Chapter 22
CHASE SPENT HIS ENTIRE morning rushing around his apartment to expel his nerves. He got so antsy he had to roll out his yoga mat to do some calming movements and deep breathing.
It wasn’t like he didn’t have experience dating. He knew his way around dating apps and had his fair share of fails, but this was his first time on a date with a man and his niece.
Even so, he was a bit freaked out that this was the best date he’d been on in years. Maybe it was too soon to think about, but he couldn’t help picturing a future where Chase and Tobias walked along with their own little one to keep them entertained.
Tobias may have struggled with his social anxiety, but he was an amazing uncle to Madison and Chase knew he would be just as incredible with his own child.
Chase figured Tobias was nervous because he cared so much, and that endeared him to Chase more than his hockey career, his muscles or his drop-dead gorgeous looks. Although, those sure didn’t hurt.
From his spot next to Chase, Tobias cleared his throat, drawing Chase’s attention.
Now that they had a minute to themselves while Madison entertained herself, Tobias seemed nervous again, so Chase wasn’t sure what to expect.
“So, uh, you mentioned some stuff with your dad. What happened with him? If you’re okay talking about it, that is.
I mean, you don’t need to talk about anything you don’t want to talk about.
I just figured… I mean, you know so much about me, and we never talk about you.
” Tobias paused to take a deep breath and huffed out a laugh when he looked at Chase.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to be super awkward. It comes naturally.”
Chase chuckled, and turned to watch Madison as he thought about how best to answer the question.
“I don’t mind talking about me. It’s just a hard topic I don’t like to dwell on,” Chase said, and continued quickly when he noticed Tobias about to say something. “I do want to tell you. I’ve been enjoying getting to know you better, and I want you to know me too.”
He took a deep breath as he organized his thoughts, keeping his eyes on Madison so he wouldn’t have to see any judgment, sympathy or pity from Tobias.
“My dad is a raging homophobe, and I learned pretty quickly to hide that part of myself from him and the rest of my family. My mom wasn’t like my dad, but she didn’t really stand up to him either.
Any time he said something offensive, she kinda just rolled her eyes at him.
My brother, Shawn…” Chase paused to take a breath.
“He was a lot like my dad and believed everything he preached about the Bible, and the sins of homosexuals, and how we’d all end up in hell one day.
It disappointed me how ignorant they were, and their logic didn’t even make sense half the time.
Anyway, apart from his hatred of our community, he was otherwise an okay dad.
We watched hockey together and he came to all my soccer games and supported me.
I did everything I could to be the best son ever, hoping if he ever found out about me, he would forgive me for not wanting to ever end up with a woman.
“When I was sixteen, Shawn walked in on me and Cole fooling around in my room. He said awful things, accused Cole of ‘turning me toward evil’ and then decided it would be a great idea to out me to my parents when they got home. My dad flipped out, said all the horrible things you worry about hearing someone say, and I thought I was going to get kicked out of my house.”
Chase paused for a moment, doing everything he could to keep himself from crying in the middle of a giant art exhibit.
Tobias’ hand squeezed his shoulder, and it gave him the strength to keep going.
“My mom surprised all of us and took my side against my dad. Said I was her son no matter what he thought and she would go on loving me even if I was the gayest kid in the world. She said turning on your child was worse than me being with another boy. She was sick of my dad’s shit, and she couldn’t possibly stay with someone who would treat her son so cruelly.
By the next week, my mom and I moved out and got a place in Bucks County in Pennsylvania, almost an hour away, and we never looked back.
It was only recently Shawn said he figured out queer people weren’t the enemy, and he’s been trying to fix things between us.
It’s slow going because he broke my trust, but he’s pretty adamant about winning it back.
I’m supposed to meet him for an early lunch tomorrow.
It’s a little bit easier every time I see him. ”
Tobias had been silent, but his hand on Chase’s shoulder had remained. Tobias squeezed again before dropping his hand.
“Your mom sounds awesome. I’m sorry things went so badly with your dad. Have you talked to him since?”
“Not a word. Whenever he tried to talk to my mom, she blew him off every time. Told him it’s both of us or neither of us.”
“Damn, she’s officially my hero,” Tobias said, and Chase turned to see awe on Tobias’ face.
It was a hell of a lot better than sympathy, but that would come next.
“She died from breast cancer five years ago, and eventually I had to move away. It hurt too much to be around everything that reminded me of her every day.”
“Shit,” Tobias breathed. “I’m so sorry, Chase. She sounds like she was an amazing person.”
“She was. She was all I had,” Chase said, offering Tobias a sad smile. He needed a subject change or he would burst out in tears in the middle of this whimsical place.
Thankfully, they didn’t have time to keep talking, because Madison raced toward them, barreling into Tobias’ legs.
“Let’s go back to the DJ room!” she shouted, barely out of breath from all the sprints she’d done through the maze.
No wonder Tobias was in such good shape since retiring from hockey. He had to be to keep up with Madison.
Chase didn’t want to fall behind.
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By the time they left the art experience, the three of them rushed to the car to escape the bitter chill. Tobias cranked the heat and turned on his and Chase’s seat warmers.
“I’m hungry,” Madison said once they got in the car. “Can I have a snack?”
Tobias winced. “I knew I forgot to pack something. How about we go out to dinner somewhere in the city before we go home?”
“Yeah!”
“I actually had an idea for a place, in case you two were up for it,” Chase said.
“I trust you,” Tobias said. “Just give me directions.”
Chase’s cheeks warmed. He knew how big a deal it was to earn Tobias’ trust since few people could breach his walls.
When Chase prepared for today’s date, he tried to find a restaurant that catered to kids but still provided delicious food worthy of a man like Tobias.
They hopped on I-95 and drove until they reached the Northern Liberties neighborhood of Philly, then Chase navigated them to Craft Hall.
On the surface, it was just a sports bar with big TVs and BBQ-style food, but inside featured ping-pong and pool tables, an arcade and a giant playhouse for kids shaped like a pirate ship.
Both Tobias and Madison’s eyes lit up when the three of them walked in, requesting a table for three from the hostess.
It wasn’t quite as empty as Otherworld had been, thanks to the chilly weekday, but they managed to beat the dinner crowd.
Chase wasn’t sure how much energy Madison would have for the place after running around the art exhibits for so long. By the time she finished her meal and ran to play on the big pirate ship, Chase learned that kids’ energy reserves were much harder to deplete than he thought.
“How is she still going?” Chase asked, astonished as he watched Madison climb through the ship over and over again.
“The stamina of children is horrifying. Take it from me, you’ll run out of energy way before she ever does. She’ll sleep hard tonight, though.”
Chase chuckled as he finished off his smokehouse pizza, something that put every other meat lover’s pizza he’d ever eaten to shame.
Tobias took a bite of his pulled pork sandwich, a bit of barbecue sauce lingering behind on his bottom lip. Chase reached out, planning to wipe it away with his thumb, maybe putting it in his mouth afterward to tease Tobias a little. Instead, Tobias flinched away and reached for a napkin.
“Ah, sorry,” Tobias said, his gaze bouncing around the room to see if anyone noticed.
Message received. Tobias wasn’t quite ready for public displays of affection yet, or at least not when they were out with Madison.
It was hard not to wish for it, but Chase could be patient. For now, at least.