite the internal dissonance, ”our position allows us to take calculated risks that can yield significant returns. I believe it”s time we capitalize on that.”
Henri raised an eyebrow, his pen pausing over his notepad. ”And what sort of risks are we talking about, Zephyr?”
I leaned forward, my hands clasped in front of me. ”High-reward ventures. I know we”re staying away from hazardous materials, but that”s where the money is and—.”
”That”s a bad idea,” Imran, one of the new BBH board members, said. ”We don”t have the infrastructure for that.”
”Let”s build it and—”
”We don”t have money to invest in that,” Rome countered.
”Let”s get some contracts in and use the initial contract money to build the infrastructure—and do a little creative accounting and project management.” That did sound risky as hell.
”I don”t understand the need for this,” Henri used his lawyer voice, the serious one.
Rome observed me quietly, his expression unreadable. I could feel the room”s tension rise, like the quiet before a storm. Miss Matty, Rome”s EA, scribbled notes furiously, her gaze flicking between me and Rome.
”Look, we”ll all make more money,” I replied.
”Zephyr, we know why you need more money.” This came surprisingly from Aunt Clare who never ever spoke at these meetings.
”What does that mean?” Blaze came to my defense as we”d discussed.
Aunt Clare shrugged. ”Like father like son is all I”m saying.”
”Aunt Clare, what the hell you sayin”?” Blaze bit out. Now he was really angry. Talking about our father in a disparaging light was a no-go with my brother.
”Just that Sebastian also had a problem with betting on horses,” Uncle Pierre piped in. He wasn”t completely wasted, but then it was early in the day.
”I don”t know where y”all are hearin” this bullshit, but I ain”t having no problems.” I banged my fist on the table. ”Come on, Blaze, you wanted me on the board; I”m here. If my opinions don”t count, I don”t know why you wanted to fuck my life up by dragging me into this corporate bullshit.”
Blaze chimed in then, supporting my argument with calculated enthusiasm. ”Zephyr has a point. We”ve been too conservative. It”s time for BBH to make some bold moves.”
Imran leaned back in his chair, his analytical mind visibly sifting through the implications. He didn”t know that I was the bait, and this was an orchestrated conversation. He thought I was really off my rocker.
”Risks like these require thorough vetting. We can”t afford blind gambles. And the scrutiny on us will only increase if we add hazardous waste transportation to our portfolio.”
”We can handle that. What do you say, Henri?” It crushed me to see the disappointment in his eyes.
”I don”t know, Z,” he said somberly.
”Hugo, Clare, Pierre,” I addressed the other board members directly, ”you”ve seen the projections. The potential for growth is immense. Yes, there”s a risk, but isn”t that the cornerstone of entrepreneurship?”
Rome put his hands on the table. ”Growth, yes, but at what cost? We must consider the long-term impacts on the company”s stability.”
The discussion spiraled into a spirited debate, each member weighing in with their perspectives. Rome eventually called for order, his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer than necessary. ”We”ll table this discussion for now. Further analysis is required before we make such decisive moves.”
We moved on to other topics on the agenda. I texted Grace to let her know that I”d thrown down the gauntlet at the board meeting, and now everyone either pitied or hated my ass.
Grace replied: I”m sorry this is hard for you.
Wanting to strike back because I was still hurt by what she”d said to me, I replied: Like you give a shit.
Christ! I was turning into a Goddamn teenager, and if I wasn”t careful, Grace would probably knee me in my nuts again. Grace didn”t dignify my message with a response. She also ghosted me for the next couple of days. I didn”t apologize. I was still pissed about the ”get someone to dance on your dick” remark. If only I didn”t miss her. The only thing that made me feel better was Ash telling me to go kiss n” make up with Grace cause she was in her stick-up-the-ass mood, and he guessed it was because of me.