Chapter 28 #2
I reached for his hands, needing the contact, needing him to understand. “You’re not ruining me, Cash. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Even if it costs you your career? Your calling?” His fingers tightened around mine. “Because it will, you know. The church board, the community... they’re not all gonna be as understanding as Dolly.”
I looked into his dark eyes, seeing the fear there, the expectation of abandonment that he’d carried his whole life. And suddenly, the answer that had seemed so complicated last night became crystal clear.
“Then let them fire me,” I said simply.
Cash’s eyes widened. “Mike, you can’t—”
“I can, and I will if that’s what it takes.
” I stepped even closer, until we were nearly chest to chest. “Cash, I’ve spent my whole life either trying to purposely fuck it up or trying to make amends.
And until I met you, I didn’t realize how lonely I was, how much I felt like I had to hide who I was to fit in.
But with you... with you, I’m finally myself. I’m finally happy.”
His breath caught. “You said... in your message, you said...”
“That I love you.” I cupped his face in my hands, feeling the rough stubble under my palms. “I love you, Cash Callahan. All of you. The broken parts, the angry parts, the parts that think you don’t deserve good things. I love all of it.”
A shudder ran through his body, and for a moment I thought he might pull away. But then he was kissing me, desperate and grateful and full of everything he couldn’t say out loud. I kissed him back with equal fervor, pouring all my relief and love and determination into the connection between us.
When we broke apart, both of us were breathing hard.
“I love you too,” he whispered against my forehead. “I’ve never said that to anyone before, but I love you, Mike. And that terrifies the hell out of me.”
“Good,” I said, smiling through the tears I didn’t realize had started falling. “It should. Love is terrifying. But it’s worth it, right?”
We stood there holding each other on my front porch as the sun climbed higher, neither of us caring who might see.
After what felt like an eternity, Cash pulled back slightly, his hands still resting on my waist. “We should probably go inside,” he said, glancing around at the quiet street. “Before we give the neighbors more to gossip about.”
I laughed, wiping at my eyes with the back of my hand. “Yeah, probably.”
We made our way into the house, and I closed the door behind us. The familiar space felt different now, charged with possibility instead of the despair that had filled it just minutes before. Cash stood in my living room looking uncertain again, like he wasn’t sure what came next.
“When’s the last time you slept?” I asked, taking in his haggard appearance.
“Can’t remember,” he admitted. “Been driving all night, thinking in circles.”
I moved closer to him, reaching up to smooth down his unruly hair. “You need rest. We both do. Everything else can wait.”
“Mike,” he started, but I shook my head.
“No more talking right now. You came back. That’s all that matters.” I took his hand, leading him toward the bedroom. “Come on.”
He followed without protest. Once inside the room, I shut the door, drew the curtains, and turned the light off. Then, pressing myself against him, I began to undo each of his buttons one by one.
“Mike…” he whispered. “You don’t—”
“Hush,” I said, cutting him off. “We’re going to bed and you can’t sleep with all these clothes on.”
He nodded, silently allowing me to strip him down until he was standing there naked. I reached up, running my fingers through his thick chest hair, making sure he was really there.
“Your turn,” he said, reaching down and grabbing the hem of my t-shirt.
I lifted my arms, letting him pull the shirt over my head, his calloused fingers brushing against my skin and sending shivers through my tired body. The pajama pants followed, pooling at my feet until we were both naked, standing there in the dim light filtering through the curtains.
Cash’s hands found my waist, pulling me against him, and I could feel the exhaustion radiating from his body like heat. But there was something else there too. It was a desperate need for connection, for reassurance that this was real, that I wasn’t going to disappear on him.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he murmured against my neck, his voice rough with emotion. “I thought when I came back, you’d have changed your mind. Realized what being with me would cost you.”
I pulled back to look at him, seeing the vulnerability he was trying so hard to hide. “Never,” I said firmly. “I’m not going anywhere, Cash. I love you.”
His answer was another kiss, slower this time but no less intense.
I could taste the stale coffee he’d probably grabbed at some gas station, could feel the slight tremor in his hands as they roamed my back.
We were both running on fumes, emotionally and physically drained from the longest night of our lives.
It wasn’t until he pulled away that I saw the tears staining his cheeks.
“I love you too,” he whispered.
“Come on,” I said, guiding him toward the bed. “We need sleep.”
We crawled under the covers together, and I immediately pulled him against me, needing the solid warmth of his body pressed to mine. He settled with his head on my chest, one arm thrown across my waist, and I could feel some of the tension finally leaving his muscles.
And then, overcome by a feeling of peace, both of us drifted off in each other’s arms. My last thought was a simple prayer.
Thank you God, the universe, whoever you are, for bringing this man into my life. I’ll treasure him forever.