Epilogue Mike
One Day Later
The church was silent as I stood at the pulpit, looking out over my congregation. I could feel the tension in the air, like they were waiting on pins and needles for me to speak. So, I decided to give them what they wanted.
“Well, I’m sure several of you caught the show at the fundraiser on Friday,” I said, drawing a few chuckles from the crowd.
“And as much as I’d love to stand up here and say that someone was wrong or preach love or tell you that it was something that’ll never happen again…
I can’t.” Silence resumed as dozens of faces stared back at me.
“Because the truth is that your new pastor is gay.”
It was so quiet you could’ve heard a mouse fart in the walls.
“And as much as I would like to keep my private life, well… private, I realize that I’m a public servant and therefore, some things will just have to be said.
” I stood up a little straighter, putting my arms out wide.
“My name is Mike Johnson, and I’m a gay man.
I serve God and my community. And my door is always open to those in need.
But I also understand that our world isn’t always accepting of such things.
Even today, as I look out over you all, I see at least a handful of faces missing from our congregation. ”
My eyes scanned across the room before they landed on Brooks, Rowan, and then Cash.
“But there are new faces here too. Friendly faces. Faces of people who, like me, serve this community while being true to themselves.” I put my arms down, stepping away from the pulpit.
“So instead of asking you for permission or acceptance today, I’m going to ask you for forgiveness.
Not for me or who I am, but for those in our community who have not yet learned to love their neighbors.
Don’t hate them, shun them, or push them away.
That’s not what God teaches us. He teaches us to love them anyway, to help them find their own path to the light. ”
I took a deep breath, feeling Cash’s steady gaze on me from the back pew where he sat beside Brooks and Rowan. The sight of him there, choosing to stay despite everything, gave me the courage to continue.
“I know some of you are wondering about my relationship with Cash Callahan,” I said, my voice carrying clearly through the hushed sanctuary.
“And I won’t insult your intelligence by pretending there isn’t one.
Cash and I... we care deeply for each other.
He’s a good man who’s been carrying wounds from this community for far too long, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let anyone tear him down again. ”
A few murmurs rippled through the congregation, but I pressed on.
“Now, I understand that some of you may feel uncomfortable with this revelation. You may feel that your pastor should be... different than I am. And if that’s the case, I respect your feelings. But I won’t apologize for loving someone, and I won’t hide who I am to make others more comfortable.”
Mrs. Henderson in the third row was nodding approvingly, while the Pattersons looked uncertain. Dolly, of course, was beaming like a proud mother from her usual spot near the front.
“What I will promise you is this,” I continued, stepping closer to the congregation.
“My personal life will never interfere with my calling to serve this community. I will still be here for your weddings, your funerals, your celebrations and your sorrows. I will still visit the sick, comfort the grieving, and counsel those in need. Because that’s what God called me to do, regardless of who I love. ”
I paused, letting my eyes sweep across the faces before me. Some looked accepting, others confused, a few clearly disapproving. But they were all still here, still listening.
“If any of you have questions or concerns, my door is always open. If you feel you can no longer worship here because of who I am, I understand and wish you well in finding a spiritual home that suits your needs. But if you choose to stay, know that you’re part of a community that believes love is love, that everyone deserves dignity and respect, and that God’s grace is big enough to cover us all. ”
I moved back behind the pulpit, my hands gripping the familiar wood as I prepared to deliver the rest of my message.
An unprompted chorus of “amens” echoed through the church, stronger than I’d expected.
When I looked up, I saw Cash wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Brooks patting his shoulder supportively.
“Now,” I said, managing a smile, “let’s sing together.”
As the organ wheezed to life and voices began to rise in familiar harmony, I felt something settle in my chest. This was right. This was who I was meant to be, a pastor who didn’t hide, who stood in truth even when it was terrifying.
When the service ended, I braced myself for the exodus I was sure would come. Instead, I found myself surrounded by congregation members wanting to shake my hand, offer words of support, or simply say they were glad I’d been honest with them.
“You did good, sugar,” Dolly said as she made her way out. “Damn good.”
But it was Cash’s approach that made my heart race. He waited until most of the congregation had filtered out, then walked slowly up the aisle toward me. His eyes were red-rimmed but bright, and when he reached me, he didn’t hesitate to pull me into his arms right there at the altar.
“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered against my ear, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t believe you did that for me.”
“I did it for us,” I murmured back, not caring who might see us embracing in the sanctuary. “I love you, Cash. I’m not hiding that anymore.”
He pulled back to look at me, his hands framing my face. “You know there’s gonna be hell to pay for this, right? The church board might try to—”
“Let them come,” I said, surprising myself with how calm I felt about it. “We’ll face whatever happens together. Nothing will take you away from me again.”
Cash’s smile was radiant as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to my lips. Behind us, I heard Dolly’s loud whistle of approval echoing through the sanctuary.
“Lock the doors,” she called out cheerfully. “This old church could use some excitement, but we don’t need another repeat of Friday night.”
I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in years. Whatever came next, whatever battles we’d have to fight, I knew we’d face them side by side. And for the first time since I’d arrived in Sagebrush, I felt like I was exactly where I belonged.
And so, as soon as the church was empty, I led Cash to the front doors and did just what Dolly said. I reached up, flipped the latch, and locked us in. Then, I turned to my man, and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“So, cowboy…” I began. “You wanna have some fun?”
“Cowboy?” he asked, pulling me tight against him. I could already feel the stiffness in the crotch of his jeans. “Don’t know if I’m much of that.”
“You own a ranch, don’t you?”
“Well, yeah but—”
“Then you’re a cowboy,” I grinned. “We’ll get you a hat this week. Then we can figure out how we’re gonna build you a home on that land of yours.”
He grinned, stooping low so that our lips were only an inch apart. “How about a home for both of us, pastor?”
My heart raced and my stomach fluttered. Before I knew it I was kissing him so hard that I nearly knocked him over.
“You better fuck me right here and now, Cash,” I said, kissing him over and over again.
“Is that all it takes?” he laughed, gathering me up into his arms as I wrapped my legs around his waist. “Just a few pretty words?”
I laughed against his mouth, my hands tangling in his hair. “More than that,” I admitted breathlessly. “But it’s a good start.”
He carried me toward the altar, his lips never leaving mine, and I felt a thrill run through me at the sacrilege of it all.
The irony wasn’t lost on me either. Here I was, the gay pastor who’d just come out to his entire congregation, about to defile the very place where I preached about love and acceptance every Sunday.
“You sure about this?” Cash asked as he set me down on the steps leading up to the altar, his hands already working at the buttons of my dress shirt. “Seems a little... blasphemous.”
“God is love,” I said, pulling his face down to mine for another kiss. “And I love you. I can’t think of anywhere more appropriate.” Then I added, “Just don’t tell anyone.”
That earned me a growl of approval as he stripped my shirt away, his calloused hands immediately finding my chest. I arched into his touch, already aching for more despite the fact that we’d made love just that morning before getting ready for church.
“Besides,” I added with a wicked grin, “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be taken on an altar.”
Cash’s eyes darkened at my words, and suddenly his hands were everywhere.
He was tugging at my belt, pushing my pants down my hips, and mapping every inch of exposed skin like he was claiming territory.
I helped him strip away his own clothes with fumbling fingers, both of us laughing when his shirt got caught on his head.
When we were both naked, he pressed me back against the altar steps, the cool stone sending shivers across my heated skin.
The late morning light streaming through the stained glass windows painted our bodies in brilliant blues and reds and golds, making everything feel ethereal and sacred despite the decidedly unholy things we were about to do.
“You’re so beautiful,” Cash murmured, his mouth trailing down my throat to my chest. “Can’t believe you’re mine.”
“Believe it,” I gasped as his teeth found my nipple, sending sparks of pleasure straight to my cock. “I’m always gonna be yours, Cash.”
He worked his way lower, his tongue tracing patterns across my ribs, my stomach, the sharp jut of my hipbone. When he reached my cock, already hard and leaking against my belly, he looked up at me with those dark eyes full of mischief.