Chapter 12
IT WAS MONDAY FOLLOWING the going-away party and the gym was back to normal. Cole and his friends had done a great job of cleaning and putting all the equipment back where it belonged.
Thank goodness, because Tobias already had enough going on in his life to have to worry about anything else.
It was easy to tell Tobias’ anxiety was still on edge because he seemed to be barking at everyone more than usual during the workout. Certainly not the healthiest course of action. He likely needed an outlet to expel all of his nervous energy.
Chase was proud of him for taking that step with Alyssa and asking for help. So many people struggled with that simple task, but Tobias did it. It killed Chase how much Tobias was hiding, and he hoped he could keep helping him shoulder the burden. Tobias just had to keep letting him in.
Chase didn’t always take part in the workouts, usually sticking to the yoga portions at the beginning and end of each session, but today he was in the thick of it.
Luckily, worrying about Tobias was helping Chase forget about the torture he was delivering to his own body.
They were tasked with completing five pull-ups, ten push-ups and fifteen air squats as many times as they could in twenty minutes, and Chase’s loose tank was a darker color than when he’d started thanks to all the sweating he was doing.
“Clock is running out. Move it,” Tobias shouted, and Chase managed to pick up his pace.
Only Josh seemed to be keeping up with Chase, meeting him rep for rep, and part of Chase hoped Tobias was watching.
Not because he was showing off or anything.
But every time he glanced at Tobias, he looked elsewhere, and Chase tried not to take it personally.
The guy had been through a lot this weekend, and Chase didn’t even know how the talk went with Alyssa on Sunday.
Tobias surveyed the whole scene with intensity, focused on everyone’s movements and making sure everyone used proper form so they wouldn’t get hurt.
“One minute,” he shouted. “Every rep counts. Finish strong.”
It was like Tobias had hit each of them with a cattle prod, and they all found a new gear as they fought to finish every rep they could before time ran out. They all wanted to score as high as they could on the leaderboard each day. Chase was a bit competitive over it.
Tobias counted down the last five seconds, and everyone collapsed to the ground, winded and beaten from the workout.
Chase was trying to catch his breath, but it kept outrunning him. He thought he might pass out from the lack of oxygen getting to his brain, but Tobias’ voice rang out and kept him conscious.
“Okay, Chase will lead us in our yoga cooldown,” Tobias said.
“Yup, in a minute,” Chase said, pausing between words for deep breaths, his limbs spread out on the ground around him. “Be right there, boss.”
A huff of laughter echoed in the now quiet gym, and his head spun in Tobias’ direction.
Oh my God, did I make Tobias laugh?
Chase wasn’t the only one caught off guard.
“Tobes,” Cole said carefully, trying not to spook the man. “Did you just… laugh?”
Tobias peered at Cole, then at the rest of the group, and settled on Chase.
His cheeks were turning an adorable shade of pink, and Chase felt an entire drumline pounding in his heart.
“You’re hearing things, Durbin,” Tobias barked, and turned to the computer at the front of the room, preparing the screen for each of them to enter their scores.
Had Chase achieved the impossible with Tobias? Everyone else’s shock told him he did, and he was astonished. He wanted to shout the unlocked achievement from the rooftops. But first, work.
“Right, um, everyone on your stomachs,” he instructed, continuing to steal glances at Tobias’ tense posture. “Deep breath, and rise onto your hands for upward dog.”
Chase focused on the satisfying stretch and led the group through several movements for their cooldown. When they finished, everyone took their time making their way to the computer to input their final scores. Tobias loaded the score page as Riley approached him.
“Hey, man,” Riley said, putting a friendly hand on Tobias’ shoulder. “I wanted to say thanks for doing the alumni game. It’s been a huge deal for Sophie so I’m really thankful.”
Holy shit, he said yes to the game?
Chase’s pep talk—or maybe his talk with Alyssa—must have gone better than he expected. He’d hoped Tobias would text him about it, but he was probably distracted by his nerves too much to think of it.
Tobias stiffened and continued facing the screen.
“I’m happy to make others look good,” he said gruffly.
He flinched when Chase popped up on his other side. He hoped that wouldn’t always be Tobias’ reaction to him, but he was too pumped about the news to think about anything else, so he stupidly said, “You’re gonna be the one looking good when it comes to the game.”
Tobias’ gaze snapped in Chase’s direction.
Shock.
Shit, was that too much?
“N-not that you don’t always look good,” he said, stumbling through his words. “I mean, you actually make everyone else look bad. Not that you don’t make them look good. You’re so…” Chase glanced at Riley, but he looked as lost as Chase.
Cole shifted the focus to himself, one of his strengths, putting an arm around both Chase and Tobias. He was either going to make this better or much worse.
“Tobes, heard you were gonna play in the Philly alumni game,” Cole said, loudly enough for everyone left in the gym to hear. “Did you know Chase is a trained goalie? For soccer, but same idea. You should totally train together. Get Chase to help you shake off all the rust.”
Josh piped up from his spot next to Riley and threw a grenade into their conversation. “It’s so cool how you guys can still be friends even though you dated for so long. None of my exes ever wanted to stick around.”
Even with Cole between them, Chase could sense the tension emanating from Tobias.
“Who dated?” Tobias asked.
“Cole and Chase, in, like, high school,” Josh said, and Tobias paled. “They were cute together, too.”
“Ah. Gotcha.” Tobias glanced at the crowd around him and excused himself. “Go ahead and enter your scores, everyone. See ya tomorrow.”
Without another glance, he walked away toward his office.
“Did I say something wrong?” Josh asked as everyone inputted their scores.
Chase stepped away from the group and quietly made his way toward the office without saying another word.
Tobias’ office door was closed, but he opened it without knocking and entered, shutting the door behind him.
The man was sitting at his desk, pulling his knitting out of a drawer.
Chase quietly sat down in the chair on the other side of the desk, waiting for Tobias to break the silence.
It was taking all his energy not to get his hopes up about Tobias’ reaction.
Was he upset because he was jealous?
Or was it because Cole drove Tobias up the wall, and now Tobias didn’t trust Chase for dating someone like him?
One of those options had him freaking out internally because it possibly meant Tobias was attracted to Chase. But the other could doom them before anything even happened.
After a couple minutes of silence followed by everyone outside the office leaving, Chase couldn’t take it anymore.
“Everything okay, boss?”
The clicking of the needles paused, and Tobias stared at them for a long moment, then he continued knitting and said, “Of course everything is okay. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Tobias still wasn’t making eye contact, so Chase leaned forward and folded his arms on the desk.
“You kinda ran out of there pretty quick after hearing I used to date Cole.”
The man continued knitting, focusing on the yarn moving through his needles. Chase was mesmerized watching him, and an image of them cozying up in bed together, Chase with a book and Tobias with his yarn, popped into Chase’s mind.
No. Focus.
Tobias muttered, “I just remembered I had things to do.”
“Yes, I can see these things are quite the priority. You in a rush to finish the blanket?”
Tobias grunted as the needles moved deftly in his hands.
Chase figured he’d give honesty a try.
“Cole and I met at a goalkeeper training camp when both of us were hiding our sexualities. We were each other’s firsts for a lot of things, and we kind of used each other to figure out what we liked and what we didn’t like.”
Click. Click. Click.
Chase continued, “It wasn’t too long before we admitted we weren’t right for each other.”
“Why not?” Tobias muttered low enough for Chase to barely hear it over the clicking.
“Well, I’m vers, while Cole decided he only wanted one direction.
He tried the other way, but didn’t enjoy it.
I like taking charge, taking control, but in a caring, protective way,” Chase explained, and Tobias slightly fumbled a stitch.
Chase tried to hold back his smirk, but likely failed.
It was a good thing Tobias was still focused on his knitting.
“While Cole wanted… Well, let’s just say he needed a bottom, and I prefer to top.
We also bonded over our homophobic dads.
It was more of a friendship than anything else.
I was never in love with him, and he was never my boyfriend. ”
Click. Click. Click.
Something about the noise was so soothing despite the palpable tension in the room.
Tobias cleared his throat, but continued his clicking.
“So, is that your type, then? Guys like Cole?”
Chase internally fist pumped. Tobias was jealous. That he could work with.
“What’s wrong with guys like Cole?” he asked slyly.
“Nothing’s wrong with Cole,” Tobias said, his needling becoming slightly more aggressive than a moment ago.
“He’s just so loud and out there and he says whatever is on his mind.
Like, sure, people have impulsive thoughts of things they’d do or shout if there were no consequences, but Cole says them and somehow gets away with it. I could never be that guy.”
Whoa. This whole time, Chase assumed Cole irritated him because he was such a loose cannon and he seemed to try his best to be as obnoxious as possible. This sounded more like Tobias was actually jealous of Cole.
“No one needs you to be that guy. Cole was a good catch in high school and for experimenting, but he’s not what I’m looking for.”
Eyes still on his yarn, Tobias muttered, “Then what are you looking for?”
Chase leaned farther forward, until he was on the edge of his chair. There was only a foot of space between their faces, and Tobias raised his gaze to Chase’s.
“Exactly what I texted you. I like a guy who’s bigger than me, but who’ll submit and let me take care of him.
Someone who will let me worship every inch of his body.
Someone who doesn’t fall to toxic masculinity, who doesn’t mind doing things others deem less manly,” he said in a low voice as his eyes cut to Tobias’ knitting and then right back to his stare.
“Someone who takes care of the people around him, but doesn’t take care of himself like he should. Someone who will let me do it for him.”
Tobias released a shaky breath, his eyes never leaving Chase’s.
“I also have a thing for hockey asses. But that would be a bonus, not a requirement,” he added, and threw in a wink for good measure.
A shaky laugh escaped Tobias and he dropped his gaze, the ghost of a smile on his face.
“Well, um, good to know, I guess. Not that it matters, of course, since I’m your boss.”
“Of course,” Chase said, offering a firm nod before he stood. Tobias was trying to dismiss him, but he couldn’t help himself. He needed to have the last word. “You are absolutely the boss of me. In the gym, anyway.”
Tobias’ gaze flew to Chase’s, and he beamed at the shock on his face.
Chase continued talking as he made a hasty exit.
“I’ll catch you later, boss. And remember, we’ve got the acroyoga seminar next week, and I can’t wait to see you in action.”
Leaving the slack-jawed Tobias in his office, Chase grabbed his things and bundled up to leave.
He never stopped smiling on his drive home, happy their conversation would give Tobias plenty to think about.