Chapter 31
The silence in the room aches.
Devon and Stevie exchange a look, and then Devon speaks. “Poet, are you sure?”
No. Yes. I don’t know.
“I’m . . . sure,” I say, hoping I sound more confident than I feel. Probably not.
Devon shakes his head and rubs a hand along the back of his neck.
“You said I had a choice, and this is what I choose.”
I’m making a mistake. I’ll tear my family apart. This will put me so much closer to the Extinguishers and their scrutiny. But . . . Trinity needs me, and it might be what I need to get me away from Knox once and for all.
“Is this actually about Knox?” Devon asks, almost like he’s reading my mind. “Because you can’t throw everything away just to piss off your dad. I get that it feels good right now, but you need to think of your future.”
Is that what I’m doing?
But I don’t want to piss my dad off. That would be a trivial thing to do.
What I want is a voice in my own life.
This choice will only make my life harder in so many ways. I don’t know why it matters so much to Devon, but I’m over worrying about how my choices affect the men in my life.
He’s not even in my life. Why does he care at all?
I turn to Stevie, who’s watching the entire exchange silently.
“Will House Aria have me?” I ask, and she studies me.
“I admit, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea,” she says. “These tests are supposed to be a clear and easy choice, but watching you save them both . . .”
She scans me up and down with an obvious sort of approval.
“Makes you far more interesting than I first thought. Why did you do it?”
“It . . . seemed like the right thing to do.”
Stevie nods. “I can’t make them like you. You understand you are the daughter of a rival House’s scion, yes? No one will trust you. They’ll all think you’re a spy or intent on some form of sabotage.”
I huff out a short breath. “Do you think I’m a spy?”
Stevie wrinkles her nose and folds her arms. “I don’t think you’re a spy. I think . . .” She shakes her head. “Well, it doesn’t matter what I think. No one will stop you if you want to pledge to House Aria.”
“But you should be the one to tell your father,” Devon says.
Right. Of course.
“What about Trinity?” I ask. “She just told me she’s also pledging to Aria.”
Stevie sighs. “Yeah. Another thing I’ll need to deal with.” She shakes her head. “Tonight has definitely shaken things up. Is that why you did this? Because of your friend?”
I shrug. “Partly.”
Stevie appraises me with another look. “Then she’s lucky to have you.”
“Will everyone hate me?” I ask Devon.
He arches a brow. “What else would you expect?”
I sigh. “This is all so stupid and arbitrary.”
I feel them both go still.
“I’d keep that thought to yourself,” Devon says with an edge to his voice.
“Yeah. Sorry.” I rub my face.
“You’ll need to switch dorms,” Stevie says. “We can do it tomorrow.”
“That’s it, then?” I ask.
“That’s it,” Stevie says. “The pledge ceremony is in a few weeks, and then you’ll be one of us.”
She grimaces, and I almost have to laugh.
“I’m not so bad once you get to know me,” I say hopefully, and she gives me a searching look.
“I think you’re about to become a giant pain in my ass,” she says, and this time I do laugh.
Possibly.
Probably.
House Aria. I’d never really considered it until a few minutes ago.
This might be my chance to escape.
Maybe.
Or I might actually be building myself an even smaller cage.
“Okay, you can go then,” Stevie says. “Welcome . . . I guess.”
With that resounding endorsement, I leave the room to find Knox pacing outside. He stops when he sees me, and suddenly, the implications of my decision become a roundhouse kick to the chest. “Well? What happened?” he asks.
Trinity waits beside him with an expectant look on her face.
My mouth opens, but I can’t make the words come out.
He must read it in my features because his eyes widen. “Poet, tell me you’re pledging to House Fiama. Tell me!”
I shake my head, tears pressing the backs of my eyes. “I have to go,” I manage to choke out, then I turn and start walking. When I sense Knox behind me, I stop and spin around. “Don’t follow me. I need to be alone for a minute.”
For some reason, he listens. He’s probably in shock.
I take the opportunity to flee, walking as quickly as I can.
“Poet!” he calls. “Come back!”
But I can’t.
My decision has been made.
Now it’s time to face the consequences.