Chapter 11
TOBIAS TOSSED AND TURNED all night thinking about his upcoming conversation with Alyssa. They’d made a plan to talk at ten that morning to discuss what he needed.
Today he also planned on deciding whether or not he’d play in the upcoming alumni game. He’d have to call Riley’s sister, who did PR for the Philly Inferno, to let her know and he hoped his talk with Alyssa would help him with the decision.
Since it was a Sunday and the gym was closed, he took over Madison’s morning care for the day.
During the week, his mom woke up with her and took care of her all morning until he got home.
Grace was incapable of sleeping in, and it allowed him to have the six a.m. class to himself.
Tobias even stopped advertising the class as an option on his schedule because he didn’t want anyone else to come in and ruin what he had with the rest of the morning crew.
Probably not the best business move he’d ever made, but it was good for his sanity and he considered that way more important.
The guys at the gym called him stoic and grumpy, but their class was the most therapeutic part of his day.
Sure, a lot of people considered exercise their therapy, but that wasn’t what settled Tobias.
It was the camaraderie with the guys, the banter between them, living vicariously through their shenanigans.
Tobias gave off the vibe all of it was beneath him, but the truth was it kept him going.
It was the only socialization he got besides his mom and a six-year-old little girl, so he treasured it.
The clock on his dresser said he still had plenty of time before Madison usually woke, so he got himself ready for the day.
A hot shower was exactly what he needed to battle his body’s aches from his tossing and turning all night.
Once he was dressed in jeans, a long-sleeved tee and his coziest socks, he checked his phone.
Last week, Shane Kendrick started texting him about the upcoming Inferno alumni game. He was the current goaltender for the team and had been Tobias’ backup when he played. They had the typical mentor-mentee relationship, but Tobias also considered him a friend.
The number of friends he had was small, and it made him even sadder how few on that list knew about his mental health. Well, except for Chase, although he didn’t really consider him a friend. Tobias considered him a… something. Something hitting him upside the head so he’d pay attention.
He’d worry about it later. Instead, he opened his messages from Shane.
SHANE: You wanna get together soon for some training? See if you still got it? I know you want back on the ice. Let me help you get there!
Tobias sighed and sat on the edge of his bed.
TOBIAS: I’m gonna decide today. There’s something I need to figure out first. I have no idea if I still got it.
SHANE: Dude. You were one of the greatest in the league. Ever. Even if you lost half your skills, you’d still be better than me.
A snort escaped him. Shane was so full of shit. The team may have been struggling, but he was one of the reasons they managed to hang with the rest of the league.
TOBIAS: If you say so. I’ll let you know what I decide later and, yeah, maybe we can do some training.
SHANE: ::fingers crossed emoji::
He smirked as he slid the phone in his pocket and got up to check if Madison was awake yet.
Peeking through the crack in her door, he saw her tired eyes slowly blink open.
He pushed the door open and quietly made his way to her bed, which was covered in a thick purple comforter decorated with stars.
Sitting on the edge of her bed, he ran a hand through her brown tresses.
A smile bloomed on her face as she peered up at him.
“Oby, I missed you. Did you have fun at your party?” she said, yawning.
“It was fun, but I missed you the whole time, Maddie-moo,” he said as he leaned forward to give her a kiss on the cheek and blow a raspberry on the same spot, drawing out the cutest giggle. “You want to help me make Gigi a special breakfast today?”
She sat up and ran her hands through her hair, trying to tame the tangles.
“Okay! What are we celebrating?”
“Nothing at all. Sometimes it’s nice to do things for the people we love.”
Her smile lit up the room better than the rays of sunlight peeking through her purple curtains.
“Let’s do it!” she said as she jumped out of bed.
They spent the morning making Grace pancakes, eggs and bacon. There was no way to repay her for moving in to help him take care of Madison while Natalie was gone, but he figured a nice breakfast couldn’t hurt. Plus, he had to butter her up to watch Madison while he spoke on the phone with Alyssa.
Once Grace joined them at the kitchen table and they were all stuffed, Madison escaped to play with some magnetic tiles.
He’d alerted his mom to his plan to speak to Alyssa the night before, and she was happy to watch Madison so he could focus on the phone call. Like Chase, Grace wanted to fight for their happiness, too.
When it was time, he escaped to the office in his house. There wasn’t much to it, but he kept important files in there along with a desk for when he needed it.
At ten on the dot, his phone rang and Alyssa’s name flashed on the screen. He appreciated her punctuality.
After quick hellos, she got right down to business.
“So, Tobias, tell me exactly what you’re thinking for the kids’ classes.”
“Sure. Like I told you last night, I want to start with yoga…”
He went on to explain his ideas for the kids’ classes and how he was hoping they’d evolve. When they covered everything he needed regarding legal requirements, he had one more thing to discuss with Alyssa.
Tobias took a deep breath before he could continue.
“I’m gay. I planned on coming out after my last season, and then I had a breakdown and needed to leave the NHL.
I want to be able to walk down the street holding my husband’s hand one day, if I’m lucky enough to get one.
Do you think… Do you think it’s safe for me to come out?
Owning a business and hosting kids’ classes? Does that affect this at all?”
Deep down, Tobias knew it shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help overthinking. It was what he did best.
“Oh, Tobias, I’m so sorry you’ve had to hide against your wishes. The only thing it changes is the fact I will be front and center fighting for you with every legal power if anybody tries to give you trouble.”
Tobias’ eyes filled with tears and he had trouble saying anything past the lump in his throat. When he first approached Alyssa, he wasn’t even thinking about her being a lesbian, but he could appreciate the benefits of having her in his corner.
It took him a minute to say anything, but he was able to clear his throat and croak out a weak thank you.
“And I know this isn’t totally professional, but we’re in similar friend circles so I’m going with it. If you and Madison ever want to have a playdate with Colin, I’d be happy to bring him over, or you could come to our place. Kids always need more friends. And so do you, Tobias.”
There was no stopping the hiccup that escaped as tears streamed down his face.
“It will be okay. Just breathe, Tobias. We’re going to get through this together, okay?”
He managed a small whimper, and Alyssa gave him a minute to get it together.
“And I don’t think any of this should keep you from playing in the alumni game, or from coming out. You got this, Tobias. And you can reach out to me anytime you’re struggling.”
After thanking Alyssa and promising to set up a playdate for Colin and Madison sometime soon, Tobias was on top of the world. Before he could lose any momentum, he pulled up the next name on his short list of calls to make.
The line rang twice before a feminine voice said hello.
“Hi, is this Sophie Hanson? From the Inferno?”
“Yes, it is,” she said. “How can I help you?”
“Actually, I think I can help you,” he started, unable to keep the smile off his face. “This is Tobias Moyer. I hear you have an opening in net for the alumni game.”
“For real? You’re in?” she said excitedly, and a crash sounded in the background that she seemed to ignore, because she kept talking. “You’re really going to play?”
“Yes, I’m really going to play. I just have a few conditions.”
“Name them. They’re yours. Wait, I shouldn’t say that, but in all likelihood I will once you’re done telling me, and Shane will be so excited to hear you’re going to play and the fans will be too because you were such a fan favorite.
You were quiet, but people loved that, and not that you care, but this is going to make me look so good if I can sign you on for this game, so there isn’t much I’d say no to when it comes to you, except for illegal or inappropriate stuff of course, but I should let you actually tell me the conditions before I even bring that up, don’t want to give you any ideas. So, what are the conditions?”
Damn. Riley’s sister was a ball of chaotic energy.
So long as she could handle his needs, he’d be in this. Now, all he had to do was make sure he still had the skills to do it.