Xander #4
“Oh, I mean, I know you’re probably not an expert, but I’m good-looking enough and can be charming to people who aren’t misanthropic… enough to get laid,” he said with a snort. “I was just, uh…well, it was a busy few days before I got here.”
“Days. You were so desperate to get off after a few days that you did that?”
“Man, it is not my fault I have a high sex drive that occasionally surges into overdrive, alright?”
“I love all the sharing we’re doing; it makes me feel all warm and tingly.”
“Well, consider this a warning. Don’t touch topics that might induce me to over-share, because I probably will.”
“Clearly,” I said, and then, despite hating that it would sound bad, I had to address the topic.
“After your comment about Jake, which I agreed with, and Mika…you should know it’s not technically wrong for you to be…
involved with anyone here. But you know, be smart about it.
Drama of that sort is a quick way to get your ass launched out of this outpost and put somewhere else. ”
He watched me for a moment before chuckling. “You have this conversation with Mika too?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, I was originally going to say, at an all-male outpost, save for Cait, obviously, you probably never had to worry about having the ‘watch where you stick your dick’ conversation with someone while you were in charge. Maybe there was someone else before Mika, but—”
“Oh.”
He eyed me, then snorted. “So, you didn’t have that conversation with him.”
I could only stare. If I lied, he could tell, and somehow being caught in a lie was worse than being caught by the truth.
“Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully. “So, did you have that conversation with me because you didn’t trust me to behave?”
“I didn’t say I didn’t trust you,” I shot back instantly, surprised to find that was the truth.
“Then it’s some unknown second reason I can’t come up with,” he said, sounding more intrigued than upset. “Gonna explain, or do I have to figure it out?”
“Look, you made a joke about Jake and, about my…” I began and then cleared my throat.
“Mika has never made any comment about his sexuality or about other guys. So I never thought about saying anything to him. You did, so now I’m…
warning you. Do what you want with whoever you want, just don’t let any shit spill over into the job. ”
“Huh, okay, that makes sense,” he said with a thoughtful expression and shrugged. “Guess I missed that as the second reason.”
He laughed, and I relaxed. He was an odd man to figure out.
Colin was clearly laid back and didn’t take things seriously, which was directly opposed to my personality.
As he’d proven from the first time I brought him into the building, he was clearly capable and more than willing to be deadly serious when the occasion called for it.
Honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact that our introduction involved me catching him at an incredibly awkward moment persisting in my thoughts, then I might have been more comfortable around him. The problem was that had happened, and despite the frustrating fact, I couldn’t shake the association.
Maybe it wasn’t fair, but when was anything in life ever fucking fair?
He raised a finger and bounced it back and forth as if deflecting between my eyes. “You’re thinking. And I can’t tell if those thoughts are pissing you off or if that’s just your thinking face.”
I pushed away from the exam table and stepped forward, smacking his hand down.
“Quit trying to read my thoughts and predict what’s going on with me.
I’ll be a good little patient and make sure I do shit to bring my blood pressure down.
I can’t make you guys stop being idiots, and I can’t make my ex-wife hate my guts any less or stop messaging and harassing me, but I can… try.”
“Good,” he said, cocking his hips in a way that was unnecessary and confusing. “And—”
I blinked. “Huh?”
“And you’ll take your meds as prescribed,” he suggested with a shake of his head.
“You had better not tell me to stop having my drinks or my occasional cigar.”
He blinked. “You smoke?”
“I have three to five cigars…a year.”
“Ugh, alright, I’m going to count that as medically negligible, even though I’m sure any reasonable doctor would sigh and tell you to give those up too.”
“But you’re not going to, are you?”
“Nope,” he said brightly, using the counter to hop up on so I was the one almost between his legs.
If I didn’t know better, it would feel like he was trying to seduce me.
That, however, didn’t fit with the way he’d acted before.
He was a smartass and wasn’t afraid to push the limits a bit to figure things out, but I didn’t think the limit he was going to push was my heterosexuality or our professional relationship.
Admittedly, a relationship that was bound to be more evenly balanced in the future, like it was with Cait compared to the rest of my team, but still.
“Why?” I asked, wanting to step back, but I knew I wasn’t close enough to be suggestive to anyone. Stepping away would just make it weird for both of us instead of just in my head.
“Because I firmly believe that unless something is causing you actual harm, it’s a good thing to have a few bad things that make you feel good. Little, slightly dangerous treats are bad for the body overall, but they’re good for the heart and soul, which can make them even better for the body.”
“How…homeopathic,” I said. “Am I free to go?”
“Yep,” he said brightly. “You are freed from the burdens I have so cruelly put on your shoulders.”
“Whatever, smartass,” I said, walking off. “And don’t get any stupid ideas, you’re still an annoying idiot…one who’d better keep his fucking mouth shut if he knows what’s good for him.”
“You know, I wonder why you think a threat was the right call when I already told you I was going to keep my mouth shut.”
“I don’t know you from someone off the street.”
“True, but if you don’t know how to trust people, just say that.
Threatening them after they’ve already sworn they weren’t going to do something is just…
tacky,” he said, kicking his feet, his voice light.
“As a matter of fact, so tacky and insulting it makes you look like an unreasonable prick. And who would trust an unreasonable prick in charge of them?”
I stared at him. “Excuse me?”
“But that can’t be the case, right? I mean, these men clearly trust you, so that means that theory can’t be right, so…huh, I wonder what compelled you to threaten me? Is it just how you start a relationship with someone? Or am I special?”
“Do you have a fucking point?”
“Yeah, on top of my professional advice, I’ll give you a personal piece of advice.”
“I’m waiting with bated breath,” I said dryly.
His smile never left his face, but his gaze had a lot more than just steel flecks when he spoke. “Don’t piss off the doc.”
I stared at him, considering my options but settling on a dirty look and turning to leave him to his…
whistling. I had no idea what kind of attempt that was: a warning, intimidation, trying to put us more or less on the same level.
Not that any of those attempts were remotely effective, but I’d had enough conversation to last me at least a couple of days.
It wasn’t as if we wouldn’t have plenty of time to get to know one another, and for him to figure out how shit worked.